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== General ==
* Don't insult a person's home country or family/[[Your Mom|parent]]/sibling.
** If you threaten anyone's child under any circumstances, YOU WILL SUSTAIN DAMAGE.
**On that note the best way to start a war or keep it going is for one country to commit a perceived trespass on another's territory or women. It's no accident that when the allies liberated France, some of the most vindictively treated collaborators were not people who had actively cooperated with the Nazis but lonely girls who fell in love with equally lonely German soldiers.
***One notorious incident took place in Palermo on March 30, 1282 (Vespers) where a French soldier sexually assaulted a newly wed local wife. Naturally her husband skewered him with a stiletto starting an anti-French riot which led to a general rebellion. In this case there were several powerful princes who disliked the French and their allies enough to patronize a rebellion. This became known as the War of the Sicilian Vespers, and was one time when it was good not to [[Princess Bride|go up against a Sicilian]] when death, or love or jealousy was on the line.
* Speaking anything religious or anything that rejects the existence of God(s) is instant [[Flame Bait]] to some atheists and theists respectively.
** This also goes for members of ''different'' religions. Anything supportive of Christianity is likely to be a [[Berserk Button]] for observant Jews and Muslims, for example. Depending on where you are, supporting the wrong religion might actually get you ''killed''.
** And that doesn't just mean by the general public either. In some places, it is the ''law''.
* Taking/touching/eating/jeering someone's
** And especially, taking/hurting someone's significant other. Pressing a bunch of [[Berserk Button|Berserk Buttons]] at the same time is bad enough. Doing it while triggering his/her protection instincts is a ''death wish''. See William Wallace entry below for an example of this in action.
** Also if someone has a celebrity crush.
** Likewise, never insult or threaten [[Mama Bear|someone's]] [[Papa Wolf|children]].
** Don't even think about doing it to their niece or nephew either. You have no chance against ''two'' [[Mama Bear|mama bears]] and [[Papa Wolf|papa wolves]].
** Same rule may also apply to their pets since they're often considered members of the family.
* Don't wake up someone who's sleeping without good reason.
* Don't make fun of a person's name.
* Don't judge or make fun of a person's sexual orientation.
* Don't joke about someone's death, no matter how much you disliked the person.
* Dont say Nigger/ Nigga in front of Black people [[N-Word Privileges|unless you are youself Black.]]
* If you get arrested for a crime against a child, anticipate many other detainees and/or inmates to plot ways to attack you, especially if it’s sexual assault. Many inmates happen to be [[Mama Bear| Mama Bears]] and [[Papa Wolf| Papa Wolves]]. While most don’t get to be with their children depending on the crime they committed, but they won’t stand for the abuse of other children.
* This is often the case for household pet if they realize their human friends are in trouble. There has been a [http://news.yahoo.com/dog-helps-alert-parents-to-abusive-babysitter-164358493.html case] where a family dog had became aggressive towards a baby-sister, that was [[Kick the Dog| abusing an infant child]]. When the owner notice his behavior, they realize that the dog was trying to alert trouble.
== Celebrities ==
* It is forbidden to say anything bad about [[Christopher Nolan]] on any board that has a significant [[Geek]] population. For he is the savior of cinema and is beyond criticism. He is the only current day movie maker who consistently receives this treatment.
* ''[[
* [[Jim Rome Is Burning
** Don't tell him that you like soccer... even if he is being a complete [[Jerkass]] (which he often is) to soccer, or you'll hear a lot of ranting of you, the sport, and its fans that even makes the biggest soccer critics scratch their heads.
* Apparently, insulting Zinedine Zidane's sister may result in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAjWi663kXc serious chest pain.]
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* NEVER call Russell Tavares AKA PyroDice a nerd.
* A good way for an actor to piss off a director is to come to work unprepared (not memorizing lines, choreography, etc).
* Don't mention [[Vince Offer]] around [[Billy Mays
* [[Patton Oswalt]] is a very funny comedian and a very nice man. Do not call him a [[Sad Clown]]. EVER. Do not even insinuate that one of his fellow comedians is a [[Sad Clown]]. You will be verbally castrated.
** Or for that matter rip off his material. If you thought Joe Rogan was cruel to Carlos Mencia...
* Talk about [[Mister Rogers' Neighborhood|Mister Rogers]] with anything other than the utmost respect or the [[Affectionate Parody|gentlest of send-ups]] and prepare to have ''the entire Internet'' [[Dude, Not Funny|rip you to shreds]].
* A guy once pushed ''[[George Carlin]]'''s berserk button during a show and received [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-f-I-FiaY0 a pretty harsh verbal beatdown for it.]
* Never mention Uwe Boll around [[Hideo Kojima]]. It was funny the first time, but it's best not to risk a second strike.
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* [[Cillian Murphy]]'s has been rumoured to be people pronouncing his name "silly 'un".
** According to the pop-up track on the ''[[Fargo]]'' DVD, [[Steve Buscemi]] finds the constant--in fact, ubiquitous--mispronunciation of his name as boo-SHIM-ee a source of neverending annoyance. (It's pronounced boo-SIM-ee; just ignore the C.)
* On one episode of ''[[
* [[Christopher Hitchens]]' was people praising Jerry Falwell.
{{quote|
'''Hitchens''': [[Corrupt Church|Well of course not. He woke up every morning, pinching his chubby little flanks and saying: "I've gotten away with it again."]] }}
** Sean Hannity's is people slagging off Jerry Falwell. Watching him and Hitchens meet is a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doKkOSMaTk4 very worthwhile experience.]
