Deadpool/Self Demonstrating: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''[[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|"Yay, now is
[[No Fourth Wall|Heya]], [[Stan Lee|true believing]] [[Troper]]! This is me, Deadpool, aka [[Badass Nickname|The Merc with the Mouth]], [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|The Regenerating Degenerate]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|The Crimson Comedian]]. I'm a [[Marvel Comics]] mercenary [[Anti-Hero]] character, related to the [[X-Men (Comic Book)|X-Men]] and [[Wolverine]] in particular. I appeared in print for the first time in ''[[New Mutants]]'' #98 (February, 1991) as a [[Captain Ersatz|ripoff]] of [[DC Comics|DC]] mercenary Deathstroke the Terminator, but Deathstroke himself was a rip-off of [[Taskmaster]]! [[Broken Aesop|So score Marvel!]] But that's old news. I'm all-new, I'm all-different, and boy does that feel good!
[[Wolverine Publicity|I appear in many different comics]] in the [[Marvel Universe]]. Besides my own
As you're probably noticing ''just'' about now, [[Motor Mouth|I loooooove to talk]]. Yes, it's my most valuable asset: the lungs to provide endless witty banter in the heat of battle! [[Blatant Lies|In fact]], '''[[Blatant Lies|everybody]]''' [[Blatant Lies|loves to hear me talk]]!
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OK, I know what you're asking yourself: "How could a single -- albeit snappily-suited -- mercenary become so ''incredibly awesome'' in so many ways?" Oh, gather 'round, kiddies, this is gonna be good. See, my first big splash was hunting down and killing ''every single one'' of the Interweb feebs that thought it would be hilarious to star me in a "Ninja [[Spider-Man (Comic Book)|Spider-Man]]" meme. Caption ''this'', suckers! On the other hand, my own [[Memetic Mutation|memetic monologues]] led to me becoming '''''THE BEST SUPERHERO EVER'''''. That and the fact that [[Breaking the Fourth Wall|I always talk to my loyal (but still weaker) fans]]. [[Self-Demonstrating Article|Like now, for instance]]. You lucky, lucky nerds!
Yes, yes, I'm getting to that: "How could a dweebish square like Wade Wilson ever become ''the sexiest mercenary alive''?" Tricky question. Best I remember is some nice ice-cream salesmen told me they could fix my terminal cancer by injecting me with [[X
Anyhoo, after a few zillion rounds of this, I became [[Body Horror|so goddamn handsome]] that '''[[Go Mad
Anyway, so you wanna know my fighting style, huh? Why, ''[[Confusion Fu|being absolutely rassum frassum crazy]]'' is my fighting style, kiddies! [[Don't Try This At Home]]! Wait... y'know what, go ahead, makes my job easier in the long run. Guns, [[Stuff Blowing Up|explosives]], guns, my trusty [[Katanas Are Just Better|katana]], [[Department of Redundancy Department|guns, guns]], [[Improvised Weapon|anything I find on the ground]], [[It's a Long Story|doorknobs]], guns, and [[Overly Long Gag|firearms]] are all ways I kill people. That is, of course, on the rare occasions my razor-sharp wit hasn't caused them to crumple into sobbing balls of surrender ''long'' before that. My good buddy Weasel also provides me with shiny new gadgets that help to kill more, so I can [[New Powers
Also, you better never mistake me for [[The Joker|that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clown]] who sided with those DC fellas. You know how many of my stupid [[
* ''[[New Mutants]]'': Where I first appeared as a Deathstroke ripoff. Then I started popping up in ''X-Force'' once the title switched over to something that was [[Darker and Edgier]].
** I'm also added to the '''new''' X-Force roster after the whole '''"SECOND COMING"''' debacle. I hope Cyclops doesn't read this wiki, since it's supposed to be a secret! ''SHHHHH!''
* Five miniseries, ''Deadpool: The Circle Chase'', ''Deadpool: Sins of the Past'', ''Deadpool: Suicide Kings'', ''[[Deadpool: Wade
* My ongoing ''Deadpool'' series: The first incarnation appeared from 1997 to 2002; the second volume began September 10, 2008.
* ''Agent X'': How is Agent X related to me? ''It's a mystery!''
* ''[[
* ''Wolverine & Deadpool'': Only available if you can [[Useful Notes On Britain|get scones with it]].
* ''Deadpool: Merc With A Mouth'': A second ongoing series which began in 2009.
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* I drop by this '''5 RONIN''' March 2011 event, [[Blatant Lies|engaged in a heartwarming tale]] of five samurai being wronged by a particularly nasty daimyo. I'm focused in the fifth issue, [[Ensemble Darkhorse|of course they save the best for last]].
* ''[[X-Men (
* I decided to animate myself as a member of Weapon X in ''[[Hulk vs. Wolverine]]'', the first time I ever got animated excluding [[X-Men (
* I was going to star in ''[[Wolverine and
* John Kassir, also known as [[Tales
* I also decided to drop into ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'', with Nolan voicing me again. '''[[Memetic Mutation|F*@# THE KNICKS!]]'''
