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Line 4:
** ''[Singing]'' "Oh my god. [[Sanity Slippage|IM CRAZY!]]"
* I have a soft spot for this scene in the episode [[A Day in the Limelight|where Dr. Kelso narrates]] and has to deal with an Iraq war vet:
{{quote|
* Season 2 has some I can think of:
** Three words: Wild, uncontrollable urination.
Line 11:
* Doctor Cox, correcting Carla to the tune of [[Westminster Chimes]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY "WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!"]
* This exchange from season 4 really got me. Drs. Cox and Kelso are reminiscing about when doctors were respected and treated as heroes, leading to this:
{{quote|
'''Cox''': Those were the good old incredibly disturbing days Bob. }}
* "Turk, we already played Giant Black Doctor. You remember what happened. People ran."
* The Janitor confessing his crazy to his girlfriend Lady. It's especially awesome because Neil Flynn (Janitor's actor) improvised the whole thing.
{{quote|
'''Dr. Kelso''': (watching) Ha! I love a good trainwreck! }}
* Betrayal Five and the whole sequence that proceeds it.
Line 23:
* From the series finale: "Hooch ''is'' crazy!"
* The episode "My Office" involves a patient with a light bulb stuck in his ass.
{{quote|
'''Dr. Cox''': Well, Bob, either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea. }}
* The entire '[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0C4Ps3ObRk&feature=related Gay Jungle Fever]' sequence.
{{quote|
'''J.D.:''' Snap out of it! Abort! Abort! *''Comes out of the 'Imgine Spot' flaling around''* Stop it, I don't have Gay Jungle Fever! }}
* This sequence from ''My Way or the Highway:''
{{quote|
'''Mrs. Piel:''' Why is my husband being discharged?
'''Elliot:''' Look, Mrs. Piel we really can't--
'''Turk:''' AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH SO COOLLD!!! }}
* When J.D. discovers that he has a medical condition that will cause him to lose conciousness when he poops...after sneaking into his neighbor's house to do just that.
Line 44:
* The rare J.D. rant from "My TCW" in season two. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ9otA_uF4Q Doesn't get much better.]
* Dr. Cox and Janitor becoming friends at a bar and this little exchange happens:
{{quote|
'''Janitor''': Oh, that's my fault. I've been filling his shampoo bottle with dog sweat.
'''Dr. Cox''': Dogs don't sweat.
'''Janitor''': Then what the hell am I putting in there? }}
* JD's attempt to click his heels together when he's singing about how his interns respect and fear him. Words cannot do it justice. Therefore, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1oR2XNZmno watch for yourself].
Line 62:
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv--XgkpL18 JD eating Turk's "special brownies".] Easily one of the best JD moments ever.
* JD trying to avoid admitting kissing Carla to Turk. JD's face during his "response" may be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=435N7itVTOM&feature=related the funniest thing I've ever seen].
{{quote|
'''JD''': Bllgl. Nnnnnnn... }}
* This:
{{quote|
'''JD''': Oh, Mr. Taylor, let me worry about that. *thinking* ''OH MY GOD HE'S GONNA DIE!!!'' }}
* Personal favorite because of Dr. Cox's reaction:
{{quote|
'''Dr. Cox''': Uh, things that ruined my life, things that took half my stuff, things with sharp edges! }}
* "Drill-fork it's a drill and foooork! Mostly fork!"
* [[Tal 9922|I]] was starting to get worried that, while the 9th season looked promising, the new lead just wasn't [[Replacement Scrappy|nearly as funny as J.D]], not to mention I dearly missed those wacky [[Imagine Spot|Imagine Spots]]. Then comes this exchange from 9x07:
{{quote|
*Cut to an [[Imagine Spot]] of Lucy, who's nearby. She's reading a newspaper and sobbing*
'''Lucy''': *sniff* Scientists taught horses to talk, and it turns out because we've ridden them all these years, THEY DON'T LIKE HUMANS!
*She shows Drew the headline, which read: "Horses Hate People...But Still Love Carrots"*
'''Lucy''': (After the [[Imagine Spot]] was over) Ohhh, I don't want to think about it. }}
* [http://i551.photobucket.com/albums/ii452/Byzie/scrubs.jpg Multi-Ethnic Siamese Doctor].
Line 85:
* This troper laughs at [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QukHrzLQxPw this scene] every time, it's just JD's expression at the end.
* After the Janitor points out that "CALL-TURK" is eight numbers, and thus not good applicable to be a phone number:
{{quote|
'''Turk:''' There's nobody named "Cal Turk".