{{quote|
'''Hitchens''': [[Shut UP, Hannibal|If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.]] }}
* There are several films that it's most definitely '''not''' cool to mention in the presence of Harry Knowles, but probably the biggest example is the 30th Anniversary Edition of ''[[Night of the Living Dead]]''. Even to this day, saying anything positive about it is grounds for an instant and permanent ban from the "Ain't It Cool News" website.
* [[Memetic Mutation|Don't]] [[
* Justin Lee Collins, who did a TV show with [[Steven Seagal]], told [[The BBC|Radio 1]]'s Chris Moyles that there are four words you should NEVER say to him - "[[Jean
* [http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/04/hayden-panettiere-dont-call-me-lindsay/#.To9QNdTbiLY It may not be a good idea] to draw comparisons between [[Lindsay Lohan]] and [[Hayden Panettiere]] if you are lucky enough to be in the presence of the latter.
* Never mention Brett Favre's time with the Vikings to a [[American Football|Green Bay Packers]] fan.
* Don't call any of the Backstreet Boys (except Kevin Richardson) a "former" member in front of a Backstreet Boys fan. Or credit an *NSYNC song to them (or vice versa). Or say the two groups sound the same. Or ask if Justin Timberlake was in the group. (The last three also apply to *NSYNC fans.)
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20121212194657/http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20475420,00.html Don't ask Chris Brown about Rihanna.]
* Apparently, don't mention ''[[The Day the Clown Cried]]'' to Jerry Lewis. Even though he doesn't mind mentioning it in his books, interviewers are told not to in interviews. Some guy made this mistake when he was giving a motivational speech in 2011, asking if it'd ever come out. Jerry's response: "None of your Goddamn business!"
* Do '''NOT''', under any circumstances, joke about Phil Hartman's murder in the presence of Jon Lovitz. Andy Dick found this out the hard way when he did this, and in response Lovitz "picked [him] up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose."
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* Given that she doesn't like ''something'' about any of its titles, ''The Thorn'' is Bette Midler's [[Berserk Button]] (and an [[Old Shame]]), and the best way to press it is to even ''attempt'' a release of the film, under ''any'' title. Go ahead, try to create a new title for it that hadn't been used by a previous distributor. She'll sue your ass off for putting it on the market.
* Do not ask [[Harlan Ellison]] where all those jelly beans in ''"Repent, Harlequin!" Said the Ticktockman'' came from.
* If you attempt criticize [[
* If you're at a concert and start a fight, expect both other fans and the performers for calling you out.
== Cultural and Geographical ==
* Any case of [[You Fail Geography Forever]] or [[Global Ignorance]] will cause this:
** Never call a [[New Zealand|New Zealander]] an [[
** Just don't bring up the subject of whether someone from Northern Ireland is British or Irish. The laws of Narrative Causality mean you will always call them the wrong thing and become subject to some really interesting punishments.
** Don't say "shrimp on the barbie" too or tell an Australian that the capital is Sydney unless you think wearing your skin inside out sounds fun.
** [[China]] ≠ [[Japan]]. Calling a Chinese person Japanese or vice versa will get you completely eviscerated, given their history together.
** Which is the real China? The Republic or the People's Republic? Some Taiwanese folks will also take offense when told that [[Taiwan]] is a part of China. To make this worse, some Chinese people will take offense when told that it is ''not''. To further confuse things: there are technically SIX economically distinct Chinas. China, Taiwan, [[Singapore]], [[Hong Kong]], [[Macau]], and [[Shanghai]].
** [[North Korea]] ≠ [[South Korea]]
*** Also, there is only ''ONE'' Korea. In the South it's not that big a deal, but in the North, guess which one is the real Korea...
** Indian ≠ Pakistani. REMEMBER THIS ONE!
** Never call a [[Canada|Canadian]] an [[America|American]]. The results aren't usually as bad as other examples, but depending on who you're talking to... The state of Vermont, besides being its own state and not part of another state, is ''not'' part of Canada. Please stop asking if it is.
** Ironically, never use the word American in front of a Latin American to refer to something from the USA. They usually start to argue over the name of the continent of the same name and bash the country. The word for "American" in our general sense is "''estadounidense''," not just "''americano''."
** Never call an [[Ireland|Irishman]] British.
** Never call a Welsh or a [[Scotland|Scot]] English.
*** Ask a Yorkshireman what part of Lancashire he's from- I dare you.
** Thinking [[Norway]] is the capital of [[Sweden]] in the presence of Norwegians is not advisable.
** Mistaking Sweden for a part of the [[USSR]] was generally a bad idea as well.
** Never call a [[Hungary|Hungarian]] that lives in [[Romania]] a Romanian. Also probably true in every case when one country occupied a part of another.
** Don't call a [[Ukraine|Ukrainian]] a [[Russia
** Don't say by mistake Budapest instead of Bucharest and vice versa.
** Don't call the Romanians Gypsies or comrades and don't try to communicate with them in Russian.
** Due to the one-sided nature of the 'special relationship', the UK's involvement in the Iraq war, the British government's decision to snuggle up to America isn't especially popular amongst the general population. So, if you pass comment about how 'Britain is America,' there will be trouble: The only question is as to whether you'll have committed suicide or merely invoked an angry political rant or flame war.
