Badass Boast/Real Life: Difference between revisions

''Of Kurdistan and Luristan, and of the countries of Rumelia and Anatolia and Karaman and Wallachia and Moldavia and Hungary all together, and of many more worthy kingdoms of countries.''

''Sultan and Padishah.'' }}

** That reply is probably a fake, though.

* Atahualpa, the final sovereign emperor of the Inca empire, had such a (possibly ahistorical) boast to the Spanish when they told him his land had been granted to them by the Pope:

** Somewhat [[Subverted Trope|subverted]] in that he surrendered anyway.

* From the same era, we have Marshal Lefebvre, who had risen from the ranks to become one of Napoleon's senior generals. One of his dinner guests supposedly expressed envy of his wealth. Lefebvre's response was to offer to take him outside and take twenty shots at him from thirty paces; if the guest survived it would all be his. Unsurprisingly, he declined. "I had a thousand bullets fired at me from much closer range before I got this," said Lefebre. Most other French generals could have said the same.

* One time Ghenghis Khan had his horse shot under him during a clan war. After the fighting he assembled the prisoners and asked who had done that. One of the prisoners said, "It was I."

** After that Ghenghis Khan rewarded him. He may have been a monster sometimes but he did have [[Magnificent Bastard|style]] at other times.

*** In the second case he should have had a man chosen by lottery as representative. It would have been too cool a [[Badass Boast]] not to remember.

* [[Indonesia|Gajah Mada]], before his campaign to unify the archipelago, made this oath to his queen: ''"If the external territorities of Majapahit are lost, I will not taste any spices. And until I have conquered Malaka, Seram, Tanjungpura, Haru, Pahang, Dompo, Bali, Sunda and Palembang... I will ''never'' taste any spices."'' And, he actually ''succeeded'' and even expands the territority of Majapahit into the whole archipelago that will be known as Indonesia.

{{quote|Occasionally I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.}}

::It worked. He got into college, the essay won a contest, and Gallagher is now a successful novelist.

* [[Brian Blessed]] reportedly kept [[Oliver Reed]] from making trouble during the filming of ''[[Prisoner Of Honor]]'' with one of these, to the point that Reed was sober the whole time for fear of starting a fight that Brian had said he would end.

* General McAuliffe, at the Battle of the Bulge, was presented with a surrender ultimatum by the Germans. To which he said: "Nuts"

{{quote|'''York:''' I [[Funetik Aksent|jes]] couldn't miss a German's head or body at that distance. [[Boom! Headshot!|And I didn't.]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Besides, it weren't no time to miss nohow.]]}}

** When the German major who surrendered to York realized York had no other troops but a handful of terrified privates to corral his 132 prisoners:

* Khalid Bin Walid, named the Sword Of Allah by Muhammad himself, gave one on his deathbed: "I fought in so many battles seeking martyrdom that there is no place in my body but having a stabbing mark by a spear, a sword or a dagger, and yet here I am, dying on my bed like an old camel dies. May the eyes of cowards never sleep."

* In late 2011, a guy named Paul Christoforo [http://venturebeat.com/2011/12/27/ocean-marketing-how-to-self-destruct-your-company-with-just-a-few-measly-emails/ was acting like a dick to one of his company's customers] and it came to the attention of one Mike Krahulik. Christoforo began insulting Krahulik as well, until he realized that Krahulik is better known as Gabe from ''[[Penny Arcade]]''. [[Oh Crap|Realizing the catastrophic shitstorm he had just brought down on himself]], Christoforo began alternately begging for mercy and threatening legal action. Gabe posted on his blog in reply: "When these assholes threaten me or ''[[Penny Arcade]]'' I just laugh. I will personally burn everything I've made to the fucking ground if I think I can catch them in the flames."

 

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