Schlock Mercenary/Characters: Difference between revisions

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== Tagon's Toughs ==

 

A carbosilicate amorph, Schlock is the titular mercenary who joined Tagon's Toughs in the first strip. He outwardly resembles a mobile, talking pile of poop with eyes, and is possessed of a childlike lack of morals, enthusiastic love of violence, and an enormous appetite. He is also a remarkably adept warrior whose strange biology and unexpectedly sharp mind gives him many advantages over his opponents. And where that fails, Schlock compensates with guns; many, ''many'' guns.

 

* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: Mini!Schlock, having lost the majority of his memories, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-12-08 is like this.]

* [[Deadly Dodging]]: A variation. He has, on occasion, arranged for enemy gunfire to [[Blob Monster|pass straight through him harmlessly]] and hit enemies out the other end. (He generally has a look of "why do people even bother shooting me".)

* [[Extreme Omnivore]]: Is explicitly able to eat anything he can fit in his mouth, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-11 as long as it isn't strong enough] to "eat" ''him''. He even mocks human pickiness about what we eat [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-02-26 here]

{{quote|'''Ebby''': [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-11-09 We need a word that means "omnivorous like a forest fire."]

* [[Xanatos Speed Chess]]: After being an [[Unwitting Pawn]] for <s>Trenchcoat Monobrow</s> Timmons' plot, he suddenly figures out who the murderer is, arranges for Lunesby's escape, and creates enough chaos to keep Timmons from catching on until it's too late.

 

Captain Tagon is the human commander of the Toughs. He's a practical and straightforward officer, primarily interested in money, though he will rarely be possessed of principles beyond merely getting paid. Though he does not possess a high-level education, Tagon is a tactical genius and skilled soldier, and remarkably adept at getting money, and often manages to get paid multiple times for a single job.

 

* [[Selective Obliviousness]]: Elf's (since abandoned) crush on Tagon, ignored and misinterpreted in various ways by Tagon.

 

A human mercenary defined by an overly-large nose.

 

* [[Gag Nose]]: Which he puts in the way of harm in hopes of getting rid of since the company won't cover mere cosmetic surgery.

* [[Heroic Sacrifice]]: He tries this a few times thanks to the [[Gag Nose]].

 

A human scientist and officer who serves as Tagon's effective second-in-command. Kevyn is he genius behind the development of the teraport, as well as a multitude of other inventions. Though not as confident in command as Tagon, nor as competent a fighter, Kevyn is arguably one of the most dangerous of the Toughs because of his intellect and willingness to create truly terrifying weaponry. Toting antimatter bombs on one's shoulders also helps in a pinch. Eventually married to Elf and took her last name (to avoid covering her with his shadow -- he's already quite famous, and infamous as well).

 

* [[What Have I Become?]]: Kevyn, after Petey's blood-nannies rebuild him as an armored killing machine.

 

One of several human "grunt" mercs on the Toughs' payroll. Brad serves as muscle, and considering his sheer size after getting "boosted," he's very good at it.

 

* [[Older Than They Look]]: Had trouble getting into bars before getting un-scrawnied.

 

The human chief medical officer for the Toughs after he previous doctor suffered a bad case of unexpected death. ''She'' was the daughter of a couple who were too mentally handicapped to be allowed to naturally bear children, and was thus gene-tailored to be both hyper-intelligent and an exotic dancer. Spent most of the strip engaged to Reverend Theo, and eventually married him.

 

* [[Beware the Nice Ones]]: Play with a company member's heart, and the sweet, gentle doctor is [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-06-06 likely to go all Mama Bear on you.]

* [[Designer Babies]]: The negative side of this trope doesn't seem to exist in the setting, at least as far as we've seen.

* [[Gender Blender Name]]: Dr. ''Edward'' Bunnigus

* [[Hospital Hottie]]: [[Lampshaded]]

* [[Ms. Fanservice]]: [[Lampshaded]]

* [[Tomboyish Name]]: The doctor is ''prominently'' female, in spite of her name.

 

A genetically-constructed ambassador that the Toughs were originally supposed to deliver to a diplomatic conference. It turns out that the species that created him designed him to be a living bomb. Once he was deactivated, he joined the Toughs as both a negotiator and cook.