** In the U.S.,
*** Southerner ≠ [[Deep South|Hick]], Racist, or Stupid.
*** And for that matter, ''never'' insinuate that West Virginians are inbred.
*** Also, Southerners get ''very'' touchy over being called "Yankees" by non-Americans.
*** Don't say West Virginia is part of Virginia, either.
*** Also don't say Kentucky is part of Virginia.
*** Kentucky wishes to remind you that although Colonel Sanders decided to patent his recipe here we give zero shits about KFC. Seriously, we're tired of hearing about it.
*** Kentucky also wishes to remind you that we [[Truth in Television|love]] hearing about how we're all hicks who have no teeth and practice incest. [[Never Heard That One Before|These jokes are always delightfully refreshing to hear.]]
*** Never confuse
** NEVER say to someone from Illinois that you think their state's name is pronounced "Illinoise." And if they're from Springfield, you will unleash a towering fury if you tell them you always thought Chicago was the state capital.
** [[Africa]] isn't a country. Stop saying it.
** It would probably not be the brightest of ideas to refer to a [[Sri Lanka
** It really annoys people from the [[Dominican Republic]] when you mistake them for [[Mexico|Mexican]], or [[Cuba
** Also be careful about calling a Puerto Rican an American. The response is completely unpredictable, and can range anywhere from joy to nothing to [[Unstoppable Rage]].
** It's generally a bad idea to call someone of Hispanic heritage a Mexican.
** Tell a [[Spain|Spaniard]] that he's [[You Keep Using That Word|Hispanic]] and/or a [[Spexico|Mexican]]. Or that they are lazy. Or that [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|their dubbing sucks]].
** [[Latin America|Latin]] and [[South America]] is a minefield.
** Don't compare [[
** Assuming that a random [[
*** Also, Italy has 20 different regions. Believe it or not, not everyone is from Tuscany, Rome, Sicily or Naples.
** Never, ever call [[Turkey|Turks]] "[[Asia
** Never, ever call [[Iran|Iranians/Persians]] "Arabs" unless you want to feel the brunt of a wrath not felt since Darius invaded Egypt.
** Never call [[Finland|Finns]] "Scandinavian". Swedes, [[Norway|Norwegians]] and [[Denmark|Danes]] are Scandinavian. Finns are ''Nordic''.
** Calling an [[Estonia
** Don't say that Palestine is really part of Israel, or the other way around, depending on which side of the [[Arab
** Not everyone from "New York" is from or lives in [[New York City|the city]]. There is, in fact, a state attached to said city.
* Do NOT mock Filipinos or their homeland or [[Hero
* Never praise [[Fidel Castro]] or [[Che Guevara]] in front of a Cuban-American. Most of them will make you suffer for it. Even the old ladies.
** Ditto for praising Ho Chi-Minh in any Little Saigon anywhere in America (displaying the current [[Vietnam
** In fact, praising dictators in general is rather a bad move.
* Never call any particularly patriotic Guernseyman (someone from the island of [[Four Little Tax Havens|Guernsey]] off the coast of Normandy) British or English. Also, should you imply that the massive fish stock depletion by English trawlers is in any way justified or a small problem, then expect to be crucified on the mast adorning the roundabout in the center of town. For those out of the loop in fishing, English trawlers have caused large swathes of Guernsey waterspace to become depleted of fish stock, and forecasts predict that it will take five years without human interference to repair the damage done in a single season. Guernsey is now primarily a finance market, but the majority of fishermen (and it remains one of the largest primary sector industries on the island along with the dairy) are born and bred Guernseymen and are rather pragmatic about anything interrupting their work, e.g. one who has stated that any Greenpeace/PETA/etc boarding his boat will be at the very least thrown overboard, depending on what he has to hand.
* [[All Germans Are Nazis|Never call a German a Nazi]]. [[Fanon Discontinuity/Real Life|Or deny the Holocaust]]. [[No Swastikas|Or wear a swastika in public]]. Or recite something out of ''[[Mein Kampf]]''. Do ''anything'' that makes them look like they're still [[Those Wacky Nazis|Nazis]], and they'll hate you forever and pretend they never liked you. They get VERY pissed, and rightly so.
** Not only Germans, [[Austria
** Also, never suggest they don't regret their past. In general, this is a bad idea in every country: They either don't acknowledge their atrocities at all and thus consider it unnecessary to regret them, or they acknowledge them and give their best to [[The Atoner|atone for them]].
* Do not tell a Georgian that the Georgian language is (or is related to) [[Russia
* Don't call Dutch people ''Deutsch'' and hereby [[Did Not Do the Research|imply they're German]]. Don't ask why it's called Dutch if you live in [[
** Holland only consists of two out of twelve Dutch provinces. Depending on who you speak to, insisting the whole country is called Holland is not a good idea.
* While being a child molester/abuser is bound to be a [[Berserk Button]] for most people worldwide, in [[Jamaica]] it's a health hazard. If you're even remotely suspected of having touched a child inappropriately, or worse, having ''killed'' a child, you'd better pray that the police catch you before the local residents do. At least with the police, you'll get a chance to have your day in court.
** In fact, this is one of the greatest Berserk Buttons in almost any ''English-speaking country.'' While in many countries you can be arrested and jailed, if you're a paedophile in any country who speaks English, not only you will be arrested and jailed, the entire society will make you pay until the ''day you die''.
*** In England the media whipping up a moral panic about paedophiles led to mass lynchings on suspected paedophiles and innocents who the inhabitants didn't like - at least one man was ''killed''.