* I'm also a boss battle ([[Nolan North]] again) in ''[[
* I'm even going to be in The ''[[The
* [[Defictionalization|I even managed to break into]] [[Real Life]], too! [http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/may/25/self-appointed-superhero-watches-over-wenatchee/ You can see me patrolling the streets in Wenatchee Valley]. And again at Comic-Con! I even brought my health bar and got to play in an ''Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3'' tournament ([[Accidental Innuendo|playing with myself]], of course)!
----
* [[Alliterative Name]]: Wade Winston Wilson.
** [[Nolan North]] and [[Ryan Reynolds]] have both done my voice. [[
* [[Alternate Universe]]: Several iterations of yours truly have been made into comic form for your perusal. There's also that Deadpool Corps thing, where we're all alternates of ourselves! FUN!
* [[Always Someone Better]]: So what if people call me the discount version of Wolverine? That guy can get his butt kicked by refrigerator magnets!'
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* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: Remember tropers, Ultimate Me is available for black ops, missions, assassinations, and birthday parties!
* [[Asskicking Pose]]: I [[Invoked Trope|invoke]] it in [[Hulk Vs|Hulk Vs Wolverine]], and hell if it didn't do the trick.
* [[Ass Shove]]: I have to use ''a lot'' of lube to hold all of my weapons.
* [[Atop a Mountain of Corpses]]: In Deadpool/Cable #26, natch!
* [[Baa Bomb]]: I had an inflatable sheep gun at one point. Unfortunately, the one time you feebs have the honor of seeing it, it fails me.
{{quote|
* [[Badass]]: Oh yeah. I am exactly that: ''A character who gets away with outright insane stunts that would never work in real life''. Most times it overlaps with my [[Crazy Awesome]]. [[Dude, Where's My Respect?|Not that many people are willing to acknowledge how badass I am, though]] ([[Captain Oblivious|they're just envious]]).
** [[Badass Transplant]], since [[Running Gag|I am not a mutant]].
* [[Bald of Awesome]]: Having your body constantly torn apart and rebuilt by cancer and a healing factor does that to ya. But at times I have been drawn with hair, [[Depending
* [[Berserk Button]]: Even being reminded of the Weapon X project brings me to a frothy rage.
** And '''never''' go into my house unannounced. I ''hate'' surprise guests.
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** {{spoiler|Being asked to do that DAMN PENCIL TRICK FOR THE GAJILLIONTH TIME! I just can't get away from it!}}
** Don't hurt kids. Ever.
* [[Big Damn Villains]]: I once made a promise to Sandi that I wouldn't kill her [[Asshole Victim|abusive boyfriend]]. Tasky... [[Kick the Son of
* [[Biting the Hand Humor]]: Why, yes. You do suck. Especially at fighting games.
* [[Black Comedy]]: Par for the course. I'm a ''PSYCHOPATH''.
{{quote|
'''Me''': Wait, [[Take That Us|did I just diss myself?]]<br />
'''Me''': [[
* [[Blessed
* [[Blood Knight]]: I love fighting and killing.
* [[Blue and Orange Morality]]: I can be very heroic and friendly when I want to be. But blowing people up is just so much fun! You can see my dilemma.
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** The whole gig gets [[Body Horror|even more disgusting]], because from that point on, whenever Nate tries to teleport, his teleporting whatzamacallit recognizes us as one person and fuses our bodies together at arrival. He finds a way to fix things, though.
* [[Breakout Character]]: I may have started small, but it's scientifically proven that I am the most greatest Marvel character of all time.
{{quote|
'''Me''': Wannabes?
'''My Thought Box''': Yeah, we got two books out right now.
'''My Other Thought Box''': [[Shameless Self Promoter|And another one coming out next month]]. }}
** I * steal* ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance]]''. After all, I refer to my team as [[A Good Name for
* [[Buddy Cop Show]]: There was this time I got stuck with this guy Cable. He was a straight-laced stickler for protocol, and me an unpredictable loose cannon with several cannons of my own.
* [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]]: I mentioned the whole "batshit-crazy and immortal badass" thing right?
* [[But Thou Must!]]: After the whole [[Moral Event Horizon|"I Screw Weasel"]] arc, some [[Executive Meddling|Vegas Executives]] wanted me to be an enforcer full time... [[Defied Trope|but]] [[Curb Stomp Battle|I begged to differ]].
* [[Butter Face]]: Nice, saliently muscled body (under the spandex anyway) but the face is... not that attractive to say the least.
* [[Captain Ersatz]]: Yeah, hate to admit it, but I started out as a ripoff of that Deathstroke guy from ''[[Teen Titans (Comic Book)|Teen Titans]]''. You can see it in the costumes, the jobs, hell, even the names! As a tribute, Joe Kelly managed to sneak me into [[The DCU]] as the Earth-3 version of him. Also, I happened to meet the guy I was doppelganging during a Marvel/DC crossover.
** In Deathstroke's own early 90s book there was a "long lost half-brother" named "'''Wade''' Le Farge", who showed up wanting to become Deathstroke, and take away everything that belonged to him in gruesomely irrational fashion. Although I borrowed almost as heavily from that [[The Joker|crazy-but-not-as-crazy-as-me-in-the-slightest clown]] and Spidey.
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* [[Career Killer]]: Obviously. But [[Captain Oblivious|the]] [[Hobos|D-Man]] is the best at what he does, [[Money, Dear Boy|and what he does depends on how much money you can pay up front]].
