John Tyler: Difference between revisions

{{quote|"''As Vice President, Tyler [[Klingon Promotion|drowned]] [[William Henry Harrison|President Harrison]] in an Executives Only bathing pond. Everyone suspected a [[Values Dissonance|Savage assassin]], [[Klingon Promotion|and Tyler assumed]] [[Critical Research Failure|the throne of America]], along with the empty husband/father position in Harrison's grieving family. Tyler's achievements were overshadowed by [[Flat Earth Atheist|his apparent disbelief in witches,]] which lead to his transformation into one of the rare breeds of horse that Congress then had deemed [[But You Screw One Goat!|fuckable by law]]. Strange time, huh?''"|'''The [[Professor Brothers]]''''s [[Critical Research Failure|liberal]] [[You Fail History Forever|interpretation]] of Tyler's term as President}}

 

 

However, he was responsible for the annexation of [[Everything Is Big in Texas|Texas]], which is something worthwhile. He fathered eight children with his first wife, who died while he was in office, and remarried while he was president, fathering seven more children with his second wife (whom he married after [[Parental Abandonment|her father was killed in front of both of them]] by [[Explosive Overclocking|an exploding experimental cannon]] and she [[Fainting|fainted]] [[Crash Into Hello|into his arms]]). The second Mrs. Tyler asked to be addressed as "the Presidentress." Didn't catch on.

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:The Presidents]]

[[Category:John Tyler]]