''[Turk has an [[Imagine Spot]] where he's in white-face in an office]''
'''White!Turk:''' Cal Turk here! We don't sell insurance, we sell peace of mind. ''But only to white people.'' [winks to his clients] Would you like some milk? }}
* After another of JD's patients dies:
{{quote|
'''Dr. Kelso:''' I hope so, otherwise that autopsy's gonna be a bitch. }}
* Ted's reaction to {{spoiler|seeing Dr. Kelso in the Chief Of Medicine chair after he retires and is replaced by Dr. Cox}}: He screams "OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN" and leaps back into a plant. Kelso just smiles and says "Still got it."
* The episode where Dr. Cox and Jordan find out they are technically still married. Especially these lines:
{{quote|
'''Dr. Cox''': ''(smiles and waves)'' You make me wanna kill myself and everyone around me! }}
** And then towards the end of the episode:
{{quote|
'''Jordan''': I've never been so happy. ''(She kisses Dr. Cox)''
'''Carla''': ''(holding their son Jack)'' You have no chance of being normal.
'''JD''': Not at all. }}
* "OH YEAH! SUCK IT BITCH. I WILL ''MURDER'' YOU." Doubles as a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]], when you look at who's talking.
* Turk thinking that Carla can read his mind.
{{quote|
'''Carla:''' Make it yourself. }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTGv8xTByio After a lot of confusion and running,] Turk reunites with JD after his honeymoon.
* The [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsHMliU0WME boobie horn] scene.
{{quote|
* The episode "My Fruit Cups" is chock full of hilarious moments:
** Jordan's very pregnant arrival to Dr. Cox's apartment inspired this comment to Julie, his current girlfriend:
{{quote|
** "Oh, Perry's gonna get some loooovin'! Oh, Perry's gonna get some loooovin!"
** JD's crying daydream after Dr. Cox congratulates him on good work. ''"I'm just so HAPPY!"''
** How JD gets Turk out of his moonlighting job:
{{quote|
'''Turk''': WHAT?! That's not even true! You're a jackass! ''(he starts walking away)''
'''JD''': Where you going? Munchies? }}
** Elliot's reaction to the Gynecology girls' offer:
{{quote|
'''Carla''': Is that because it looks so much like a ''vagina''?
'''Elliot''': ''(spittakes)'' Carla, ''there's people!'' }}
* JD trying to exonerate himself from the recent thefts in the hospital:
{{quote|
'''JD''': They're actually arresting a guy for stealing pudding and toilet paper?
'''Janitor''': Nah, they found 20 bottles of Vicodin in his backpack. (Beat) Did you steal pudding and toilet paper?
'''JD''': ''(flustered)'' No, I hate pudding and I don't use ''(realising where he's accidentally steered this sentence)'' ...toilet paper.
'''Janitor''': ''(taken aback look)''
'''JD''': I, er, have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt...
'''Janitor''': A bidet?
'''JD''': A bi-day to you, sir. ''(leaves)'' }}
* Dr. Molly Clock (played by Heather Graham, no less) in general, but this troper especially loves her little food song: "Oh, chicken salad! You are so tasty! You're food! To be eaten, it's good!"
** Dr. Cox's reaction to her is hysterical:
{{quote|
'''Molly''': ''(rubs Dr. Cox's stomach)'' I'm touching your creamy center! ''(walks away)''
'''Dr. Cox''': Oh...I am...so very angry that I am going to find someone to kill just to prove her wrong.
'''JD''': ''(behind him, slowly backs away with a petrified look on his face)'' }}
** After Molly and Elliot have a fight over an ethics committee decision:
{{quote|
'''Elliot''': Ooh, scary, Molly! Whatcha gonna do--
'''Molly''': Eyebrows. ''(walks away)''
'''JD''': ''(watching)'' Eyebrows? Like that's gonna make you--
'''Elliot''': ''(sobbing, mascara running)''
'''JD''': Elliot, c'mon, you can't be that insecure!
'''Elliot''': Giant Adam's apple!
'''JD''': ''(lip quiver, voice cracks)'' I have to go. ''(flees)'' }}
* From ''My Day at the Races'': [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-bIhCBSrzU Carla and Turk discuss raising children]:
{{quote|
'''Turk''': Irrelevant. We're not having a daughter.
'''Carla''': Okay, what if we have a son and he wants to take dance classes while all his friends are playing football?