* [[Catgirl]]: Not me, but I do have my eyes set on one in ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom|MvC3]]''...
{{quote|
* [[Chekhov's Gun]]: Daniel Way loves to write these in my stories. In one story, I had {{spoiler|Chekhov's Exploding Chair, Chekhov's Buttloads of Cash, and Chekhov's Russian Nuclear Submarine... or is that Chekhov's [[Star Trek IV:
* [[Chekhov's Gunman]]: Oh sure Way, bring some other regenerating mercenaries who also attempt to make wisecracks. '''[[Sarcasm Mode|I'm soooooooooooooooo sure they won't be relevant in the future!]]'''
* [[Close
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: Sometimes I think I'm a character in a story that's written by someone. Oh wait... [[The Cuckoolander Was Right|I am]].
* [[Confusion Fu]]: My legendary fighting style, key in my victory against [[Awesomeness By Analysis|Taskmaster]].
* [[Cool and Unusual Punishment]]: During a climactic battle with a highly cultured German douchebag assassin known as the Black Swan, I invade the guy's home, give his guards some bad cases of dead, destroy large sections of surrounding forest, deface art that's worth millions of dollars and do everything possible to get the guy to fight me. Then when I start singing country and western songs over the PA system...
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** [[Fate Worse Than Death|That got boring pretty fast though, so I went with alternative folk rock next]].
* [[Covered
* [[Cursed
** The fact that a side effect of an indestructible face was an indestructible body allowed me to survive an explosion that litterally left me as the only thing remaining in one piece in the middle of a huge crater. However, Loki removed the curse immediately after I figured out how awesome this is.
** Okay, so me and [[Omnicidal Maniac|Thanos]] [[Love Triangle|both have the hots for Death]]. The solution, considering the [[Death of the Hypotenuse|standard approach]] kinda won't work here and the ''other'' [[Three-Way Sex|standard approach]] is never gonna happen? Thanos made me ''[[Who Wants to Live Forever?|immortal]]''. And I thought '''''I''''' was an asshole...
* [[Dark and Troubled Past]]: I don't wanna talk about it...
* [[Deadpan Snarker|Dead]][[A Worldwide Punomenon|pool]] [[Deadpan Snarker|Snarker]]: The one and only. Everybody comments on my wit.
** Not just other characters. During my face off with the Punisher in issue #55, I said that I even get tired of my own talking.
{{quote|
** In one issue, I was snatched by a [[Death Trap]] enthusiast. I was chained down underneath a giant teddy bear [[It Makes Sense in Context|(just go with it)]], which descends lower every time I spoke and will eventually smother me. I had to break my own limbs to get out just 'cause I wouldn't shut up.
*** At least, the bear was ''originally'' going to smother me, but because of my constant blathering, as Deathtrap put it:
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* [[Death-Activated Superpower]]: How I got my Spiffy McSpiff [[Healing Factor]]! Wait a minute, does this mean I'm a zombie?! No wonder I find [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|Hsien-ko]] so adorable!
* [[Death Seeker]]: Literally! Death is HOT!
* [[Decompressed Comic]] / [[Overly Long Gag]]: After being stuck in a lab tank for days, I pissed in Mr. Sinister's bathroom '''for a page and a half'''.
{{quote|
'''Mr. Sinister''': [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Wash your hands]]. }}
* [[Defictionalization]]: No, not a product I sold or anything like that. ME. [http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/may/25/self-appointed-superhero-watches-over-wenatchee/ I escaped the comic book world, you guys!] Let's see Wolverine do THAT! And they say HE's the best!
* [[Depending
** Also determines how crazy I am, which side of the [[Heel Face Revolving Door]] I'm leaning towards that day...
* [[Depending
* [[Derivative Differentiation]]: I used to just be [[Teen Titans (Comic Book)|Deathstroke]] in red, until they made me insane and gave me my own fighting style.
* [[The Determinator]]: Usually I gotta tangle with opponents much more high-falutin' and educated than I is. Doesn't stop me from tryin'.
* [[Downer Ending]]: {{spoiler|Wade Wilson's War all took place in my head and Dom and I are reduced to a pair of foam-in-the-mouth paraplegics! Actually, there are some parts that are left vague and open to interpretation. [[Gainax Ending|GUH! MY BRAIN!]]}}
* [[Dream Sequence]]: In one issue of Priscila and Deadpool, Black Mamba used her powers to distract me by making me dream of my greatest
* [[Duct Tape for Everything]]: Check [https://web.archive.org/web/20160309212944/http://lafinjack.net/images/comicz/deadpool/deadpool_ducttape.jpg this] out. Oh, there was also that time when Cable, [[Captain America (comics)]] and a few others frickin' ''cocooned'' me with duct tape in an empty warehouse and left me there for hours. And to make things worse... [[Crowning Moment of Funny|I had to pee]].
* [[Dude, Where's My Respect?]]: Despite being one of the deadliest characters in the Marvel Universe, I get close to no respect from anyone.
* [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]: I do this a ''lot'' (for all you know, this whole thing might have been transcribed from me babbling in the ear of one o' you tropers for a few hours). My internal yellow caption box monologue is often 'broken', usually without me realizing it, meaning everyone else on the page can hear what I think. Sometimes, I only think I'm doing an internal monologue, when I'm really talking. Also, I tend to have very disturbing dreams, plus a habit of sleeptalking just before I wake up, creating very embarrassing moments for everyone involved.
