Groin Attack/Real Life: Difference between revisions
Rescuing 3 sources and tagging 1 as dead. #IABot (v2.0beta9)
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** Such incidents seem to be commonplace in Seattle Mariners history. In 1980, pitcher Mike Parrott took a liner to the man area early in the season. Parrott went from 14-12 in 1979 (the team went 67-95) to 1-16 in 1980.
* This seemed to be missed by most people, but in 2006 when the Dallas Mavericks were playing the San Antonio Spurs for the NBA Western Conference championship, coach Avery Johnson made a last second player change, and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLV3a4CgYLE Josh Howard received some collateral damage].
* After a bungled plot to blow up Glasgow International Airport: [https://web.archive.org/web/20090825002459/http://current.com/items/88862229_i-kicked-burning-terrorist-so-hard-in-the-balls-that-i-tore-a-tendon-in-my-foot.htm I Kicked Burning Terrorist So Hard in Balls That I Tore a Tendon in My Foot]: [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Best. Headline. Ever.]] Because as ''[[Cracked.com]]'' [http://www.cracked.com/article/79_the-5-most-embarrassing-failures-in-history-terrorism_p2/ points out], they still make MEN up in Scotland.
** Indeed, he did deal a kick to a burning man whose cohort was fighting with police, as the two men had [[Moral Event Horizon|just attempted to attack a civilian transportation center]] with a vehicle bomb and failed, putting the recipient of said kick somewhere in the middle of a Venn diagram of [[Asshole Victim]], [[Acceptable Target]], and [[Kick the Son of a Bitch]] categories for most Western audiences.
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc5p3TmQx34 This slalom skiier] had an unfortunate encounter with a flag.
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** The version of her story I read said that he'd raped and beaten her regularly throughout their marriage -- it was his raping her ''anally'' that precipitated the attack.
** Slightly related, there are horrifying coral-eating things called [[wikipedia:Bobbit worm|Bobbit worms.]] If they ''eat coral'', imagine what those jaws can do to your flesh...
* '''Word of wisdom:''' Guys, if you have a girlfriend, do not, repeat, '''DO NOT''' be abusive to her, [https://web.archive.org/web/20130903044145/http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/02/william_kelly_shoots_daughters.php because one hapless bastard was abusive to his own girlfriend, and her father shot the punk in the testicles. With a 410 shotgun].
* A type of tiny Amazon River catfish (parasitic, feeds on blood -- fish, animal, human, it doesn't matter) called the candiru does a groin attack to males and females alike, mainly because that's the only part of a human or animal body (they swim into the gills of fish) likely to be in the water for an extended period of time -- it finds prey by homing in on urine in the water, swims up the closest available orifice, whether that's the anus, vagina, or even the ''urethra'', and '''extends spines to keep itself in place.''' Isn't nature wonderful?
** The fish is real, and is attracted to urea because freshwater fish excrete small amounts of this substance via their gills, where the candiru wants to go. The part about them defying gravity to swim up a stream of urine and attack a guy who's only ''whizzing'' in the river is what's an urban legend - if a person's groin is below water-level at the time they urinate, it's fair-game.
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* A news story on AOL about [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/12/catherine-kieu-becker-cut-off-husbands-penis_n_895771.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl1%7Csec1_lnk1%7C77488 a woman cutting off her husband's dick] [[Squick|and putting it down the garbage disposal]]...
** He got is penis mutilated because he wanted a divorce. According to one source, [http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/07/oc-woman-in-custody-for-poisoning-husband-cutting-off-his-penis.html she drugged him, tied him up, and then proceeded to chop off and dispose of his genitals in said fashion.]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20111103075048/http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-crotch-burning,0,2235307.story This woman] set her boyfriend's crotch on fire.
* Leave it to [[The Other Wiki]] to maintain an exhaustive list of [[wikipedia:List of cases of penis removal|recorded penis-severing victims]].
* [http://www.aol.com/2011/08/08/man-shoots-self-crotch_n_921590.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Caim%7Cdl1%7Csec3_lnk2%7C84779 This recent article.]{{Dead link}} The man in the article pulled a Plaxico Burress. <ref>He stuck the gun down his waistband and it went off and shot him.</ref> Except the bullet went through his penis AND his leg. [[Share the Male Pain|You can all wince now.]]
* Just type the words 'skater' and 'nuts' into [[YouTube]]'s search engine if you get an enjoyment out of [[Share the Male Pain|wincing.]]
* Marcus Junius Brutus, during the assassination of [[Gaius Julius Caesar|Caesar]], elected to stab him in the nuts. Some say that this was an indication that Brutus thought he was actually Caesar's illegitimate son, but how much credence can be given to the theory is debated.
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