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{{quote|''"You're not gonna help us?"''
''"Nah... warehouse doesn't have an access ramp."''
''"Wow, that... is a huge oversight."''|'''The Armeniman''' and '''El Chupacabre'''}}
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* [[The Pornomancer]] : El Chupacabre is a 70s porn magician who fights with condoms, dildos, and, if the situation calls for it, [http://www.goodwill-heroes.net/08-08-2011/bk01-ch02-pg08/ his long, hard wood].
* [[Wall of Text]] :
{{quote|
The collection of trashy romance novels listed [http://www.goodwill-heroes.net/05-09-2011/bk01-ch02-pg11/ page 11]. }}
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