The Alleged Car: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|'''[[Honest John's Dealership|Crazy Vaclav]]''': She'll do 300 [[Unit Confusion|hectares]] on a single tank of kerosene.
'''Homer''': [[Made in Country X|What country is this car from?]]
'''Crazy Vaclav''': [[Balkanize Me|It no longer exists.]]|''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'', "Mr. Plow"}}
|''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'', "Mr. Plow"}}
 
It was cheap. It was easy to buy. Charitably, it can be called a car. Unfortunately, it tops out at about 40 miles per hour (45 if you're going downhill, 65 kilometres if you're not in America), [[Plot-Driven Breakdown|it breaks down a lot]], you get parking tickets for it ''[[Driving Stick|while it's in drive]]'', and you probably have to special-order replacement parts from overseas, since you're the only one in your time zone who was enough of a sucker to buy one (and cars like this are inevitably foreign, often from countries that [[The Great Politics Mess-Up|no longer exist]] due to civil wars and political turmoil). The only reason it hasn't fallen apart yet is because the rust holds everything in place. Often it has some kind of cute or derogatory nickname. Sometimes a car like this is referred to as a Rolls-Canardley: rolls down one hill, can 'ardly get up the next.
 
New drivers' first cars tend to be like this, due to not knowing any better, or—since most newbie drivers are in their teens or early twenties—they don't have enough money to buy a [[Cool Car]]. But even then, logic kicks them in the rear when they realize that the money spent on repairs could have been saved up for a nicer car in the first place.
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{{examples}}
== Anime &and Manga ==
* The infamous "[[Thememobile|Yukarimobile]]" from ''[[Azumanga Daioh]]''. It's a miracle Yukari ''can'' [[Drives Like Crazy|drive the damn thing]] in the shape it's in. Its second appearance in the anime is suitably... ominous.
** It belongs to Yukari's parents. Presumably it looks like that because it ''is'' driven by Yukari. The way that thing gets camera treatment, it is the closest thing the series has to an outright villain. Not even Kimura-sensei is quite as traumatizing.
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* In the manga of ''[[You're Under Arrest]]'', Natsumi ends up with one of these after getting her auto license - the car had been assembled out of discarded parts from numerous stolen vehicles. Then it gets customized by Miyuki...
 
== Comic Books ==
 
== Comics ==
* Archie Andrews' jalopy in ''[[Archie Comics]]''. Witness what happens when Archie tries to get it insured:
{{quote|'''Insurer''': What model is your car?
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'''Archie''': Some of it dates back to 1926! }}
:: Throughout its [[Long Runner|very long run]], they had to constantly replace the base car as the car starts to become a classic or an an antique -- something that actually had some worth.
* [[Donald Duck|Donald Duck]]'s]] famous 313. In one comic Donald manages to get the car to do 40 mph downhill, gets a ticket, and the cop remarks it's the first time he's ever given a speeding ticket to someone in a Belchfire Runabout (the make of car). In the story [https://web.archive.org/web/20120414180056/http://disneycomics.free.fr/Ducks/Rosa/show.php?s=date&loc=AR105 Recalled Wreck], Donald tells that he actually build the car himself from parts that by now are all out of production and can't be replaced. It's not hard to guess what happens to the parts next...
* In ''[[Sin City]]'':
** Gail has an unfortunate tendency to saddle Dwight with crappy cars when he's helping her. Once, during ''The Big Fat Kill'' she even forgot to make sure the car had enough gas to get where it was going. A similar car was given to him in ''Family Values''.
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* The title character of ''[[Achille Talon]]'' drives a car that rolled off the assembly line in 1903 (the British-made Achilles, obviously chosen for its name). And it looks every year of its age.
* Gabe's beater in ''[[The Maze Agency]]'', which is used to contrast Jen's 1958 Corvette, the [[Cool Car]].
* [[Spider-Man|The Spider-Mobile]]. Unlike most examples on this page, it was actually pretty pimped out... just really uncool in being pointless (Spider-Man neither needs nor—as the arc in which the thing appeared showed—has the ability to drive a car) and corny looking. [[Dork Age|The butt of many jokes in hindsight]].
* Brad's perpetually worked-on Chevy Nova in ''[[Luann]]''.
* The 1962 VW Microbus Jeremy and Hector are "restoring" in ''[[Zits]]''. It has wildlife living in the engine compartment and creates its own smokescreen as it drives.
* [[Spider-Man|The Spider-Mobile]]. Unlike most examples on this page, it was actually pretty pimped out...just really uncool in being pointless (Spider-Man neither needs nor—as the arc in which the thing appeared showed—has the ability to drive a car) and corny looking. [[Dork Age|The butt of many jokes in hindsight]].
* Harold Harold's car in ''[[The Tomb of Dracula]]''.
 