 

* [[Why Am I Ticking?]]: Gets the ability to set himself off after Schlock points this out.

 

An uplifted elephant who joined the Toughs after the a particularly lucrative job sent many of the crew into retirement. Touchy about his "race."

 

* [[Uplifted Animal]]

 

Previous human second-in-command to Tagon, Trihs is a marginally-competent but mentally-limited officer; reliable, in his own way, but not especially bright, and mostly serves as either comic relief or a punching bag for threats. Tagon allowed him to join due to their service together in Celeshul's Terraforming Wars. He is actually a lot more intelligent than even ''he'' realizes.

 

* [[Sdrawkcab Name]]: ...Geddit now?

 

A human officer who serves as one of the Tough's tank crewmen.

 

* [[Cute Bruiser]]

 

A Unioc officer who serves alongside Schlock as a platoon commander and general face-wrecker. An excellent shot, as his single eye is the same size as a human head, and serves up a substantial part of the Tough's snark ordnance.

 

* [[Super Senses]]: [[Incredibly Lame Pun|See]] that big eye? Not only can it shift focus rapidly to provide depth perception, it can [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-07-03 distinguish details too small for most humans to see]. For all that we binoc types holler about stereo vision, we're not especially "[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-10-23 well-endowed]".

 

An AI that was formerly the mind behind a holographic boy band, Ennesby joined the Toughs first as a stowaway in their computers and then as an AI companion who piloted the Serial Peacemaker. After that ship was destroyed, he remained with the Toughs mostly because they were fun and he was their friend. Most commonly embodied as a "maraca" node.

 

* [[Weapons Grade Vocabulary]]: [[Trope Namer]], from [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-20 this strip].

 

Formerly a grunt, Elf is a human officer who rose through the ranks to serve as a tanker, then an officer, and finally as one of the highest-ranking members of the Toughs. Elf has had romantic troubles throughout her stint with the Toughs, with most of the men she gets involved with ending up dead. Settled into a stable and non-dead relationship with Kevyn and eventually they married.

 

* [[Tsundere]]: Although she eventually [[Incredibly Lame Pun|grew out]] of most of it. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-09-23 Most].

 

 

* [[Mad Scientist]]

*** And if he sold Xinchub and Co. to Int-Aff-Int [[Witness Protection|in exchange for protection]] (which ''is'' quite plausible, now that we know their agent Usar soon was messing with two black ops directly related to LAZ/RED nannies, and knew who and what to watch for), his new identity may be capable of passing serious background checks, which greatly expands the possible set. He could be Doc Wojtkiewicz from U.N.S. Athens... Or he could turn himself into an uplifted orangutang and become "agent Manis" - then all this time he was hiding right behind Admiral Emm's back on Morokweng, trying not to snicker, while she {{spoiler|hunted Xinchub and the witnesses}} for crumbs from Todd's kitchen.

 

A Frellenti NCO, Legs is a tall, flightless, and very fast avianoid creature. Though she lacks arms, she makes up for it with a pair of cannons mounted to her helmet and a prehensile tongue that can operate firearms without trouble.

 

* [[The Watson]]: Quite a few of her down-time interactions with the rest of the 'Toughs (mostly Schlock) involve her acting this way. Judging by how she interacts and reacts to them, the impression is that she didn't have much contact with humans before joining.

 

Nick is another of the Tough's big, hefty, musclebound human bruisers. He eventually retires from the Toughs after refusing to undergo Petey's corrective surgery on the Toughs' memories.

 

* [[Those Two Guys]]: With Shep before the latter's retirement.

 

The Very Reverend Theo Fobius is a human chaplain who joined the Toughs mostly because no other chaplain was willing to sign onto a mercenary crew. Theo serves as the moral center of the mercenary crew; this is not an oxymoron, though he often has to struggle with his flock of semi-sociopathic guns-for-hire. Though he is a competent fighter in his own right, his greatest skill is with the sword. Engaged to and eventually married to Doctor Bunnigus.

 

* [[Non-Action Guy]]: Most of the time. The company Reverend probably shouldn't be on the front lines in the first place, but he's capable of defending himself in a pinch.

 

A human demolitions specialist who suffers from paranoia, megalomania, and obsessive lot for explosives. Naturally, he's perfect for a mercenary crew.

