Samuel L. Jackson: Difference between revisions

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*** '''ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?'''

** WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN THE BACKSEAT ON BRAIN DETAIL?!

*** This is the '''''VALLEY''''', Vincent! Marsellus ain't ''got'' no friendly places in the Valley! 'Jules, this ain't my fuckin' town, man!'

** And you will know HIS NAME IS THE LORD, WHEN HE LAYS HIS VENGEANCE UPON THEE!

** Not even ''God'' knows what you're doing!

** He wants you to remember that ''all'' brothers don't know how to use guns, you racist motherfucker.

* Sergeant West in ''[[Basic]]''.

** He swears to GOD you will ''swim'' the canal.

** He is officially Section 8.

** Those of you he finds lacking will quit. Those of you who refuse to quit will suffer an accident. His base suffers three training accidents each year. Unfortunate accidents that he will not hesitate to repeat if you cross him.

** [[Fridge Brilliance|It did take the most powerful Sith Lord ever to kill him]], though. And even then he won the lightsaber duel against the Dark Lord. Something Yoda couldn't do. The novelization makes it quite clear that Windu had Palpatine beaten, and that only after Anakin arrived did Palpatine switch tactics. And that he is a superior lightsaber duelist compared to Yoda, despite the latter's greater power. In Star Wars canon, Windu truly is one of the baddest motherfuckers in the galaxy. However, [[Word of God]] by George Lucas confirms a [[Xanatos Gambit]] may have been played straight by Palpatine, as Mace clearly had him beaten in lightsaber terms, but the lightning duel was obviously staged.

** Apparently his in-universe self-invented fighting style, Vaapad, taps into the 'penumbra of the dark side' by [[Blood Knight|enjoying the fight and thrill of victory]]. Badass.

* Elijah Price in ''[[Unbreakable]]''. Something of a [[Double Subversion]] of his usual role as a [[Scary Black Man]], as Price is [[wikipedia:Osteogenesis imperfecta|frail due to a serious illness]], but turns out to be pretty {{spoiler|[[Evil Genius|darn scary]]}} nonetheless.

** {{spoiler|I should have known it all along... It was the kids! They called me "[[Meaningful Name|Mr. Glass]].''}}

* [[Sacrificial Lion|Russell Franklin]] in ''[[Deep Blue Sea]].'' (Killed by a shark, while ''indoors''!)

** That's one ''badass'' shark.

** It exploded at the end - that wasn't the C4, that was Sam.

** "Enough is enough! I've had it with these motherfucking SHARKS on this motherfucking -- [CHOMP]!"

* [[Shaft]] in the 2000 version of the film. (He's a complicated man, but no-one understands him but his woman.)

** Frozone even ''looks'' like Samuel L. Jackson ([[Ink Suit Actor|well, a cartoon version]]).

** [[Didn't Want an Adventure|He wanted to go bowling]].

** Who the hell can make the name "Neville" cool? Samuel L. Jackson, that's who!

** Even better is the fact his only motivation for taking up the role was ''the movie's title.''

*** It was just the working title, until he threatened to walk if weren't made official. The rest is history.

** The best part with the neo-Nazis was when he {{spoiler|tricked them into swallowing massive doses of laxative ... and as he walks out, leaving them writhing on the floor with their pants all wet and smelly, they're reduced to ''thanking'' him for tossing them rolls of toilet paper}}.

* Stacks Edwards in ''Goodfellas'', even though he was always late, he was even late for his own fucking funeral.

** Lampshaded in the comics. Who does Fury himself think should play him in a film?

{{quote| ''Why,'' '''''Mister Samuel L. Jackson''''', ''of course. That's not even open to'' '''''debate.'''''}}

{{quote| ''Sir! I'm going to have to ask you to exit the doughnut!''<br />

''I have [[Eyepatch of Power|my eye]] on you.'' }}

** He understands that the Council has made a decision. However, as it is a ''stupid-ass'' decision, he has elected to ignore it.

** And, ironically, the [[Marvel Universe|canon]] [[Nick Fury]] looks completely different (white with buzzcut hair as contrast to [[Bald of Awesome|bald]] [[Scary Black Dude]]), but they ''still'' made the Ultimates Fury how he is, most likely to ''invoke'' Jackson to play him in any movie adaptations, which, of course, worked.

** Add one mo' body to the body toll! May God rest this po' bastard's soul!

* Voiced the crooked police officer Frank Tenpenny in ''[[Grand Theft Auto]]: [[Grand Theft Auto San Andreas|San Andreas]]''. (He thinks Carl is a muthafuckin piece of shit gangbangin' cocksucka).

** He also got to recreate the "What" scene from ''Pulp Fiction'' with Riley, with a change in subject, but otherwise word for word.

** "I'll be dead on his ass like Spencer for fuckin' hire. I'll hunt him down and feed him his own testicles. ''And'' I'll do it in a jiffy! And I don't care if his mama there, his grandmama, innocent bystanders, little kids, babysitters, bill collectors, what''EVER!'' I'll leave his whole BLOCK filled with hot brass if I have to! AND YOU KNOW WHY? CAUSE I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK! [[Mood Whiplash|...you guys sure you don't want some breakfast? I got English muffins and peach jelly.]]"

{{quote| '''Mike Enslin''': [into his tape recorder] General manager claims that the phantom in room interferes...<br />

'''Gerald Olin''': I have '''never''' used the word "phantom."<br />

** Killed off-screen? No sir, Samuel L. Jackson tore off his own arm and beat the raptors with it like a club of pure awesome. After sparing them a killing blow he walked his way back to the mainland and built himself a new arm using his badass mechanical skills.

** Not true, his least badass role was in [[Coming to America]], an Eddie Murphy vehicle. He played a one shot thug who tried to rob the fast food place and got his ass kicked by Eddie Murphy with a mop. It was sad.

** That's also a duck, not a dick.

*** He plays a big black dick.

** '''CAN'T KILL ME, MUTHAFUCKERS!!!'''

* He apparently expressed interest in playing [[Implacable Man|The Saint of Killers]] - arguably the most [[Badass]] character in fiction - if they ever make a ''[[Preacher (Comic Book)]]'' movie.

** "I'm the Octopus bitch! I got eight of everything!"

* Dr. Harry Adams in ''Sphere''. (Are you afraid of dying, Norman?)

* He plays a muthafuckin' farmer who kidnaps a woman to her help in ''[[Black Snake Moan]]''.

* He plays a badass [[Cowboy Cop]] whose partner is played by [[Dwayne Johnson]] in ''[[The Other Guys]]''. {{spoiler|Until they get killed, and the movie's real protagonists step ahead}}.

** "I got these scars by putting foot to ass for my country".

*** What makes it badass is that he delivers it as a part of lecturing [[Ice Cube]]!!

* He plays Coach Carter in ''[[Coach Carter]]'', pushing his basketball players to hell and back to make them ''winners''.

** "DING DING DING DING DING DING DING! Good answer! And because you gave such a good answer, and gave the coach attitude, you get the grand prize of '''FIVE HUNDRED PUSHUPS!'''"

* Also, he managed to push a terrible movie into [[So Bad It's Good]] territory by playing the [[Affably Evil]] villain in ''Arena''.

* Played Sargeant Hondo in [[SWAT]]