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Pentagon Prices: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
{{quote|''I owed the government $3400 in taxes, so I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.''}}
The now-legendary tendency of the American military -- usually personified as [[The Pentagon]] -- to pay outrageously inflated prices for things that would be inexpensive for the average consumer, on the grounds that they were being provided by "the lowest bidder" and thus [[Blatant Lies|no cheaper price was available.]] As Christopher Cerf and Henry Beard put it in the subtitle for their book ''The Pentagon Catalog'', they are "ordinary products at extraordinary prices".▼
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This is unfortunately [[Truth in Television]], and was first brought to wide notice during the Defense Department procurement scandals of the 1980s when the government's own [[w:Project On Government Oversight|Project On Government Oversight]] revealed that the Pentagon routinely spent bought screws for US$37 each, hammers for $400, toilet seats for $640, coffeemakers for over $7500 and aluminum ladders for nearly $75,000(!), among other over-the-top prices. (And it didn't go away just because the government investigated it -- as recently as July 2018, [https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2018/jul/10/senator-demands-answers-pentagons-10k-toilet-seat/ senators were demanding to know why the Pentagon spent $10,000 on a ''toilet seat cover'' that could be 3D-printed for $300.]) For extra comic value, the price increase was often supported by a corresponding increase in the complexity of the item description -- it wasn't a "hammer" you were buying for your $400, but a [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness|"manually-operated impact-driven friction-fastener application system"]].<ref>Later investigations by [[w:Packard Commission|a presidential commission established for that purpose]] revealed that at least some of the excessive prices were illusory, caused by poor accounting practices that improperly averaged other costs into and over the items purchased; and some were the result of actual custom manufacture of small quantities to MIL-SPEC requirements. But there have been (far, far too many) genuine cases of fraud and mismanagement (caused by there being "no rational system" governing defense procurement) resulting in inexpensive supplies being sold to the military for exorbitant rates. (As, indeed, profiteers have done for centuries if not millennia.)</ref>
Naturally, this lends itself well to satire even now, over thirty years later. In any military-flavored comedy, you can expect to see ''some'' reference to the scandals presented as a joke. And even outside of works with a military theme, one can come across examples wherein the Pentagon's spendthrift ways are used for hyperbolic comparisons of frugality.
Despite an apparent similarity, has nothing at all to do with [[War for Fun and Profit]].
{{examples}}
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== [[Live-Action TV]] ==
* One episode of ''[[ALF (TV series)|ALF]]'' had the titular alien hold a garage sale where he tried to sell household items at ridiculously-inflated prices (a $600 screwdriver, for example). The only person interested in buying anything was an Army general.
== [[Music]] ==
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''To the Bing Bang to the Pentagon
''And I'm living in Florida for they made me a millionaire
''They gave me
''For I sold them to the Pentagon and they made me a millionaire
''So you sell them nails
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