** It's also never wise to question a Jamaican man's sexuality. In fact, in Jamaica, calling a man a "battyman" (the Jamaican equivalent of "faggot") is one of the easiest ways to invite an ass-kicking.
** Likewise, never tell a Jamaican man to go [[Parental Incest|"do things" to his parents]], ''especially'' if it's his mother. Because [[Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas]].
*** This is also true of [[Italy|Italian]] men. Insult them personally and they are likely to just tell you to piss off and ignore you. But if you even so much as hint at saying something derogatory about their mothers, prepare to have them get right in your face and cave it in. In some regions of Italy this is a ''literal'' [[Berserk Button]] which can have fatal consequences - Sicily and the Naples area have a history of people winding up six feet under because they insulted someone's mother and caused them to fly into an insane rage and beat them to death with their bare hands.
** Farmers in Jamaica's rural districts do not take kindly to praedial larceny. Many a would-be goat or cow thief has gotten beaten and chopped ''en masse'' for his trouble.
** Politics in Jamaica is [[Serious Business]] for most people. There are two major parties, the
*** Expanding on this, the JLP's signature color is green, while the PNP's is orange. Therefore, spray-painting political slogans of either color in the opposite party's territory is strongly ill-advised.
* If you are in the Republic of [[Ireland]] and make reference to [[wikipedia:Derry|this city]] be sure to call it "Derry." Calling it "Londonderry" is the same thing as waving a Union Jack around, and if the person you're talking to happens to have strong political beliefs, you may end up with a bad name for yourself. Most Irish people won't mind (though it will annoy them), but it's best to be on the safe side.
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* Mistaking the Italian language for the [[Spanish Language]] and vice versa is terribly annoying for many Italian/Spanish speakers, no matter how similar the languages actually are.
** Same thing with Portuguese.
* Don't raise only your middle and index finger while keeping your palm to yourself in the presence of an English person. That's the equivalent of [[Flipping the Bird|giving them the middle finger only]], and they don't like it ''at all''. Don't raise
* Any variation on "Why is there a BLACK Entertainment Television but not a WHITE Entertainment Television?"
* It's probably not a good idea to yell [[Godwin's Law|"Heil Hitler!"]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHsUi2Hu4Ug at a Jew from Israel who supports national health care]. Or mock him for complaining about an $8,000 hospital bill. [[Epic Fail|While wearing an Israeli Defense Force t-shirt]].
** It's a pretty bad idea if you're talking to ANY Jewish person. Comparing anyone to Hitler is, for good reason, considered a grave insult.
* [[wikipedia:Sorbians|Sorbians]] don't like it at ALL when people claim ''[[
* Don't ever tell a New Yorker that you like Papa John's or Domino's Pizza, ''at all''. If you are lucky you will only be given a [[Your Mileage May Vary|well deserved]] verbal beat-down.
** And Lord help you if you don't observe [[Serious Business|proper pizza eating etiquette]]. [http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-june-1-2011/me-lover-s-pizza-with-crazy-broad Jon Stewart has a very good example on the subject.]
* Do not praise either side of the [[Useful Notes/Arab-Israeli Conflict|Arab
* Non-Native Americans, do ''not'' wear anything resembling a [[Useful Notes/Native Americans|Native American]] warbonnet or headdress in front of an actual Native American.
** In fact, just don't do it at all - because some non-natives also know how disrespectful it is, even if you don't, and some will call you on it.
* Do not call
* Don't spell "colour" as "color"
* You should generally be careful when making fun of [[
* If you want to go to Mexico:
** If you speak Spanish, [[Spell My Name
** Never use the word ''chilango'' (a pejorative term for someone from Mexico City) to anyone ''outside'' Mexico City, especially in the Northern states, ''[[Too Dumb to Live|if you value your life.]]''
** Do not ''insult'' in English against a Mexican. Mexico have a border with the U.S. and many Mexicans can speak or understand English and [[Bilingual Backfire|you can be insulted in English too.]]
** Don't call a Mexican a [[NEET|NiNi]], unless you want to pick a fight against one. "Nini" is a shortened version of "'''ni''' estudian '''ni''' trabajan", which refers to people who don't study or work.
* When referring to someone from the Dominican Republic, you are only supposed to say "Dominican," ''not'' "Dominican Republican." It's a minor mistake, but it drives some Dominicans crazy.
*
== Games and Sports ==
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** Speaking of soccer, do you want to gain a massive [[Hatedom]] or start a massive [[Flame War]]? Just simply say you prefer [[American Football]] over Soccer (either politely or bluntly [[For Massive Damage]]), and [[Internet Backdraft|watch what seems to be the entire internet try and hunt you down]].
** Actually, South Koreans call it soccer as well and it's a very popular sport over there.
** One exception to the berserk button where the sport is popular is [[
* [[Tabletop Games|Tabletop gaming]] fans are infamous for this. Whenever a new [[Dungeons
** And best to avoid implying all RPGs are D&D.
*** Don't try suggesting that D&D is Satanic in nature, either.
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** And whatever you do, should you be a player, ''do not screw around during a Hillsborough memorial under any circumstances'' or you will find yourself on the transfer list.
** Don't insult the disaster at all. Otherwise most football fans, regardless of the club they support will be pretty pissed off.
* Don't mention General William Tecumseh Sherman or the [[wikipedia:
* [[General Ripper|George S. Patton]] really hated it whenever people mistook his ivory-handle revolvers for ''pearl''-handles.
