Could Say It, But...: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

|'''Bob Parr''', ''[[The Incredibles]]''}}

 

 

Sometimes used as an insult, especially in politics. For example, "I refuse to stoop to the level of calling my opponent a corrupt, greedy [[Slime Ball]]."

 

 

See also [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] or [[I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You]], for those bits when this is not intentional. Also related to [[I'll Pretend I Didn't Hear That]]. Do not confuse with [[I Would Say If I Could Say]]. May result from the asker using [[Politeness Judo]].

 

{{examples|I wish I was able to let you know the following examples...}}

* ''[[SHUFFLE!]]'' has a version of this. Ama was/is a volunteer test subject used in an incredibly high risk magical experiment. (She volunteered because she felt she had no reason to live.) It failed, and she was, incidentally, thrown into the human world, where she fell in love, had a child, happy ending etc. One day, the Gods (and overseers of the experiment) happen to walk past her almost 2 decades later, and after staring at her for a while, continue walking, talking loudly enough for her to hear:

{{quote|'''Forbesii:''' "Someone you know, Eustoma?"

* Rerugen from ''[[Saga of Tanya the Evil]]'' advised Tanya to study Dacian (implying a possible war with Dacia), even though he made it clear to Tanya why he couldn't tell him why Tanya was being deployed in that region.

 

* The comic book series of ''[[The X-Files]]'' had an example of this. Scully was doing an autopsy on a person who died under supposedly miraculous circumstances. A woman and her crippled child came to the hospital and asked to see the body of the "saint."

{{quote|'''Scully:''' I can't let you in. However, I am going for coffee in a few minutes, and, well, maybe I'll ''forget'' to lock the door.}}

* In the finale of the six-part ''[[Spider-Man]]'' story ''The Assassin Nation Plot'', [[Captain America]] and [[Silver Sable]] try to get security clearance for Spidey on a mission they believed would lead them to the mastermind behind the plot, using plans obtained from a captured mook, but a general at the Pentagon wouldn't allow it, as Spidey's identity couldn't be confirmed. Partially through the story, Spidey finds them and told them he believed the plans given were a ruse to distract them; however, Cap isn't able to defy orders to check on that. He does, however, tell Spidey where the mook's cell is, saying "Maybe I'll re-question him later". Then he and Silver leave him alone. (In ''the Pentagon'', no less.) Spidey doesn't know whether that was Cap's way of making an informal suggestion or not, but he take the opportunity, and it pays off.

 

* In the ''[[Glee]]'' fic ''[http://archiveofourown.org/series/8386 Story of Three Boys]'', when [[Original Character|Casey]] is in the hospital following his [[Driven to Suicide|suicide]] [[Tear Jerker|attempt]], a nurse tells Dave, Kurt, Puck and Finn that she can't let them go to Casey or tell them anything specific about his condition because they aren't his parents or legal guardians. She ''can'', however, tell them what would generally happen if some hypothetical patient tried to commit suicide in the way Casey did.

{{quote|'''Nurse:''' If this person weren't breathing, they may have to intubate, but that's hopefully not the case in this hypothetical situation, especially since he was breathing on his own in the ambulance. Hypothetically.}}

* Played with in an odd manner (inverted, maybe?) in [http://lparchive.org/Grand-Theft-Auto-San-Andreas-(Screenshot)/Update%2040/ this] ''[[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' fic:

{{quote|''I could lie and say I walked out of there, walked away from her and her crazy death fetish. I could lie and say the sex we did have wasn't fantastic. I could lie and say the next morning when I woke up and she was pressed up against me, that I wasn't as disgusted in myself as I was in her.''}}

* In the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic]]'' fanfic ''To Be A Better Stallion'', Rainbow Dash has a run in with Amethyst, an old friend of Prince Blueblood who happens to be married to one of the Wonderbolts. Amethyst decides to quell Rainbow Dash's disappointment that she's just there on personal business and there's not going to be a Wonderbolts show by telling Rainbow "There's a non-disclosure agreement forbidding me from telling you that you're being considered for a Wonderbolts tryout. So I'm not going to tell you. Because that would be wrong.”

 

* In ''[[The Incredibles]]'', Bob circumvents his insurance company's obstructive attitude by using this method to help his customers, as demonstrated by the page quote. He even whispers "Pretend to be upset" to the old woman as she leaves.

* Adrian Cronauer ([[Robin Williams]]) does this in ''[[Good Morning Vietnam]]'' with a non-approved news report, and is yanked off the air for doing so.

* Spock's response to the ''Enterprise'' being decommissioned in ''[[Star Trek VI]]'': "If I were human, I believe my response would be 'go to hell'. If I were human."

* In ''[[Zodiac (film)|Zodiac]]'', Inspector Toschi shares privileged police information with Robert Graysmith in this way.

