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{{quote|''Ness used the Protractor!''
''Now, he can fairly easily figure out the angles of various things.''|''[[
Finally! You braved the [[Bonus Dungeon]], beat the [[Bonus Boss]], and now you can claim the ultimate reward: the... ''Golf Club of Hilariously Low Damage''? Seriously?
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* ''[[Final Fantasy XI]]'' has a bunch of fireworks and costumes that do nothing but look pretty. Thankfully, they only come from events and [[Item Crafting]], not any endgame boss.
** Creating and completing mazes in Moblin Maze Mongers will earn you Moblin Marbles, which can be traded for things like a shovel or toy hammer, neither of which has anything remotely similar in the game. Oh, and the toy hammer actually makes squeeking noises when hitting targets :D
* In ''[[
* ''[[Kingdom of Loathing]]'' has the items from the Summon Hilarious Objects spell, which include "yellow snowcones," "clown hammers," and "fake hands." The vast majority of these are detrimental, though a couple can be useful.
* One ''[[Guild Wars]]'' quest rewards you with a scythe with a banana for a head. It's actually a decent weapon for a starting dervish (no attribute requirements and better damage than starting scythes), but by time you get a hold of it, even if you have a use for a scythe at all, you've probably got a much better weapon.
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** The [[Poison Mushroom|"Potoin" and "Exilor"]] (sic) from ''[[Dirge of Cerberus]]''.
* Mother series:
** The Insignificant Item in ''[[
** ''[[
** ''[[Mother 3]]'' has a ''[[Brick Joke]]'' item. It's the doorknob that came off of Flint's house in Chapter 1. You acquire it after you beat the game.
* The HK droid Pacifist Package in ''[[Knights of the Old Republic]] 2'' is a completely useless waste of several thousand credits, but you get some awesomely hilarious dialogue when you install it in HK-47. It also gives him a small stat boost, so not completely useless.
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** Don't forget spitting, which actually becomes lethal with the right powerup.
** Several of the Joke Items give you +Humor points when you take photographs involving them, as well.
* In ''[[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' there is a dildo you can obtain relatively easily and use as a melee weapon. It's possible to kill people with it, but it's almost as weak as punching someone with the beginning game stats. The vibrator is hard to find and does the same amount of damage as the dildo so it's more of a novelty. The last one is flowers, which can be found all over the place and only real use is to give to girlfriends like all the above items.
** The flowers are a surprisingly effective melee weapon. Not [[Lethal Joke Item|lethal]], but about as good as a baseball bat and ten times as funny to [[Every Car Is a Pinto|blow up a car with]].
** ''[[Grand Theft Auto Vice City]]'' has several of these, including a screwdriver and a golf club. The golf club alone is worth it just for the animation of you hitting someone with it while they're down.
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[[Category:Video Game Items and Inventory]]
[[Category:Truth in Television]]
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