{{quote|
* If you value your life, and happen to be in Nomandy c. 1066, do NOT call William the Conqueror "William the Bastard," or refer to his maternal grandfather's occupation (he was a [[Old Shame|tanner]]) anywhere near earshot of him. He will kill you in many [[Nightmare Fuel|slow, painful, and humiliating ways]].
* [[Julius Caesar]] was known for being open about his [[Bi the Way|sexual]] [[Depraved Bisexual|conquests]] (during his triumphs, his troops sang ribald songs that amounted to "lock up your daughters and your sons -- Caesar's in town and his tackle's out!"). However, people who brought up the subject of rumors that he was "the woman" in an affair with the King of Bythnia were not treated warmly...
* Mention the [[wikipedia:Tuck rule game|Tuck Rule]] to any [[American Football|Oakland Raiders]] fan. Let's just say you don't wanna be around when [https://web.archive.org/web/20110129103625/http://i.cdn.turner.com/sivault/multimedia/photo_gallery/0810/halloween.trick.or.treat/images/001080776.jpg these guys] get riled up. The reason being, the Tuck Rule unfairly cost the Raiders a shot at the [[Super Bowl]].
** The above also applies to the [[wikipedia:Immaculate Reception|Immaculate Reception]].
* Dr. Otto von Habsburg, like his dynasty in general, is an amiable person. But if one were to insult his father and/or defame the Pope ''in front of his face,'' God help you.
** When Ian Paisley ''did exactly that'' to John Paul II, he got his reply straight. And he was ''well into his 70s'' at the time.
** Case in point, this bit from an interview:
{{quote|
Reply: '''NONSENSE!!''' }}
* In the [[wikipedia:2010 Manila hostage crisis|2010 Manila hostage crisis]], the [[Police Are Useless|Manila Police]] [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero|did a "great" job]] for arresting the perpetrator's brother ''who tried to negotiate with him''. If the police hadn't done that, it's a lot less likely the perpetrator would have gone berserk, causing unnecessary casualties.
** And for that, the term '''SWAT''' has a number of assorted meanings in the Philippines which could become [[Berserk Button|berserk buttons]] for rabid fans of law enforcement: '''[[Fun
* [[Genghis Khan]] believed that messengers and envoys had the right to safety when in a foreign place. This was a time period where it was quite common to maim, torture, and execute these folks just for bringing messages of peace. If you did this to Genghis Khan's envoys, though, heaven help you. Heaven help your entire [[wikipedia:Mongol invasion of Khwarezmia|country]], for that matter.
* Don't mention [[Jane Fonda]] within earshot of a Vietnam veteran. Or in earshot of someone whose father was a Vietnam veteran.
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* The Marquess of Queensbury once stormed into the home of [[Oscar Wilde]] with a bodyguard and called Wilde a "bugger." Wilde then threw them both out of the house.
* Jesus didn't like people selling stuff in holy temples. [[Understatement|He didn't like that very much at all]].
* The Roman Noblewoman Lucretia was raped by a [[Royal Brat|local Etruscan prince]]. Whereupon she [[Honor Before Reason|committed suicide]]. The citizens of Rome were so angry at this that they revolted and ran the prince out of town. After this they went on to destroy the Etruscan civilization and went from their to found [[The Empire]].
* ''[[The Bible/Source/Judges#19|Judges]]'' includes the story of a woman who was [[Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil|gang-raped]] and murdered while her husband slept. The husband took the body home, [[Squick|cut it into 12 pieces]] and sent them around the country to publicise the crime. The result was an army marching on the land - and when the inhabitants refused to hand over the perpetrators they killed everyone, burned the city and several nearby towns, and vowed never to let their daughters marry anyone from that tribe.
== Human Health and Sexuality ==
* Never tell an [[Asexuality|asexual]] that sex is an important part of most relationships.
** Don't call out [[Asexuality]] as an attempt to hide one's real sexuality,
* Don't tell someone who identifies as [[Bisexuality Tropes|bisexual]] that [[No Bisexuals|bisexuals don't exist]]. And, if they're kind enough to correct you instead of pretending you no longer exist, don't do it a second time.
** Don't say that dating someone of the opposite sex means that they're now straight, and don't say that dating someone of the same sex means that they're gay.
*** Don't say that someone who identifies as bisexual, queer, etc. is gay simply because s/he is attracted to people of the same gender. Especially to their face.
** How about just don't insult/make fun of someone's sexuality, PERIOD?
** Don't tell someone who claims to be [[
** Also, don't tell someone who's bisexual that they're just a [[Anything That Moves|slut]] and [[Depraved Bisexual|trying to hide it]].
* Whatever you do, NEVER refer to a straight parent as a "breeder" unless you're prepared to be verbally ripped a new one. At the least, you're likely to be called a self-righteous hypocrite and have it pointed out that if it weren't for two "breeders" you wouldn't be alive. And in using such a term, you'd be giving up all rights to declare someone a bigot or being prejudiced when they turn around and refer to you by every epithet in the book relating to your gender and sexual preference... or even cold cock you flat out.