{{quote|
'''Irene''' (''staring''): No... Not by your standards, no. }}
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: I might be a merc and an assassin for hire, but I tend to only accept contracts on really bad people (and the occasional superhero) and as the above example with the psychiatrist proves, [[
* [[Faux Affably Evil]]: I am "sadistic, evil, but charming as hell."
* [[Embarrassing Nickname]]: Nate does not like it when I call him Priscilla. It's not my fault I can't keep track of all his damn names!
* [[Everything's Better
* [[Evil Albino]]: T-Ray, and Tombstone. A black one, at that.
* [[Evil Twin]]: Evil Deadpool who is made out of various limbs i've lost over the years.
* [[Exactly What It Says
* [[Expressive Mask]]
* [[Fan Boy]]: I'm a fan boy of Captain America! Did they remember the time he was possessed by some alien thing and I kicked him in the crotch to save the world though?
{{quote|
'''Me''': [[Mythology Gag|The guy who made next issue's cover]] seems to remember though. }}
** One time I was mashed to a pulp by ''Mighty Thor!!!'' (fanboy squeal)
* [[Fan Disservice]]: Kind of depressing to know that even in a universe where I'm a shapely sex bomb, I'm not allowed to NOT be horribly deformed. Lady Deadpool may actually be even more offputting than me...
* [[Fan Service]]: ...unless she's wearing her mask. : )
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** And Taskmaster fills the role of [[Sixth Ranger]]
* [[Fourth Wall Mail Slot]]: In my series, I've often recapped the story arc so far in the first page. And then answered my own fan mail. In said Mail Slot, I'm often accompanied by other characters from my series... who are very confused as to who they're supposed to be talking to. Their expression are worth the effort. To me, anyway. I guess you can't see them.
* [[Fourth Wall Observer]]: Fabian Nicieza usually makes a recap page that isn't in continuity, which means that blobs like [[X
{{quote|
* [[Freudian Excuse]]: I SAID I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!
* [[Fun Personified]]. And Guns Personified. But mostly fun.
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** [http://johjohnfalcao.deviantart.com/art/Felicia-and-Deadpool-252558251 Except now it does]. Of course, I'm not the one wearing it, but...
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Of course.
** I'm not [[Genre Savvy]]! I'm [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]!
** Sometimes it becomes [[Wrong Genre Savvy]] but I'm never wrong... Right?.
* [[The Greatest Story Never Told]]: I've saved the world on quite a number of occasions, it's just that no one was there to see them. Really.
* [[Good Thing You Can Heal]]: [[Averted Trope|Not really]] a ''[[Blessed
* [[Guns Akimbo]]: Aw yeah! Double the guns, double the fun.
* [[Healing Factor]]: In fact, the cancer repeatedly spreading to my brain and instantly healing is the reason I'm so much saner than everyone else!
* [[The Heart]]: I function as this in Uncanny X-Force. When you got me as [[The Heart]], something is seriously wrong with the team.
** Not to mention I never cashed [[Rich Idiot With No Day Job|Warren's]] checks for the better part of a year!
* [[Heel Face Revolving Door]]: Sometimes I may pal around with the so-called "superheroes" if there's some big nasty that has to be dealt with, yet when I see them again because I was hired to beat the crap out of them, they complain! Considering how often most of them do the whole [[Heel Face Turn]] thing in their own books, why are they shocked again? Hypocrisy, man.
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* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath]]: In my very best mood. In my worse moments I'm paid to be an assassin and torture artist, and have personally eviscerated thousands of people for cash, kicks, and [[Complete Monster|giggles]]. And lo, do I giggle.
** ...although, wait. ''Heroic?''
* [[Hero
** I mean, how could anybody pass if even copying off that geek Spidey doesn't help?
* [[I Just Want to Be Loved]]: Deep down, I actually want to be acknowledged and accepted by the rest of the heroes in the Marvel Universe.
* [[Image Song]]: My [[Marvel vs. Capcom|MVC3]] theme song has managed to capture [[Anti Role Model|my essence]]: "[[Hypocrisy Nod|DON'T BE A FOOL, STAY IN SCHOOL]]."
* [[Implausible Boarding Skills]]: I surf on [[Ace Attorney
* [[In Name Only]]: In the ''[[
** The [[Ultimate Marvel|Ultimate]] version of Deadpool has little-to-nothing to do with my classic gorgeous self either, being little more than a grotesque (especially compared to me), [[Fantastic Racism|mutant-hating]] psychopath. Ulitmate 'Verse me suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
*** In fact, he's soooooo bad I had to take his place against his Spidey counterpart [[Spider
* [[Interrupted Cooldown Hug]]: I ticked off a calming Hulk ''intentionally!''
* [[I Resemble That Remark]]: I say those exact words often.
* [[It Makes Sense in Context]]: That time I garroted Santa Claus with a string of barbed wire. As mentioned above, my narration referred to the ordeal as "a routine assignment." And the strangling Santa incident actually isn't all ''that'' bizarre compared to some of the other things I get up to...
