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Married to the Job: Difference between revisions
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This trope is of the key reasons why [[Everybody Is Single]], why many characters find it difficult to make a relationship last [[Girl of the Week|longer than a week]], and [[Dysfunction Junction|is one of the key causes of TV Divorce]]. As such, it's a major source of angst and relationship tension.
In some cases, this concern is justified—the character genuinely is spending too much time at work and is neglecting their other relationships and commitments, and the complaining spouse is genuinely in the right to call them out on it. This is particularly the case if the character has a career that, whilst it may be important, is not going to result in any fatalities or the Collapse of Western Civilization if they take a break now and then. In these cases, the character might be neglecting their significant others and relationships out of a genuine desire to provide the best for their families, having completely missed the point that it'd probably be better for their families in the long run if they actually spend some time with them now and again. On the other hand, they might just be too obsessed with their career and the perks, privileges and powers they have, and have Forgotten What's Important. Or because they're simply a [[Workaholic]]. If it's a happy story, then the character will gradually realize that they're focusing on the wrong things and resolve to make amends and spend more time with their loved ones; in a [[Downer Ending]], the character will lose everyone who is important to her / him and quickly discover that it's [[Lonely
In other cases, however, the complaining spouse's position is a little less clear-cut and righteous. While they might have a point about their loved one's spending too much time at work having a negative impact on their marriage / relationship, the fact is that some careers genuinely ''are'' demanding and their partner really does need to put in all that time at work in order to effectively do their job. In some jobs - medicine, for example, or the police - people really ''do'' need to work long hours, be on call 24-7, and / or expose themselves to dangerous situations, and lives genuinely ''can'' be lost if they aren't attentive to their work to a high degree, even if this means neglecting their relationships or families. In these situations (whether the writer intended it or not), the complaining spouse may come across as selfish, whiny and unfairly demanding, especially if it should have been obvious from the outset of the relationship that their loved one's job was going to demand a large portion of their time.
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* In ''[[Dykes to Watch Out For]]'', Sydney, whilst researching polyamory, has the epiphany that she ''is'' in a polyamorous relationship already- her work is her primary relationship, while Mo is 'the other woman'. This also happens with Clarice and Toni, with Clarice's job as a lawyer almost immediately put a strain on the relationship.
* In ''[[Watchmen]]'', this leads to conflict between Rorschach's psychologist and the psychologist's wife, considering the more [[Squick]]y aspects of Rorschach's backstory began to influence the shrink too.
* You could say that the [[Superman|Kents]] are both [[Happily Married]] and Married to the Job. Heh.
::There was a period, however, when Lois broke off the engagement because she couldn't handle being married to Superman, and wasn't sure Superman ''should'' be married when he had a world to protect. She said she tried thinking of it as like being married to a fire-fighter or a policeman ... but even they could take a day off. She came to terms with the situation eventually.
* [[Judge Dredd]] has no life whatsoever outside of his responsibilities and duties as a Judge. Even when other Judges may recognize a perp or victim as a celebrity personality from a vidshow, Dredd will not, nor would he care. Dredd is [[Celibate Hero|celibate]] and doesn't even celebrate his own birthday—not even when the Chief Judge and his closest associates at Justice Dept. get him a cake and gifts. The closest thing Dredd has to engaging in a leisure activity is reading the Book of Law.
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* ''[[Discworld]]'': Sam Vimes a text book example. He's constantly running off on his wife Lady Sybil, often in the middle of meals. In ''[[Discworld/The Fifth Elephant|The Fifth Elephant]]'' he's so preoccupied with the central mystery it takes an entire book before he realizes that {{spoiler|Sybil's pregnant}}.
** Also [[Inverted Trope|inverted]] in the same book, when Sybil accidentally discovers the location of a secret room in the embassy while measuring the floors for carpets:
{{quote|'''Sam:''' I don't want to sound impatient, dear, but [[This Is No Time for Knitting|is this a carpet moment?]]
'''Sybil:''' Just stop thinking like a husband and start listening like a copper, will you? }}
** Vimes does his best to defy this trope in ''[[Discworld/Thud|Thud]]!'' where he makes it his duty to return home in time to read "Where's My Cow?" to his son, no matter what else job-related might occupy his attention at the time.
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{{quote|'''John Henry Giles:''' "I know that look. I know that empty ring finger. You don't save someone who doesn't want to be saved unless you have something... anything. One thing. The reason other people have wives and families is that they don't have that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I've got my music; you've got... this."}}
* Captain Blackadder from ''[[Blackadder Goes Forth]]''. He's married to the army. The book of King's regulations is his Mistress. Possibly with the Harrods lingerie catalogue discreetly tucked between the pages.
* Detective Beckett on ''[[Castle]]'' gets obsessive about her job, although she does find time for a life outside of it. This becomes a form of [[Character Development]] thanks to the fact that earlier seasons see her frequently depicted as intensely focussed on her job (although less-than-pleased about it) and later seasons see her come out of her shell a bit more. It's hinted that it's a result of hanging around with Castle.
* The titular character of ''[[Bones]]''.
* Kate from ''[[Fairly Legal]]'', whose devotion to her work partially caused the break-up of her marriage.
* Dr. Jacqueline Wade on ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'' has her eleven-year marriage to husband Robert end because of this trope.
* Cmdr. Ed Straker from ''[[UFO]]'' destroyed his marriage over building and maintaining SHADO.
* [[The X-Files]] is this trope. Mulder is obsessed with his work, so much so that he can't even fathom a relationship or even many friendships outside of it. His one goal in life is to expose the Truth and find out what happened to his sister. Scully starts off with somewhat of a personal life and even goes on a date in the first season, but eventually becomes just as entangled in the work as Mulder. This ''is'' somewhat of a [[Justified Trope]], however. The [[Myth Arc]] cases aren't something that can easily be left in the office each night, and the line between work and personal life is obliterated. Especially when Mulder and Scully start getting abducted, their apartments are bugged, and are almost murdered several times in their own homes. Scully once acknowledges this self-destructive lifestyle in season six, asking Mulder if he ever just wanted to "get out of the damn car and live something approaching a normal life?" Mulder's reply? "This is a normal life." Also, work/personal life get even more entangled when {{spoiler|their son becomes the first gested human/alien hybrid, and thus all of the [[Big Bad]] villians from their work would like to kidnap him and/or kill him.}}
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[[Category:Just for Pun]]
[[Category:Magic for Beginners]]
[[Category:Married to the Job]]▼
[[Category:I Need an Index by Monday]]
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