Console RPG Cliches 1 to 24: Difference between revisions
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#'''[[Doomed Hometown|"No! My beloved peasant village!"]]:''' ''The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.''
#'''[[The Dulcinea Effect|Thinking With The Wrong Head]] ([[Lunar|Hiro]] Rule):''' ''No matter what they are accused of or [[Mysterious Waif|how mysterious their origins]], the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl they met three seconds ago.''
#'''[[Orphan's Plot Trinket|Cubic Zirconium Corollary]]:''' ''The aforementioned mysterious girl will be wearing a [[MacGuffin|pendant]] that will ultimately prove to be the key to either [[Saving the World]] or [[The End of the World
#'''[[Logan's Run]] [[Competence Zone|Rule]]:''' ''RPG characters are young. [[Kid Hero|Very young]]. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have [[Instant Expert|skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience]], and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.'' (See also [[Most Writers Are Adults]])
#'''[[Parental Abandonment|Single Parent Rule]]:''' ''RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The [[Missing Mom|missing]] [[Disappeared Dad|parent]] either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also [[The Plot Reaper|meet an awkward end just after the story begins]], thus [[Conveniently an Orphan|freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations]].''
#'''[[Only One Name|Some Call Me...]] [[Some Call Me... Tim|Tim?]]''' ''Good guys will only have [[First-Name Basis|first names]], and bad guys will only have [[Last-Name Basis|last names]]. Any bad guy who only has a first name will [[Heel Face Turn|become a good guy]] at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be [[All There in the Manual|mentioned in the manual]] but they will never be referred to in the story.''
#'''[[Nominal Importance|Nominal Rule]]:''' ''Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"|referred to as a part of a possessive noun]] ("[[Chrono Trigger
#'''[[Video Game Settings|The Compulsories:]]''' ''[[Seen It a Million Times|There's always]] [[Lethal Lava Land|a fire dungeon]], [[Slippy
#'''[[Science Is Bad|Luddite Rule]] (or, [[George Lucas]] Rule):''' ''Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the [[Schizo
#'''[[Bag of Spilling|Let's Start From The Very Beginning]] ([[Final Fantasy X
#'''[[Impoverished Patrician|Poor Little Rich Hero]] ([[Thousand Arms|Meis]] Rule):''' ''If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.''
#'''[[Anime Hair|The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God]] ([[Final Fantasy VII|Cloud]] Rule):''' ''The more [[Improbable Hairstyle|outrageous his hairstyle]], the more important a male character is to the story.''
#'''[[Thief|Garrett's]] [[Kleptomaniac Hero|Principle]]:''' ''Let's not mince words: you're a thief. [[Swiss Cheese Security|You can walk into just about anybody's house]] [[Your Door Was Open|like the door wasn't even locked.]] You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down ([[8-Bit Theater
#'''Hey, I Know You!''' You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:
#'''Hey, I Know You, Too!''' You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists:
#'''Hey, I Know You, Three!''' Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player characters (NPCs):
#'''[[Chrono Trigger
#'''[[Heroes Prefer Swords|"Silly]] [[Final Fantasy VIII|Squall]][[Heroes Prefer Swords|, bringing a sword to a gunfight..."]]''' ''No matter what timeframe the game is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a [[Cool Sword|sword]] for a weapon. (Therefore, you can identify your antagonist pretty easily right from the start of the game just by looking for the other guy who uses a sword.) These swords will be [[Guns Are Worthless|far more powerful than any gun]] and often capable of [[Sword Beam|distance attacks]].'' (See also [[Katanas Are Just Better]])
#'''[[Unusually Uninteresting Sight|Just Nod Your Head And Smile]]:''' ''And no matter how big that [[BFS|big-ass sword]] is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their possessions, and demands to know if they've seen a [[Black Cloak|black-caped man]]. [[Seen It All|People can get used to anything, apparently]].''
#'''[[Final Fantasy VII|Aeris's]] Corollary:''' ''Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a [[Simple Staff|rod or a staff of some sort]].''
#'''[[MacGyver]] [[Improbable Weapon User|Rule]]:''' ''Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using [[Weapons Kitchen Sink|gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets]]
#'''O Brother, Where Art Thou? ([[Grandia II|Melfice]] Rule):''' ''If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will [[Aloof Big Brother|also be male]] and will [[Cain and Abel|turn out to be one of the major villains]]. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be [[
#'''[[We Buy Anything|Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress]]:''' ''Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will [[Lost Forever|never see the item again]] no matter what.'' (Related to [[We Buy Anything]]. Not related to [[Adam Smith Hates Your Guts]]... but he does, and would like you to know that.)
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