 
== Fan Works ==
* The [[Ruritania|Transbelvian]] Belv in [[Eyrie Productions, Unlimited]]'s ''[[Street Fighter]]''/[[Mega Crossover|whole bunch of other stuff]] fic ''Warrior's Legacy''. The author/narrator describes it quite well:
{{quote|I insist, though, that when in Transbelvia, the truly discriminating tourist is obligated to drive the national automobile, the one and only Belv. The Belv is the quintessential East European car, a tiny tin box with a two-stroke motor that sounds like a mimeograph machine on Self-Destruct and smells like a burning blackwall tire. This particular one had a four-speed manual gearbox that liked to crunch and jitter on shifts, brakes operated by cables, and no gauges that worked. }}
* Non-car example: [[Midnight Green|Midnight Green's]]'s dilapidated cart that he quite happily smashes into a tree.
* Brian "Grue" Laborn's car in the ''[[Worm]]'' [[Alternate Universe Fic]] ''[[Mauling Snarks]]'', bought from a Nazi-owned used car lot and deliberately sabotaged, is actually described using the trope name. Fortunately for him, Taylor's Tinker power notices its ''many'' problems before the car kills him, and it gets repaired ''and'' improved by Wrench Wraith (the former Squealer).
 
 
== Films -- Animated ==
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** The villains of the sequel are all notorious "lemons", such as Gremlins or Pacers. In fact, two baddies from this film are even known as Grem and Acer! [[The Dragon]] is based on a German microcar in which passengers always face the back.
* Both vehicles in ''[[The Fox and The Hound]]'' probably qualify for this. The widow's is a really old truck, and Slade's is tempremantal after the engine gets shot full of holes by the widow.
 
 
== Films -- Live Action ==
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* Speaking of Citroën 2CV, the one driven by Soeur Clotilde in ''The Gendarme of Saint-Tropez'' is literally broken apart by the ride's end, losing its doors, wings, windscreen and even the rear axle. Though it's mostly because the nun [[Drives Like Crazy]].
* ''[[Dragnet]]'' (1987). "After losing the two previous vehicles we had been issued, the only car the department would release to us at this point was an unmarked 1987 Yugo; a Yugoslavian import donated as a test vehicle by the government of that country and reflecting the cutting edge of Serbo-Croatian technology."
* The sandspeeders in ''[[The Last Jedi]]'' is what happens to vehicles that've been abandoned for a few years: The floor starts falling apart as soon as Poe takes his foot off a pedal.
* The Mario Bros' craptastic van in the ''[[Super Mario Bros. (film)|Super Mario Bros]]'' movie.
* The VW bus in ''[[Little Miss Sunshine]]'' has to be push started because it needed a new clutch, but the family would have missed Olive's contest if they had waited for it to be fixed. Also, the horn had a loose connection and beeped intermittently.
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* The ''[[The Blues Brothers|BluesMobile]]''.
* The minivan at the end of ''[[Project X]]'', which is missing two doors and has had most of its paint scorched off. Thomas' parents force him to drive it to school as punishment, though his friends think it looks [[Badass]].
* The yellow convertible the protagonists of ''[[To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar]]'' get for their cross-country travel is simultaneously this ''and'' the [[Cool Car]]. The car does ''look'' fabulous, but its internals are less than reliable, and to add insult of injury it breaks and leaves the protagonists stranded in "Gay Hell".
 
 
== Jokes ==
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* Scott Faulconbridge had a routine where he talked about his car. It was worth about twenty bucks. After he filled it with gas.
* A stock [[Borscht Belt]] joke (included in Waak's brief stand-up routine in the film ''[[Explorers]]'') is about a car called a "Rolls-Canardly" -- "It rolls down one hill and can 'ardly get up the next."
 
 
== Literature ==
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* In [[Daniel Pinkwater]]'s ''Yobgorgle: Mystery Monster of Lake Ontario'', one character purchases one during the course of the book. He gets it dirt cheap(less than a hundred dollars), on the condition that he has to wear a chicken suit whenever he drives it.
* Jen from ''[[The Cornersville Trace Mythos|Extraordinary*]]'' has a car that stalls all the time, usually at the worst moments.
* The March 1980 edition of Australian car magazine ''Wheels'' [https://web.archive.org/web/20131101093321/http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Wheels_magazine/id/1997816 controversially declared] "No Car of the Year" for 1979, with the front cover featuring a giant lemon on four wheels. This prompted Ford Australia to hit back with an advertisement for its then-latest model Falcon, depicting a page full of literal lemons with popular car brands printed on them and declaring, "[[When Life Gives You Lemons|There are times when being a lemon is not a bitter experience at all]]". ''Wheels'' also declared "No Car of the Year" in 1972 and 1986.
 
== Live -Action TV ==
 
== Live Action TV ==
* In ''[[The Middleman]]'', Wendy has a Hruck Bugbear, which is made in the Balkans and described as "a poor man's Yugo". Her soon-to-be boyfriend Tyler likes it, but he seems to be the only one who does.
* ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'':
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* On ''[[The Roy Rogers Show]]'', there was Nellybelle, who was run down to the point she often refused to start. Hence Pat Brady's [[Catch Phrase]] "Aw, NELLYBELLE!"
* In the ''[[Dirk Gently (TV series)|Dirk Gently]]'' TV series, Dirk drives an Austin Princess which he's had for at least sixteen years (and, given when the Princess was made, was presumably not new then). It rarely starts, when it does it's always in reverse, and Richard compares changing gears to Russian Roulette.
 
