Console RPG Cliches 169 to 192: Difference between revisions

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#'''[[Final Fantasy VI|World of]] Mild Inconvenience:''' ''The devastating plague, noxious gas, planet-obliterating meteor or other [[After the End|large-scale disaster]] that led to the death of millions will affect your party (and your party's friends and family members) in no way whatsoever, save that [[Putting the Band Back Together|a few party members may become lost and you can find them later]].''

#'''[[Final Fantasy VII|Golden Chocobo]] [[Too Awesome to Use|Principle]]:''' ''There will be at least one [[Infinity+1 Sword|supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon]] or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.''

#'''[[Sorting Algorithm of Weapon Effectiveness|Flow of Goods Rule]]:''' ''The quality of goods in the world is dependent upon the shop's distance from the final dungeon. It doesn't matter if the [[First Town|town you start in]] has a huge thriving economy and is the [[Capital City|center of world trade]], it will always have the game's worst equipment; and even if that village near the end is isolated and has only three people in it, it will have the game's best equipment.''

#'''[[Master of Unlocking|Master Key Rule]]:''' ''Any and all [[Locked Door|locked doors]] that the characters encounter will be unlocked by the end of the game.''

#'''[[It's Going Down|It's Not My Department,]] [[Tom Lehrer|Says Wernher Von Braun]]:''' ''All space stations, flying cities, floating continents and so forth will without exception either be blown up or [[Colony Drop|crash violently to earth]] before the end of the game. ''

#'''Poetic Villain Principle ([[Final Fantasy VI|Kefka]] Rule):''' ''All villains will suddenly become [[Poetic Serial Killer|poets]], [[Nietzsche Wannabe|philosophers]], and/or [[Large Ham|dramatic actors]] when a) [[Establishing Character Moment|they first meet the hero]], b) [[Just Between You and Me|they are about to win or their evil plan is finally ready]], c) [[Wham! Episode|some major event in the game is about to begin]], d) [[Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner|right before the final battle]], and e) [[Facing the Bullets One-Liner|right before they die]], when they will frequently be feeling generous enough to reward you with [[Fauxlosophic Narration|some homespun wisdom about making the most of life while you have it]]. ''

#'''Adam Smith's Corollary:''' ''No matter how thoroughly devastated the continent/planet/universe is, there's always some shopkeeper who survived the end of the world and sits outside the gates of [[The Very Definitely Final Dungeon|the villain's castle]], selling the most powerful equipment in the game, like nothing ever happened.''

#'''The Long Arm of the Plot:''' ''Any bad guys, no matter how far they run, will always end up in one of two ways by the end of the game: [[Karmic Death|obviously dead,]] or [[Heel Face Turn|on your side.]] [[Black and White Morality|There is no in-between]].''

#'''[[Bishonen Line|In Your Face, Jesus!]]:''' ''Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an [[Power Gives You Wings|angelic winged figure]] with background music remixed for [[Ominous Latin Chanting|ecstatic chorus]] and [[Ominous Pipe Organ|pipe organ.]]''

#'''The Moral Of The Story ([[Lunar|Ghaleon]] Rule):''' ''Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right [[White-Haired Pretty Boy|long-haired prettyboy]] and beating the crap out of him. ''

#'''[[Bonus Boss|Weapon Rule]]:''' ''There's always [[That One Boss|a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat]] than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, [[Awesome but Impractical|whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless]] because [[Bragging Rights Reward|by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more]].''

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