Cracked.com/Funny: Difference between revisions
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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-fly-wall-look-at-cracked.com-christmas-party/ A Fly on the Wall Look at the Cracked.com Christmas Party]. Especially when [[Seanbaby]] makes the scene:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/most-horrifying-writers-room-ever The Most Horrifying Writers Room Ever].
* [http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html 100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines].
* I nominate [[A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20180823174235/http://www.cracked.com/video_18156_a-trailer-every-academy-award-winning-movie-ever.html
* [http://www.cracked.com/video_18120_the-sex-offender-shuffle.html The Sex Offender Shuffle].
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130329102626/http://www.cracked.com/funny-2858-dongs/ Cracked Topics] on dongs.
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* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130827070201/http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_143_if-every-website-got-dramatic-movie-adaptation_p2/ Cracked's list of posters for possible movies based on websites.] {{spoiler|[[TV Tropes|Guess which site was #1.]]}}
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/revisiting-old-school-text-adventures-as-a-jaded-modern-gamer/ Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer]
* Most of [http://www.cracked.com/article_16841_the-7-most-retarded-criminal-excuses-all-time.html The 7 Most Retarded Criminal Excuses of all Time] is hilarious, but number 1 in particular stands out: Someone tied pot around their dick and tried to smuggle it into prison. When the police found it, he said that it was simply "a misunderstanding".
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'''Better Excuse''': "I'm actually an undercover agent of the DEA. I'm on a mission to find homosexual pot dealers by tying pot around my dick. Its called fishing, and its ''awful''". Hey, at least they'd give you some points for creativity. }}
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/frosty-snowman-declares-war-war-christmas Frosty the Snowman declares War on the War on Christmas]. Crosses so many lines it looks like [[The Order of the Stick
* I nominate [http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.] Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_18464_the-17-most-unintentionally-hilarious-propaganda-posters.html The 17 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Propaganda Posters] mights seriously be the funniest thing this troper has ever read. Number 13 in particular. . . "If this were a smoking ad, you wouldn't be reading this right now because your dad would have died of lung cancer when he was 11."
** Number 13 is the image for [[Public Service Announcement]]. Now try to look at it the same after reading their interpretation: "If the ghost of chalk Hitler is so pleased by people driving alone, why does he look so terribly sad? Maybe because the stone cold pimp in the driver's seat just made him watch while his dick played hopscotch with the ghost of chalk Eva Braun."
** And Number 1. It's a poster trying to promote peace between Taiwan and China... [[Distracted
* [http://www.cracked.com/craptions/craption/1888 Michael Bay Presents: Fishing].
* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19088_6-brilliant-inventions-that-look-like-gag-gifts.html 6 Brilliant Inventions That Look Like Gag Gifts]. The first item on the list is Powdered Water. The author mentions a classic joke email about [[Dumb Blonde]] Inventions, that features things like "solar-powered flashlight," "pedal-powered wheel chair" and, of course, "powdered water". But after the entry explains that powdered water, or rather "dry water", is a really useful thing, the author remarks "So we guess we should go looking for a pedal-powered wheelchair now?". Guess what's the next item on the list.
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* Anything involving [[Eldritch Abomination|Popsicle Pete, the herald]].
* [http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_40_if-every-famous-person-got-what-they-deserved/ If Every (famous) Person Got What They Deserved]: the #3 entry? {{spoiler|PRESIDENT [[Bruce Campbell]]}}.
** Speaking of celebrity presidents: [https://web.archive.org/web/20140131194326/http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_276_24-things-other-countries-suspect-about-life-in-america_p2/ 24 Things Other Countries Suspect About Life in America], the #9 entry: {{spoiler|PRESIDENT [[Gary Busey]], screaming at the top of his lungs while wearing a cowboy hat and playing Sudoku on presidential letterhead}}.
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-baffling-food-mascots-all-time/ Seanbaby's explanation] for the Kool-Aid Man's [[There Was a Door|wall-smashing]] tendencies: "He's a creature made entirely out of tap water, sugar and a pouch of carcinogens. His body can't decide whether it wants to evacuate its liquid, run as fast as it can or die, so he just charges the nearest building in a desperate attempt at all three."
** Also, from the Burger King entry:
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'''Burger King:''' {{smallcaps| YOU'VE BEEN DEAD FOR HOURS.}}
'''Man:''' What is this?