'''Turk''': He can dance if he wants to. He can leave his friends behind... [[Men Without Hats|BECAUSE HIS FRIENDS DON'T DANCE AND IF THEY DON'T DANCE THEN THEY'RE NO FRIENDS OF MINE! S-S-S-S-A-A-A-A-F-F-F-F-E-E-E-E...]] }}
* Another great Turk moment:
{{quote|
'''Turk''': I GET TO HAVE SEX!
'''Kelso''': I hate this place. ''(leaves)''
'''Turk''': ''(to random passerby)'' I get to have seeeex toniiiiiiiiiight! }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKO275CJXWY This whole scene] had my university house in tears, and we still quote it to this day
{{quote|
* The whole opening sequence of Ep 100, "My Way Home":
** After seeing all the girly things in Elliott's bathroom, we pan over to see JD with a pink towel wrapped around his head: "It--was--AWESOME."
** JD riding through puddles after a rain - the part when he disappears and then pops up in the next puddle always has this troper in hysterics. Not to mention the stoner riffing with the Janitor immediately after:
{{quote|
'''Janitor''': Was his name Julian?
'''JD''': We didn't exchange pleasantries.
'''Janitor''': That's Julian. }}
** Another part from that episode:
{{quote|
'''JD''': No! *Thinks* I shmeared it on a bagel. }}
* [[A Day in the Limelight|His Story]] was made of these, but This Troper's favorite moment was this gem:
{{quote|
** [[Gilligan Cut|Cut]] to [[Bunny Ears Lawyer|J.D.]] singing "Kung-Fu Fighting" in the elevator.
* The Todd: most of the things he says - these are a couple highlights
Line 179:
*** "I'd like to play some Madden Football on ''her'' Xbox!" (beat) "Who, Todd? There are no women here." "...It's still funny."
** His best moment in medicine; The Miracle Five. Lampshaded by the incredulous doctors Cox and Kelso.
{{quote|
'''Dr. Cox''': Great moment there, dumbass. Starts out with a profound misunderstanding with how the human body works and winds up with you shattering a few bones in some old man's hand.
'''The Todd''': ''Oh yeah''. }}
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOFFh9wA0A8 "Greatest. Conversation. Ever."]
Line 186:
** "What has two thumbs, a funny voice, and still doesn't give a crap? ''(in a high-pitched voice)'' Bob Kelso! I added the funny voice to keep it fresh."
* JD finding Cox bound and gagged with duct tape in a morgue drawer.
{{quote|
* In one episode, Cox [[Lampshade Hanging|takes every character and explains why they are funny]] and proceeds to tell Carla to never tell jokes again. May double as a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]].
* Turk trying to get Carla to say "yes" to his proposal . . . [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5R-zC9rx_Q by getting on top of his car and yelling at her, whilst angry drivers honk at him.] The jewel in the crown is JD running around with sparklers akimbo.
* The episode with Colin Ferrell, particularly the scene where he seduces both Elliot and Carla ''mere seconds apart from each other.''
{{quote|
'''Elliot''': ''(stops making out with him)'' He said my eyes look like the Irish countryside after a soft rain. ''(she runs off)''
'''J.D.''' What was that?!
'''Turk''': That's just Elliot. She's desperate.
'''J.D.''': Dude. ''(points to behind him where Carla is about to kiss Billy)''
'''Turk''': BABY!
'''Carla''': ''(jumps)'' What? I wasn't gonna do anything. He said my hair is curly.
'''Billy''': Your hair ''is'' curly. ''(Carla goes to kiss him)''
'''J.D & Turk''': BABY!
'''Carla''': ''(leaves)'' }}
** In that same episode, Billy and the guy he knocked out play a prank on Turk and JD. Billy pretends to have knocked the guy out again and when JD goes over to check on him, he pops upright, scaring JD so badly that he screams and falls over. The following happens when JD gets back up:
{{quote|
'''Guy''': ''(panicked look)''
'''Turk''': ''(points at JD disapprovingly)'' John Dorian, you are a doctor!
'''JD''': Well, he started it! }}
** "Top o' the mizzle to ya, me lizzles!"
** After calling the police on Billy, wondering if it'll have any consequences, J.D. and Turk turn to see ''every woman in the hospital'' (and [[Ambiguously Gay|Todd]]) glaring at them.
{{quote|
'''Todd''': [[Serious Business|One. Day.]] }}
* Doctor Cox's entire rant to Lester Hendrick from "My Five Stages":
{{quote|
* From "My Fallen Idol":
{{quote|
'''Jordan''': [Walking out of the bathroom behind Keith] Why is there an intern in my bathroom? It's not my birthday.