** It might be acceptable if the parent in question [[Incredibly Lame Pun|eats uranium and defecates plutonium]].
* Conversely, don't tell someone without children that they "need" to have a family. Maybe they don't want kids. Maybe they can't have kids. Either way, it's really none of your business. Don't tell someone who has many children that they're "polluting the earth with their carbon footprint" or ask them why they had so many. You don't take care of those kids. They do, so keep your mouth shut.▼
** Don't tell someone who has many children that they're "polluting the earth with their carbon footprint" or ask them why they had so many. You don't take care of those kids. They do, so keep your mouth shut. If you do this in a "developed" country, you're also asking for a lecture on the nation's birth rate and energy use - and that's if they're feeling nice.
▲* Conversely, don't tell someone without children that they "need" to have a family. Maybe they don't want kids. Maybe they can't have kids. Either way, it's really none of your business.
* If a vegetarian/vegan is respectful of your food choices, return that respect. And unless a person specifically says they support [[Animal Wrongs Group|PETA]], do not assume they do. Many vegetarians/vegans just want to sit down and enjoy their food without being given crap or being in anyway associated with a group that makes it hard for them to state their preferences without having to disclaim, "But I swear, I'm not insane, judgmental, and/or hypocritical."
** Along the same lines, one of the easiest things you can do to piss someone off is to criticize their diet. Maybe they eat muesli for breakfast every day, or have an addiction to toasted sandwiches, or don't like eating cold food. Just leave it. Telling someone they're [[Picky Eater|fussy]] will probably induce severe anger, particularly if they have allergies.
** To those vegetarians/vegans who enjoy lording over the health benefits they might be getting/how much better they are than those who eat something with muscle: someone's going to hit you, and everyone else will applaud.
** Don't tell someone on the Atkins diet that they're going to give themselves kidney failure or a heart attack or whatever. Considering how many people have ''improved'' many of the conditions that other people are cockfire sure the diet is going to cause or worsen... yeah.
*** It can also be a bad idea to vocally assign moral judgement to what a person's eating. It doesn't matter if a person is fat and eating a large biscuit (cookie), thin and eating a small salad, or average-sized and either eating nothing but junk food or vegetables; the point is, a person's health cannot be told by his or size nor by what they happen to be eating during one particular point in time. There are healthy fat people (some of which would never touch a biscuit), unhealthy thin and average-sized people (some of which hardly ever touch vegetables and fruits), and people who have health problems that have nothing to do with their dietary choices. So, for pity's sake, let a person eat whatever they're eating in peace; if you feel an absolute need to voice your judgements, buy a damn diary or talk trash about them to your beloved pet. Unless the pet is a talking parrot, in which case you'll want to be real careful not to let said person around it.
* Want to piss off a diabetic? Tell them that they should stop taking insulin because that article you read on the internet says that [[All-Natural Snake Oil|herbal medication]] can cure them.
** That's actually a good way to piss anyone with a health condition off. Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, even mental/neurological illnesses get this treatment.
*** Apparently this was a button to not press on the [[Dragons' Den]] with a snake oil salesman getting chewed out for making such bold claims.
** Speaking of diabetics, ''never'' imply to a Type 1 diabetic that they could have avoided becoming diabetic if they'd watched their diet more closely <ref>The most common theory is that it's mostly genetic</ref>. For that matter, don't tell that to a Type 2 diabetic either, because it's overall just a dick thing to say.
* Don't tell someone with a chronic illness or other health condition that it's "all in your mind" and "you have to WANT to get better!"
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* Do ''not'' call somebody "retarded" or "autistic" just because they're [[Cloudcuckoolander|weird]]. Especially if A) the person actually ''is'' autistic, or B) you're [[I'm Standing Right Here|right next to someone]] who ''is'' autistic. If you're lucky, you'll either be ignored or given a short lecture on actual autism. [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|If you're not lucky or keep doing it...]]
** Going a little further on this, don't insist just because someone is a bit quirky that they '''''must''''' have a mental disorder or illness of ''any kind''. One, it's just plain inconsiderate. Two, it really shows that [[Insult Backfire|you know nothing]].
** Don't use any mental disorder as an insult. People suffering from genuine ones often find it hard to seek or continue treatment because of the stigma, and if you're adding to that, them (or their friends) taking out their frustration on you would be one of the ''better'' possible outcomes.
* DO NOT assume someone with autism is naturally aggressive. Frustration is a common trait for pretty much anyone and autistic people are no different. Think about all the times you were ever frustrated. It’s common for people to snap and autistic people aren’t any different there either. [https://web.archive.org/web/20140219062504/http://www.pbs.org/pov/neurotypical/autism-myths-and-misconceptions.php In fact, someone with autism who resorts to violence makes the news because it’s rare that it does]. Ever heard of people getting upset to the point of violence? Well, this has happened to people who don’t have autism or any other neurological disabilities.
* Don't ever ever ''ever'' tell the mother of a premature baby how she is lucky she doesn't have to deal with crying, sleepless nights or the like. In fact, unless you know first-hand what it's like to have a premature baby, '''''shut up!!!'''''
* Don't tell the parent of a child with ADHD that "ADHD doesn't exist" or their child "just needs some more discipline." If you dare to do this, prepare for a verbal beatdown. Don't tell that to someone who ''has'' ADHD either.
* It's not a very good idea to tell someone who has [[Asperger's Syndrome]] that it doesn't exist or that they're really socially retarded [[Basement Dweller|basement dwellers]] who self-diagnosed themselves. Also the term "Ass Burgers" isn't that witty.
* Don't imply in front of people who have disabilities and their advocates that having a disability is a [[Fate Worse Than Death]].