 
== Music ==
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* Arrogant Worms's song "Car Full of Pain"—complete with a verse describing how it is literally possessed by the Legions of Hell.
* [[Weird Al]] Yankovic's car in "Stop Dragging My Car Around".
* The guys at [[Car Talk]] have been collecting these for some time now. [https://web.archive.org/web/20100608152926/http://www.shamelesscommerce.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=ROADSONGS Have a look.]
* The tour bus in [[Eric Bogle]]'s "Eric and the Informers":
{{quote|''We drove ourselves round in a Kombi van,
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''It's a home for the birds now
''It's no longer a car. }}
* Roberto Carlos' "Calhambeque" is about a man that gets an Alleged Car as a replacement after he sends his car to the repairshop, but ends up keeping the Alleged Car in lieu of the "normal" car because the car turned out to be a [[Chick Magnet]].
* The second line in "Beverly Hills" by [[Weezer]].
{{quote|"My automobile is a piece of crap."}}
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{{quote|''Carcacha, go step by step, don't stop "limping" forward.
''Carcacha, bit by bit. Please don't leave us! }}
* Los Melodicos's hit "La Cacerola" is about a man having a car that is ugly and slow, but being still proud of his "saucepan" becuse it still somewhat reliable and attracts a lot of women.
* [[Bob Rivers]] does this at least a couple of times; ''My Toyota'' (parody of The Knack's ''My Sharona'') to mock the 2010 Toyota recalls, and ''The Day My Lemon Died'' (parody of Don McLean's ''American Pie'') describing abandoning a broken, smoking vehicle at roadside.
* Diesel's ''[[wikipedia:Sausalito Summernight|Sausalito Summernight]]'' (1981) starts with "We left for Frisco in your Rambler / The radiator running dry / I've never been much of a gambler / And had a preference to fly..." and goes downhill from there, with "The engine's stomping like a disco / We ought to dump it in the bay" as the approximate low point.
* The [[Barenaked Ladies]] lapse into [[Sarcasm Mode]] with "If I had a million dollars / I'd buy you a K-car / A nice Reliant automobile". Lee Iococca (the same guy sacked by Ford after the [[Every Car Is a Pinto|Pinto]] disaster) built these boxy, early front-wheel-drive econoboxes from [[The Eighties|the 1981 model year]] to save Chrysler from inevitable ruin during a recession and fuel shortage. They were inexpensive, cheap repair parts were plentiful and fuel mileage was good - but they were much less reliable than their Japanese rivals and needed repairs more often. The front-wheel drive was innovative in 1981, but in retrospect the cars just looked boxy and clunky. Even with the company president on TV ads personally insisting [[We Don't Suck Anymore|if you can find a better car, buy it]], they didn't hold their resale value.
 
== Newspaper Comics ==
* Brad's perpetually worked-on Chevy Nova in ''[[Luann]]''.
* The 1962 VW Microbus Jeremy and Hector are "restoring" in ''[[Zits]]''. It has wildlife living in the engine compartment and creates its own smokescreen as it drives.
 
== Radio ==
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* On his radio show, Jim Rome often tells the story of his Merkur XR4TI, which he calls "the worst car ever". (As an inside joke, Jim calls his production crew "the XR4TI Crew").
* Amos and Andy's taxicab, forming the fleet for the Fresh Air Taxicab Company of America, Inc.
 
 
== Tabletop Games ==
* In the unlikely event that a vehicle from ''[[Paranoia]]'' (especially one from [[Mad Scientist|R&D]]) isn't one of these to begin with, then carrying around a handful of mildly unhinged Troubleshooters with secret society missions to waste each other will probably seriously damage the systems before long. The second edition sample adventure, for example, featured a six-legged [[Spider Tank]] submarine built by taking a ''van'' and bolting on legs; the bot brain is going senile, and there's a bewildering array of unlabeled and/or mixed-up controls and gauges (pushing down the gas pedal fires a torpedo, for example, and some of the levers snap off as soon as you try to pull them, and as usual the operating manual is above your security clearance).
* ''[[BattleTech]]'' players may be familiar with the Hetzer Wheeled Assault Gun, basically an alleged ''[[Tank Goodness|tank]]''. Among its "virtues" are a fairly slow wheeled chassis that prevents it from traversing many types of terrain compounded by lack of a turret for its only weapon, a battery weak enough that its engine needs to keep running pretty much nonstop to keep it charged, and a tendency to reach the customer not quite fully assembled at times. (If you're lucky, somebody thought to include the bolts to fix the last components in place.) It arguably ''is'' one of the cheapest ways available to field an [[BFGBig Freaking Gun|AC/20]], but between its flaws and the fact that its big gun makes it an obvious fire magnet it's no surprise that many of its crews consider it a rolling coffin in-universe.
** All that above said, it is not totally unreasonable when you consider that it is a real-life ''World War II'' era design. Go look it up, we'll wait.
* Subverted in ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'': anything the Orks build or salvage will be the alleged buggy, but thanks to the crude-but-effective nature of Ork tech [[Clap Your Hands If You Believe|combined with the fact]] that [[Xtreme Kool Letterz|red wunz go fasta]] means that they're surprisingly serviceable.
* ''[[Chez Geek]]'' from Steve Jackson Games includes, as one of the things you can spend your money on, a card representing "Harold the Hoopty Car". It's worth a lot of Slack (points), but it's very expensive, reduces your effective Income for each turn by 1, and every turn it has a one-in-six chance of breaking down beyond repair.
* In ''[[Adeptus Evangelion]]'', this can be the Player's Evangelion if the player rolls poorly. It can be made by the lowest bidder or held together by duct tape (they're on the same table so it can't be both), have [[High-Pressure Blood|pressurized blood that squirts everywhere]], lose bolts in battle that destroy nearby buildings, have a fractured mind, and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|be colored Neon Green.]]
 