'''Burger King;''' {{smallcaps| GIVE ME YOUR TEETH.}} }}
* From [http://www.cracked.com/article_17573_7-fatal-injuries-that-people-somehow-survived.html this article], starting with #6:
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** After that,
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** In # 5, we have:
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** # 3
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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/9-self-defense-gadgets-your-mugger-will-find-hilarious/ 9 Self Defense Gadgets Your Mugger Will Find Hilarious ].
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19446_the-6-most-wtf-special-edition-comics-ever-released.html The 6 Most WTF Special Edition Comics Ever Released]
** Dear fucking lord, that encyclopedia is hilarious. To the people that doubt the hilarity of it, it's [[Trope Maker|source of the trope]] [[And That's Terrible]].
** Special mention should also go to #5 the Knight Gallery. There's nothing quite as amusing as looking at Batman's Fashion Journal.
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-guide-to-the-modern-moustache/ 10 Mustache Styles That Must Be Stopped]. Especially number two, the 'Finger Mustache'. The [[Running Gag]] of this article is that people don't actually look as cool as they think they do when wearing these mustaches. This represented by showing one picture of what you think you look like (which shows an image of a cool or stylish person) and what you actually look like (accompanied by an image of a geeky or creepy person). In number two, it shows the picture of the Finger Mustache for the 'what you think you look like' category. For the 'what you actually look like' category, {{spoiler|it shows a picture of a douche. Literally.}}
* The Robert Brockway article "5 Terrifying Things Movies Don't Tell You About Los Angeles", which is basically about how much Los Angeles sucks, includes a brief section on how jobs require you to have pretty headshots even when you're not going to be seen by the customers and Brockway posts a few of said headshots of his coworkers. Now, [https://web.archive.org/web/20131026085611/http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-terrifying-things-movies-dont-tell-you-about-los-angeles_p2/ roughly half the comments are about how attractive Soren Bowie is] , with many people apparently forgetting about the entire rest of the article.
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-absurd-inventions-in-history-alcoholism/ Liquor] is the other lesbian mother of invention
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-best-kinds-monkeys-drunk-column/ The 7 Best Kinds of Monkeys: A Drunk Column]
* [http://www.cracked.com/video_18386_if-breakup-ballads-were-more-realistic-and-way-crazier.html Cracked gives us the greatest break-up ballad ''ever''].
* 6 ''[[
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'''Astronaut 2''': Weird.
''(rumbling, then a monster emerges)''
'''Moon Monster''': '''''REEEAWWHKRRR!''''' ''(snatches up one of the astronauts in its talons)''
'''Astronaut 2''': Sweet! SWEET! [[Worth It|This is why I became an astronaut! TO DIE LIKE THIS]]! ''[[Great Way to Go|EXACTLY LIKE THIS]]!'' }}
** Hell, the [["Not Making This Up" Disclaimer|actual quotes from the episodes]] are ridiculous:
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'''Superman''': THIS IS A JOB FOR SUPERMAN! ''(flies off)''
'''Apache Chief''': ''([[Death Glare|indignant glare]])'' }}
*** "Colossus, a Giant of Giants" summed up in two panels:
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'''Superman''': Is that, like, live? We're in a beard?! ''Who's filming this?!'' Haha this is fucking stupid. We should be ''dead''.<br />
'''Apache Chief''': Hold on. I think I have a plan...<br />
''([[Smash Cut]] to Apache Chief wrestling Colossus in space)''<br />
'''Apache Chief''': '''[[Crazy Awesome|INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!''' }}
** A comment sums up all of it up perfectly:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19637_the-5-craziest-war-stories-all-happened-same-ship.html The 5 Craziest War Stories (All Happened on the Same Ship)]. The entire thing, but ''especially'' #4 an #3.
* One from the forums; both the [https://web.archive.org/web/20141223125123/http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/41555/the-ballad-douche-quadbike
* Most of DOB's stuff is gold, but "[[Exactly What It Says
* [http://www.cracked.com/article_18906_7-shockingly-dark-origins-lovable-childrens-characters.html This article] discusses the [[Carnivore Confusion]] of [[McDonald's|the Hamburglar]] living in a world where hamburgers are people.
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19298_7-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-pregnancy.html This article] about pregnancy has its [[Nightmare Fuel]] watered down by some funny image captions. Like the one about "cheeseburger crotch" which shows a horrified woman holding a cheesburger with this caption:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_17366_7-wtf-military-weapons-you-wont-believe-they-actually-built.html 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built] on the efficacy of Russian tanks; "Dammit, they found our one weakness; ''anything that isn't snow."''
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[[Category:Web Original/Funny]]
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▲[[Category:Funny]]
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