* In ''[[Life Is Beautiful]]'' Guido declares his affection to Dora:

* In ''[[Iron Man 2]]'', Tony's speech at Stark Expo amounts to "I'm not saying that '''I'M TOTALLY AWESOME.'''"

* In ''[[Outbreak]]'', [[Morgan Freeman]]'s character gets on the mike and tells [[Dustin Hoffman]]'s character exactly how to interrupt a live bombing run, under the guise of telling him the dire consequences of doing so.

 

* ''[[Discworld]]'' does this a lot.

{{quote|'''Magrat''': "When's this play going to be, then?"

'''Fool''': "Marry, I'm sure I'm not allowed to tell you. The duke said to me, he said, don't tell the witches that it's tomorrow night."

'''Magrat''': "I see."

'''Fool''': "But meet for sherry beforehand at seven-thirty, i'faith." }}

{{quote|"Do not use the weapons in the antiques cabinet-- no, not that one, the other one."}}

** This trope is often subverted when it's tried on Mustrum Ridcully, who's usually too blunt and honest for this sort of underhanded thinking, or Fred Colon, who's merely confused by it.

{{quote|"We certainly would not be able to help you if you were to leave your coaches around the backside of the University at, say, eight o'clock?"}}

** It's in ''[[The Science of Discworld]]'', too. For various reasons, the wizards need books from the future. The Librarian can get them, but he isn't supposed to. Rincewind talks him into it and translates his answer as follows (paraphrased):

{{quote|"He says he's just going to get the books and pile them up here, ok? And then he's going to leave the room and you're not to look at them while he's gone, because he won't know you're doing it. And if he coughs before he comes back in it'll just be because he has a cough and not for any other reason, ok?"}}

{{quote|"And I thought, is the human brain a turtle just because it is armored in bone? A parasite just because it lives off blood from other places? Well, maybe some people I could name but won't, like Juan Harleman of the Venusian Tea and Coffee Growers, Inc., has parasite turtles for brains...."}}

 

* The Fourth Doctor in ''[[Doctor Who]]'', while mocking a [[Bond One-Liner]]: "I suppose you could say the yolk's on him if you were the sort of person who said that sort of thing, which fortunately I'm not."

* Monica in the ''[[Friends]]'' episode "The One With The Butt": "Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the old Monica would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush... But I'm not gonna do that."

'''Buffy:''' Most importantly, [[And That Would Be Wrong|it would be ''wrong''.]] }}

* ''[[Scoundrels]]'': Cheryl asks Hope what her sister is up to. Hope indignantly protests that Wests don't rat each other out... then, when Cheryl gives in, adds, "Which is why I can't tell you to check her underwear drawer."

{{quote|"{{smallcaps|This is not Susan's affair. Which is why, you'll recall, that I expressly forbade her from interfering. Besides, it's against the rules.}}"

"Yeah, but you know how she is for disobeying rules, Master."

* Panelists on ''[[QI]]'' sometimes try to escape forfeits this way - it works ''sometimes'', mostly determined by [[Rule of Funny]].

 

* "The Presidents" by Jonathan Coulton. Ends with "''I don't like to make political statements...''" {{spoiler|and subverts it by remaining silent for the last few beats.}}

** In a 2008 performance in Seattle (while promoting John Hodgman's ''[[More Information Than You Require]]''), scant days after [[Barack Obama]] won the presidency, he used that space for a cheer celebrating Obama's victory.

''But I think that God's got a sick sense of humoor }}

 

* [[Real Life]] example on the Internet: "In before [[Memetic Mutation|overdone meme]]."

** Which, of course, makes "In before X" an overdone meme...

* In [[Gilbert and Sullivan]]'s ''[[The Mikado]]'', Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum are in love, but cannot kiss because Yum-Yum is engaged to Ko-Ko. Instead, they sing "Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted", in which they demonstrate, physically, precisely what it is they won't do.

 

* There's an entire plot line in the [[BioWare]] RPG ''[[Jade Empire]]'' that's kicked off with a speech exactly like this. Minister Sheng is unable to act against the Lotus Assassins searching for part of the amulet, so he gives the Spirit Monk the key to the dam while pretending that it's an accident.

* During one sequence in ''[[Knights of the Old Republic|Knights of the Old Republic II]]'', while controlling a protocol droid, you can (and eventually must) convince another droid that it has already violated its "ethics programming". The following ensues:

* In ''[[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]]'', TEC gives Peach a quiz. The first few questions are of things Peach and the player know already, but soon, he starts asking about Grodus' [[Evil Plan]] as a roundabout way of telling her about it without telling her.

 

* Recurring gag on ''[[Questionable Content]]'': "I could make some sort of obvious '[[Who Are You and What Did You Do to X?|who are you and what have you done with the real]] Pintsize' crack, but it'd just cheapen the moment."

* In ''[[Tales of MU]]'', Sooni assures the residents of her dorm that she isn't going to use the protagonist's demonic heritage against her in their floor's election for school Senate. Just a few seconds earlier, she had implied that said half-demon wanted to eat their relatives.

