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{{quote|'''Gordon:''' I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me? I'm awesome! [[Completely Missing the Point|Are you all jealous!?]]|''[[Freemans Mind]]'', when Gordon tries to figure out why [[Fiery Coverup|the army is trying to kill him.]]}}
| ''[[Freeman's Mind]]'', when Gordon tries to figure out why [[Fiery Coverup|the army is trying to kill him.]]}}
 
{{quote|'''Yugi:''' It's as though nature itself is just randomly trying to kill us!
'''Tristan:''' [[M. Night Shyamalan]] was right!|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series|Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series]]''}}
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series|Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series]]''}}
 
{{quote|In Nintendo you control a little man who runs around the screen trying to stay alive while numerous powerful and inexplicably hostile forces try to kill him. It's a lot like New York.|'''Dave Barry'''}}
|'''Dave Barry'''}}
 
{{quote|The floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.|'''GlaDOS,''' ''[[Portal (series)|Portal]]''}}
|'''GlaDOS,''' ''[[Portal (series)|Portal]]''}}
 
{{quote|Let's worry about more important matters, like why does the fire department want you dead?|'''Mike Fireball''' in [http://progressiveboink.com/archive/simpsonsarcade.html his article] about ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' arcade game}}
|'''Mike Fireball''' in [http://progressiveboink.com/archive/simpsonsarcade.html his article] about ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' arcade game}}
 
{{quote|"R.I.P Player, killed by elementary physics"|One of many ''[[Nethack]]'' death messages.}}
|One of many ''[[Nethack]]'' death messages.}}
{{quote|The axolotl bites!
@ "axolotl? What's that?"
Specify what? axolotl
A mundane salamander, ...
... harmless*.
@ "...? What's the asterisk mean?"
______
<small>*except for Dudley.</small>
| ''Dudley's dungeon'' }}
 
{{quote|'''Abner:''' She used to be run by a dwarf named Kurtz, but he was killed by some bad clams.
'''Krosp:''' Clams?
'''Abner:''' Yes, they had axes.|''[[Girl Genius]]''}}
|''[[Girl Genius]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Othar Tryggvassen:''' Ha! It'll take more than being tied to a lit keg of explosives and tossed into a pit of acid filled with mutant, acid-resistant flying piranhas equipped with flame throwers and battle-axes while mechanical, missile-launching morris dancers armed with liquid nitrogen harpoon guns are overhead, riding giant, rabid killer bees with side mounted death rays to kill '''Othar Tryggvassen'''!
'''Ferretina:''' Whoops! Silly me, I forgot to turn the ''lightning generators'' on!
'''Othar:''' Er, not a ''whole lot'' more, I'll admit...|Turning the above [[Up to Eleven]], ''[[Girl Genius]]''}}
|Turning the above [[Up to Eleven]], ''[[Girl Genius]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Zola "Heterodyne":''' [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20070725 Avoid any floorstone] marked in ''white''. It is a trap that will kill you. Do not stand under any part of the ceiling marked in ''white''. It is a trap that will kill you. ''Duck'' under any opening taller than ''one meter''. It is a trap that will kill you. Do not touch ''any'' metal surface. It is a trap that will kill you.
'''Mook 1:''' Are you ''trying'' to frighten us?
'''Zola:''' ''[[Properly Paranoid|Yes!]]'' This place is dangerous, twisted, and worst of all--<br />
'''Mook 2:''' Hey, a gold piece! Aaaaaaaa.....<br />
'''Zola:''' It likes to think it has a ''sense of humor''.|''[[Girl Genius]]'' -- inside the [[Malevolent Architecture|Castle Heterodyne]]}}
|''[[Girl Genius]]'' [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date{{=}}20070725 25 Jul 2007] (inside the [[Malevolent Architecture|Castle Heterodyne]]) }}
 