** Better yet: Fulfilling my childhood dream by wearing raw meat as body armor and senselessly beating a super villain dressed like a superhero (Hawkeye, then called Bullseye) with a giant ham.
* [[Jerkass]]: Hey, I resemble that remark! Sometimes I am shown as a [[Jerk
{{quote|
* [[Kansas City Shuffle]]: My genius plan to get Norman Osborn to pay up after he stole one of my marks and ruined my rep. ''No one'' screws with my professional reputation.
* [[Katanas Are Just Better]]: Hell yes, they are!
* [[Kavorka Man]]... '''[[Chick Magnet|CHICK MAGNET:]]''' Aww hells yeah, you know it, ladies. [[Shape Shifter|Vanessa]], [[Yandere|Typhoid Mary]], [[Heroes Want Redheads|Siryn]], [[Betty and Veronica|Dr. Betty, Professor Veronica]],[[Distaff Counterpart|Lady Deadpool]], [[Most Common Superpower|Outlaw]], [[Naughty Tentacles|Morrigan]], [[Catgirl|Felicia]], and not to mention the [[Fan Girl|millions upon millions of others]], who have succumbed to my [[Dungeons
** In my [[Marvel vs. Capcom|MvC3]] ending, I got to mac with most of the lovely ladies at my slammin' party after wasting Galactus's purple pimply ass! Until I accidentally wiped out Cleveland... whoops!
* [[
{{quote|
'''Me''': [[Even the Guys Want Him|You're really pretty]].<br />
''[[Beat]]''<br />
'''Me''': [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]. }}
** Also with [[Captain America (comics)]]!
* [[Lampshade Hanging]]: Oh, so often.
* [[Large Ham]]: What do you mean I'm an overactor? [[I'm a Marvel And
* [[Lawyer-Friendly Cameo]]: A Superman/Batman special featured a snarky, motor-mouthed, katana-wielding, regenerating costumed super-hero (that's basically a [[Palette Swap]] of Deathstroke) "trying" to save the life of Bruce Wayne from a bunch of assassins. A [[Running Gag]] throughout the comic is that the "mysterious hero" keeps trying to say his name, but never manages to. Did I mention that [[My Real Daddy|Joe Kelly]] wrote this annual?
* [[Leeroy Jenkins]]: [[Crowning Moment of Funny|F** k plans]]. I should've just run in and scream outta my lungs like, '''''"WAAAAADEEEE!!! WIIIILLLLSSOOOOONNNN!!!!!"'''''. Or maybe '''''"DEAAAADDDD!!! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!"'''''. Boy, I should've logged on to that server sometime.
* [[Let's Get Dangerous|Let's Get The
* [[Lethal Joke Character]]: [[Exactly What It Says
* [[Likes Older Women]]: Oh Bea Arthur, my angel, my star, no man can love you like I do... I also have an on-off thing with [[Anthropomorphic Personification|Death]], but that's a bit more complicated. [[Funny Aneurysm Moment|Too bad both of them are together now]]... [[Girl-On-Girl Is Hot|or is it]]?
* [[Loud of War]]: I once thought Cable was going to transmit an endless loop of the Backstreet Boys. When he found out, he almost [[Moral Event Horizon|did]]. Later, I did the same thing to Black Swan, [[Complete Monster|with country music. (I kill me)]]
* [[Major Injury Underreaction]]: I encounter a [[Femme Fatale|really pretty lady on the moon]]. [[It Makes Sense in Context|Just roll with it]].
{{quote|
[[Nightmare Face|She opens her mouth in a manner that is NOT for man]]. [[Nightmare Fuel|And out comes what appear to be flesh eating locusts]]. That charge at me and presumably begin eating my flesh. I mean, who wouldn't?<br />
'''[[Gratuitous French|Moi]]''': [[Completely Missing the Point|You totally misunderstood my proposal]]. }}
* [[Manipulative Bastard]]: In one issue of the recent Deadpool comics, I betray my employer and [[I'm a Humanitarian|feed him to his zombie capturers]]
{{quote|
'''Me''': [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Duh]]! ''-kicks zombie in the head-'' }}
** Also, in ''Deadpool #18'', I set up an elaborate gambit to make the X-Men look good. Which was not easy; emo, as you know, is so out. Seems like Way is shaping me up to be one...
** In each "episode" of the ''5 Ronin'' maxi-series, I step-in to rescue or aid my fellow ronin in their own personal adventures. [[Indy Ploy|I have a plan, trust me, it will work out in the end]].
* [[McNinja]]: Katanas. Acrobatics. If you ignore the "stealth" part (I do! It's boring), I am definitely a ninja. In fact, as I mention (in one of my first series' letter pages) I've undergone ''bona fide'' ninja training. Whether to believe me or not is up to you!
** Apparently someone at Marvel reads this page, because they went and got [[The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
* [[Medium Awareness]]: You know how some guys have cosmic awareness? Well I've got ''comics'' awareness!