 

* [[Spell My Name with an "S"]]: The strip isn't consistent about whether his name is "Pibald" or "Piebald." ("Pibald" is the current spelling.)

 

A human demolitions specialist who is more mentally stable than Corporal Pibald, but still possesses an obsessive love of explosives and the electronics associated with them.

 

* [[Killed Off for Real]]

 

The Tough's human lawyer <ref>Not an oxymoron</ref> who joined after being targetted by the Partnership Collective. Massey is a skilled legal representative and can fight in a pinch, though his battles are most often waged in the courtroom or in settlements with other lawyers.

 

* [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]]/[[Sophisticated As Hell]]: Massey's legal vocabulary is easily larger than most of the company's. That said, he has been known to [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-08-24 beat people up] [[Crowning Moment of Funny|with big words]].

 

Another oversized human bruiser, Shep is characterized by a "symbiote" visor over his eyes. Eventually retired and returned to his home at Haven Hive.

 

* [[Those Two Guys]]: With Nick before he retired.

 

An AI that Tagon created specifically to be loyal to him after Ennesby demonstrated his independence by getting the Serial Peacemaker blown up. TAG eventually ends up being rebuilt with a female avatar named Tagioalisi.

 

* [[Shout-Out]]: Originally he spoke only in quotes from ''[[Warcraft II]]''.

 

Masterwork of Para - the warship AI built from scratch, since TAG experienced fatal breakdown and needed replacement, and Ennesby never was a proper tactical ''or'' ship AI in the first place.

 

* [[Spaceship Girl]]: Female personality (with a fitting holographic avatar, of course) was made on purpose. A mix of [[Sassy Secretary]] and tactical genius worked out surprisingly well.

 

Two more changes of hardware, one more "friendly parity check", and we meet Tag 3.0 - except not "Tag" now.

 

'''Chinook''': If you read the whole list every time I show up, I'm going to stop calling ahead. }}

 

A gift from Karl Tagon (delivered by Petey) to Kaff Tagon, Tailor is a bot that was originally intended to design new uniforms for the Toughs for Kaff Tagon's birthday. he has since found far greater utility as a member of the team, especially after Para got a hold of him.

 

* [[Took a Level in Badass]]: '''[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-18 I AM A SURGEON.]'''

 

An enthusiastic Fobott'r mercenary, whose species possesses four arms. Andy is usually in the company of Legs or Schlock, and his multiple limbs make him an effective combatant.

Hooked up with Tandersil thanks to Schlock, however unlikely this may sound.

{{quote|'''Thurl:''' I'll put down 'very enthusiastic' and 'seen too many John Woo movies.' }}

 

A Fobott'r mercenary from Sanctum Adroit, with rather dishevelled yellow-green crest. After [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-10-22 hearing Schlock's war stories], being thrown through a wall by Schlock resisting arrest and fighting alongside the Toughs against pirates, she took some interest in Toughs and became target of Schlock's attempt at match-making. One moderately disastrous date with Andy later, she decided that he's a good chap, but "[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-02-01 has been away from his kin for too long]", and [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-02-12 that Kaff Tagon is "their kind of a hero"] (he shares [[Band of Brothers|an important part]] of Fobott'r views, which makes him a good prospective commander). So she transferred and brought along two more [[Battle Couple|pairs]] of Fobott'r mercenaries (they are spaceship clans, after all).

 

* [[Multi-Armed and Dangerous]]

 

A human officer who serves as the Toughs' administrator.

 

* [[The Smart Guy]]: Thurl is the smartest human on the ship after Kevyn, and often assists in matters such as contracts, stock market trading, and other administrative duties.

 

A young human girl who joined the Toughs as a "roboticist." An expert in all things mechanical, she is just as adept as Kevyn when it comes to machinery and adept at general science, although her skills are more focused on AI and robotics. Unaccustomed to combat, Para has some issues with violence, and the first two violent escapades she encountered left her a nervous wreck afterwards.

 

 

 

A soshiko (near-sapient cybernetic space serpent of Esspererin manufacture) "adopted" by Ventura as a pet and personal transport.

 

== Other Protagonists ==

 

Kevyn's sister, Breya has been with the Toughs on and off throughout the strip, as well as arranging for a coalition strike against the Wormgate Corporation, research into the nature of the wormgates and the Gatekeepers, and eventually landing a lob as an ambassador to the Fleetmind. Married to Haban.