* [[Dude, Not Funny|Don't]] '''''[[Dude, Not Funny|ever]]''''' [[Dude, Not Funny|joke about rape]] [[What an Idiot!|in front of a rape survivor]]. If you sincerely want to have your ass handed to you on a platter, though, go right ahead.
** And if the victim doesn't a) beat you to death or b) have a breakdown and/or lose all the progress they've been making up until now, know damn well that their friends will be more than happy to rearrange your body parts.
** And while we're on the subject, don't ''ever'' tell someone they deserved to be raped because they were dressed provocatively, stayed out too late with the person, etc. Not only is it simply not funny, but it also makes you a [[Jerkass|heartless bastard]], whether or not you're serious.
** If by luck you find a [[Child by Rape| someone was the result of rape]], it's best NOT TO FUN of the matters since it's not their FAULT for being born for their mother opt out of abortion. There are rape victims who ended up either becoming [[Mama Bear]]s or they had [[Daddy Had a Good Reason For Abandoning You| gave up the child up for adoption]].
* If you happen to believe that it is acceptable to punish a child
* Want to tick a single mother off? Go ahead and tell her it's her fault she's single. Or, [[Sarcasm Mode|better yet]], tell her she's doing her child(ren) "emotional damage" by not having a father figure around for them. Or that she should've been more careful. Knock yourself out...if she doesn't do it first.
* Telling someone that [[You Need to Get Laid|they need to get laid]]. Apart from being [[Precision F-Strike|fucking]] rude, it might be [[Schmuck Bait|the last thing you say with all of your teeth in your mouth]]. ''Especially'' ''[[Asexuality|asexuals]]''.
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* Never mess with someone who has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For most, the berserk button is relatively specific. For people with obsessions (for instance, germs or order) it could be summed up as "Don't touch me." or "Don't touch my stuff." For people with compulsions (for instance, counting) it's "Don't interrupt me." Most people only have mild cases though, so as long as you don't repeatedly do the same thing after we've told you to stop it, we can get over it.
* Never pretend to have a seizure or hit someone and call it a "muscle spasm" around people who actually have seizures or muscle spasms. Not always being in control of their limbs does not mean they can't slam your head into a wall.
* If you ask an unusually tall person what the weather is like "up there", the response you should expect (as recommended by the UN) is to be told it's raining, and then spat on. If you ask again, you might find it's raining bricks.
== Media ==
* Don't bring up [[Ret-Gone|the Linux guy]] or the [[Biggus Dickus|"Jackie incident"]] on the ''[[Ctrl
** [[Fanwork Ban|Don't make fanart]] of Tim's characters or you'll be the subject of a [[Frivolous Lawsuit]]: [http://dradis.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/79/79dfe1a9555dafeefbef099c1b1790ec3dd75bf8.jpg "Well, you fucked up."]{{Dead link}}
* Do NOT tell a [[Pixar]] fan that their favorite movie is [[Animation Age Ghetto|just kid fodder]]. In fact, this is a pretty bad idea when speaking to animation fans as a whole.
* Insulting [[Anime]]/[[Manga]] has been widely considered a suicidal move, ''especially'' amongst groups of preteen-to-teenaged girls.
* Don't tell anyone who is an Internet relationship that said relationships don't work. Or, [[It Got Worse|worse]], say that they are "not real." Do so and you enter a world of pain.
* Do not request Rule34 of ''[[Yotsuba&!]]''. You have been warned.
* And speaking of things the entire internet ''will'' destroy you for, do not abuse a cat. Any animal abuse will get at least some people berserk on you, but harm a [[Cute Kitten|cat]] in any way, and there will be no corner of cyberspace you can hide in without being destroyed.
** And if you should kill a cat intentionally and post it online (such as the case that gave us NEDM), the internet will descend upon you like the wrath of Ceiling Cat or Longcat.
* Programmers have quite a few. Mention the wrong programming language or the wrong development environment around one and you're going to die.
** Merely mentioning that you make use of the goto statement in certain programming languages could easily cause an [[Unstoppable Rage]] with some programmers. It's probably safer to ask programmers what they think of the goto statement first, although even mentioning it at all could be risky to your health.
*** In ''[[
*** It also works the other way round. Tell any veteran programmer (those from the age of IBM OS/370 fits the trope, but anyone brought up with archaic versions of BASIC will also suffice) that GOTOs are evil and be prepared to be torn apart like a rag doll in the hands of a wild beast while having snippets from ''[http://www.pbm.com/~lindahl/real.programmers.html Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal]'' screamed at you. <ref>GOTOs on early BASIC implementations is the only way you can move around in memory and thus are remembered fondly by vets. Later versions implemented GOSUBs, but GOTOs were far more easier to use and made the code more meaningful since you can never tell which part of a program a RETURN statement will take you to. And oh, if anything, Visual Basic is BASIC [[In Name Only]]</ref>.
** Mentioning that you prefer using tabs over spaces, or vice versa, when writing source code is likely to push many programmers' berserk buttons. [[Internet Backdraft|Doing this on the Internet]] and going after programmers that do not share your preferences, is not a good idea.
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** You can also start a flame war just by letting people know you use iTunes...
* Don't wear [[Green Day]] paraphernalia around actual punks.
* O hi guys, I just heard [insert title of a film, probably from [[The Eighties
* Want some quick fun? Show someone who's into typography or design something, ''anything'', printed in Comic Sans or Papyrus. [[Hilarity Ensues]], and by hilarity, I mean "bloodshed".