{{quote|''Oh my god, here comes a shark and it's gonna kill you''
''Oh my god, look out for the jellyfish, they're gonna kill you''
''Oh my god, the rocks a-falling, they're gonna kill you''
''Hey look out, you're almost out of oxygen, it's gonna kill you''
''Oh my god, I can't believe that '''that''' could kill you''
''Oh my god, I can't touch a bubble, that'll kill you''
''Dear god, this game is frustrating! I guess I'm just angry''
about the 40 hours I can't get back
''about the 40 hours I can't get back''|'''[[That Guy With The Glasses|That Chick with the Goggles]]''', singing about ''[[Ecco the Dolphin (series)|Ecco]]: [http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/bt/goggles/giguo/7583-eccotides Tides of Time]''}}
 
{{quote|"All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and when they catch you, they will kill you... but first they must catch you."|'''[[Watership Down]]'''}}▼
{{quote|"Even when the battlefield gives us every advantage, it is still part of the universe. And this universe, never forget, despises us."|'''Daenyathos- "The Reliquerae Tactica"''', ''[[Warhammer 40000]]''}}▼
|'''[[Watership Down]]'''}}
 
{{quote|"Holy shit! What a dream I was having! Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me!"|'''Mrs. Lift,''' ''[[Throw Momma from the Train]]''}}▼
▲{{quote|"All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and when they catch you, they will kill you... but first they must catch you."|'''[[Watership Down]]'''}}
|'''Mrs. Lift,''' ''[[Throw Momma from the Train]]''}}
 
{{quote|This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If [[Killer Game Master|the game master wants to kill you]], you're dead.|Head Injury Theater, [http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF VERY STUPID MONSTERS.]}}▼
▲{{quote|"Holy shit! What a dream I was having! Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me!"|'''Mrs. Lift,''' ''[[Throw Momma from the Train]]''}}
|Head Injury Theater, [http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm Celebrating 30 Years of Very Stupid Monsters.]}}
{{quote|''Because if [[Dungeons and& Dragons|D&D]] has taught me anything, it has taught me that my laundry is just waiting to stab me in the face whenever I let my guard down.''|'''[http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm Celebrating 30+ Years of Stupid Monsters: Part Two]'''}}▼
|'''[http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm Celebrating 30+ Years of Stupid Monsters: Part Two]'''}}
 
{{quote|Survival rule 502: Every hunk of rock is trying to kill you.
▲{{quote|''Because if [[Dungeons and Dragons|D&D]] has taught me anything, it has taught me that my laundry is just waiting to stab me in the face whenever I let my guard down.''|'''[http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm Celebrating 30+ Years of Stupid Monsters: Part Two]'''}}
{{quote|''"Survival rule 502: Every hunk of rock is trying to kill you."''|'''[http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x{{=}}mtg/daily/stf/69 Zurdi, goblin shortcutter]'''}}▼
 
{{quote|"Out there beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes."|'''Col. Miles Quaritch''', ''[[Avatar (film)|Avatar]]''}}▼
▲{{quote|''"Survival rule 502: Every hunk of rock is trying to kill you."''|'''[http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/stf/69 Zurdi, goblin shortcutter]'''}}
|'''Col. Miles Quaritch''', ''[[Avatar (film)|Avatar]]''}}
 
{{quote|"He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers."|'''Angel of the LORD''' to '''Hagar''' about '''Ishmael''', ''[[The Bible]]'', Genesis 16:12 (New International Version)}}▼
▲{{quote|"Out there beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes."|'''Col. Miles Quaritch''', ''[[Avatar (film)|Avatar]]''}}
|'''Angel of the LORD''' to '''Hagar''' about '''Ishmael''', ''[[The Bible]]'', Genesis 16:12 (New International Version)}}
 
{{quote|"An animated globule of molten lava, OUT TO DESTROY YOU FOR SOME REASON. Truly, EVERYTHING is out to get you. That's what you get for being a protagonist!"|'''Lava Blob [[Monster Compendium|description]]''', ''[[MARDEK]] Chapter III''}}▼
▲{{quote|"He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers."|'''Angel of the LORD''' to '''Hagar''' about '''Ishmael''', ''[[The Bible]]'', Genesis 16:12 (New International Version)}}
|'''Lava Blob [[Monster Compendium|description]]''', ''[[MARDEK]] Chapter III''}}
 