 
== Video Games ==
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** ''[[The Sims 3]]'' continues the tradition of having various cars of various expense available for purchase. Notably, the less expensive cars are indeed more likely to breakdown, meaning you might be late for work or school or whatever you're trying to get to, and you ''will'' get a negative moodlet.
* Some of the cars in ''[[Grand Theft Auto]]'' qualify. They look ugly as hell, and are painfully slow.
** In ''[[Grand Theft Auto IV]]'' a few of the cars come in a 'beater' variant which is in horrible condition, with rusty bodywork, oxidized paint, missing panels and inferior performance (also, they backfire constantly). [https://web.archive.org/web/20131229131150/http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/gtawiki/images/e/e7/Vigero_(GTA4)_(beater_2)_(front).jpg This one is a perfect example], and yes, that is duct-tape holding one of the windows in. And some of them even have alarms.
** Beater cars such as the Tampa were introduced to the series in ''[[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'', with the sole intention of being customized by the player (also a new addition to the series.) [[Magikarp Power|These cars specifically were designed to allow for the maximum number of modifications and thus became the best cars in the game.]]
* In ''[[The Simpsons Hit & Run]]'', most vehicles which get destroyed are reduced to their frames, Buford T. Justice-style. They are still drivable, but have horrible acceleration, very low top speed, and terrible handling.
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** The third game also had a number of alleged cars, including the Fiat 131 Abarth, the aforementioned Datsun 510, the 1969 Toyota 2000GT, the Porsche 914/6, the Lotus Elan Sprint, and the Alfa Romeo Giulia Sprint.
* ''[[Saints Row 2]]'' has rusted versions of cars that have absolutely terrible performance. They can be fixed by taking them to a mechanic and performing any customization on them, however the performance only remains OK.
 
 
== Visual Novels ==
* The Murakami family's van in ''[[Kirakira]]''. The main characters have a lot of trouble with it, and predictably, it breaks down completely when they're already in the middle of their [[Darkest Hour]].
 
 
== Web Animation ==
* Parodied with Strong Bad's car, the [[wikipedia:AMC Gremlin|Gremlin]], in ''[[Homestar Runner]]'', which doesn't even seem to have an engine but is treated as a working car by its owner anyway.
{{quote|'''Strong Bad:''' And that was our road trip. Or, more accurately our car trip, since we didn't go on any roads. Or, even more accurately, our car, since we didn't go on any trips either.}}
 
 
== Web Comics ==
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"Still too expensive. The computer will only authorize up to spitwads." }}
:: Sam and Helix did manage to get it off the ground by themselves, an act they're very proud of. Unfortunately, the parade committee forced them to return the balloons shortly thereafter.
* In ''[[Scary Go Round]]'', Esther de Groot drives [https://web.archive.org/web/20110624030945/http://www.scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20080916 a car like this].
{{quote|'''Esther:''' "I have a surprise for you," says my dad. "You know [[wikipedia:Volkswagen Beetle|that car Hitler liked so much]]? I made you one out of rust."}}
* In ''[[Girl Genius]]'', one strip involves Agatha receiving [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20050328 a...rather poorly maintained] walking house.
* Eric Remington's, as seen in [https://web.archive.org/web/20110417174800/http://bukucomics.com/loserz/go/200 this strip] of ''[[Loserz]]''.
* In ''[[Drive (webcomic)|Drive]]'', the Machito is one of these, until the Emperor has it upgraded.
* ''[[Darths & Droids]]'' represents the Millennium Falcon as The Alleged Spaceship, lampshaded in [https://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/1945.html episode 1945]:
{{quote|'''Finn''': Why would we abandon a perfectly good ship?
'''Rey''': We wouldn’t, but have you seen ''this'' ship?}}
 
== Web Original ==
* In ''[[The Saga of Tuck]]'', Mike's car, the Beast, runs. Most of the time. Beyond that, there's not much one can say for it.
* In [http://gaius0artemis.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4lwgxe Night Hunters], the Chevrolet Impala starts off this way, until {{spoiler|it's crushed and repaired}}
 
== Western Animation ==
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'''Dan:''' Yes! That's the one! }}
* Stanley Ipkiss's indiscriminate-model clunker, complete with a portable driver's side door, from [[The Mask]].
* On ''[[Re BootReBoot]]'', Bob's car ''never'' works properly. He describes it as a classic, but it's a recurring gag that the thing never runs—not even when a virus is about to infect Bob and company and turn them to stone (they have to resort to [[Percussive Maintenance]] to get it going again).
* The ''[[Total Drama Island|Total Drama]]'' series feature several alleged vehicles, though only one of them is a car:
** The Lame-o-sine, complete with an obnoxious set of bull horns on the front.
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** The single prop plane in ''Island'' and the Total Drama Jumbo Jet are certainly less than airworthy, with the former's wings falling off after one flight & the latter's front-end falling off in the ''Action'' special.
** The contestant-built bikes in "That's Off the Chain" were built from scrap materials. Some held together while others fell apart or [[Stuff Blowing Up|blew up]].
 