* In ''[[Vexxarr]]'' Carl [http://www.vexxarr.com/archive.php?seldate=032312 will remember what it refused to remember].

 

** Another Simpsons incident that could be argued as a subversion: "Legally, I can't officially promise you a big cash settlement... but off the record, I promise you a big cash settlement."

* Bender did this in ''[[Futurama]]'' too, protesting against the sale of Popplers by telling people about the wide variety of tasty sauces you shouldn't eat them with.

* There is a phenomenon (which may merit its own category) called "Kidding on the Square", in which you [["Just Joking" Justification|"jokingly"]] insult or attack someone in a manner which nonetheless makes it clear that you actually mean it. Popularized by Al Franken, among others.

 

* The notoriously cheap president of the Florida Marlins baseball team, David Samson, savagely criticized the Seattle Mariners for signing their star outfielder, Ichiro Suzuki, to a five year, $90 million dollar contract extension, claiming that it would be the death of baseball's salary structure. (This despite the fact that Ichiro's contract was not the most expensive in the sport either in terms of yearly salary or lump sum; that Ichiro was by far the most talented, popular, and marketable player on Seattle's squad; and that Ichiro would have almost certainly received even more had he hit the open market with more bidders to drive up his price.) Bill Bavasi, the general manager of the Mariners, replied to Samson in the papers:

{{quote|"My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is '[[Precision F-Strike|Fuck Dave Samson]]', then don't say anything at all. So I'm not going to say anything at all. Is my mother the greatest or what?"}}

* During the 2008 primaries, candidate Mike Huckabee showed a group of reporters a negative ad targeting one of his rivals, and announced that he had decided not to air it. The ad probably got much more attention than if he'd just run it normally.

** This sort of thing is relatively common in politics, though this example is worse than most. Remember, buying ad time costs money, but if the news airs it for you, it's free.

* Toughbook's ads saying "Legally, we can't say..." followed by some feature of their mil-spec laptops.

* How [[Bruce Sterling]] proved his chops when he spoke at a conference of early computer game developers:

* One lawyer joke goes like this: After a lawyer's objection is overruled, he asks the judge, "Your Honor, what you do if I called you a senile old fool?" The judge replies that he would hold the lawyer in contempt. The lawyer then asks, "What if I only thought it?" The judge replies that, as long as he only thought it, there was nothing he could do. The lawyer nods, and says, "Alright, then. For the record, I ''think'' you are a senile old fool, Your Honor."

** There's an old baseball story about a player who actually pulled this on an umpire after the umpire made a call he didn't like. Predictably, the umpire threw him out of the game.

** Similar warnings against beer making could be found on Pabst Blue Ribbon malt syrup.

* The 1870 volume ''[http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/26/on-the-records-a-well-preserved-roadmap-to-perdition/ The Gentleman's Directory]'' included this [[Blatant Lies|rationale]] for its extensive listing of [[New York City]] [[The Oldest Profession|brothels]]:

** Even security experts occasionally don't see this trap. E.g. an antivirus runs suspicious files in an emulator and its coders [//web.archive.org/web/1/bugs.chromium.org/p/project-zero/issues/detail?id=769#c2 presumed that non-state changing requests can be safely passed to OS as is] (it's faster). [[What Could Possibly Go Wrong?]] OS is Windows and APIs to which they pass humble read-only requests include both ''reading'' keyboard state, and ''reading'' attributes of files that aren't necessarily local, but may be URL somewhere on Internet. The result: malware only needs to change directory (which checks its attributes) to "<nowiki>http://www.WeHostHomePages.com/~Im_11_yrs_old_and_what_is_this/more-cat-pictures(</nowiki>''your_key_presses_go_here''<nowiki>)/</nowiki>", the remote server only needs to log request for a non-existent location as an error... and that's how a hacker got in an easily filtered text file all the passwords you typed while the file you have downloaded, but never started ran again and again.

** Another exfiltration trick falling under this uses the fact that error messages are a debugging mechanism, thus designed for the developer's convenience and not always subjected to very strict security measures. After all, it would just report a ''failure to'' serve any useful data and echo the request that caused it (which the same user have sent in the first place), right? But in combination with certain other generic and excessively user-friendly functionality it may say too much. The target machine receives a request as XML which amounts to an overcomplicated form of something like "give me <nowiki>./public/herp-derp#(contents of /etc/passwd)</nowiki>", and answers with "Error! We cannot give you <nowiki>./public/herp-derp#[actual contents of /etc/passwd]</nowiki> (No such file or directory)" (see [//christian-schneider.net/GenericXxeDetection.html here and in references]).

{{examples|...but I'd get in trouble if I did.}}

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]

[[Category:Truth in Television]]

[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]

[[Category:Self-Demonstrating Article]]