Porn Stache: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

 

 

A style of facial hair that resembles the classic "handlebar mustache", but is thicker and bushier on top, with no other facial hair underneath. Often used to (at least in the wearer's intentions) indicate a guy's "rugged" or "manly" nature.

 

Not to be confused with a [[Porn Stash]]. If you try hiding your stash in your 'stache, it will hurt like the dickens, unless your 'stache is truly [[Badass Mustache|badass]].

 

* Master Asia from ''[[G Gundam]]''.

* ''[[Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory]]''

** Commander Bill Adama had one during the first couple of episodes of season three.

** Edward James Olmos shaved off his trademark moustache when he took the role of "Bill Adama". He regrew it for the "New Caprica" arc, {{spoiler|to symbolize the character's complacency during this period where humanity wasn't being killed off by Cylons, but ultimately shaved it off once humanity was successfully evacuated from the planet when the Cylons took over.}}

* Nick Stokes, briefly, on the original ''[[CSI]]''. He mercifully got rid of it.

* Wash from ''[[Firefly]]'' has one in a flashback. Zoe comments that there's "something" she doesn't like about him. Since they eventually get married and he's cleanshaven in the rest of the series, presumably the lady just doesn't like porn staches. Of course, then there's the blooper version of that scene where both Zoe and Mal are also wearing porn staches....

* [[Cloudcuckoolander|Matthew]] grows one in an episode of ''[[News Radio]]'', much to the other characters' horror, and Jimmy James is revealed—to his eternal embarrassment—to have grown one once. See the quote page.

* Detective Ronnie Gardocki, during the first two seasons of ''The Shield'', had a porn 'stache before trading up for a full beard for the rest of the series (minus the second half of season six, where he was clean shaven). Actor David Rees Snell has over the years acknowledged the pros and cons of his choice of facial hair, noting that in spite of the various jokes people made about his 'stache, that it helped him stand out on a show filled with clean-shaven men and develop a fan following amongst viewers of the show.

* [[Almighty Janitor|The Janitor]] from ''[[Scrubs]]'' had one when he was a hurdle runner, before sleeping with the President's daughter (or so he claimed).

* Inevitably, one of the male leads in ''[[Swingtown]]''.

* In the ''[[White Collar]]'' episode "Need to Know," it's revealed that during Neal's imprisonment, Peter had a mustache for about a month. After seeing [http://twitpic.com/277kdh a photograph], Neal comments that he was expecting something more ''[[Magnum, P.I.]]'' and less [[Super Mario Bros.|Mario]].

* In ''[[Supernatural]]'' Gabriel dons a fake porntache on a porn DVD he gives to the Winchesters.

* ''[[Jason King]]''. Just ... Jason King.

* In ''[[Drake and Josh]]'', Josh attempts to grow one of these (being a kids show, they didn't actually say that it was a "porn stache" but it was implied), but everyone hates it, including his girlfriend, who even refuses to kiss him with the mustache.

Straight out of 1979

It looks like a porn star... }}

* John Oates of Hall & Oates.

* Paul Simon, during the [[Simon and Garfunkel]] days.

 

== Professional Wrestling ==

** And the man he was emulating, "Magnum" TA - who looked a little like Tom Selleck from ''Magnum PI''.

* Announcer Tony Schiavone, early in his career.

* [http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090530 This] strip of ''[[Unshelved]].''

* Warlord Damaske from ''[[Dominic Deegan]]'', who is referred to as "[[Fan Nickname|Warlord Mustache]]" by [[Snark Bait|snarkers]].

 

 

** Hall of Fame third baseman Mike Schmidt has sported one since his playing days.

** Two-time Vezina/Conn Smythe/Stanley Cup winning Hall of Fame NHL goaltender Bernie Parent of the Philadelphia Flyers had one of the most [http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/640/560/1974-75_bernie_parent_flyers_with_trophies_display_image.jpg awe-inspiring examples of the trope] in the history of North American professional sports during the 1970s.

** In fact, the Flyers in particular are no slouches in the porn stache department, with another Vezina and Conn Smythe coming from netminder [http://cdn.nhl.com/flyers/images/upload/2008/02/hexy_portrait.jpg Ron Hextall] in the 80s.

** Sportscaster and entertainment reporter Pat O'Brien.

** Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator [http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4086/5012430098_2bcf9083ea_z.jpg Brian Van Gorder].

** [[Keith Olbermann]] alternated between this and clean-shaven from his days as a sports anchor in [[Los Angeles]] until midway through his [[Sports Center]] tenure, after which he apparently hacked it off for good. Apparently he figured out that the look may work for some people ([[Your Mileage May Vary|YMMV]]), but it unambiguously does ''not'' work for him.

** MLB Pitcher Carl Pavano - ''especially'' when it's not fully grown in.

** Possibly-former Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas.

** John R. Bolton.

** Not uncommon among European royalty of the 19th and early 20th centuries, with [[wikipedia:File:Umbertoofitaly.jpg|King Umberto I of Italy]] having one of the most epic Porn Staches of all time.

** And of course, [[Josef Stalin]]. He even was nicknamed "Baffone" ("Big Moustache") in Italy.

*** And some of his comrades too, like Vyacheslav Molotov, Lazar Kaganovich and Andrei Zhdanov.

** [[Nikola Tesla]]. Ironically, he was celibate.

** [[wikipedia:Günther (singer)|Günther]], the stage persona of Swedish singer Mats Söderlund. His entire act is indeed modeled on bad German porn stars.

** [[Friedrich Nietzsche]] had an uber-Porn Stache.

** British Army lore has it that these are standard issue for the SAS, so the page quote may well be justified. However, considering the skills of a [[Super Soldier|standard SAS soldier]], it is a bad idea to mock them for this.

[[Category:Porn Tropes]]

[[Category:Hair Tropes]]