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''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7380145/1/Hecksing_Ulumate_Crconikals Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals]'' (Which is supposed to be ''Hecksing Ultimate Chronicles'') is the third installment to the ''SBIG'' series by [[Tropers/Great Pikmin Fan|Great Pikmin Fan]] and the first one longer than a one-shot to be completed.<ref>Also of note, ''Zombie Attack!'', the work before HUC, ended on a [[Cliff Hanger]]</ref> Unlike its other installments, this one actually follows the story of [[Hellsing (Manga)|the original canon]] ''at first'' before slowly turning into an unusual adventure.
 
Alucard [[Card -Carrying Villain|Badguy]] is a powerful vampire who kills other, evil vampires by the word of Integra [[Unfortunate Names|Heck]]. Then, one fatefull night during an attack of a forest, he ends up needing to do an [[Emergency Transformation]] to Seras Victoria. Finding out that the vampire who caused this was a part of a former co-organization [[Punny Name|Heavensing]], Integra then sends Alucard and the newly vamperized Seras to "SERCH AND DESTROY TOES TRADERS." After a short battle, a spell that was keeping out all non-Hecksing or Heavensing vampires is broken with the death of Heavensing's leader... [[The Simpsons|Ned Flanders]] (yes, you read that right), who [[Driven to Suicide|commited suicide]] after Alucard killed his lover Father Alexander Anderson (yes, you read ''that'' right too). With this spell broken, the mysterious Millennium are now free to wreek havok (or, rather, UNLEESH HECK [sic]) on the [[Critical Research Failure|United Kingdoms of London]]. For most of the following chapters, Hecksing has to foil the various plans of the Millennium.
 
Also involved is a martian rockster [[Parody Stu]], Carl, who's [[No Celebrities Were Harmed|a blatant parody of]] [[Charlie Sheen]], the Major crossdressing as a part of a [[Show Within a Show]], a giant, mutaint Homer Simpson, a giant, non-mutaint [[David Hasselhoff]], and Rip Van Winkle becoming an overly sexualized [[Ms. Fanservice]].
 
