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{{
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Described as "the worst fantasy novella ever", ''
The story is well known for its abundant cliches, shoddy spelling, [[Flat Character|flat characters]], wooden dialogue and [[Purple Prose|overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[Said Bookism|Nothing is ever "said"]] - instead it is "queried" or [[That Came Out Wrong|"ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[Perfectly Cromulent Word|whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[Deus Ex Machina|randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph [[Groin Attack]].
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The most widely-known and -circulated copy of the story comes to an abrupt and unsatisfactory halt, and for many years it was believed that the ending was lost forever (or even, in some quarters, that the story was never completed). Recent years have seen the separate discoveries of two intact copies of the fanzine in which ''The Eye of Argon'' debuted, so it is now known how the tale ends. (With multiple exclamation marks, it turns out.)
At science fiction conventions, ''The Eye
A [
As reading it raw may cause brain damage, you can settle for [https://web.archive.org/web/20130517120248/http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html the MST'd version], or this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikM_Lh8Q0xo Dramatic Reading of Chapter One on You Tube]. For those whom are unable to read it sober, we have the [[Drinking Game]] over [[The Eye of Argon/Drinking Game|here]].
Compare ''[[Atlanta Nights]]'' and ''[[My Immortal]]''.
{{tropelist}}
* [[
* [[Accidentally Accurate]] - There is in fact such a thing as [
* [[Angrish]] - Prince Agaphim starts to spout "Muffled, syllibant gibberish" when Grignir calls him a fat idiot.
* [[Anticlimax]] - After pages of over-the-top fight scenes, Grignr's final enemy is a mystical leech that sucks [[Overdrawn At the Blood Bank|an absurd amount of blood]] from his leg only to die when burned with a torch.
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* [[Fat Bastard]] - Agaphim.
* [[Fate Worse Than Death]] - Agafnd persuades Agaphim that sentencing Grignr to a life of slave labor would be more of a punishment than being tortured to death.
{{quote|
* [[Fiery Redhead]] - Grignr.
* [[Gorn]] - Grignr takes a quarter of a chapter to rip a rat in half, and no grody detail is spared.
* [[Green Eyed Red Head]] - Grignr.
* [[Groin Attack]]
{{quote|
* [[Heroes Want Redheads]] - Grignr falls for Carthena.
* [[Hooker
* [[Human Sacrifice]] - Grignr rescues Carthena from this fate.
* [[I Have You Now, My Pretty]] - Carthena in the hands of the head shaman.
* [[Improvised Weapon]] - Grignr stabs a guard with the sharpened pelvic bone of a rat.
* [[Low Fantasy]]
* [[Moral Dissonance]] - Grignr and Carthena both exhibit this in spades.
* [[Noble Savage]] - Gringr claims to be one, although by this point in the story he's gone out of his way to steal a petty bauble.
{{quote|
* [[No Ending]] - The most widely-circulated copy of the story ends abruptly during Grignr's final battle. Some people continue to believe that this is how the original version actually ended.
* [[Produce Pelting]] - Agaphim is "often assaulted by hurtling stones and rotting fruits" when he leaves his palace.
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* [[The Stoner]] - The illustration on Page 32 of the facsimile (presumably of Agaphim the evil prince) shows him smoking something that looks like a joint.
* [[Talking Is a Free Action]]
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* [[Thong of Shielding]] - Grignr wears a G-string. How it manages to have folds is anyone's guess.
* [[Thud and Blunder]] - An example of the depths that this subgenre can sink to.
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* [[Vampiric Draining]] - The blob at the end sucks blood like a leech.
* [[Vomit Indiscretion Shot]] -
{{quote|
* [[Wanton Cruelty to
* [[What Do You Mean
{{quote|
** He also spends about six long sentences describing a guy falling over after being [[Groin Attack|kicked in the crotch]].
* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]] - "sayeth the king" would be correct, except that it's the wrong tense.
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----
=== [[Adam Cadre]]'s ''Mystery Science Theater 3000'' fan-[[
* [[Fate Worse Than Death]] - The straight lines from the original story is not left un-riffed. It happens so frequently it's lampshaded.
{{quote|
'''Crow''': Insert joke about having to read THE EYE OF ARGON here. }}
* [[Heroic BSOD]] - The abrupt, non-existent ending leaves Crow utterly broken, and the others are forced to leave him behind in the theater. [http://keithpalmer.ca/mst3k/favourites/book-ads.txt Fortunately], he recovers.
* [[Magic:
* [[MST]] - [https://web.archive.org/web/20130517120248/http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html One of the classics], written by [[Adam Cadre]] in 1996.
{{quote|
'''Crow''': ''It flushed pale? Did it blanch red after that?''
'''Theis''': ''... then pastily lit up to a lustrous cherry red radiance.''
'''Crow''': ''Hold me.'' }}
* [[Running Gag]] -
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'''Crow''': "You mean [the normal word, such as 'blood']?"
'''Mike''': "Let's not jump to conclusions." }}
** And anytime the word "slut" is used:
{{quote|
** And the first few times Grignr's name is mentioned, Tom remarks on the absurdity of his name ([[Wheel of Fortune|"I'd like to buy a vowel!"]]). [[Overused Running Gag|Then the others persuade him he's getting tiresome, and he stops]].
*** And, also:
{{quote|
'''Mike''': Vesuvius! [a different mountain each time] }}
** And ''also''...
{{quote|
'''Mike''': "Albert's cousin from [American state]." }}
** This message brought to you by the Booze Council.
*** Later replaced by the Death Council.
** And ''also'' also...
{{quote|
'''Tom''': --a 17-year-old Senate page. }}
*** There are also repeated references to Clarence Thomas.
** And more also...
{{quote|
** And [[Overly Long Gag|more
{{quote|
'''Mike''': When I think of [character trait], I think of three names: [two noted names in the field of said trait], Grignr. }}
** "You tell me, you're the writer!"
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[[Category:Fantasy Literature]]
[[Category:Thud and Blunder]]
[[Category:The Eye
[[Category:
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