 
== Web Original ==
* In ''[[The Saga of Tuck]]'', Mike's car, the Beast, runs. Most of the time. Beyond that, there's not much one can say for it.
* In [http://gaius0artemis.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4lwgxe Night Hunters], the Chevrolet Impala starts off this way, until {{spoiler|it's crushed and repaired}}
 
 
== Real Life ==
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** There was a parody of the famous Citroen "Dancing [[Transformers Generation 1|Transformer]]" ad that featured a 2CV—it held up surprisingly well until the end...
* The Lamborghini Espada. Don't let the maker fool you out on the feeling that it's a [[Cool Car]], because this bull sucked; its glass on the door panels can shatter if knocked in a car park, and the engine starved itself of oil quickly and corrosion sets in, causing electrical faults on the out of control switch placement.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20100126054146/http://mongolrally.theadventurists.com/index.php The Mongol Rally] challenges its participants to drive from London to Ulanbataar in The Alleged Car. Cars can be disqualified for having too powerful an engine (though exceptions are made for cars of [[Rule of Funny|"significant comedy value"]], e.g., ice cream trucks).
* And who could forget the [[wikipedia:Trabant|Trabant]], vehicle of "[[But Thou Must!|choice]]" for [[East Germany|East Germans]] before the country collapsed. Affectionately called "Trabbi", it would seem like this car was designed as a Communist backlash against Western cars—which then embodied the capitalist principles of freedom and prestige—by creating a car whose sole and only purpose was moving people from A to B (noisily, and with an exhaust plume trailing all the way back from B to A). There are a number of reasons it qualifies:
** The engine was a two-stroke, 15-20 hp, 0.5 liter in-line 2 cylinder with a fuel efficiency of 34 mpg (7 liters/100 km, 14.28 km/l) -- ''same as a modern 150 hp, 1.8 liter L4''. Top speed was 112 km/h (70 mph—even a modern compact can reach 110 mph/170 km/h), and acceleration was ''0 to 60 mph in 60 seconds''. Quite ideal for the limited number of destinations available, for a country that asked for travelling passes to cross the state borders.
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** Rather amusing, since these days, most Škodas are built on last generation [[V Ws]]. The Fabia, for example, is a Mark IV Golf underneath the skin.
* During [[The Eighties]] Britain imported a fair number of cars from the Eastern Bloc to satisfy demand for a low-cost alternative to Western cars; the Russian Lada Riva serves the same role in British humour as the Yugo does in American humour. Škoda cars also used to, but see above.
** Lada Niva, arguably the first crossover in the world, is remembered fondly by many, on the other hand. It experienced a short period of popularity in Brazil after the market was opened for imported cars in the early 90s, and has a small number of enthusiasts. [[Your Mileage May Vary]], but [https://web.archive.org/web/20111021055339/http://www.noticiasautomotivas.com.br/lada-niva-mostra-quem-e-que-manda-no-pedaco/ after this], it might count as [[What a Piece of Junk!]].
** As a subversion of the "Eastern Bloc cars suck" idea, the Fiat 126p (built in Poland under licence) was actually better regarded by British drivers than its Western counterpart because its heavier construction (either a consequence of engineering constraints or so it doesn't fall apart if you try driving it on Polish roads, depending who you ask) made it easier to control and less prone to rust.
* [[Harry Potter|Actor Rupert Grint]] purchased an ice cream truck as his first car. ''Definitely'' overlaps with [[Cool Car]] (and totally owns Ashton Kutcher's International CXT super-pickup...). Small wonder his website has the subtitle "Ice Cream Man".
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*** "Lucas invented the three position switch -- dim, flicker, and off."
** Another notable example was the Triumph TR7, and not necessarily for reliability reasons. Auto designer Giorgetto Giugiaro — who created the bodywork for iconic cars like the Lotus Esprit, De Lorean DMC-12, Maserati Ghibli and Volkswagen Golf — had a memorable reaction upon seeing Triumph's notoriously ugly TR7 during the 1975 Geneva Motor Show. After viewing the profile of the car, with the sculpted curve running along the side, he took on a puzzled expression, slowly walked around the car and exclaimed in startlement: "My God! They've done it to the other side as well!"
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20130825144607/http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1658545_1658498_1657839,00.html The below-mentioned Time article] said of the Triumph Stag, which it uses as a representative for British Leyland cars as a whole, "The Stag was lively and fun to drive, as long as it ran. The 3.0-liter Triumph V8 was a monumental failure, an engine that utterly refused to confine its combustion to the internal side. The timing chains broke, the aluminum heads warped like mad, the main bearings would seize and the water pump would poop the bed — ''ka-POW!'' Oh, that piston through the bonnet, that is a spot of bother."