'''Keith''': [Zips his jacket up to his neck] [[Defiled Forever|She made me watch!]] }}
* "RING O' FIIIIREEEEEE!!" (Motorcyle lights on fire) "SASHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
* "My Friend With Money": Jordan's Jurassic Park entrance, culminating in
{{quote|
'''Cox''':"You look pretty dear."
'''Turk''':"So pretty." }}
* From that same episode:
{{quote|
* Prostate Cancer patient played by Barry Bostwick in "My Dirty Secret"
{{quote|
''(Turk and JD look shocked)''
'''Mr. Randolph''': Surgeons, not African Americans.
'''Turk''': Actually, sir, we're going with "black" now.
'''Mr. Randolph''': ''(calling to his wife, who is in the hallway)'' I WAS RIGHT, CATHERINE! }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLzFowIOepU Elliot has magic breasts.]
* One of JD's longest [[Imagine Spots]], prompted after Carla accuses Turk of being forgetful and wondering what he's going to be like as a father. The [[Imagine Spot]] starts with Turk on his way back from picking up a pumpkin, and realising that he has forgotten the baby and instead brought home a pumpkin. Then Carla finds the pumpkin cute, and agrees to raise it instead. Then we see a sequence of scenes showing the pumpkin "growing up", such as his first bath and playing at a little league game. Finally we see the pumpkin's graduation, when Turk and Carla accidentally drop the pumpkin and it smashes. They start to mourn it, but are interrupted when suddenly they see their real son. They exclaim happiness and begin to run towards each other, when suddenly the son is hit by a bus.
{{quote|
'''JD:''' YOU'RE GOING TO BE A TERRIBLE FATHER! ''(Leaves)'' }}
** Not to mention the alternate adlib of JD yelling "YOU KILLED PUMPKIN BOY!"
Line 237:
** Todd, in speedo: "Why is everybody wearing such giant underwear?"
* Ted updating the staff on what his band is up to at the most inappropriate times:
{{quote|
'''JD:''' ''(briefly stopping his work on a patient whose stitches from heart surgery have completely come out and raising his blood-soaked hands)'' Ted! I'm a little busy, okay? Toodles! }}
* In "My Way Home", [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cts2DMc4FZ8 during one of JD's many attempts to escape from the hospital:]
{{quote|
'''Doug:''' ''(Screams and hits JD over the head with a fire extinguisher)''
'''JD:''' Ow! Ow! Ow! ''(Emerging from the body bag)'' Doug! Why are you hitting me?
'''Doug:''' Because I thought you were a dead guy coming back to life!
''([[Beat]])''
'''JD:''' Then why were you hitting me?!
'''Doug:''' (in terrified voice) Dead people should be dead! }}
* In "My Mirror Image", when JD finds out Kim is pregnant, he frantically tries to call Turk but is unable to get through because [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9nQusQSDU0 all the hospital staff are busy dancing to Turk's ringtone.] Made even funnier by the fact that it's the sort of thing that could easily be one of JD's daydreams... only it isn't.
* Another wonderful Turk moment when he finds out he's been chosen to go to a doctor's conference over his obnoxious co-worker Bonnie and the following moment happens:
{{quote|
'''Turk''': Oh, I'm gonna ''shove it''... and love it, and dance around above it, HEY! ''(Cue a five minutes dance number right in front of her with the chorus, "Shove it, and love it, and dance around above it!")'' }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLGyOaXWuCM The Janitor haunting pediatrics.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_MqeVOmTsY JD imagining his funeral.] Funniest part is after he snaps out of it, the [[Imagine Spot]] having ended with Dr. Cox rather violently killing him:
{{quote|
'''Dr. Kelso:''' Are you an idiot?
'''JD:''' No, sir, I'm a dreamer. }}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_tHGAobMMg JD sassing Laverne] at the beginning of "My Jiggly Ball". The finger snap he does at the end is just hilarious.
** Later, after JD's had tennis balls thrown at him by most of the hospital staff, there's a shot of him holding up his hand and wriggling his fingers:
{{quote|
* In one episode, a patient in one of the luxury hospital rooms leave and Dr. Cox is told to inform Dr. Kelso. He and the Janitor decide to let him think the patient is still there so that they can use the room. Later they fall out and the Janitor seals the room off, and can be seen [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwqDa7uaBo4 dancing around in there to "The Girl From Ipanema".]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZgbPgkuYWE&NR=1 JD's reaction] to Elliot dismissing their almost-kiss in "My Princess".
