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Ineffectual Death Threats: Difference between revisions
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[[File:death-threat-elmo.jpg|link=Sesame Street|frame|Yeah, I doubt it.]]
{{quote|''"You know, Angel, coming from you, idle threats are so... well, idle."''
Characters make death threats that they never seem to carry out. It's not uncommon to have people say "[[I'll Kill You!]]" all the time, only to have fights that never quite go that far, only stopping at wounding and/or maiming. Granted, "I'll '''seriously wound''' you!" doesn't sound quite as badass (though even that can be pulled off [[To the Pain|effectively]]), but at least it's more threatening than a [[Strongly Worded Letter]].
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When the threat is realistic but not immediate, see [[You Have No Chance to Survive]]. Subsequently and more immediately, [[Prepare to Die]].
{{examples}}
▲== Anime & Manga ==
* ''[[Bleach]]'' seriously loves this—there is hardly any show/anime with a lower ratio of death threats (tons, all the time) to actual deaths.
** If you ignore the filler arcs, no-one dies until {{spoiler|Hueco Mundo, when the arrancar start getting knocked off. Although they're really just glorified [[mook]]s, and are [[Dead to Begin With]], so they don't really count.}} Granted, it is really hard to die when you're technically already dead, which accounts for 95% of the cast. One wonders why anyone bothers with death threats.
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:: The ensuing scene has Sanzo reassuring Hakkai that he's allowed to stay with the group, despite his previous sins. Death threats don't get more ineffectual than that. }}
* Thorfinn's repeated death treats towards Askeladd in ''[[Vinland Saga]]'' is certainly treated like this by the latter. Askeladd knows [[Honor Before Reason|Thorfinn will only settle for a clean kill in an honourable duel]], thus he's safe from being stabbed to death in his sleep, and also how to push Thorfinn's buttons to make sure he loses all the duels.
* "I kill you" and "I love you" are the only things Hellwolf from ''[[Tentai Senshi Sunred]]'' can say. He's an [https://web.archive.org/web/20120510232333/http://www.tomopop.com/ul/15951-550x-crop.jpg adorable, foot-tall wolf plushie] who speaks in cutesy [[Baby Talk]], and his death threats [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSAujonWr1Q&t=00m34s tend not to be taken very seriously] by, well, ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPwXsd_7IEM&t=00m10s anyone]''.
* From [[Jeff Dunham]]'s routines, Achmed the Dead Terrorist's catchphrase is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go "SILENCE! I KILL YOU!"].▼
▲== Comics -- Books ==
* Occasionally, a [[Genre Savvy]] criminal will pull this on [[Batman]] or Robin. In one recent ''Robin'' comic, a [[Corrupt Corporate Executive]] asks, "What, are you going to dangle me out a window?" Robin says maybe, and the Exec waves it off, noting "Batman never dropped anyone, and you won't either." Batman occasionally has an answer for it, either, "Nobody's ever ''found out'' about me killing anyone," or pointing out that he may not kill you, but he can make you hurt for a very long time.
* ''[[Batman]]''
** The story of Batman's first Post-Crisis meeting with Superman has a scene like this. He corners one of Magpie's goons in an alley and tries to scare him into revealing his boss' hideout. The thug refuses, knowing that Magpie will kill him if he spills the beans whereas Batman won't. Batman threatens to do worse, by hurting him in a manner such that he "stays hurt". He pulls off a desperate escape, and Batman notes with some surprise that he's more afraid of his boss than Batman.
** An issue of ''Legends of the Dark Knight'' features a criminal Batman couldn't threaten to testify, because Deadshot was threatening him not to testify. The criminal pointed out that he didn't know what Batman would do if he didn't talk... but he knew exactly what Deadshot would do if he did.
* ''[[Buck Godot: Zap Gun for Hire]]'': [https://web.archive.org/web/20150428210003/http://www.airshipentertainment.com/buckcomic.php?date=20080717 Give me Winslow or I] {{spoiler|floss his teeth!!}}
==
* Parodied in ''[[A Knight's Tale]]'', in which Watt (Alan Tudyk) approaches a downcast Geoff and grimly informs him that if he betrays them, "your entrails will become your ''ex''trails..." and then, totally stumped for a suitably threatening phrase to continue his rant, settles for a flustered cry of "[[Angrish|... Pain! *Lots* of pain!]]"
* From ''[[The Dark Knight]]'':
{{quote|'''Maroni:''' If you're trying to scare somebody, ''pick a better spot.'' From this height, the fall wouldn't kill me.
'''Batman:''' I'm counting on it. ''(drops him)'' <ref>In point of fact, a fall from the fourth story of a building is ''more'' than capable of killing somebody</ref> }}
* While that Batman was still called out on it, he at least is scary enough to intimidate criminals. In the 60s [[Batman: The Movie|''Batman'' movie]] starring Adam West, he at one point (as Bruce Wayne) threatens to murder the members of his rogue's gallery when he hears they've kidnapped Miss KITKA. The effect is less-than-imposing.
* ''[[The Room]]'' has a scene where Johnny threatens to kill his friend Mark, even claiming he'll "Break ev'ry bone in yor body!" Tommy Wiseau's delivery doesn't exactly loan itself to being threatening.
== [[Literature]] ==▼
▲== Literature ==
* Quenthel to Pharaun in ''[[War of the Spider Queen]]''. {{spoiler|She makes good on them eventually.}}
* In ''[[The Princess Bride (novel)|The Princess Bride]]'', after capturing Westley, the Dread Pirate Roberts says to him: "Good night, good work, I'll most likely kill you in the morning." This happens every day, until Westley eventually becomes the pirate's successor.