** [http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/demotivational-posters-comic-sans.jpg Even smallpox withers next to the disease known as 'Comic Sans'.]{{Dead link}}
* While ''[[Firefly]]'' fans have assorted buttons, depending on personal tastes, possibly the easiest and most universal (Well, other than saying "It just wasn't that good.") would be to tell one "[[I Liked It Better When It Was Called]] ''[[Outlaw Star]].''"
** And for good measure, the latter is best said while making a trollface.
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* Never say that Spanish dubs are better than Mexican dubs or vice versa in front of a Mexican/Spaniard, unless you want someone insulting the crap out of you.
** Same goes with practically ''any'' dubs, for that matter.<ref> And by any dubs, we mean not only English dubs, but also Spanish, German, Italian, French, Finnish, Egyptian, Arabic, African, Chinese, Korean, and yes even Japanese dubs</ref>.
* November 2010: Do not steal someone's article off of the internet; that's generally understood to start. But if the author discovers the theft and contacts you to ask for recompense, do not tell her that anything published on the internet is [[Public Domain
* Internet discussions about ''[[Twilight (
** Calling Edward a fag should probably be a worse [[Berserk Button]] for gay people than for ''Twilight'' fans.
*** Also, fans who assume that haters are "hopelessly retarded" and obviously cannot comprehend how "awesome" ''Twilight'' is are either trolls or are very, very, very naive. And they will be attacked regardless.
* Don't ''ever'' say anything about [[
* The kid from the ''Greatest Freakout Ever'' YouTube videos has quite a few of these - mainly having his sexuality questioned in any way, being betrayed in an online game, oh yeah, and losing his ''[[World of Warcraft]]'' account. And once you've hit his [[Berserk Button]], who knows what he'll break next.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130704013835/http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/swarm.htm The Swarm] is a web forum where everyone has the same unexpected [[Berserk Button]].
* If you're in the presence of an ''[[
* Tell a [[Danny Elfman]] fan he doesn't write his own music. I ''dare'' you.
* Looking for a way to lose teeth without paying a dentist? Call ''[[The Hunger Games]]'' the next ''[[Twilight (
* ''The Hunger Games'' itself is a [[Berserk Button]] to some fans of ''[[Battle Royale]]'' (although interestingly, many who've bothered to read both tend to find Suzanne Collins not guilty of plagiarism).
** PS: By all means enter a discussion about ''The Hunger Games'', book or movie, and declare it to be nothing but a ripoff of ''Battle Royale.'' Fans [[Sarcasm Mode|love such replies, have never heard them before]], and will in no way either press the "Ignore" button or leave you barbecued with all the flaming that ensues.
* If you know a little kid who happens to practically be in love with a character and insists that character is real, don't try to argue and tell the kid he or she is wrong unless you're their parent. Parents might be able to get away with it, but anybody else will have a toddler meltdown on their hands.
* Plagiarism sets off anger in any writer. Considering how hard it is to get things published -- or just to write in general -- having someone steal your words is unforgivable.
== Politics ==
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* Not only is [[Barack Obama]] a berserk button on the right, praising him to a person on the hard left is also guaranteed to get you a verbal beatdown. Alternatively, be a progressive and critical of Obama. Both of these are due to the large [[Broken Base]] the man has on the Left.
* Do not praise Henry Kissinger abroad. Seriously, the man has a whole bunch of countries, even in the first world, that he regularly avoids like the plague.
* Do not accuse people, high-profile or otherwise, of being communists or fascists. Things will get VERY ugly VERY quickly.
** Don't accuse a Democrat of being a socialist in particular. Even socialists hate this.
* Say that Communism is a good idea on paper in front of a Libertarian. (Or vice versa.) [[Schmuck Bait|Go on, I dare you]]. [[Pulp Fiction|I double dare you, motherfucker]]!
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* Not only is praising [[Ayn Rand]] a [[Berserk Button]] to the left, insulting her in front of a right-winger is likely to make them go Incredible Hulk on yo' ass.
* Never ever talk about Mexican politics<ref>unless you know a lot about the subject and have read a lot of Mexican history</ref>. [[Rule of Cautious Editing Judgment|PERIOD]].
* The Falkland Islands and Gibraltar are British, until their inhabitants decide otherwise. Suggesting they belong to Argentina/Spain around most Brits will result in either a knuckle
== Miscellaneous ==
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* In the U.S. at least, watch what you say about their military, especially around loved ones of soldiers and Marines who've died while serving.
** Unfortunately, the Westboro Baptist Church people don't seem capable of figuring out that trash-talking the military folk is likely to have some pretty far-reaching repercussions...
* [[Punctuated!
* Do not, under any circumstances, say that [[Critical Research Failure|atheism, humanism, or evolution are responsible for Hitler]].
* Never insinuate to any sane Muslim person that they believe in a [[Religion of Evil]] or that they are responsible for 9/11 and other terrorist attacks. Or insinuate that anyone's religion is a [[Religion of Evil]], really.
* Telling an ex Christian that they were [[No True Scotsman|never really
* Don't drive a Toyota or any other foreign car around the Detroit area.
* Don't admit in front of a professional chef that you use any canned fruits or vegetables or any frozen foods or mixes in your cooking.
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* Call an astronomer an astrologer... and he might just make you [[Incredibly Lame Pun|see stars]].
* To some people, any pun is an [[Incredibly Lame Pun]], and they won't let you forget it.
* If you tell a woman to [[Stay in
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