Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Difference between revisions

{{quote|"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob."}}

* In ''[[The Warriors (film)|The Warriors]]'': "I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a Popsicle!"

* In ''[[Best in Show]]'', the Larry Miller's character attempts to talk his son down from the roof by stating, "I will gouge your eye out with my thumb! I shit you not, my friend!" In the previous scene, Miller revealed that his job is trying to talk jumpers down, but "they all jump."

* ''[[The Horribly Slow Murderer With the Extremely Inefficient Weapon]]''. [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin]].

* In Ralph Bakshi's ''[[Wizards]]'', Avatar explains to the newly-reformed Necron 99 (now renamed "Peace"), that if he betrays the party, Avatar will do something that will, "Take twenty years to kill you, and you'll be screaming for mercy in the first ten seconds."

* All OVER ''[[Pineapple Express]]'':

{{quote|'''Robert''': You assholes do exactly as I say, or I will take you outside and fuck you in the street!

* In ''[[Deuce Bigalow|Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo]]'', the titular character has a misunderstanding with a bartender which results in the following masterpiece deadpan one-liner from Norm Macdonald:

{{quote|'''Bartender''': Ahh, perhaps you don't understand. Ahh... if you don't pay me now, I'm going to uhh... take this swizzle-stick, and uhh... I'll be shoving that right up your pee-hole. }}

{{quote|"I'm going to have you wrapped in the U.S flag and burned personally by the President, in high-octane American gasoline!"}}

* This is actually hinted at in the [[Dark Knight Trilogy]]. I ''really'' don't want to know what the Joker uses that potato peeler for...

**** And then the student became enlightened.

** A two-parter from <s>Sam Vimes</s> John Keel in ''[[Discworld/Night Watch|Night Watch]]'': "...you try it on one more time and you'll need to use both hands to pick up a spoon and you'll need to pick up a spoon, Ned, 'cos of living off soup by reason of having no damn ''teeth''!"

*** The Watch, who ''do'' know what a figgin is, are very confused when their prisoner runs away screaming after an innocent offer of a snack.

*** According to the history books, Mad Lord Snapcase was "hung up by his figgin" when he was overthrown some time before the current timeline. "This meant that either the language had changed a little over the years, or there really was some horrifying aspect to suspending a man alongside a teacake."

*** Turns out Josh is rather unimpressed, leading to one of his many CMOF.

** Leo gets in on the action when CJ arranges for a presidential photo op with a goat:

'''Leo:''' You're never gonna know where they are or if you got them all out. Gonna lay their eggs right in the glove compartment. }}

* ''[[The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]]'' had a memorable moment with Uncle Phil [[Locked in a Room|Trapped In An Elevator]], trying to borrow a [[Jerkass]]'s cellphone to reach Aunt Viv (who is in labour at the moment):

* ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' has this memorable example from the flavor text for the card [http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=6104 Hatred]:

{{quote|"I will flay the skin from your flesh and the flesh from your bones and scrape your bones dry, and still you will not have suffered enough!"}}

 

 

== Web Comics ==

* In Joff's ''[[Life and Death]]'' on [[Drunk Duck]], Death tells an almost-victim that if he ever tells anyone about meeting Death, he'll kill him. The man replies, "Weren't you going to kill me some day anyway?" and Steve says, "Yes, but I'll kill you AFTER I remove your organs ''with a damp sponge''."

* ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'' has more than a handful.

** Belkar Bitterleaf was threatening a horse that had tackled him when the party was attacked. "I owe you a world of hurt, horse, and I always pay my debts. One day, when you least expect it, you're going to wake up as glue. And not the good stuff either, the cheap white paste that the weird kids eat!"

'''Dave:''' I'm already '''in''' an oil drum full of shaved gerbils and Jell-O. }}

* From ''[[Picatrix]]'': [http://www.picatrix.net/index.php/2008/04/25/page-188/ "And the third one, ooooooh, I still daydream about that one. About how much I would love to disembowel him with a rusty spoon."] The dreamy sparkle in Winnie's eyes as she says this (about her horrible luck with boyfriends) is [[Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant|truly disturbing]].

** "DO NOT FUCK WITH ME, LITTLE MAN! My patience has long since been taxed and I will not hesitate to pull the oily rag you call a soul from your body, set it aflame, and jam it back down your gullet!"

** "Yes, Jhim, very mad. In fact, I think if you'd done that, I'd have had to do something to show you how displeased I was, like finding where you sleep tonight, stake you through the heart with my penis and ejaculate steaming white hate into your blood."

** [http://dizzy.pestermom.com/?p=thcomic25 "Mind your own business if you want to remain not on fire!"]

* ''[[Queen of Wands]]'', [http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20060115.html here]:

'''Kestrel:''' As serious as a hemophiliac in a razor factory. }}

* ''[[The Adventures of Dr. McNinja]]'''s Dan McNinja does this in the last frame of [http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/17p12 this page] to {{spoiler|a crew of pirates who have just informed him that they have kidnapped his son}}:

* From [http://sodiumeyes.com/2010/06/07/traumatic-reading/ Sodium Eyes], a strip full of odd analogies:

{{quote|...so you better get one thing straight in those whimpering skunk fetuses you twice-inbred Sasquatches dare call brains. If even one of you hemorrhaging shit-apes so much as blinks wrong, I'll see to it personally that you're lapping rat bile off an AIDS-infested twat rag by the end of the week. Got it?!}}

* From ''[[Hark! A Vagrant]]'': [http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=180 "And if I catch you back here by God I'll make you sit in the corner MYSELF."] And ''this'' after the threat of a [[Strongly Worded Letter]].

{{quote|'''Superintendent:''' He'll think twice about '''that'''.

[[Category:A Tortured Index]]

[[Category:Language Tropes]]