** How bad was British Leyland? Rover's [https://web.archive.org/web/20130909041639/http://www.carlustblog.com/2008/07/car-lust--sterl.html Sterling 827 SLi] was essentially a license-built version of a mid-80s Honda (Accura) Legend, one of he best-engineered cars of its day—but even Honda engineering was no match for British assembly quality!
** To top it off, BMW purchased British Leyland (by then known as the Rover Group) and reputedly ended up losing billions of dollars in the six years it owned them. Inverted with the Land Rover (sold for a profit) and MINI (kept by BMW and now bigger than ever) divisions, but still played straight with the rest of the Rover Group which was effectively given away for next to nothing.
* There is now a competition devoted to the Alleged Car: the [http://www.24hoursoflemons.com LeMons], a two-day event for cars bought and fixed up for $500 or less, excluding safety equipment. Prizes are awarded to the car with furthest distance on the track before it breaks down completely, the amount of horrible vapors that exude from it, and which one is just plain worst. And for those who are too proud of their beloved Alleged Car (we're looking at ''you'', [[Top Gear|Richard Hammond]]) to smash it up, there's a [https://web.archive.org/web/20130909100251/http://www.carlustblog.com/2009/08/concours-dlemon.html Concours de LeMons], whose [https://web.archive.org/web/20131104155646/http://www.concoursdlemons.com/participants.html show categories are worth a read just for laughs].
* The [https://web.archive.org/web/20130808215655/http://www.carlustblog.com/2009/02/edsel.html Edsel's] gotten a [[Shout-Out]] in everything from ''[[Garfield]]'' to ''[[Destroy All Humans!]]'' as one of the worst cars ever made. Ironically, it apparently wasn't that bad a car (it is said to have roughly the same level of reliability as other American cars of its day), it just was [https://web.archive.org/web/20130808215655/http://www.carlustblog.com/2009/02/edsel.html marketed wrong, priced wrong, named wrong and, most of all, just plain ugly] [[Your Mileage May Vary|to most people]]. (''The Book of Heroic Failures'' quotes [[Time (magazine)|''Time'' magazine]] as calling it "a classic case of the wrong car for the wrong market at the wrong time." It had its own dealer network (instead of using Ford's existing dealers), it was priced above the stock Ford, it was introduced during a recession, given a stupid-sounding name and marketed as "America's space car" - complete with huge tail fins at a time that these were going out of style. The book also claims that half the Edsels sold were defective in some way: doors that wouldn't open, trunks that wouldn't shut, push-buttons that wouldn't do anything, etc.)
* In the early 1970s, when the oil crisis forced American manufacturers to crank out small cars or die, the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130809080510/http://www.carlustblog.com/2010/12/the-chevrolet-vega-what-went-wrong.html Chevy Vega,] AMC Gremlin and [[Every Car Is a Pinto|Ford Pinto]] gave American small cars this reputation: having absolutely ''zero'' experience in building small cars, the American manufacturers, to put it lightly, stumbled ''quite a bit'' in their attempts at building small vehicles, to the extent that the Ford Pinto ''[[Every Car Is a Pinto|would actually explode]] [[Trope Namer|when crashed!]]''. In fact, Ford officials [http://motherjones.com/politics/1977/09/pinto-madness knew perfectly well] that the Pinto's gas tank tended to explode, could have rectified the situation, and ''chose not to'' on the basis of a "cost-benefit analysis" (basically saying "It's cheaper to let people burn to death, wrongful death lawsuits and all, than to change the car"). It's often held up as an example of why punitive damages should be legal in lawsuits. This is why Toyota, Honda and Datsun (now Nissan) became popular in the States—being manufacturers from fuel-deprived Japan, they had ''way'' more know-how on subcompact design, and the Toyota Corolla, Datsun B-210 and Honda Civic ended up ruling the day.
** As a further illustration of the incompetence of American auto manufacturers of the time, the exploding gas tank was not a problem until the ''second year'' of production. The first production year automobiles were perfectly safe; which makes sense, since most of the car was by Lotus, with a Ford body dropped on it. It wasn't until 1972, when they started doing everything themselves, that the problems started. Interestingly, the problems that plagued the Pinto did not necessarily translate to the Mercury Bobcat or Ford Mustang 2; both of which were nothing more than a modified Pinto chassis with a different body dropped on top.
* The [https://web.archive.org/web/20130809073326/http://www.carlustblog.com/2009/02/chevrolet-chevy-citation.html 1980 Chevy Citation] and its Pontiac, Oldsmobile, and Buick derivatives, intended as GM's world-beating answer to the Honda Accord, was instead a world-beating mashup of poor engineering and atrocious build quality. Among its many flaws were over-enthusiastic rear brakes that would lock up and cause an "atomic death-skid" at the slightest provocation. [[Unfortunate Implications|Having the same name as a term for a parking ticket probably didn't help, either.]]
* Ford (Jokingly referred to as an acronym for "Found On Road Dead" or "Fix Or Repair Daily) seems to have had a problem with quality control, at least at its British assembly plant, well into the 1980s; the phrase 'Friday afternoon car' is alleged to have originated with their products.
