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Honest John's Dealership: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''Vimes looked into the grinning, cadaverous face of Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler, purveyor of absolutely anything that could be'' ''[[Coat Full of Contraband|sold hurriedly from an open suitcase in a busy street]]'' ''and was guaranteed to have'' ''[[Fell Off the Back of a Truck|fallen off the back of an oxcart.]]''|''[[Discworld/Guards! Guards!|Guards Guards]]''}}
You're in a sticky situation; you need to get something and there doesn't seem to be a legal way of getting it. (It could be banned, rationed, from overseas or possibly just made in extremely limited quantities). If you're unlucky, you'll have to visit [[Trope Namer|Honest John's Dealership.]]
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Unlike the [[Friend in the Black Market]], Honest Johns are a fair bit more restricted in terms of their [[Character Alignment]]; in addition to being decidedly un-Lawful, their avaricious nature also precludes them from being Good. In the best cases, you'll have people like 'Del Boy' Trotter from ''[[Only Fools and Horses]]'', who would sell malfunctioning blow-up dolls to unsuspecting customers. On the flip side, there are the far more despicable types like [[The Alleged Car|alleged car salesman]] Mr. Wormwood from ''[[Matilda (novel)|Matilda]]'', who will happily sell vehicles prone to deadly accidents.
Expect him to wear an obnoxious outfit ([[Unmoving
Compare and Contrast [[Friend in the Black Market]], who also sells items at a premium but at least guarantees he's giving you the good stuff.
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== Anime & Manga ==
* The '''N'''ight'''M'''are '''E'''nterprises/Holy Nightmare salesman in ''[[Kirby:
** In the 4kids dub he's like a car salesman, while the original version is based on a polite and humble Japanese salesman—but the roles are just about the same.
* Nabiki Tendō from ''[[Ranma ½]]''. In one episode she became Ranma's "financée", rented him out to her classmates, tried to get Ranma to break up with her and pay a "consolation fee", then tried to sell him back to Akane for anywhere from (what's equivalent to) $19 to $50. As she said in another episode:
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* Disney's ''[[Pinocchio]]'' gave us the [[Trope Namer|actual Honest John]] who was a fox that cheated Pinocchio on several occasions.
* The Merchant at the beginning of the [[Disney Animated Canon]] ''[[Aladdin (Disney film)|Aladdin]]''.
* Similarly, in the Disney ''[[Hercules (
* ''[[An American Tail]]'' actually ''has'' a character named Honest John. However, he is more of a [[Loveable Rogue]] politician trying to get people to vote for him. Including ''dead'' people.
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* What do you get when you cross Honest John with [[The Mafia|Don Corleone]]? Probably something a lot like the Free Enterprise secret society in the ''[[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]]'' [[Tabletop RPG]].
* The Yasuki family from ''[[Legend of the Five Rings]]'' have been described as "the Wal-Mart of Rokugan."
* One of TSR's add-on books for 2nd edition [[Dungeons
* ''[[Magic: The Gathering|Magic the Gathering]]'' features a class called Mongers that...all have an ability that any player may activate, for the right amount of mana. Oddly, the Sailmonger grants any creature flying, which would be great...if she weren't blue, blue being the color that has the most flying already. The Warmonger, in red, has a similar problem, doing 1 damage to each creature without flying...and being in the color that is the most earthbound.
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== Video Games ==
* The ''[[Monkey Island (series)|Monkey Island]]'' games have fast-talking salesman Stan, who in the course of the five games has run a used-ship yard, a funeral home, an insurance company, a timeshare agency, and a law firm. And who sports a [[Unmoving
** Subverted (at least in Curse) because after being trapped in a coffin for some time, he decided to turn his life around; the insurance company was actually a legit business venture, so it's a shame that you can only progress by outright scamming him.
* Tiny, the used spaceship dealer in ''[[Space Quest]] I''. Of the 3 ships you can purchase from him, 2 will crash as soon as you get in them ([[Have a Nice Death|one fatally]]). And the third was just randomly parked next to the merchandise, and Tiny simply decided it was his to sell. As soon as you take off in it, the real owner shows up and demands to know where you're going with ''his'' ship.
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** Not quite - everything you sell is in working order, but you charge through the nose for it. [[Con Man|Euria]] is a better example, selling [[Sarcasm Mode|rare, wondrous]] items and accepting a wider spread of prices for them... with that spread centered at ''500%'' market value.
* [[Crash Bandicoot 1996|Pinstripe]] is implied to run one of a classic variety in the epilogue of [[Crash Team Racing|CTR]]. While there's no suggestion of quality, he does apparently seal a deal more quickly once his tommy gun comes out. A less typical example in the same game that references the the trope title would be 'Honest Joe's Wedding Ring and Rare Gem Outlet'. Joe was convicted for laundering Cubic Zirconias.
* Splodgy Dave in ''[[Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime]]'' comes off as this (he definitely got the name for it), but [[Gameplay and Story Segregation]] prevents it from affecting the stuff you buy.
* In ''[[Endless Frontier]]'' practically half the people you meet all get a turn at this. It gets Lampshaded quite a bit too, especially the pricing part.
* In ''[[Dizzy (series)|Treasure Island Dizzy]]'' you need to buy a boat to get back to the civilization. Conveniently, you meet a shopkeeper who'll sell you a boat for one of the treasures you can find in the game ... with no motor. For the second treasure you can buy the motor ... with no fuel. For he third you get the fuel ... but you still need to buy the keys for the motor with the fourth treasure.
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[[Category:Stock Characters]]
[[Category:The Trickster]]
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