Bored of the Rings: Difference between revisions

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[[File:BotR-2_3953.jpg|frame|''[[Fan Service|"Do you like what thou dost see?"]]'' [[Covers Always Lie|she cooed...]]]]
 
{{quote| ''[[German Engineering|Grundig]] [[wikipedia:Blaupunkt|blaupunkt]] [[BFG|luger]] [[Dance Sensation|frug / Watusi]] snarf [[Black Speech|wazoo!]]''<br />
''[[Richard Nixon|Nixon]] [[wikipedia:Dirksen Senate Office Building|dirksen]] [[Yes but What Does Zataproximetacine DO|nasahist]] / [[wikipedia:Charles Rebozo|Rebozo]] [[Oddly-Named Sequel 2: Electric Boogaloo|boogaloo]].'' }}
 
{{quote|''"'''This ring, no other, is made by the Elves'''<br />
'''''Who'd pawn their own mother to get it themselves.'''<br />
''Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop,<br />
''This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.<br />
''If broken or busted it cannot be remade.<br />
''If found, send to Sorhed. (The postage is prepaid.)"''|Inscription on The One Ring}}
 
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* [[Black Cloak]]: The Nozdrul
* [[Black Speech]]: The language of Fordor and Sorhed; parodied by being essentially doggerel constructed from 1960s pop cultural references
{{quote|''Grundig blaupunkt luger frug<br />
''Watusi snarf wazoo!<br />
''Nixon dirksen nasahist<br />
''Rebozo boogaloo.''|Inscription on the One Ring}}
* [[Brawn Hilda]]: Eorache
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* [[Crystal Ball]]: The ''mallomar'', which turns out to be nothing more than a [[Magic 8-Ball]] with a holographic display
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: Used several times, such as:
{{quote| Arrowroot looked with darkened face at these ruins of a once fair land. "Look at those ruins of a once fair land," he cried.}}
* [[Deus Ex Machina]]: Liberally employed for humor's sake. Gwahno the eagle is actually labeled "Deus Ex Machina Airlines".
* [[Dirty Coward]]: ''Everyone'', except, maybe, Eorache
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* [[The Eeyore]]: Goddam
* [[Elegant Weapon for a More Civilized Age]]: Subverted:
{{quote| In his hand he carried an ancient and trustworthy weapon, called by the elves a Browning semi-automatic.}}
* [[Elves vs. Dwarves]]: And how.
* [[The End of the World as We Know It]]: Threatened result of Sorhed regaining the One Ring.
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* [[Fourth Wall Observer]]: Bromosel
* [[Functional Magic]]: Thoroughly and enthusiastically averted. Anything presented as magic is usually just a lame trick or worse.
{{quote| '''Goodgulf''': Insult not the White Wizard, for I have many powers. [[Pick a Card|Here, pick a card. Any card.]]}}
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Most of the characters. It doesn't help.
* [[Giant Flyer]]: Gwahno the Giant Eagle
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* [[Have a Gay Old Time]]: Played with when the party are attacked by a group of narcs, the leader of which is wielding a large faggot. You'd think it'd mean a bundle of wood, until the "faggot" cries out "You dieth, G.I!"
** Similarly:
{{quote| "This is indeed a queer river," said Bromosel, as the water lapped at his thighs.}}
* [[Healing Hands]]: Subverted by Arrowroot, who during the siege of Minas Troney shows up in blood-spattered surgical garb, and who appears to have killed Faraslax while "treating" him in order to get him out of the way.
* [[Heroic Fantasy]]: Averted by possibly the first parody of the genre.
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* [[Hoist by His Own Petard]]: Bromosel dies when he trips and impales himself on his absurdly pointed shoes.
* [[Hooked Up Afterwards]]:
{{quote| Of the ballhog and Schlob, little was heard either, but local gossips reported that wedding bells were only centuries away.}}
* [[Hurricane of Puns]]: The endless plant/vegetable puns that lace every sentence uttered by Birdseye, Lord of the Vee-Ates.
* [[I Have Many Names]]: Stomper -- AKA "Arrowroot son of Arrowshirt, True Son of Arrowhead of Araplane" -- actually uses this phrase word-for-word; other characters also have many names, few of them complimentary.
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* [[Left Justified Fantasy Map]]: Parodied.
* [[Line in the Sand]]: As the Army of the West approaches the Gates of Fordor, many start to desert. Finally Arrowroot decides to shame them into being courageous.
{{quote| '''Arrowroot''': "Peoples of the West! The battle before the Black Gate of Sorhed will be one of few against many; but the few are of pure heart and the many are of the filthy. Nevertheless, those of you who wish to cringe and run from the fight may do so to quicken our pace. Those who still ride with the King of Twodor will live forever in song and legend! The rest may go."<br />
It is said that the dustcloud did not settle for many days after. }}
* [[Loads and Loads of Characters]]: A surprising number for so short a book.
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* [[Parody]]: And how.
* [[Parody Magic Spell]]: As evidenced by the page quote, there's quite a few of these.
{{quote| "Hocus pocus, in loco parentis, Jackie Onassis, Dino Di Laurentis..."}}
* [[Parody Names]]: Pick a character, nation or city from Tolkien, and you will find a parodic counterpart, such as Minas Troney for Minas Tirith.
* [[The Password Is Always Swordfish]]: Parodied by the lengths Goodgulf goes to while trying to open the gates to Doria, before noticing the doorknob...
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* [[Vagueness Is Coming]]: Goodgulf tries to warn Dildo with a series of portentous statements, going from "Evil Ones are afoot in the lands" to "There is a dog in the manger." It takes several rounds of these, until Goodgulf is practically screaming "Doom is here!", before Dildo catches on.
* [[Volleying Insults]]: Gimlet and Legolam frequently trade lame epithets.
{{quote| "Elf-dog," hissed Gimlet, retrieving his beard.<br />
"Pig of a dwarf," suggested Legolam.<br />
"Toymaker."<br />
"Gold-digger."<br />
"Flit."<br />
"Wart." }}
* [[Weapons Grade Vocabulary]]: Goddam's war story.