* Subverted ''sharply'' in the ''Secret Wars'' novels of Simon Green. At different points, the hero Eddie Drood and the semi-anti-hero Walker are both faced with situations where someone believes they won't kill an innocent to prevent something worse...only to discover that both men are quite capable of it and pragmatic enough to do it. Walker is 'easier' about it than Eddie Drood...but either one can ahd ''has'' done it, contrary to the beliefs of their victims. If Eddie Drood says to refrain from interfering or he will kill you, ''he means it''.
== [[Live-Action TV]] ==
* There's a ''[[Xena: Warrior Princess]]'' episode in which a [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]] warlord wannabe calls her out on this. Basically, he calls her bluff on the whole pressure point "cut off the flow of blood to the brain" bit, since he has noticed that she ''never makes good on the threat'' anymore.
* ''[[Slings and Arrows]]''
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* In the ''[[Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'' episode "Unification II", the Romulans threaten to kill Spock if he does not cooperate. When he points out that they would probably kill him anyway regardless, the Romulans get angry and... leave. Giving Spock and friends enough time to formulate an escape plan.
* Throughout ''[[Supernatural]]'''s third season, Dean threatens to kill [[Classy Cat Burglar|Bela]] on several occasions. She never takes these threat seriously, knowing that despite her being a major source of their problems and a generally terrible person, he's too noble to just murder her outright.
* In the ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' episode "Real Me", Harmony threatens the heroine using a note saying "Buffy, come out and die." She blows it by dotting the "I" in "die" with a smiley face.
▲== Pro Wrestling ==
* [[Professional Wrestling]]. It's amazing how many wrestlers will threaten to kill, maim, torture, etc. each other, and then, when match time comes, they'll content themselves with a simple pinfall or submission.
** "I don't talk about reaping souls, I just do it." - [[The Undertaker]]. He's the embodiment of death, and yet he never kills anyone... Except [[Paul Bearer]]... Muhammad Hassan.
** It was painfully obvious [[Funny Aneurysm Moment|how empty all the death threats]] are when [[Owen Hart]] was accidentally [[Killed Off for Real]].
== [[Recorded and Stand Up Comedy]] ==
▲* From [[Jeff Dunham]]'s routines, Achmed the Dead Terrorist's catchphrase is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go "SILENCE! I KILL YOU!"].
==
* Subverted in ''Susannah''. After Olin Blitch pressures Susannah to have sex with him and has a [[Villainous Breakdown]], her brother Sam comes home. Susannah tells him about what happened, and he says he's going to kill Blitch. Susannah doesn't take him seriously and remarks sarcastically. Then Sam kills Blitch.
* Invoked in ''[[12 Angry Men]]''. Juror #3 fixates on the evidence that a neighbor heard the defendant yell "I'll kill you!" during a fight, and when its pointed out that people say that sort of thing all the time and don't mean it, Juror #3 says, "Oh no... if you say that, you mean it." Juror #8 baits him with insults until Juror #3 attacks him and must be held back by the others.
{{quote|'''Juror #3:''' I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
'''Juror #8:''' You don't ''really'' mean, you'll '''kill''' me, do you? }}
== [[Video Games]] ==▼
▲== Video Games ==
* Memorably averted in ''[[Final Fantasy]]''. "I, Garland, will knock you all down!" In the original Japanese, it's, "I, Garland, will kick you around!" The Japanese really do have a verb for "to kick around". Still ineffectual, though. It's not that he wouldn't have followed up on it, the threat just got inverted.
* A fan-made [[Text Adventure]] for ''[[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]]'' lets you make one to shadowy guy that gives the location of the traitor's hideout. The problem is that he's a cardboard cutout, making your threat look silly.
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** In the third installment, Kai Leng has the balls to [[Too Dumb to Live|taunt and threaten]] [[Bullying a Dragon|Commander Shepard of all people via email]]...after running away from his/her squad under close air support. Naturally, he doesn't last long, despite him calling in about half a platoon of Cerberus troops for backup during the fight. Part of the email was about Shepard not being able to take him on alone, too.
== [[Web Comics]] ==▼
* Belkar from ''[[The
▲== Web Comics ==
▲* Belkar from ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'' tends to consider any threat to his life as this (and to be snarky about it, too), since he has a high opinion of his fighting skills. To tell the truth, he's been right thus far. Especially with Crystal - he's a badass optimized for melee combat and she's a clueless assassin [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0616.html facing him head-on and now alone]:
{{quote|
'''Crystal''': You little twit, I'm gonna kill you!
'''Belkar''': Yeah, and I'm [[The Wizard of Oz|gonna drop a house on you and sing about how I represent the Lollipop Guild]]. C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic, shall we? I mean, if you said, "You little twit, I'm going to temporarily inconvenience you!" I'd think, hey, she might really mean it! }}
== [[Western Animation]] ==
* The Decepticons were constantly threatening the Autobots with death in The ''[[Transformers Generation 1]]''. Even in ''Rebirth'', Cyclonus tells the Autobot Head Masters "Prepare to Di-ee." Starscream has a silly moment or two with this, screaming die ''while being blasted onto his backside''! Megatron only uses alternative phrases to be colorful. That made it a bigger shock when the same line he had been using for two seasons finally was made good on when he killed Brawn with one shot in [[The Movie]].
* ''[[Futurama]]''
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'''Fry:''' ''(beating Zoidberg with his own severed arm)'' You bastard! I'll kill you, you bastard! }}
** Or when Fry drank Bender's last beer, or the time...
* In ''[[
* In ''[[The Venture Brothers]]'' the Monarch makes all sorts of bombastic (but unfulfilled and non-intimidating) death threats to Rusty Venture throughout the entire series. He does, however, manage to kill or defeat his other enemies every so often.
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