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Porn Stache: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
[[File:
{{quote|''"...like the SAS commander, who has the sort of absurd facial hair that indeed would have given him a proud military bearing circa 1915, but nowadays just makes him look like a German porn star."''
|'''[[Zero Punctuation|Yahtzee]]''', on ''[[Call of Duty]] 4's'' Captain Price.}}
A style of facial hair that resembles the classic "handlebar mustache", but is thicker and bushier on top, with no other facial hair underneath. Often used to (at least in the wearer's intentions) indicate a guy's "rugged" or "manly" nature.
This trope has a [[Fashion Dissonance]] problem. For most of the 70s and early 80s, it was considered authoritarian and [[Rated "M" for Manly|MANLY]], and associated with cops, military men,<ref>It still has these associations in some countries, particularly where fashion is still somewhat stuck in the '70s. One of these in the Arab world--indeed, chances are that someone sporting one of these--in fiction and in real life--in an Arab country is a cop.</ref>
Not to be confused with a [[Porn Stash]]. If you try hiding your stash in your 'stache, it will hurt like the dickens, unless your 'stache is truly [[Badass Mustache|badass]].
{{examples}}▼
▲{{examples}}
== Anime
* Master Asia from ''[[G Gundam]]''.
* ''[[Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory]]''
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** Commander Bill Adama had one during the first couple of episodes of season three.
** Edward James Olmos shaved off his trademark moustache when he took the role of "Bill Adama". He regrew it for the "New Caprica" arc, {{spoiler|to symbolize the character's complacency during this period where humanity wasn't being killed off by Cylons, but ultimately shaved it off once humanity was successfully evacuated from the planet when the Cylons took over.}}
* BJ Hunnicutt grew one for the last few seasons of ''[[
* Nick Stokes, briefly, on the original ''[[CSI]]''. He mercifully got rid of it.
* Wash from ''[[Firefly]]'' has one in a flashback. Zoe comments that there's "something" she doesn't like about him. Since they eventually get married and he's cleanshaven in the rest of the series, presumably the lady just doesn't like porn staches. Of course, then there's the blooper version of that scene where both Zoe and Mal are also wearing porn staches....
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* Earl from ''[[My Name Is Earl]]''.
* Captain Stottlemeyer from ''[[Monk]]''.
* [[Cloudcuckoolander|Matthew]] grows one in an episode of ''[[News Radio]]'', much to the other characters' horror, and Jimmy James is
* Detective Ronnie Gardocki, during the first two seasons of ''The Shield'', had a porn 'stache before trading up for a full beard for the rest of the series (minus the second half of season six, where he was clean shaven). Actor David Rees Snell has over the years acknowledged the pros and cons of his choice of facial hair, noting that in spite of the various jokes people made about his 'stache, that it helped him stand out on a show filled with clean-shaven men and develop a fan following amongst viewers of the show.
* Most of the male cops in ''[[Reno 911!]]''.
* [[Almighty Janitor|The Janitor]] from ''[[Scrubs]]'' had one when he was a hurdle runner, before sleeping with the President's daughter (or so he claimed).
* Inevitably, one of the male leads in ''[[Swingtown]]''.
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* In the ''[[White Collar]]'' episode "Need to Know," it's revealed that during Neal's imprisonment, Peter had a mustache for about a month. After seeing [http://twitpic.com/277kdh a photograph], Neal comments that he was expecting something more ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]'' and less [[Super Mario Bros.|Mario]].
* In ''[[Supernatural]]'' Gabriel dons a fake porntache on a porn DVD he gives to the Winchesters.
* [[Brendan Brady]] in [[
* ''[[Jason King]]''. Just ... Jason King.
* In ''[[Drake and Josh]]'', Josh attempts to grow one of these (being a kids show, they didn't actually say that it was a "porn stache" but it was implied), but everyone hates it, including his girlfriend, who even refuses to kiss him with the mustache.
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Straight out of 1979
It looks like a porn star... }}
* With that in mind, several exist among [[Country Music]] singers: [http://www.nordestfm.ro/images/Image/Kix%20Brooks%281%29.jpg Kix Brooks]{{Dead link}} (of [[Brooks and Dunn]]), [[Alan Jackson]], [http://image.lyricspond.com/image/a/artist-aaron-tippin/album-aaron-tippin-greatest-hits-and-then-some/cd-cover.jpg Aaron Tippin], [
* John Oates of Hall & Oates.
* Paul Simon, during the [[Simon and Garfunkel]] days.
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== Newspaper Comics ==
* Anthony in ''[[For Better or For Worse]]''. It earned him one of his [[Fan Nickname
== Professional Wrestling ==
* Wrestler Scott Hall had one during his AWA days, when he was "Magnum" Scott Hall. He later shaved it before going to the [[
** And the man he was emulating, "Magnum" TA - who looked a little like Tom Selleck from ''Magnum PI''.
* Announcer Tony Schiavone, early in his career.