** Seriously, am I the only person in [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3
** I mean, except for [[She Hulk|that other 4th wall mutilating Marvel character]]? Seriously, [[Shout-Out|somebody should make her my new co-star instead of that smelly old cyborg]]! She's a fun-loving saint [[Perverse Sexual Lust|with tattered clothing and raging emotions, who can out-romance Tony Stark]]! I'm a fun-loving homicidal maniac who will hump [[Anything That Moves]]! [[Famous Last Words|What could go wrong]]? I'd even keep her busy with hundreds of legal cases to solve... 'cause that's just the kind of giving guy that I am. I can imagine her response now:
{{quote|
* [[Mind Screw]]: I pull off one hell of an example in my Marvel Knights mini-series ''Wade Wilson's War'', with it's ambiguous ending and all.
* [[Mix-and-Match Man]]: Me!
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** Hell, while we're at it, [[Running Gag|I'm finally an X-Man!]] Albeit a dirty, blackops X-Man in an X-Team that shouldn't even be made known of... [[The Greatest Story Never Told|STANDARD PROCEDURE!]]
* [[Name's the Same]]: So the last [[Dirty Harry]] movie was named after me... and was made years before I started showing up in comics. Weird.
* [[Naughty Tentacles]]: I, a hideously deformed, twisted, lecherous, perverted, and amoral deviant freak of nature in good standing, was [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WZdQD2kEk4 flagrantly] [[Marvel vs. Capcom 3|felt up]] by a [[All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles|sexy and nubile]] [[Really Seven Hundred Years Old|young]] [[Darkstalkers
** {{spoiler|Back when [[Alternate Reality]]!Cable was taken over by techno-organics}} and sprouted loads of shiny metal tentacles. When they were attracted by my overwhelming charisma, I, naturally, went from "ow! ow! hey -- that is incredibly personal space there -- ow!!!" to "okay--hey--okay--okay--[[Ho Yay|see, now I'm kinda liking it]]".
** Also what is implied to happen in the ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'' cinematic intro. Thank god that game is rated T, otherwise that huge comedy yell wouldn't have been acting. Honestly Morrigan, [[Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy|learn to aim!]]
* [[Never Say "Die"]]: Yep, this happened to me once. It was in a not-exactly-canon Avengers comic aimed more toward the kiddies (Marvel Adventures), so I was constantly identified as "Wade Wilson, also known as--" just before the expositor got cut short by someone else. Oh, that reminds me: Kraven, you still suck.
* [[Nineties Anti-Hero]]: Some people think this was my [[Old Shame]], but I was never an [[Anti-Hero]] in the 90's, just in my debut (my REAL [[Old Shame]] for being a [[DC Comics|Deathstroke]] [[Captain Ersatz|ripoff]]). I was mostly just [[Chaotic Neutral]] at my most awesome or a [[Punch Clock Villain]] at my second most awesome. Also, I was funny even back then, thanks to Mr. Nicieza.
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: I've faced a zombie version of me, become a pirate, and I technically dress up as a ninja. Three out of four ain't so bad... not! ''Now: to force [[Fantastic Four (Comic Book)|Reed Richards]] to make me a Robopool!''
* [[No Fourth Wall]]:
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** In [[The Randomverse]], where the Fourth Wall is already in pieces, I broke it even harder. Everyone in the videos knows that we're comic book characters, but only ''I'' know I'm an action figure ''representing'' the character. And to break it [[Up to Eleven]], I begin, in my yellow thought bubbles, to complain about the poor animation quality, and wonder why the creators didn't use a better editing software. As if a simple action figure can capture my awesomeness!
** It gets to the point were I'm the ''only one'' in the entire Marvel universe that knows about [[One More Day|Spider-Man's deal with Mephisto]]... er, besides Mephisto that is.
** And then there's me beating the snot out of people in [[Marvel vs. Capcom]] 3 with my own health bar.
*** If only the players would bother learning my game breaking awesome combos instead of relying on X-Factor, the lazy bums!
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** Although there was this one time, right after I escaped from a British Mental Institute, shortly before I ran into [[Evil Twin|Evil Deadpool]], where I saved a bunch of Third Worldies, of course I was just trying to take control of the ship so I could get back to dry land. I think I got a slightly warm fuzzy feeling when the only one who could speak English told me I was a good person. That's a start at least.
** And I guess Nate did. A little.
* [[Noodle Incident]]: You'll never know my ultimate diss, a diss so potent it makes Marines weep and women lose function of their pancreas... Mamageddon.
** And we'll never know how I, Cable, and the Fixer ended up in St. Louis, fighting a villain who released a [[Squick|diarrhetic]] over Old Busch Stadium during a Cardinals game (though I thought that was just the fifty franks he ate).
* [[Noodle Implements]]: In ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance|Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2]]'', I suggest that Nick Fury give me {{spoiler|a poodle, a bullhorn and four nuns}} in order to distract Marvel's [[Captain America (comics)|not-so-subtle]] [[Iron Man|lovers]].
* [[Not So Different]]: I can't believe that those [[Capcom]] guys honestly think that [[Devil May Cry|some wussy named Dante]] [[Marvel vs. Capcom|could go toe-to-toe with me]]! There's only ''one'' gunslinging, sword-wielding, snarky crimson-clad mercenary in this game, and it's definitely not [[
** While different people have different opinions, personally I think they could have settled in for that [[Street Fighter Alpha
* [[Obfuscating Stupidity]]: It's implied, quite a bit, that my "insanity" is just my way of coping with my [[The Woobie|horrible position in life]]. Either that or I'm just a [[Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass|downright]] [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|nutjob]]. But hey! [[Evil Versus Evil|At least I killed that guy that raped your next door neighbor's 5-year-old daughter!]]
