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{{trope}}
{{quote|''And, ladies and gentlemen, the number one threat to America... BEARS!''|'''Stephen Colbert''', ''[[The Colbert Report]]''}}
|'''Stephen Colbert''', ''[[The Colbert Report]]''}}
 
{{quote|''"That's a scary-ass bear! That's, like, a ''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]''-sized bear! That's not even a bear. That's like a monster bear. What the fuck..."''|'''Nick and Brad from 4 Player Podcast''', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixvh-8W1OS8 "Holy Crap That's a Bear!"] upon seeing The Bear from ''[[Condemned]] 2'' for the first time.}}
|'''Nick and Brad from 4 Player Podcast''', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}Ixvh-8W1OS8 "Holy Crap That's a Bear!"] upon seeing The Bear from ''[[Condemned]] 2'' for the first time.}}
 
{{quote|''Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.''|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}
|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}
 
{{quote|'''Spike''': A bear! You made a bear!
'''Buffy''': I didn't mean to!
'''Spike''': Undo it! Undo it!|''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}
|''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}
 
{{quote|"''The thing about a bear''", his father had always said, ''"is that it can move as silently as breath. It could be watching you from ten paces away and you'd never know. Against a bear you have no defenses. You can't run faster. You can't climb higher. You can't fight it on your own. All you can do is learn its ways, and try to persuade it that you're neither threat nor prey.''"|''[[The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness|Wolf Brother]]''}}
|''[[The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness|Wolf Brother]]''}}
 
{{quote|''"You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."''|[[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy|Brian Fantana]]}}
|'''Brian Fantana''', ''[[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy]]''}}
 
{{quote|{{color|green|>}}
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FUCKING BEARSTOP.
FUCKING BEARSTOP.|'''/v/'s most common variation of the FUCKING GAMESTOP [[Memetic Mutation|meme]].'''}}
 
{{quote|''No Andalite accustomed to our more pacific animal life could possibly understand what a grizzly bear charge means. Even most humans would fail to imagine it. Grizzly bears are not lithe and graceful like the big cats. They are more like dogs. They move with a rolling, lopsided gait that at first seems almost tentative, as if they might stop at any moment.''}}
{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}▼
|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}
 
{{quote|''"Bears, [[Trademark Favorite Food|beets]]. . . [[Battlestar Galactica]]."''|Jim Halpert's imitation of Dwight, ''[[The Office]]''}}▼
▲{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}
|Jim Halpert's imitation of Dwight, ''[[The Office]]''}}
 
{{quote|Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'
▲{{quote|''"Bears, [[Trademark Favorite Food|beets]]. . . [[Battlestar Galactica]]."''|Jim Halpert's imitation of Dwight, ''[[The Office]]''}}
{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked.com|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}▼
 
▲{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked.com|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}
 
{{quote|'''Kathleen:''' “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.”
'''Gramm:''' “Explain.”
'''Kathleen:''' “Well, let’s see. Why don’t I list off everything that makes me afraid of bears, and we’ll take off anything that seems unreasonable. Bears are very large, they have giant teeth and claws, they have been known to maul humans, they can crush a human skull in their jaws, and if they can be taught to dance, I’m pretty sure they can be taught to do kung-fu, and that would fuck you up.”|'''[[Loading Ready Run]]''', from the episode [http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/29/OMG-Bears/QT OMG! Bears!]}}
|'''[[Loading Ready Run]]''', from the episode [http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/29/OMG-Bears/QT OMG! Bears!]}}
 
{{quote|Battle ''bears''? B E A R S?|'''[[George Takei]]''', ''[[Command and Conquer Red Alert]] 3'' outtakes, has the idea of the War Bear explained to him.}}
|'''[[George Takei]]''', ''[[Command & Conquer: Red Alert]] 3'' outtakes, has the idea of the War Bear explained to him.}}
 
{{quote|''"Bears are crazy, Willie. They'll bite your head if you're wearing steak on it."''|'''Space Ghost''', ''[[Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]''}}
|'''Space Ghost''', ''[[Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]''}}
 
{{quote|''Bear? Is the bear back? [[What Measure Is a Mook?|We've already lost one intern!]]''|'''Bridgette,''' ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' "Aftermath Aftermayhem"}}
|'''Bridgette''', ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' "Aftermath Aftermayhem"}}
 
{{quote|'''Hobo:''' Well Abby, can I tell you something about bears?
'''Abby:''' Sure.
'''Hobo:''' The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle, they will maul you. If a bear's claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull... your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything.
'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo with a Shotgun]]'''}}
|''[[Hobo with a Shotgun]]''}}
 
{{quote|"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"|'''[[Team Fortress 2|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}▼
|'''[[Team Fortress 2|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}
 
{{quote|"Acid was always [[The Stoner|my]] [[Mushroom Samba|favorite drug.]] When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure -- but we ran into a bear, and that was an even ''bigger'' buzzkill..."|'''[[Mitch Hedberg]]'''}}▼
|'''[[Mitch Hedberg]]'''}}
 
{{quote|[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]].
▲{{quote|"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"|'''[[Team Fortress 2|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}
{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale|The Winters Tale]]''}}▼
 
{{quote|"Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}▼
▲{{quote|"Acid was always [[The Stoner|my]] [[Mushroom Samba|favorite drug.]] When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure--but we ran into a bear, and that was an even ''bigger'' buzzkill..."|'''[[Mitch Hedberg]]'''}}
-- |'''[[What theThe Fuck Is Wrong With You?|Nash]]''', pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.}}▼
 
{{quote|'''Corbettite Monk''': Yeah! This thing'll knock down a ''stone wall!''
▲{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale|The Winters Tale]]''}}
(shoots a burning stream from coal-hucker at an army of bear constructs with big poleaxes)
'''Man in a hat''': You from the ''city'', brother?
'''Corbettite Monk''': What? ''Why?''
'''Man in a hat''': Friend, those are ''bears''. Throwing ''rocks'' at 'em? You're just gonna get 'em ''mad''.
'''Bears''': '''''MAAAUUUL!'''''
'''Corbettite Monk''': But... But I threw the rocks ''really hard!''
'''Man in a hat''': I can ''tell''. Now they're ''really mad''.
| ''[[Girl Genius]]'' [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date{{=}}20140905 Act 2 Vol. 1 Page 071] }}
{{quote|Augh! Get ''off'' me! Swarmy, fuzzy creatures! Get them off me! Off! '''Off!'''
Stop it! You… you have no metal!
…now I really ''am'' leaving!
'''''RHAAAGH!''''' What—I ''can't—?!'' How is this possible? You are mere flesh! You ''cannot'' be this strong! ''How dare you?!''
| '''The Beast''', upon a very close acquaintance with the same bears| ''[[Girl Genius]]'' Act 2 Vol. 2 Page 023}}
 
{{quote|Don't mind me, ladies and gentlemen. Just a Murder Bear with a panzer tank. This is perfectly normal.
▲{{quote|"Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}
|[[The Spiffing Brit]]|''[https://youtu.be/-CODQZh2WLk?t{{=}}1131 Breaking Skyrim With Cursed Mods]'', April 27, 2021}}
▲-- '''[[What the Fuck Is Wrong With You|Nash]]''', pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.
 
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Everything'sBears Worseare withBad BearsNews]]
[[Category:Quotes]]
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