** With Honda motorcycles you can occasionally encounter the 'Friday Afternoon Design': a part from one model that ''almost'' fits earlier or later models, but is subtly different for no apparent reason.
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* During the 1960s and 1970s, Chrysler foolishly took control of the Rootes Group in Britain which supplied them with cars smaller than what Chrysler Corporation proper wanted to build, with generally poor results. The nadir was the 1971-73 Plymouth Cricket (aka Hillman Avenger) which had poor workmanship and tended to rust like crazy. To add insult to injury to the Chrysler-Plymouth dealers, the Dodge sales channel got the far better Mitsubishi-sourced Colt.
* Conan O'Brien started a contest for people to send in videos of their alleged cars called "[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|Conan, Please Blow Up My Car!]]" where the winner received a new Lexus HS 250h in its place (replacing a 1980 Toyota Corolla two-door with the roof hacked off to make a "convertible"). He also frequently mentions his own alleged car, a 1992 Ford Taurus SHO.
* A similar contest was held in Canada by [[Auto Trader]], called "[https://web.archive.org/web/20111129094600/http://cliffyourride.autotrader.ca/ Cliff your Ride]".
* Some cars that are genuinely good manage to earn this reputation over time nonetheless.
** The Dodge Neon earned large amounts of critical acclaim upon its launch in 1994 and was a huge success in both the showroom and on the track, as well as being a very influential design and concept that all of today's compact cars are modeled after to some extent. However, the quality/reliability problems that plagued early models (Its tendency for head gasket failure being the most notable), its "cute" design and the fact that many were turned into "rice burners" during the street racing fad of the mid-2000s lead to the Neon being a common Alleged Car today.
** The redesigned, front wheel drive 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme was praised by critics upon launch and is considered to be a good car in its own right, but the disastrous "This Is Not Your Father's Oldsmobile" marketing campaign used to launch it was a massive failure that caused sales of the Oldsmobile brand as a whole to crater, leading to the brand's eventual demise in 2004. The 1988 Cutlass is thus considered to be [[Creator Killer|the car that killed Oldsmobile]]. As a result, today they are undesired and valueless.
** If the last Oldsmobile rolled off the line in 2004, and the last Neon in 2005, all of these cars are at least {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}}-2005}} years old. The few still on the roads are rapidly nearing the end of their useful lifespan, but are not yet old enough to join the likes of [[What Could Possibly Go Wrong?|Ford's Edsel]] in the hallowed ranks of truly classic cars. That means that the few still running are by now in mostly poor condition, only adding to the negative reputation - as discontinued vehicles drop in value more rapidly.
* The Goggomobil Dart. "If you needed a sudden burst of acceleration, it was best to jump out and run". (A certified lunatic in Germany has fitted [http://www.deutsche-werke.de/goggo2.htm one] with a 9-cylinder, 10-liter radial aircraft engine. It out-accelerates Porsches.)
* The Fiat Ritmo/Strada, which, due to using recycled Soviet steel, was infamous for quickly rusting away. Dunno if any exist anymore, much less working ones. By the way, [[Fun with Acronyms|FIAT]] was often [[backronym]]ed as "Fix it Again, Tony", or "Failure in Automotive Technology".
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* In China, the worst are the Xiali (based on a Toyota design) and Suzuki Alto, two of the first to enter market. The latter is often joked to have been designed to drive on sidewalks. The former is joked for its design's 2-decade production without major change.
* The Lancia Beta, which rusted to point of scrap, ruined the reputation of Lancia (a manufacturer of otherwise decent cars) in the United Kingdom, forcing the company to pull out of the UK entirely, much to the chagrin of ''[[Top Gear]]'''s presenters years later.
* [[Time (magazine)|Time Magazine]]'s [https://web.archive.org/web/20160420212738/http://wwwcontent.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,2875728804,16585451658545_1658544_1658535,00.html "50 Worst Cars of All Time"]: In addition to some of the autos listed elsewhere here (like the Trabant and various Leyland Yard products), we also have such gems as:
** The 1920 Briggs and Stratton<ref>Yes, the lawn mower people</ref> Flyer: "...A motorized park bench on bicycle wheels."
** The 1956 Renault Dauphine: an ultra-cheap rust magnet that went from 0-60 in ''32 seconds.''
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*** The company's production process was so inefficient that the cost of building a Bricklin was over three times the price it sold for. ([[You Fail Economics Forever|They probably expected to make it up on volume.]])
