The Baby Stompers: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|''Thank you for listening to... [[Album Title Drop|the greatest classic hits of the 60's, 70's and 80's]], by [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]].''|'''[[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]], "Ben, Fuck"'''}}

[[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] is one of the most important [[Death Metal]] bands of the new millennium. Formed in the better secondary school in a backwater town in Australia in early 2010, the band released the rare demo, titled ''Stomping the Baby Demo'', which consisted of an early version of their crowd favourite, "Stomp". This song was their more traditional approach to the death metal genre, and is seen by many of its fans as a ‘proto-Baby Stompers’, particularly as it is co-credited to Jacob Van Andel (best known for the crowd favourite epic dark ambient song "Incredible") as a solo artist.

From this approach they immediately entered the left field, producing classic after classic of unusual music featuring less traditional death metal elements such as [[Neoclassical Punk Zydeco Rockabilly|ambient wails, jazz ensembles and eclectic spoken word passages]]. [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] never failed to surprise, elegantly crafting track after track of fascinating, captivating music. The use of expletives in their music, such as in crowd favourite "Fuck", of which nearly every lyric is ‘cunt’, and references to anal sex and bleeding induced therefrom are common elements in their music, as far as any element in such an eclectic and surprising band can said to be ‘common’!

From their opening EP, ''The Taking a Shit EP'', which many fans know comes from the demo title of fan favourite "The Joy of Masturbating", "The Pain of Taking a Big Shit", the band’s fanbase was cemented. Aggressive touring followed, with [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] often playing three hours of music at up to three clubs a night. As they were young, most of the concerts were improvised, and every single concert has been recorded by the fans, being traded eagerly. Before his death by misadventure (the accident has never fully been able to be explained, especially by the members of the band themselves) at the age of twenty-seven, former third drummer Johnny Fuck would enter the crowd after concerts to hunt down bootleggers and attack them. The band’s often violent relationship with its fans was perhaps best exemplified when, famously, the entire band once lynched a fan who called them ‘not metal’. In spite of this, band support remains strong. When the drumbeats of crowd favourite "Ted" is heard, the entire crowd screams ‘Stompaz’ and in return main founder Kevin Morris throws bottles of beer into the crowd good-naturedly.

The ensuing years were remembered by few, least of all by the members of the band themselves. In a similar outlook to that on [[Woodstock]], at which the band played twice, the view is held that ‘if you remember it, you weren’t really there’. Fans blame Jacob Van Andel’s famous three days of sobriety for what is commonly held to be an abominable decline in the quality of their music midway through the nineties. Firstly, the introduction of an acoustic guitar into fan favourite blues-thrash epic "Wanking a Bleeding Heart" was nearly universally panned, but the indescribable vitriol the fans felt for their former heroes was only exacerbated by their commercial success on the release of their first video clip, for fan favourite jazzcore epic "Sperming on a Ruptured Fish Anus", which controversially featured primarily Van Andel [[Exactly What It Says Onon the Tin|ejaculating on a ruptured fish anus]].

The band’s next release was a [[Greatest Hits Album]] [[In Name Only]], ostensibly drawing from their material from the 60s, 70s and 80s, though in actuality was merely the ''Taking A Shit EP'' with seven new songs, including a rerecording of crowd favourite "Stomp": ''The Baby Stompers All Time Classics of the 60's, 70's and 80's''. This album sold well, though fans noted that on the same day as it was released a new mix of fan favourite [[Overly Long Title|F16 or How I Learned about Male to Male Sexual Relations from that Weird 40 Year Old Guy at Summer Camp When I Was 8 Years Old in the Back of His Ute, I Was Dressed in a Small Petite Dress and Covered In Vaseline Before the Police Pulled up. This Led to Me Buying a MacBook Pro and Writing Depressing Indie Songs about my Sexual Sexperiences and that Seedy 40 Year Olds Should Not Be Trusted.]] was released, causing fans to believe that they had been slighted. [[TV Tropes]] strongly urges fans to collect all releases by this band, as only by exploring their immense back catalogue can a true appreciation for [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] be found.

The most common voices heard on [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]]’ music are those of Morris and of Jacob Van Andel. Van Andel’s history with this band is a complex one: he initially recorded a demo with the young band, only stepping into a main role after crowd favourite frontman Armstrong committed suicide when he was twenty-seven. Van Andel is often credited by the fans as introducing the intrinsic death metal elements which remain a core component of the band’s music to this day.