{{quote|''This rock, this sock▼
▲{{quote|"An animated globule of molten lava, OUT TO DESTROY YOU FOR SOME REASON. Truly, EVERYTHING is out to get you. That's what you get for being a protagonist!"|'''Lava Blob [[Monster Compendium|description]]''', ''[[MARDEK]] Chapter III''}}
 
▲{{quote|''This rock, this sock
This clock, that tree
All have a great potential for harming me
I bet that you think
You could never get hurt
By a box of raisins or a flannel shirt!''|'''Wade Duck''', ''[[Garfield and Friends]]''}}
|'''Wade Duck''', ''[[Garfield and Friends]]''}}
 
{{quote|'''Scott:''' Look out for that truck. It'll kill you.
Line 63 ⟶ 89:
'''Scott:''' Look out for that dog. It'll kill you.
'''Missy:''' Is there anything in this game that can't kill you?
'''Scott:''' Not that I've found. Look out for that shrub.|[http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2009/11/15/how-to-play-video-games-together.html Scott and Missy playing a video game together,] ''[[Basic Instructions]]''.}}
|[http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2009/11/15/how-to-play-video-games-together.html Scott and Missy playing a video game together,] ''[[Basic Instructions]]''.}}
 
{{quote|''"[[My Little Pony|Dream Valley]] is constantly out to kill you. It's like [[Australian Wildlife|Australia]], [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Sunnydale]] and [[Ravenloft]] met at an orgy, and spawned this abberation, then woke up in the morning and freaked out when they realized [[The Care Bears|Care-A-Lot]] and [[Princess Classic|Disneyland]] had also participated."''|'''[http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=11448858#post11448858 Where I Watch: My Little Pony]''', post #72}}▼
|'''[http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p{{=}}11448858#post11448858 Where I Watch: My Little Pony]''', post #72}}
 
{{quote|"When I was a kid we played games where we had one life and every bird, insect and blade of grass was trying to murder you."|'''Yahtzee,''' [[Zero Punctuation]]}}▼
▲{{quote|''"[[My Little Pony|Dream Valley]] is constantly out to kill you. It's like [[Australian Wildlife|Australia]], [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Sunnydale]] and [[Ravenloft]] met at an orgy, and spawned this abberation, then woke up in the morning and freaked out when they realized [[The Care Bears|Care-A-Lot]] and [[Princess Classic|Disneyland]] had also participated."''|'''[http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?p=11448858#post11448858 Where I Watch: My Little Pony]''', post #72}}
|'''Yahtzee,''' [[Zero Punctuation]]}}
 
{{quote|''[[Through the Eyes of Madness|Deadly poison nerve gas smoke was sprayed at me from CIGARS, CIGARETTES and even from BALL-POINT PENS also from the WIG of a woman sitting next to me, even the Swiss cheese-type ice cubes were evaporating into poison nerve gas smoke in all of the "free" drinks!]]''|[[Francis E. Dec]], [http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/toalljudges.htm "To all Judges!"]}}▼
▲{{quote|"When I was a kid we played games where we had one life and every bird, insect and blade of grass was trying to murder you."|'''Yahtzee,''' [[Zero Punctuation]]}}
|[[Francis E. Dec]], [http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/toalljudges.htm "To all Judges!"]}}
 
{{quote|"''You better pay attention or this world you love so much''▼
▲{{quote|''[[Through the Eyes of Madness|Deadly poison nerve gas smoke was sprayed at me from CIGARS, CIGARETTES and even from BALL-POINT PENS also from the WIG of a woman sitting next to me, even the Swiss cheese-type ice cubes were evaporating into poison nerve gas smoke in all of the "free" drinks!]]''|[[Francis E. Dec]], [http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/toalljudges.htm "To all Judges!"]}}
Might just kill you.
''Might just kill you."''|''[[Monk]]'' theme song}}▼
 