* The first mention of the Worthless Peons:
{{quote|
* From the episode ''My Fifteen Minutes''
{{quote|
'''Turk as Batman''' It could be worse, Robin. You could be Alfred the butler.
'''JD as Alfred''' Damn you...Sir. }}
* Doug, who eventually worked the morgue, and his cavalier attitude towards death:
{{quote|
* In one episode, Dr. Kelso asks for a muffin and once he gets the muffin, he tosses it in the trash can. He then says, "Because I can." This troper died laughing.
* Also, when JD chases off all of the old gay guys that hang out on his half-acre and then tells Turk he turned the hose on them "but they liked it".
* Elliot and Carla try to "fix" the Todd, i.e. have a serious talk with him to get him out of the closet so he'll stop hitting on [[Anything That Moves]]. They think it works until Todd just repeats the same behavior as before, but with ''men.''
{{quote|
''Dr. Mickhead turns to look at him''
'''Todd''': Is that package for me? YOU KNOW IT IS!
'''Mickhead''': ''(hurries away with a confused, frightened expression)'' }}
* Kelso proves to J.D. that Cox disagrees with everything he says just because he said it:
{{quote|
'''Cox:''' Freezing.
'''Kelso:''' Great coffee, though!
'''Cox:''' Rat piss.
'''Kelso:''' Dr. Murphy is an incompetent suck-up!
'''Cox:''' No, Bob, in fact, he is one of the finest young doctors I've ever had the good fortune of working with.
'''Kelso''': ''(turns to JD)'' Your witness.
'''JD''': ''(sees Doug pick up a phone)'' Doug, what are you doing?
'''Doug''': ''(ecstatic)'' [[Comically Missing the Point|I'm calling my Dad!]] }}
* In Season 1, JD becomes jealous when Turk won't take time out to hang with him so he gets a little snippy with Carla and this happens:
{{quote|
'''JD''': So what if I am?
'''Carla''': No, honey, you have to be a stereotype from a bad movie to pull that off. ''(to Laverne)'' Am I right?
'''Laverne''': ''(in an exaggerated voice)'' Child, please! You speak the truth!
'''Carla''': See, first you do the finger--''(she puts a hand on her hip and points at JD)''--then you [[American Accents|talk through the nose.]]<br />
''(JD backs away, confused and slightly afraid)''<br />
'''Carla''': ''(imitating Rosie Perez)'' Hey! Where you goin'?! }}
* Dr. Cox learns the hard way that you shouldn't mock someone(Elliot) and then ask how to say something to a patient in German.
{{quote|
''(Woman looks offended, man looks pissed)''
'''Dr. Cox:''' schöne Dosen.(Nice cans.)
''(Gets tossed out of the room, and glares at Elliot)''
'''Dr. Cox:''' (Angrily) schöne Dosen. }}
* Any time you get Dr. Cox and his brother-in-law Ben together, but the one that makes me laugh hardest is the "Gay chicken" [[Almost Kiss]].
{{quote|
* This exchange between Kelso and J.D.
{{quote|
'''J.D.'s Narration''': OK, there's no way to answer that and not get in trouble. Change the subject.
'''J.D.''': Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me at my place on Sunday for some homemade jambalaya.
'''Kelso''': Well, it would be good for Enid to get out of the house.
'''J.D.'s Narration''': Oh my god, he's actually thinking about it! Change the subject back!
'''J.D.''': You're seventy-eight, sir.
'''Kelso''': You think I'm that old?
'''J.D.''': Jambalaya... }}
* In a similar vein, the episode where JD finds himself trying to change the subject under pressure and just constantly blurting out "BANANAHAMMOCK!"
* When J.D. and the Janitor try to help Ted to date Gooch:
{{quote|
'''Ted:''' I'm not upset.
'''J.D.''' Ted, we found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples.
'''Ted:''' WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?! }}
* From "My Own Personal Hell":
{{quote|
'''Turk:''' Why would she listen to me?
'''Cox:''' I may have told her that you were [[Kanye West]].
'''Turk:''' I'm actually alright with that. }}
* The [[Imagine Spot|Imagine Spots]] in ''My ABC's'' [[Everythings Better With Muppets|featuring the cast of SesameStreet]]. These include Oscar the Grouch being named new Chief of Medicine ("I'm watching you John Dorian. Remember, [[Lampshade Hanging|my eyes never close!]]), and the Todd giving a "Grover five", but the funniest has to be when J.D. is imagining his new intern being charmed by Elmo. He then says that's enough and Elmo turns and says "what, is she your woman?".
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