** The 1976 Aston Martin Lagonda: A beautiful supercar filled with cutting edge electronics and gadgets that refused to work.
** The [https://web.archive.org/web/20130808142626/http://www.carlustblog.com/2009/02/cimarron-by-cadillac-19811988.html 1982 Cadillac Cimarron]: An alleged luxury car—basically a rebadged, 4-speed manual transmission Chevy Cavalier sold at Cadillac prices. Nearly killed the Cadillac brand and remains an [[Old Shame]].
* The Czechoslovak Velorex company is quite a name in motorcycle sidecars. They also built something that [http://abc.se/~m9805/eastcars/velorex/Velorex_250.jpg might be described as a car], but which is basically a motorcycle sidecar without the motorcycle. If you've looked at the pic and are unsure about what the bodywork is made of: yes, that's actually ''vinyl-coated canvas'' over steel tubing. The frame is attached to what is effectively the rear end of a motorcycle with a 125cc or 250cc two-stroke single-cylinder engine (later models had a 250cc twin) driving the single rear wheel. [[Top Gear|Tiff Needell]] took one for a spin once, and reported, yelling over the din of the engine that "braking is accomplished by writing a letter politely asking to reduce your speed, oh, sometime next week".
* An Alleged Motorcycle is the Chang Jiang [[CJ 750]]: a Chinese copy of a Russian copy of a pre-[[WW 2]] BMW. Using tooling the ''Russians'' considered worn, having by then been in production use for 20 years already. Chang Jiang also builds a copy of the Jawa 353, again using the ''original'' tooling.
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* The early '80's Cadillacs were saddled with the 8-6-4 engine which used a crude cylinder deactivation system, or the [[Genre Killer]] Diesel 350, which left buyers with a choice of buying a car that would leap and shake or one that wouldn't start if it was near freezing temperatures.
* The Reliant Robin can't be easily considered an [[Alleged Car]], because it's hard to classify it ''as'' a car. It has two defining features, one being the fact that it only has three wheels, the single wheel is in the front. The other? Rolling over. One takes a sharp turn in a Reliant Robin at their own risk. It may be the only car in history to roll over 360 degrees from cornering to hard. In the UK, especially [[Oop North]], the Robin became popular as it only required a motorcycle license to operate and thus avoided many taxes that car owners were saddled with. In spite of—or because of—this, the Robin has become something of an icon of British popular culture. The yellow van in ''[[Only Fools and Horses]]'' was a Robin, as was the light blue van that was [[Running Gag|always getting tipped over]]. ''[[Top Gear]]'' has done several segments on the Robin (and it's [[Running Gag|tipping over]]) and the Robin even has a racing circuit where [[Running Gag|tipping over]] is so common there are established techniques for righting oneself right there on the track.
* Yahoo automotive contributor Tim Cernea has several of these stories, the most tropeworthy being his [httphttps://voicesweb.archive.org/web/20211014154544/https://www.yahoo.com/the-best-car-ever-owned-11309842.html?cat=27 1965 Ford Falcon Ranchero.]{{Dead link}} In true handyman fashion, he described the car losing its fuel tank on the highway as "a minor setback".
* The G-Wiz is a very tiny electric car. Ok, technically it is legally a "Heavy Quadbike" in Britain for it's extreme lack of power. It has extremely poor acceleration, you can't use any of the electronics such as the radio, since it will kill the G-Wiz's very small battery life, and basically disintegrates in a crash.
* And then there was the [[Great Depression]], in which motorists couldn't afford to maintain (or, in some cases, even fuel) cars they'd acquired as luxuries in the [[Roaring Twenties]]. More than a few broken-down vehicles were abandoned during the [[Grapes of Wrath]]-like trek westward out of the [[Dust Bowl]]. The most infamous vehicle in Hoovertown was the Bennett Buggy (aka the Hoover Wagon), a Model T Ford pulled by a horse for want of fuel. Only [[Sarcasm Mode|the wealthy]] could afford the two-horsepower model.
* Harley-Davidsons developed a dubious reputation for being Alleged Motorcycles due to their supposed lack of reliability, though this was more due to haphazard modifications by smart-aleck enthusiasts who customise their bikes without accounting for whether the two-wheeled Frankenstein's monster they created would take them places in one piece. To the detractors' credit however, the MoCo did suffer a decline in quality during their [[Dork Age]] when they were part of American Machine and Foundry, a [[Mega Corp]] known for producing nuclear facilities, yachts and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|tennis rackets]]. Such was the AMF era's notoriety that their factory lines had sections dedicated to rectifying any defects that showed up in their bikes during production, leading to the "Harley-Davidson" name to be mocked as "Hardly Ableson", "Hardly Driveable", and "Hogly Ferguson".
* The ill-fated ''Titan'' submersible by OceanGate was widely criticised and ridiculed as an Alleged Sub after it imploded under the Atlantic Ocean during an attempt to explore the wreck of the RMS ''Titanic''. Despite assurances by the late CEO Stockton Rush — who died in the implosion — that the sub was safe and that excessive safety regulations hamper innovation, many have pointed out the jury-rigged construction which led to the tragedy. While some have also mocked OceanGate's use of an off-the-shelf Logitech Xbox 360 controller (various news outlets [[Media Research Failure|described]] said controller as a "knockoff [[PlayStation]] controller"; the device was designed for Windows PCs in mind using an Xbox 360 control scheme as per the XInput standard) this practice of using commodity game controllers is nothing new as various industries and the military have made use of game interface devices due to their familiarity and low cost.
 
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