 

* [[Offscreen Moment of Awesome]]: the whole of the story behind Breya's gathering and commanding of a massive fleet to depose a [[Sufficiently Advanced Alien]] race, including what must have been an incredible battle - entirely offscreen.

 

A former UNS military intelligence officer, Kathryn encountered the Toughs while coordinating a group of vandalizing free-runners inside Mall One. She kept getting dragged into weird scrapes with the Toughs, working for them on-again-off-again. Of course, she noticed their uncanny ability to get into troubles.

 

* [[Retired Badass]]

 

Uplifted orangutan, captain in the UNS, used to work on ''Morokweng'', the battleplate/HQ of Fleet Admiral Manyara Emm. Until it was destroyed.

 

* [[Uplifted Animal]]

 

Doyt Gyo is a human bounty hunter who is cybernetically grafted to an extremely advanced AI named Haban. After running afoul of the Toughs, Haban is modified to have a greater say in things, resulting in the two personalities merging into one mind. Doythaban briefly served as an officer with the Toughs before his fellow bounty hunters set out to capture him.

 

* [[Put on a Bus]]: We don't know what happened to him after he was captured by the UNS.

 

Haban is a gate-clone of Doyt Gyo/Haban, who caught a bad case of cranial laser that destroyed most of the Doyt personality center. After the brain was reconstructed, Haban took full control over the remaining body and mind. Haban is currently married to Breya and partially connect to the Fleetmind.

 

* [[Wetware Body]]: The Doyt (human) part of him was killed when his brain got shot out by a plasma rifle, but the Haban (robot) part was intact and, with medical treatment, was able to salvage the body for his own use.

 

 

* [[A.I. Is a Crapshoot]]: Non-evil example, but he ''clearly'' did not work out as intended.

{{quote|'''[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-02-15 Lota]''': You should call me Lota, Longshoreman of the Apocalypse. Hero of the Stationwaist, Foodlord of the Eatonrun... Portlord of the Poles, Grand Marshall, and King of the Second Age of the Free City State of Credomar! <ref>You may use pronouns, but only occasionally.</ref>}}

 

Experienced, tough, and competent in her job, if not always at her optimal depth in the sort of madness that usually surrounds the Toughs.

 

* [[By-The-Book Cop|By-The-Book]] Rent-a-Cop / [[Law Enforcement, Inc.]]: As a Major of Sanctum Adroit.

* [[Failure Knight]]: Identified by Karl Tagon as "a sullied paladin questing for redemption".

* [[Hero Antagonist]]: In her first arc.

* [[Knight in Sour Armor]]: Definitely "jaded, but still striving" sort.

* [[Redheaded Hero]]

* [[Ship Tease]]: She's of age comparable with Kaff's, shares his interests and is not rotten, what did you expect? That the reorganization of the company by now-Commodore Karl Tagon left her and Kaff in the same rank [[I Want Grandkids|should be even less of a surprise]].

 

{{quote|'''UNS Secretary-General<!-- (The identity of whom is a spoiler) -->''': I was about to extend an offer to you, but apparently I am being played.

'''Narrator''': This is Petey, a massively parallel melded intelligence, and Emperor Pius Dei of the Plenipotent Dominion. He is, bar none, the most powerful single entity in the galaxy.

* [[Xanatos Gambit]]: So very much. One of his plans was found out (by another AI) only because anybody else ''would have been too short-sighted''.

 

The retired father of Kaff Tagon, Karl Tagon was a famous and skilled general who still knows how to fight and is more than willing to jump back in as-needed.

 

* [["Well Done, Son" Guy]]: "[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-06-02 try to imagine]", indeed.

 

The oldest human being (if you count birth date) Gav was a scientist frozen in cryogenic suspension in the 21st century and thawed out in the 31st. He worked with Kevyn on a project relating to the Gatekeeper buthuundi, and a quick bit of thinking on his part resulted in nine hundred and fifty million gate-clones of Gav being created, turning him into a significant ethnicity and economic force in his own right.

 

* [[You Gotta Have Blue Hair]]

 

 

* [[I Am the Noun]]: She understands the whole "being the Ambassador" thing quite well. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-06-23 And head-on.]