{{tropelist}}
=== This fan fic provides examples of: ===
 
* [[Acrofatic]]: Major can appearantly run up walls, do improbable backflips, and dodge ''exploding bullets'', as he does in chapter 11.
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* [[Author Appeal]]: Great Pikmin Fan likes ''Total Drama'', ''Homestuck'' (starting after he published chapter 4), and as his username implies ''Pikmin''. Let's just leave it at that. The sexual variant of this trope is parodied with Rip.
* [[Ass Pull]]: Invoked with the Pikmin in chapter 10. ''Just where did they come from?''
* [[Babies Ever After]]: {{spoiler|Averted for Hecksing. Played strait with background characters John and Jade, although that's due to the shock value of [[Brother -Sister Incest|the implications]].}}
* [[Back for The Dead]]: {{spoiler|Walter in chapter 8, as well as everyone whom Alucard ate in chapter 4}}.
* [[Back for The Finale]]: {{spoiler|The Captain}}.
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* [[Early Bird Cameo]]: [[Sweet Jade and Hella John (Webcomic)|It is mentioned in the epilogue's intermission that John Egbert gets a female counterpart of himself in a lab accident named Jean. Jade also has a counterpart named Jude.]]
* [[Expy]]: Alucard (and later, Carl) of [[Half Life Full Life Consequences (Fanfic)|John Freeman]]. Complete with having a vehicle where it shouldn't be (in Al's case, a tank).
* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"]]: Tubalcain Alhambra is only reffered to as "Card Guy" throughout the entire fan fic. This is presumably because of his name being difficult to spell. Also, Schrodinger is reffered to as "Catboy" from the ending to chapter seven onwards. Then there's Lawyer Guy, who is an [[Original Character]] who's name is never revealed. ({{spoiler|He might not even have a name, due to being a robot.}}) Oddly, "Major" is just called "Leader" until he is properly revealed, but this sudden "name reveal" means absolutley nothing, especially since in canon he's seen as early as the second OVA.
* [[Four Is Death]]: Guess what chapter contained {{spoiler|Alucard dying, Walter revealing himself as a traitor, Jan showing how powerful his roboarm is, and is rather aptly titled "A Shocking Twist!"}} It's also arguably the chapter where the fan fic truley starts to diverge from canon's plotline.
* [[Full Frontal Assault]]: {{spoiler|Carl, Rip, and Seras end up doing this ''accidentally'' in the final chapter. Quimby points out that they basically went into battle while forgetting to put clothes on first.}}
* [[Half -Human Hybrid]]: {{spoiler|Hitler is part snake ala [[Naruto (Manga)|Orochimaru]]. He mentions that he was turned into this, but the reason how is never explained}}.
* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]] Pulled off by the ''narrator'' in saying he doesn't find Carl's naked butt attractive.
* [[Hell]]: There's four of them, actually. [[Lethal Lava Land|Red Hell]], [[The Lost Woods|Purple Hell]], [[Space Zone|Gray Hell]], and [[Eldritch Location|Black Hell]].
* [[Hypocritical Humor]]: The end of chapter 7. Zorin and Rip are basically allowed to have a foursome with Carl and Seras, but when one of the Millennium's soldiers asks to join ''right after'', Zorin slices him in half.
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* [[I Take Offense to That Last One]]/[[Disproportionate Retribution]]: In the first chapter, Alucard takes special offense to Anderson's "STUPID INTEGRA" line. Enough to eat him over it.
* [[Impaled With Extreme Prejudice]]: The fates of {{spoiler|Major and Heinkel}}.
* [[Kill 'Em All]]: The number of important characters left alive can be counted on one hand. Barley, though.<ref>Carl, Seras, Rip, Quimby, and technically the Captain</ref>
* [[Killed Off for Real]]: {{spoiler|Everyone who died. Except Jan and technically the Captain}}.
* [[Large Ham]]: '''''Everyone''''' has a point where they shout in all caps. Even unnamed characters. Rip avoids this until near the end of chapter 13.
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* [[Musical Assassin]]: Carl, with his [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie|Sonic Wave Guitar]].
* [[New Powers As the Plot Demands]]: Rip and Seras's "secondary abilities" as well as... most of what the Major does in chapter 11.
* [[Nice Job Fixing It, Villain]]: It's implied that Jan's Hostile Mission Takeover prevented the Millennium from controling Alucard. {{spoiler|Although Alucard dies instead}}.
* [[Nuke 'Em]]: {{spoiler|What happens to Alucard. Sort of}}.
* [[Oh Crap]]: Walter has one such moment when {{spoiler|Rip guides several bullets at him at once}}.
* [[Once a Season]]: Rip's outfit becomes see-through.
* [[Only Sane Woman]]: Rip Van Winkle speaks clearly throughout the entirety of the fan fic. She also seems to be the only character aware of the author. No explanation is given on this.
* [[Paper -Thin Disguise]]: In chapter two, Jan and Luke get past Hecksing Manor's gate guards by putting on [[Super Mario Bros (Franchise)|Mario and Luigi]] masks. ''It works''.
* [[Parody Stu]]: Carl was ''supposed'' to be a parody of [[Jerk Stu]], but Seras ends up filling that role if anything. An exception is Carl's introduction in chapter 3; he acts like a total jackass, but every chapter after he's wise and planning.
* [[Really Seven Hundred Years Old]]: As of chapter thirteen, Rip is no younger than ''one hundred''.
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* [[Running Gag]]: In the opening AN, "'''Disclaimer:''' The following fan fiction depicts stunts performed by several expert vampires and one badass [person who is relevant to the chapter, usually the [[Villain of the Week]]]. Do not attempt any of these at home. [[Total Drama Island (Animation)|Seriously, it could mess you up!]]"
* [[Scenery Censor]]: Carl's junk is "obscured" (this is a fan fic written entirley in text, so this isn't really necessary) by a laptop. A laptop which is explicitley stated as being "small." This doesn't really make any sense -- even aside from the aformentioned fact that this is text only -- by how "cansor bars" are used later on in the same chapter.
* [[Self -Deprecation]]: The last chapter pokes fun at the author's own slow update rates; one of his fan fics, which in the HUCverse appears to be a show, is nominated, but the clip consists of "clip not ready yet" on a black screen.
* [[Sequel Hook]]: {{spoiler|1=The very end of the fan fic, even after the closing AN, has a short scene of who appears to be Girlfriend from ''the Eds' EDventure'' building a device capable of reviving Ed and Edd}}.
* [[Sexy Discretion Shot]]: "Foursome censored this is vilent enoff i don't want it to go to M rating from T i men this was supposed to be K PLUS for kids for [[Hypocritical Humor|fucks]] sake!"
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** The spelling, grammar, and organization actually gets ''better'' as the fic goes on, an inversion of a common [[Troll Fic]] trend, but it's still pretty bad.
** Arguably worse than HUC is the [[Show Within a Show]] by the Millennium. From what was shown, the humor consists entirley of "Hahaha Nazis are racist" and "''[[Family Guy (Animation)|Family Guy]]'' sucks."
* [[Spot Light Spotlight-Stealing Squad]]: Carl. Arguably Rip.
* [[Take That]]:
** At one point, the fan fic compares Seras/Carl to [[Total Drama Island (Animation)|Courtney/Duncan]], and is implied to be compared to other pairings that go [[Slap Slap Kiss|in a]] [[Abuse Is Okay When Its Female On Male|related way]], a jab at those kinds of couples.
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* [[Wham Episode]]: Parodied with chapter 4. It's even titled "A Shocking Twist!"
* [[What Could Have Been]]: Several details have changed, ranging from small scenes to entire character deaths/sparings. And yet, the base of the plot basically stayed the same from before the fic started to after it ended.
* [[What Do You Mean ItsIt's for Kids?]]: Parodied. The first chapter was supposedly rated K+<ref>The fan fic was always rated "T."</ref>, which explains why Hellsing is called "Hecksing" and why Alucard cuts off Anderson from swearing. Eight chapters full of unfriendly deaths and (offscreen) sex, and we have the Captain's "actor" ''telling kids not to pick up random mushrooms'', something which should be obvious to anyone reading the fan fic.
* [[What Happened to The Mouse?]] What happened to Dracula?
* [[Where Are They Now? Epilogue]]: Mid-chapter, too. Although it mostly focuses on the side characters.
** Hecksing is appearantly also a band. And their Pikmin have replaced the Wild Geese/Hecksing Guards.
** Homer Simpson has been reincarnated to Hank Hill, who later on started this universe's version of ''[[King of the Hill]]''.
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** Sonic died. There's no given reason why; that sentence was, in fact, all his section said.
** Cartman had joined one of the Hitler Revival Groups, but was killed by Hecksing some time after.
** John and Jade had [[Opposite Sex Clone]]s of themselves created after a lab accident. They also run a show (a clip of which is seen briefly in Rip's award show), and [[Brother -Sister Incest|have gotten married and had kids.]]
** David Hasselhoff continues his job. He is one of the few characters to ''not'' die off, in an attempt to [[Defied Trope|defy]] [[Harsher in Hindsight]].
** Noah's still from a different anime. That hasn't changed.
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