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Jack Butler's Original Evil Overlord List: Difference between revisions
Jack Butler's Original Evil Overlord List (view source)
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This is the original version of the infamous lists of "Things I'll do if I ever become an [[Evil Overlord]]" you've no doubt heard about. It was compiled in 1988 by several members of the Fidonet Science Fiction and Fandom email echo. The Fidonet list originated in reaction to a Saturday Night Live skit featuring several [[James Bond|Bond Villains]] who were on a talk show touting a book entitled "What Not to Do When You Capture James Bond". This list arose out of discussions regarding what sort of advice might be in that book, and was compiled and published by Jack Butler.
The version of the list that was compiled and published much later by Peter Anspach can be found [[Evil Overlord List|here]].
Jack Butler had this to say about the two lists:
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* I will be selective in the hiring of assassins. Anyone who attempts to strike down the hero the first instant his back is turned will not even be considered for the job.
* I will build machines which simply fail when overloaded, rather than wipe out all nearby henchmen in an explosion or worse yet set off a chain reaction. I will do this by using devices known as "surge protectors".
* I will carefully read and reread Machiavelli's The Prince, Sun Tzu's The Art of War, and Dr. Phillip C.
* I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the last category is only done posthumously.
* I will decree that all hay be shipped in tightly-packed bales. Any wagonload of loose hay attempting to pass through a checkpoint will be set on fire.
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* I will not use hostages as bait in a trap. Unless you're going to use them for negotiation or as human shields, there's no point in taking them.
* I will not resort to android duplicates to safeguard myself from capture by my enemies because:
** What I can construct others can emulate. If my minions are familiar with the use of androids they may make the mistake of letting the wrong one past their guard.
** My enemies can capture and reprogram one for the same effect.
** Any android can at any time decide that humans are inferior and commence extermination. Handing a killer android an already-assembled international conspiracy is considered "bad form".
* I will not, under any circumstances, marry a woman I know to be a faithless, conniving, back-stabbing witch simply because I am absolutely desperate to perpetuate my family line. Of course, we can still date.
* I will not waste time trying to make my enemies' deaths look like accidents. After all, I am not accountable to anyone, and my other enemies wouldn't believe it was an accident anyway.
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* While it may be tempting to use an Ultmate Weapon or Spell with a rare, almost impossible to exploit, Tiny Flaw to accomplish my goals, if many Penultimate Weapons or Spells with no such flaw can achieve the same effect, I will employ them instead.
{{Evil Overlord Lists}}
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