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* David Wong gets one for [http://www.cracked.com/article_17061_5-things-you-think-will-make-you-happy-but-wont.html 5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't)], what are those five things? {{spoiler|Wealth, Beauty, Genius, Fame, and Power}}. The best
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▲* David Wong gets one for [http://www.cracked.com/article_17061_5-things-you-think-will-make-you-happy-but-wont.html 5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't)], what are those five things? {{spoiler|Wealth, Beauty, Genius, Fame, and Power}}. The best, [[Take That]], ever.
** Let us not also forget Wong's [http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable]. Most of his stuff qualifies, actually, but those two stand out above all the rest.
*** They both end with a reassuring message. The first one tells you what will make you happy ({{spoiler|friendship, altruism, and religious practices}}), and the second tells you how to not be miserable, so they do both end on a high note.
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* Seanbaby's fourth of July celebrations.
* Doubling as a [[Funny Moments (Sugar Wiki)|Funny Moments]], [http://www.cracked.com/article_15660_the-ultimate-war-simulation-game.html?wa_user1=4&wa_user2=Tech&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended The Ultimate War Simulation], depicting what an actually realistic war simulation would be like.
* John Cheese [[Some Anvils Need to Be Dropped|dropping hard the lesson]] that [https://web.archive.org/web/20131122011800/http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-bits-advice-that-dont-make-sense-until-its-too-late_p2/ going to therapy isn't bad] and [[You Are Not Alone|feeling depressed doesn't make you a freak.]]
* Number one in [http://www.cracked.com/article_19513_the-6-most-poorly-thought-out-attempts-at-insurance-fraud.html this] would give Rasputin a run for his money in the [[Rasputinian Death|impossible to kill department]]
* Luke McKinney's article [http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-archies-gay-friend-proved-internet-can-do-good/?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=News&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module How Archie's Gay friend Proved The Internet Can Do Good]. It is a two-page [[Take That]] at the American Family Association and One Million Moms. It is awesome:
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* Robert Brockway's [http://www.cracked.com/blog/why-ebert-is-wrong-in-defense-of-games-as-art/ Why Ebert Is Wrong] article. Both for its slap to the 'no game can compare to a masterpiece' argument, as well as his perfect summation of why gamers care that games be considered art:
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