Bears are Bad News/Quotes: Difference between revisions

▲{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs (Literature)|Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}

▲{{quote|''"Bears, [[Trademark Favorite Food|beets]]. . . [[Battlestar Galactica]]."''|Jim Halpert's imitation of Dwight, ''[[The Office]]''}}

▲{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked (Website)|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}

▲{{quote|'''Kathleen:''' “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.”<br />

▲'''Gramm:''' “Explain.” <br />

▲'''Kathleen:''' “Well, let’s see. Why don’t I list off everything that makes me afraid of bears, and we’ll take off anything that seems unreasonable. Bears are very large, they have giant teeth and claws, they have been known to maul humans, they can crush a human skull in their jaws, and if they can be taught to dance, I’m pretty sure they can be taught to do kung-fu, and that would fuck you up.”|'''[[Loading Ready Run]]''', from the episode [http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/29/OMG-Bears/QT OMG! Bears!]}}

▲{{quote|Battle ''bears''? B E A R S?|'''[[George Takei]]''', ''[[Command and Conquer Red Alert]] 3'' outtakes, has the idea of the War Bear explained to him.}}

▲{{quote|''"Bears are crazy, Willie. They'll bite your head if you're wearing steak on it."''|'''Space Ghost''', ''[[Space Ghost Coast to Coast]]''}}

▲{{quote|''Bear? Is the bear back? [[What Measure Is a Mook|We've already lost one intern!]]''|'''Bridgette,''' ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' "Aftermath Aftermayhem"}}

▲'''Abby:''' Sure.<br />

▲'''Hobo:''' The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle, they will maul you. If a bear's claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull... your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything.<br />

▲'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo With a Shotgun]]'''}}

▲{{quote|"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"|'''[[Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}

▲{{quote|"Acid was always [[The Stoner|my]] [[Mushroom Samba|favorite drug.]] When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure--but we ran into a bear, and that was an even ''bigger'' buzzkill..."|'''[[Mitch Hedberg]]'''}}

▲{{quote|''"[[Exit Pursued By a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winters Tale (Theatre)|The Winters Tale]]''}}

▲{{quote| "Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}

▲-- '''[[What the Fuck Is Wrong With You|Nash]]''', pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.