In early 2010, [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] was formed by Kevin, who recruited Jacob in order to write a song, "Stomp" for a demo entitled ''Stomping The Baby Demo''. The next year, the band, now featuring Jacob as an official member, recorded along with a string of guest musicians the ''Taking A Shit EP'', followed soon by ''The Baby Stompers All Time Classics of the 60's, 70's and 80's'', which was the ''Taking A Shit EP'' rounded out by seven more songs, including a rerecording of "Stomp".

Then, with new members Ted and Dylan, ''The New Album: The Mowcore Era'' was started, with [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] complete as they are today. About halfway into the recording of the album, the band became bored and instead worked on the presently (and likely forever) unfinished [[Death Metal]] EP, the ''Wanking The Baby EP''. This included their most famous track, ''Sperming On A Ruptured Fish Anus''.

[[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] released one last album before their breakup near the end of 2011, titled, fittingly, ''The Last Album: It's Finished''. This album contains one track, "We Can't Be Fucked (Fuck You)" and, despite the dubious title, is a real, heartfelt farewell from a glorious, mad band.

After their breakup, if anything [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] became more prolific. Several projects are in the works, including ""Walrus": The Walrus Single" and "Death Metal Zebra", and a ten song single has been released for "I Wanna Sex Up A Crying Charmander In His Sexy Butthole While Jerking Off His Two-Inch Floppy", a song which heavily references [[Pokémon]] and is principally about molesting charmander.

[[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] are:

[[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]] has an official Facebook page [http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Baby-Stompers/167805576631222 here], with several songs available for listening. Read up on the best of their songs [[The Baby Stompers (Music)/Awesome Music|here]].

'''{{Discography''':}}

* [[Added Alliterative AppealAlliteration]]: From ''Fingering The Mother Bear'':

{{quote| I found the cave was full of [[Everything's Worse Withwith Bears|bears]]. Big, burly brown bears. And one bitch, well that bitch was the biggest brown burly, busty, buxom big-boobed bear I'd ever laid eyes on.}}

** Many songs, including the last song ever recorded by [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]], ''We Can't Be Fucked (Fuck You)'', contain the line "It's finished". [[Tear Jerker|Beautifully]], the last album has this in its title: ''The Last Album: It's Finished''.

* [[A Day in Thethe Limelight]]: "This is a song... by Ted. It's about... ''themes''... and - and fuckin' dragons, and trolls and shit."

{{quote| I hate you, Ted. [[Take That|Fuck off]].}}

* [[Doing It for Thethe Art]]: ''The Last Album: It's Finished'' clocks in at just under three minutes and contains one track, "We Can't Be Fucked (Fuck You)". Common theory and near-[[Word of God]] is that the brevity of this album is to demonstrate this sentiment.

{{quote| Kevin: Sometimes, you just can’t be fucked, you know? You want to do something but you can’t be fucked. So you don’t. You just say ‘fuck you’ to the problem and just [[Metaphorgotten|walk out of the recording studio and get trashed]]. And that’s what we’re trying to capture with this record.<br />

Jacob: All our songs are statements, and all our albums are visions. The vision we have here is “We can’t be fucked”.<br />

* [[Everything's Worse Withwith Bears]]: Or much, much better...

* [[Exactly What It Says Onon the Tin]]: Guess what happens in ''Sperming On A Ruptured Fish Anus''. Or ''Wanking The Baby''. Or ''Fingering The Mother Bear''.

* [[Intercourse Withwith You]]: This pops up a lot in [[The Baby Stompers (Music)|The Baby Stompers]]' work, largely anal sex. The song "Ted" is about the narrators receiving anal sex from the eponymous Ted (Ted! Stick your big dick up my arsehole! Ted! It's bleeding... ah... So painful...) - though [[Fridge Logic|presumably not at the same time]]; F16 is about an eight year-old being anally [[Shotacon|raped by a forty year-old man]] according to the title, with the lyrics referring more so to sex, often anal, in general; "Cheese Grater (Grate My Nipples)" deals with an intensely bizarre lesbian sexual encounter that gets steadily more ridiculous.

{{quote| Didn't know the petrol ratio. Fuckin' couldn't mow me laaaaaawn...}}

{{quote| Fuckin' cancer. Mowed that bitch out. ...ain't comin' back. ''[[Crowning Moment of Awesome|It's gone]]''!}}

{{quote| "Wafer On The Wall": We'll just record and... let it come to us.<br />

"Cow Dick": That's a [[Title Drop|cow dick]].<br />

"Fuck": Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt...<br />

"I Wanna Lay You Down By the Fire and Make Sweet Love to You While I Lovingly Caress Your Nipples": Nipples. [[Crowning Moment of Funny|Fuck off Ted, I hate you.]]<br />

"Ben, Fuck": Fuck, Ben!<br />

And perhaps the greatest example of all...<br />