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== Webcomics ==
* Indie Pete in ''[[Diesel Sweeties]]'' [http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/1995 gets a job as a sex ed teacher] because he has one of these, and [http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/2006 loses it after he shaves] - apparently the moustache makes him look like "a man who knows his way around a set of organs".
* ''[[Shortpacked]]'' features [http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20080808.html a debate] on the thin line between a
* ''[[The Adventures of Dr. McNinja]]'':
** Dan McNinja even has a special ninja mask which covers everything but his eyes and the 'stache. It is even revealed to be an almost mystical source of authority.
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* [http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090530 This] strip of ''[[Unshelved]].''
* Warlord Damaske from ''[[Dominic Deegan]]'', who is referred to as "[[Fan Nickname|Warlord Mustache]]" by [[Snark Bait|snarkers]].
* Calamities of Nature makes a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130523042257/http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/archive/?c=302 reference to the porn stache.]
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*** Porn star Ron Jeremy, perhaps the most iconic example and probably responsible for the association with porn.
*** John Holmes, the inspiration for Dirk Diggler in ''[[Boogie Nights]]''.
*** And the original
** Ric Romero, consumer reporter for Los Angeles-based KABC-TV and [[Memetic Mutation|Internet meme]] extraordinaire.
** John Stossel, former ABC newsman and host of ''20/20''.
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* Athletes and sports figures:
** NASCAR has plenty of famous drivers with porn 'staches. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt, Tim Richmond, Neil Bonnett, Terry Labonte, Dale Jarrett, Mike Skinner...
** In [[Formula One]] the most notorious
** Mark Spitz, [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|who won seven gold medals in a single Olympic Games]].
** Baseball player Jeff Kent's famous facial hair has led to baseball announcers to jokingly refer to impressive or important home runs by Jeff Kent as "money shots".
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** Hall of Fame third baseman Mike Schmidt has sported one since his playing days.
** Two-time Vezina/Conn Smythe/Stanley Cup winning Hall of Fame NHL goaltender Bernie Parent of the Philadelphia Flyers had one of the most [http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/640/560/1974-75_bernie_parent_flyers_with_trophies_display_image.jpg awe-inspiring examples of the trope] in the history of North American professional sports during the 1970s.
** Broad Street Bullies-era [
** In fact, the Flyers in particular are no slouches in the porn stache department, with another Vezina and Conn Smythe coming from netminder [http://cdn.nhl.com/flyers/images/upload/2008/02/hexy_portrait.jpg Ron Hextall] in the 80s.
** Sportscaster and entertainment reporter Pat O'Brien.
** Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator [http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4086/5012430098_2bcf9083ea_z.jpg Brian Van Gorder].
** [[Keith Olbermann]] alternated between this and clean-shaven from his days as a sports anchor in [[Los Angeles]] until midway through his [[Sports Center]] tenure, after which he apparently hacked it off for good. Apparently he figured out that the look may work for some people ([[Your Mileage May Vary|YMMV]]), but it unambiguously does ''not'' work for him.
** Similarly, [[ESPN]]'s Chris Berman sported one early in his tenure on ESPN [https://web.archive.org/web/20120125061803/http://network.yardbarker.com/all_sports/article_external/chris_berman_rocking_the_mustache/3195134 and recently decided to give it another try].
** MLB Pitcher Carl Pavano - ''especially'' when it's not fully grown in.
** Possibly-former Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas.
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** John R. Bolton.
** Not uncommon among European royalty of the 19th and early 20th centuries, with [[wikipedia:File:Umbertoofitaly.jpg|King Umberto I of Italy]] having one of the most epic Porn Staches of all time.
** Some of his (numerous) detractors argue that the moustache [[Peter Mandelson]] used to have looked like one of these. [http://www.mattwardman.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/q-peter-mandelson-moustache.jpg Judge for yourself]{{Dead link}}.
** And of course, [[Josef Stalin]]. He even was nicknamed "Baffone" ("Big Moustache") in Italy.
*** And some of his comrades too, like Vyacheslav Molotov, Lazar Kaganovich and Andrei Zhdanov.
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** [[Nikola Tesla]]. Ironically, he was celibate.
** [[wikipedia:Günther (singer)|Günther]], the stage persona of Swedish singer Mats Söderlund. His entire act is indeed modeled on bad German porn stars.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20130603152639/http://www.mmalinker.com/wiki/images/1/17/Frye.jpg Don Frye], MMA fighter and the [[Badass]] Captain Gordon in [[Godzilla]]: Final Wars.
** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] had an uber-
** British Army lore has it that these are standard issue for the SAS, so the page quote may well be justified. However, considering the skills of a [[Super Soldier|standard SAS soldier]], it is a bad idea to mock them for this.
** ''Meet The Talking Car'', an old children's safety PSA, gives one of these to one of the cars. The car in question seems peculiarly affable towards children, claims to have known quite a few boys in girls "in my day", and adds that they are good.
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[[Category:Porn Tropes]]
[[Category:Hair Tropes]]
[[Category:
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