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Polish the Turd: Difference between revisions
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* When all else fails, [[Blatant Lies|lie outright about the product]].
* Say "it makes a great gift", indirectly admitting that you know nobody wants it for themselves.
* [[Twilight (
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* Claim that it was "Too [positive adjective here] to show in theaters!" when it goes [[Direct to Video]] because no studio will give it the dignity of a theatrical release.
* Pay Jeff Craig from Sixty Second Preview to say something nice about it...although note that it's {{spoiler|a marketing company, not a review publication}}.
** Sony went the extra mile by creating a ''fake'' critic, [[wikipedia:David Manning (fictitious writer)|"David Manning"]], to attribute marketing-developed quotes to, and eventually agreed to refund customers' tickets for polishing ''[[Hollow Man]]'', Film/''[[The Animal]]'', ''[[
** In all fairness, their other [[wikipedia:The Critic|fictional critic]] never said anything nice about movies at all, so it kind of balances out.
* Print "The best film of [the current year]!" on the cover. Don't attribute it. Hope no one notices it isn't actually in quotation marks.
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== Music ==
* [[Loudness War|Turn it up until no one can hear how bad it is though the distortion.]]
* [[
* Pay radio companies on the sly to promote it.
* [[Wolverine Publicity|Get whoever is hot right now to do a verse/hook, or get whichever producer is hot right now to do the beat]] — [[Just Here for Godzilla|then hope people can stomach the rest of the song]].
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