 

 

 

* [[Iron Woobie]]: Initially. She suffers various let-downs, unpleasantness and threats to sanity again and again. Then she becomes more of an active player, see below.

* [[Knight in Sour Armor]]: Even Schlock noticed her "grouchy" moods. But she still tries.

* [[Wide-Eyed Idealist]]: Not for long.

* [[Field Promotion]]: Captain Sorlie acting in the field and hiring private contractors sounds more solid. Also, it sounds like another excuse for fast-tracking from Bala-Amin (though Sorlie ''is'' good and demonstrated she deserves this).

 

Captain in Internal Affairs of the JSC - at least [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-09-20 when he's introduced].

 

* [[Uplifted Animal]]: Ursumari - polar bear humanoid-ified just enough to walk upright (though still can run on all four) and use fingers.

 

A fun-sized superweapon illegally created by an UNS covert agent (and later possibly upgraded by a high-end AI). Since AI is officially rated as fully sapient, legally it cannot be simply turned off.

 

'''Tenzy''': I'm blushing. Let me get that door for you, hon. }}

 

Grey-haired, handlebar-moustachioed senior officer of Sanctum Adroit.

 

* [[Seen It All]]: This dude is amazingly unflappable, and barely surprised at all even when introduced to utterly crazy circumstances.

 

One of the Fobott'r mercenaries from Sanctum Adroit who joined the Toughs.

 

** Then presbyter of all Fobott'r decided that since she led non-Fobott'r with impressive results, she can be officiated as a "clan mother" of non-traditional type, which apparently meant she is given pretty much free rein to capitalize on the success.

"Daggermother, Hot Mess Response Team". A senior security officer of Urtheep Industries, sent to sort out the weird mess one of their less competent bosses allowed to happen, after he hired the Toughs to clean it, but hopelessly underestimated how hot it is (and thus how fast it may expand).

 

== Antagonists ==

 

Head of a human mafia that Kevyn's time clone scammed out of a ton of laundered money through lottery and gambling fraud, who goes after him in retaliation.

 

* [[Revenge Before Reason]]: Petey offers to pay her 25 times what she lost to Kevyn Andreyasn's manipulations to fund his plans, in exchange for releasing the captured Kevyn [[Time Travel|time traveling]] copy and Karl Tagon to Petey. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-10 She refuses, instead demanding "satisfaction".] And this is after Clone!Kevyn offered her double what he stole to let them go.

 

A rebellious alien commander who the Toughs were contracted to take down. A lot more savvy than expected, but not quite savvy enough to handle a supersoldier-boosted Kevyn and Schlock.

 

* [[Singing in the Shower]]: He really enjoys the acoustics. Due to some weird biology of his species, though, the aural stimulation can in fact be physically pleasurable.

 

A ranking UNS officer who was instrumental in a human immortality project. Xinchub has been one of the series' most enduring villains, due to a combination of slimy manipulations and sheer cleverness.

 

* [[Well-Intentioned Extremist]]: Based on his own recollections and [[Word of God]], he started out as this, and may still be one. But he [[Start of Darkness|grew to enjoy the horrible things he had to do]].

 

A subordinate of Xinchub, Jevee is a "purp" - a genetically-modified human subspecies capable of photosynthesis. Was previously a skilled bounty hunter before being briefly placed in control of the Toughs when they were contracted by Xinchub.

 

* [[Ship Teasing]]: With Tagon, though he's not interested.

 

* [[Brutal Honesty]]: When she can afford it, makes no bones about more morbid sides of her job.

* [[Government Conspiracy]]: Leads an intelligence agency which finds itself on both ends of black ops with other people and agencies in its own polity often enough to be declared rogue wholesale.

* [[Hypocrite]]: She called Kowalski a monster and is surprised when he mentions having conscience... but his latest "monstrous" deeds were all performed under her command, and later his clone mentions that "she always wanted ''more'' like me".

* [[Off-Model]]: Emm is [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-12-02 introduced] in book 9 with four rank pips on each shoulder, and [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-21 keeps that number] until book 13 part III, when, between [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-09-23 two] [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-12-01 appearances], the number goes down to three pips per shoulder for no apparent reason, and stays at three up to and including the [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-01-07 last time] she's seen in uniform, in book 15.