** This is also Peter Milligan's interpretation of me in ''5 Ronin''.
* [[Odd Friendship]]: With Cable. And most of my friends, really.
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** Man, he can be such a dick sometimes. It really suits him.
* [[Only Sane Man]]: You know, everyone calls me crazy, and they might have a point; on the other hand, none of them realise they are actually comic book characters, so who is ''really'' the crazy one?
* [[Overshadowed
* [[Painting the Medium]]: In a lovely shade of narration-box yellow, with flecks of blood red, to be precise.
* [[Poorly-Disguised Pilot]]: Bob, Agent of HYDRA. He never did get that limited series they pitched so hard, did he?
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* [[Psycho for Hire]]: I resent that! I'm not a psycho! I've been going to therapy... until the therapist tragically died. 'Cause [[Dude, Not Funny|I killed him]].
* [[Psychopathic Manchild]]: Hey! Just 'cause [[Marvel vs. Capcom|I shout internet memes after fighting Magneto]] does not make me childish!
* [[Red and Black
* [[Redemption Demotion]]: Averted. [[Redemption Promotion|If anything, I became even more awesome once I kinda, sorta turned into somewhat of a good guy]]. Hell, they didn't even let me have a [[Healing Factor]] in my early days of being [[Monster of the Week|Villain Of The Month]]. Go read my second appearence where I'm all bitchy because my jaw was wired shut after some guy in Weapon X broke it. On second thought... [[Old Shame|don't]].
* [[Retcon]]: My past is very colorful, but Marvel made it so that whatever backstory Deadpool:Origins has becomes canon. Then again as I have mentioned in the comics, my origin depends on the writer, so I stopped caring. [[Multiple Choice Past]] and all that.
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* [[Rule of Funny]]: [[Chaotic Neutral|Rules aren't usually my thing]], but I like this one.
* [[Running Gag]]
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* [[Shapeshifting Squick]]: Ah [https://web.archive.org/web/20140913144920/http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/thumb/b/b3/Copycat233.jpg/200px-Copycat233.jpg Vanessa], the great love of my life and best thing that ever happened to me; always seeing me as her [[Knight in Shining Armour]] after I rescued her from slavery, prostitution, and various assassins; always appreciating my awesome sense of humour; [[Stalker
* [[The Scrappy]]: In-universe, folks! Most people can't stand to be around me.
* [[Sidekick]]: Bob, hapless, captured [[Mook|agent]] of HYDRA!
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* [[Hit Me Dammit|Snikt Me, Dammit!]]: I spent the better part of an issue trying to get [[Wolverine]] to stab me. But he was being a wuss, so I [[Street Fighter|Shoryuken'd]] Kitty Pryde instead. That worked.
** Also, for me to unleash the fury of [[Power Level|my Level 3 special]] in [[Marvel vs. Capcom]] 3, people have to hit me whilst I am doing a [[Sexy Walk]].
* [[Super Speed]]: Okay, so maybe it isn't one of my [[No Fourth Wall|official powers]], but it darn well oughta be. I mean, I can outrun a friggin' ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20100706002009/http://i082.radikal.ru/0909/d5/77f59eab6e86.jpg jetliner]'' fer Bea Arthur's sake!
* [[The Starscream]]: Occasionally Weasel.
* [[Stalker
* [[Team Pet]]: Also Bob, agent of HYDRA!
* [[Technicolor Ninjas]]
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* [[Talking Is a Free Action]]: Natch. My lung capacity cannot be matched. [[The Chick|Domino]] notes my endless, inane banter is actually my most dangerous ability, since most opponents are too distracted to pay attention to my moves. Just... as... plotted.
* [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]]: In the early days of Cable and Deadpool, Cable handed one to me. He can be so hurtful sometimes. But while he could tear me apart on the molecular level by blinking, [[Shut UP, Hannibal|he doesn't hold a candle to me when it comes to wordslingin']].
* [[The Scream]]: I love screaming, and I'll never miss the chance for one. Especially [[Screams Like a Little Girl|like a little girl!]] Here, listen on this one I recorded in tape when I met Sabretooth...
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'''Me''': Scream? Well, if you insist. AAAAAHHH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AAAAAHHH AAAAAHHH
'''Sabretooth''': Enough, Wilson.
'''Me''': No wait -- Now I'll do it like a little girl: eeek! eeek! eeek! }}
* [[Stupid Sexy Flanders|Stupid Sexy Cable]], [[The Mighty Thor|Thor]], [[Phantom Thief|The Cat]], [[Captain America (comics)]][[Overly Long Gag|...]]
{{quote|
'''Me''': I REALLY FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE!
'''Thor''': ...
'''Me''': [[Did I Just Say That Out Loud?]]. }}
* [[Take Our Word for It]]: In a recent issue, I was hired to kill a man by an old girlfriend whom he spread a rumor about. The rumor is so terrible, even [[Complete Monster|Bullseye]] wanted the guy dead.
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** Oh, and you guys shouldn't feel left out either. As Way had me mention the other day: "There is nobody I hate more than my friends." I liked [[Marx Brothers|"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member"]] better though.