{{quote|''"So you're walking through Hill Valley and every single thing you can imagine is out to kill you. Bullies, hoola-hoop girl, killer bees, and guys [[Sheet of Glass|holding glass windows?]]...I never knew a hoola-hoop girl could be so deadly! Why does she want to kill Marty, anyway?...What are those guys doing with that window, anyway? And why are all these giant bees coming out! Give me a break! And what the fuck is Marty doing when he gets killed? It looks like he's having some kind of a seizure! I mean, I guess I'd have a seizure too if there were bees and hoola-hoop girls coming at me! I mean, just leave me alone! I'm trying to collect '''[[It Makes Sense in Context|clocks!"]]'''''|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''', in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y306cWw98a4 his review] of the ''[[Back to The Future]]'' game.}}▼
▲{{quote|"''You better pay attention or this world you love so much''
|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''', in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}y306cWw98a4 his review] of the ''[[Back to The Future]]'' game.}}
▲''Might just kill you."''|''[[Monk]]'' theme song}}
 
{{quote|"''Everything imaginable wants you dead. Even water faucets coming out of trees. Even the hands of a clock can kill you.''"|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''' on ''[[The Wizard of Oz]]'' for the [[SNES]]}}▼
▲{{quote|''"So you're walking through Hill Valley and every single thing you can imagine is out to kill you. Bullies, hoola-hoop girl, killer bees, and guys [[Sheet of Glass|holding glass windows?]]...I never knew a hoola-hoop girl could be so deadly! Why does she want to kill Marty, anyway?...What are those guys doing with that window, anyway? And why are all these giant bees coming out! Give me a break! And what the fuck is Marty doing when he gets killed? It looks like he's having some kind of a seizure! I mean, I guess I'd have a seizure too if there were bees and hoola-hoop girls coming at me! I mean, just leave me alone! I'm trying to collect '''[[It Makes Sense in Context|clocks!"]]'''''|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''', in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y306cWw98a4 his review] of the ''[[Back to The Future]]'' game.}}
|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''' on ''[[The Wizard of Oz]]'' for the [[SNES]]}}
 
▲{{quote|"Even when the battlefield gives us every advantage, it is still part of the universe. And this universe, never forget, despises us."|'''Daenyathos- "The Reliquerae Tactica"''', ''[[Warhammer 40000]]''}}
▲{{quote|"''Everything imaginable wants you dead. Even water faucets coming out of trees. Even the hands of a clock can kill you.''"|'''[[The Angry Video Game Nerd]]''' on ''[[The Wizard of Oz]]'' for the [[SNES]]}}
|'''Daenyathos- "The Reliquerae Tactica"''', ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]''}}
{{quote|So who is it this time?
'''Uncountable''' Tyranids?
'''Unkillable''' Necrons?
'''Untouchable''' Eldar?
'''Unshootable''' Tau?
'''Unbeatable''' Orks?
'''Unbanishable''' Daemons?
'''Unvirginable''' Daemonettes of Slaanesh?
I hope it's '''Unvirginable Daemonettes of Slaanesh'''. If [[Redshirt Army|I have to die]], I want to die '''motorboating'''.
| An Imperial guardsman being savvy about how [[Warhammer 40,000|his universe]] works | ''Regular Marine'' [http://flashgitzanims.tumblr.com/post/47541587709/just-a-couple-talking-guardsmen-we-dont-know-or #41] }}
{{quote|Everything out there is trying to kill you, soldier. If you figure that out quickly enough, you might live long enough to pass it on to [[Red Shirt Army|the next batch of fresh casualities-to-be]].
|'''Private Mercio Grant''', ''[[Only War]] - Enemies of the Imperium'' }}
 
{{quote|'''Sam''': Is everything in space trying to kill me?
▲{{quote|This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If [[Killer Game Master|the game master wants to kill you]], you're dead.|Head Injury Theater, [http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF VERY STUPID MONSTERS.]}}
'''Niomi''': Space isn't trying to kill you. It's just that if you give it the chance, it won't pass up the opportunity.
|''[[Freefall]]'' [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff3400/fc03347.htm #3347]}}
 
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Everything Trying to Kill You]]
[[Category:Quotes]]
[[Category:{{TOPLEVELPAGE}}]]
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