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Console RPG Cliches 49 to 72: Difference between revisions
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Back to [[Console RPG Cliches 25 to 48]]
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#'''Maginot Line Rule:''' ''It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who [[Tempting Fate|brag that the Empire would never dare attack them]], and would be [[Nothing Can Stop Us Now|easily defeated if it tried.]] (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new [[Forgotten Superweapon|superweapon]].)''
#'''[[Pamphlet Shelf|Short Attention Span Principle:]]''' ''All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.''
#'''[[Planet of the Apes]] Rule:''' ''All cities and countries have [[Precursors|ancestors that were wiped out]] [[Science Is Bad|by their technological advances]]''.
#'''[[Inn Security|Insomnia Rule:]]''' ''A "free stay at the inn" is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.''
#'''[[Miser Advisor|The Bling-Bling Thing]] ([[Lunar 2 Eternal Blue|Lemina]] Rule):''' ''No matter how much money and treasure you acquire, the [[
#'''[[Xenogears|I Don't Like Gears Or Fighting]]:''' ''There are always [[Humongous Mecha|giant robots]]. [[Instant Awesome, Just Add Mecha|Always.]]''
#'''[[Cardboard Prison|Houdini's Postulate]]:''' ''Anyone, whether they are in the player's party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by [[Chekhov's Gunman|a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day]] or by an [[Deus Ex Machina|unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base]], NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will [[Villain Exit Stage Left|break out all by themselves]] because they're such [[
#'''[[Final Fantasy VI|Zeigfried's]] [[Red Herring|Contradiction]]:''' ''Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.''
#'''[[We Sell Everything|Natural Monopoly Rule]]:''' ''No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see [[Convenient Questing|You Always Travel In The Right Circles]].) [[Karl Marx Hates Your Guts|All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price]]''.
#'''[[Global Currency|But They Don't Take American Express]]:''' ''Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species
#'''[[Somebody Else's Problem|Apathy Principle]]:''' ''Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.'' (see also [[Apathetic Citizens]], [[Dying Like Animals]])
#'''[[Beauty Equals Goodness|The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule]]:''' ''a) Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or [[Freaky Is Cool|so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet]]. b) Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a [[Good Scars, Evil Scars|prominent scar across the face]] or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero. c) Any female character who is [[Red Right Hand|ugly, malformed, misshapen, or physically disfigured is evil]], since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see [[Male Gaze|Know Your Audience]].''
#'''[[Goldfish Poop Gang|Henchman Quota]] ([[Grandia (video game)|Nana, Saki, and Mio]] Rule):''' ''One of your antagonists will have [[Quirky Miniboss Squad|three lovably incompetent stooges]] whom you fight [[Recurring Boss|over and over again]]. Although they're trusted with their boss's most important plans and equipment, they will screw up repeatedly, [[Let's You and Him Fight|argue incessantly]] [[Enemy Civil War|among themselves]], [[Loose Lips|blab secret information]], and generally only come out victorious when their job was to be a [[We Need a Distraction|diversion or a delaying tactic]]. A high point of the game will come when the True Villain reveals himself and you're able to [[Talking Your Way Out|convince the stooges you're all on the same side]]. They won't help you out any more successfully than they helped the antagonist, but at least you won't have to fight them any more.''
#'''[[Sealed Evil in a Can|Thousand Year Rule]]:''' ''The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land [[Vicious Cycle|every thousand years]] on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, [[Neglectful Precursors|heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again]] for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that [[It's Up to You|you're the one who's going to have to do it.]]''
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#'''Seventh Law of Travel:''' ''When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to [[Talk to Everyone|talk to all the other passengers and the captain.]]''
#'''[[Short Cuts Make Long Delays|Eighth Law of Travel]]:''' ''There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.''
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game
[[Category:Console RPG Cliches 49 to 72]]
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