* [[They Fight Crime]]: This is the point of the ''Deadpool Team-Up'' series, as it gives inferior heroes a day in the limelight with everyone's favorite mercenary, by which I mean me, by which I mean no one other than me, by which I mean not you.
* [[This Is Sparta]]!: Must... use... [[Star Trek
* [[Too Kinky to Torture]]: Once, while on a job for X-Force, I was caught by Apocalypse's goons who then proceeded to tie me up just so I could regale them with a my stunning rendition of Miami Sound Machine's ''Conga''.
* [[Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth]]: Galactus fired me because I was just too ''awesome'' for him to handle. It's [[Blatant Lies|definitely not]] because he wanted me to [[Motor Mouth|shut up]].
** Then there was the time I was captured to be zombiefood. I tasted like cancer.
* [[Trickster Archetype]]
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* [[What Could Have Been]]: I nearly was ''left out'' of ''[[Marvel vs. Capcom 3]]'' because some moron "accidentally" put me on the "no go" list. If it wasn't for the attention of the other people outside of that single moron, I wouldn't be hitting people with my life bar left and right. Now, to go find that idiot...
* [[Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?]]: I call the Punisher out on it during Suicide Kings. Since, you know, the previous day he tried to strangle me and electrocute my ass... with ''mecha-frickin'-tentacles''.
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* [[Who Wants to Live Forever?]]: Turns out to be what I've been obsessing about in the Daniel Way arc.
* [[Wild Card]]: Of course. I mean, that's pretty much half my reason for livin'.
* [[Wolverine Publicity]]: To put it simply, starting in 2008, I've pretty much kicked good ol' Wolverine off his title as Marvel's Poster Child.
** Just because this has to be on the Internet somewhere: The Poster Child succession has been
*** Interestingly, this corresponds to [[The Golden Age of Comic Books]], [[The Silver Age of Comic Books]], [[The Bronze Age of Comic Books]], [[The Dark Age of Comic Books]], and [[The Modern Age of Comic Books]].
*** However, Wolverine still hasn't fully left the spot and [[The Hood]] is also trying to claim the position, not to mention Anti-Venom... yeah. It's like the pro wrestlers say: the belt might as well be a target.
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: Hey ladies, you want equality right? Guess what, I'm all for it. Shadowcat will tell you just how much I support feminism!
** Glad to see that you're all suggesting her as DLC in "Marvel Vs Capcom 3". I'll let her know about it the next time I see her, probably before I knock her unconscious.
* [[Indy Ploy]] or [[Xanatos Roulette]]: So get this: I was attacking a ship of Skrulls and Super Skrulls, then offered 'em my services, then got captured, tortured, cloned for Super Deadpool Skrulls, then convinced the scientist to let me train the Deadpool Skrulls so they can kill all the other Skrulls on the ship. Knowing that the Deadpool Skrulls were all doomed because they [[Irony|they don't have cancer]], I could then steal the information. None of this was {{spoiler|Nick Fury}}'s plan, but damn it was fun.
* [[Xanatos Gambit]]: "X Marks the Spot", looking to do somethin' heroic, I convinced Cyke to allow me into the X-Men as a probationary member, then went and "attempted" to kill the guy who was all over TV saying the X-Men were keeping his daughter hostage (while wearing the X-Men uniform I made myself), failed, tried again, resulting in the X-Men showing up to take me out. There, Wolverine grabbed the camera guy to film the X-Men saving The Asshole from Deadpool, including Cyclops saying I wasn't an X-Man, the little Indian giver (that was offensive to our native peoples and I apologize). Immediately after the camera stopped rolling, Wolvie, who ain't as dumb as he looks, revealed that he figured out I had set the entire thing up myself, all to put the X-Men back in good standing with the American Public ''and'' to get The Asshole to reveal that Osborn had paid him off to claim the X-Men had kidnapped his daughter. I called it... Operation Moves, and I did it to make X-Men realize how wrong they were for denying me entry into their ranks the ''first'' time. And to make Cyclops admit that yes, I did have some pretty good moves. Apparently, if I put this amount of thought into everything I did, I'd probably rule the world. (Though who can say for sure that I haven't and don't?)
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* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: Parodiedeth when I briefly taketh possession of a faketh copy of [[Thor|thout viking guy's]] hammer and change thost speech patterns accordinglyst.
** Combinedth with [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?]], as mine exploits with thine "hammer" involve ordering ye olde disproportionately hugeth amount of foode from Tacoe Belle, using thine hammer as a baseballe bat in thost majore league game (I ''still'' striketh oute), and attacking a [[Michael Jackson]] [[Captain Ersatz]]. Eth.
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* [[You Bastard]]: In Deadpool #900. I realize that {{spoiler|[[Popularity Power|I would never really die because the fans like me too much]]. So I decide to [[Kill'Em All|kill all my fans]]}}. [[Ensemble Darkhorse|I didn't realize how hard that would be]].
* [[Your Head Asplode]]: Nate did this to me with his uber psychic powers. Twice. I was not amused.
* [[Your Mom]]: Again, Mamageddon, my ultimate diss!
----
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Orphaned/Self Demonstrating/Character Pages]]▼
[[Category:Just for Fun]]
[[Category:Deadpool]]▼
[[Category:Self Demonstrating]]
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