California: Difference between revisions
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=== Major Cities ===
==== Northern and Central California (NorCal) ====
* '''Fresno:''' A giant freestanding suburb of one million people located in the San Joaquin Valley, near Yosemite National Park. Unremarkable except for its large immigrant population (Armenian, Hmong, and Mexican) and dingy yellow sky.<ref>This protective layer of smog prevents some sunburn, so it does prove useful</ref> Generally considered a hellhole, but the rent's cheap. Bulletproof vests are recommended to the intrepid researcher. Is also the fifth largest city in the state, and the largest city in America not served by an interstate highway, not that it matters anyway since [[Butt Monkey|it]] ''[[Butt Monkey|is]]'' [[Butt Monkey|Fresno]]. Due to wind currents, a large amount of Chinese pollution, of which there is nominal, ends up in Fresno. Not that you would notice. Outside of California, expect to encounter its name [https://web.archive.org/web/20120825004044/http://www.irs.gov/file/content/0,,id=105690,00.html around tax season,] [[Schmuck Bait|if you're filing in the western US]].
* '''Sacramento:''' The state capital and county seat [[Department of Redundancy Department|of the Sacramento County]]. Known colloquially as [[Embarrassing Nickname|Sactown]], which pretty much sums up all you need to know. The city's official nickname is "The City of Trees". Also home to the California State Railroad Museum in Old Sacramento, Sutter's Fort, the Tower Bridge, and the California State Fair. The area is also one of the least seismically prone regions of California, though it floods occasionally. Sacramento has an NBA team (the Kings) and a ziggurat. Does ''your'' state or provincial capital have a ziggurat? We thought not.
* '''[[San Francisco]]:''' The financial and legal center of the West Coast and the fourth largest city in the state. The cultural heart of Northern California, well known for its progressive politics, highly educated population, and [[Gayborhood|the size of its LGBT population]]. Its hills, iconic bridges, Victorian architecture, cable cars, and the surrounding natural beauty of San Francisco Bay all around it lead to it regularly being regarded as one of the most beautiful cities in America, if not the most beautiful. Also, it's a county ''as well as'' a city. By order of His Imperial Highness Emper or Joshua Norton I: ''Whoever after due and proper warning shall be heard to utter the abominable word "Frisco", which has no linguistic or other warrant, shall be deemed guilty of a High Misdemeanor, and shall pay into the Imperial Treasury as penalty the sum of twenty-five dollars.'' San Francisco is the second most densely populated major city in the country after New York City, with nearly 800,000 people living in only 49 square miles, and is also one of the most expensive to live in. Its perpetual cold fogginess [[SoCalization|often surprises visitors.]]
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