The Family for the Whole Family: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
{{quote|''This is one Hollywood lesson that's legitimately dangerous. Real crooks show up pissed off, desperate and with weapons. And, even strung out on meth, they're not stupid enough to be foiled by quickly scampering under coffee tables (even crackheads are known to negotiate simple obstacles). The real world has a term for [[Home Alone|kids who try to use Micro Machines to outsmart bad guys during a robbery]]: missing and presumed dead.''|'''Joe Russo''', ''[[Cracked.com]]'': ''[http://www.cracked.com/article_16694_6-horrible-lessons-hollywood-loves-teach-kids.html 6 Horrible Lessons Hollywood Loves to Teach Kids].''}}
What do you do when you need some big, tough guys to menace the heroes, but don't want to risk having them actually, you know, ''hurt'' anyone? You call in The Family For The Whole Family. They're not the scary, make-it-look-like-an-accident mobsters seen in [[The Mafia|Mafia]] movies; they're the [[Harmless Villain|harmless]], ineffectual, and very, ''very'' [[Too Dumb to Live|stupid]] mobsters that are a staple of family-oriented comedies. No matter how many of them are in their group, you can be sure of two things: there will only be one shared gun among them all, and they'll always forget that there's a trigger on it when they try to threaten someone.
Despite the name, this brand of goon doesn't necessarily ''have'' to be a member of [[The Mafia]]. They can be of any group who is normally considered [[Villain by Default|dangerous by definition]] (i.e. gangsters, thieves, spies, hitmen, [[Yakuza]], escaped criminals et al), but when appearing in the context of a PG-rated film becomes highly susceptible to messy booby traps, [[Banana Peel|banana peels]], and precocious youngsters who [[I Know Karate|know karate]].
In the 1990s, it was popular to add these characters to [[Dom Com]] movies to pad the script with villains for a ''[[Home Alone]]''-inspired climax. Just to drive home the point of them being totally superfluous to the point of the movie, they are totally absent from most trailers and summaries of the film - only existing for some B-plot slapstick gags to add an extra 20 minutes on to what would otherwise be only 1 hour of screentime.
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** The pirates seem less effectual than they actually are because we only ever see them fighting Porco, who is quite possibly the most skilled ace in the Mediterranean. At the beginning of the film, the Mama Aiuto Gang manages to heist a cargo ship and take a group of schoolgirls hostage. Given, the girls proceed to walk all over them, but that illustrates their latent honorable tendencies.
* The "[[Yakuza|Very Nice People]]" in ''[[Hayate the Combat Butler]]''.
* Surprisingly, [[Pokémon|Team Rocket]] is only on the border of this. Sure, the [[Terrible Trio]] are G-rated [[Harmless Villain
{{quote|'''Max''': All those Team Rocket guys, and us only having three to deal with? We're lucky.}}
** Giovanni straddles both sides of the line, actually. First off, there's especially his sinister and monomaniacal side which he showcased on the Mewtwo movies. And then...there are scenes...like...you know when... [[Fetish Fuel|That hunkahunka manloaf is covered with insect Pokemon]], and his Greek god body in general. Of course, his random bouts of Pokemon-related psychosis can also make him [[Nightmare Fuel|seem more scary to some.]] Never get between a man and his dreams...[[Berserk Button|or obsessions, after all.]]
*** The scenes mentioned were only [[Imagine Spot|Meowth's boss fantasies]]. ([[Ho Yay|Take that as you will.]]) Though who knows what Giovanni does in his spare time...
* The Oedo Family in ''[[Gokusen]]''. The town's people loves them, the grandfather utterly loves his granddaughter, and they are ready to help anyway they can. Did I mention they are one of the most powerful yakuzas in Japan?
* The Wong Family in ''[[Rosario
== Films ==
* ''[[UHF (film)|UHF]]'' (Variant form: each one packs a gun, but they still forget what guns are for).
** Even RJ Fletcher couldn't get them off for murder, especially considering what happens to him at the end, they were just being (rightfully) cautious and using their guns to intimidate. It's not as funny as having them be just plain incompetent though.
** By the time the goons got "Supplised!" it looked they really were ready to just shoot George and Stanley.
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** They still play it straight enough by falling for said traps repeatedly.
* Ma Fratelli and her sons from ''[[The Goonies]]'', in this case a ''literal'' family fit for the whole family.
** While that is true, they're still smarter than the
* The idiot kidnappers from ''Baby's Day Out''.
* The mafia mooks in ''[[Man Of The House]]''.
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* The sharks in ''[[Shark Tale]]''.
* A group of mobsters help out [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] and Vanessa Williams in ''[[Eraser]]''. They're a bit of a subversion in that they're fairly competent when they have to be (skillfully slaughtering their more evil counterparts), but they're still pretty stupid much of the time.
== Literature ==
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* [[Mystery Science Theater 3000|Mike Nelson's]] novel ''Death Rat!'' features several expatriate Danes observing the protagonist. Their ineptitude stems mostly from the fact that they aren't really even bad guys; they're just old associates of the antagonist who had been browbeaten into assisting him.
* While not as inept as other examples, the Mob in the ''[[Myth Adventures]]'' novels is bizarrely gullible, falling for even more elementary con games than the series' average villains.
* The [[Star Wars Expanded Universe]] is famous for its [[Rooting for the Empire|lovable villains]], but a few
** The Diversity Alliance, a human-hating Marxist group in Young Jedi Knights. Being a children's book, yeah.
** The Lost Tribe of the Sith, who don't seem as dark as Bane's Sith, Kun's Sith, or Lumiya's Sith. That said, they have plans to use Ben's DNA to create a master race of Sith.
** Finally, Abeloth. Relative to [[Eldritch Abomination
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* The ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' games have Sonny Resetti, a gangsterish mole who blows up at players who shut down without saving, but never does anything to them. Which is good, because you'll see him even if the game froze and you ''couldn't'' save.
** Probably more related to this trope (how is Resetti gangsterish?) would be "Crazy Redd", a fox who runs a furniture black market. Complete with needing a password to get in, police on the watch for him, and the occasional painting bought from him being a forgery. However, most of this is played for laughs, and if you have good insurance, you'll get refunded (at least some) for the phony paintings.
** Tom Nook, THE resident mobster. Redd is just a crook, but Nook brings his nephews into the mix.
* The Plob from ''[[Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime]]''
* Almost all of the [[Mooks|Grunts of various teams]] from [[Pokémon]]. They never truly pose a threat past Poisoning all of your Pokémon to a knockout with their [[Goddamn Bats|Goddamn Zubat]]. Once you get to the Commanders, Admins, and Leaders, though...
** In the games, Giovanni of Team Rocket is just plain ''bad''. The first two times you run into him, he threatens that he will make you "experience a world of pain!" Yeah, that guy threatens an eleven year old with physical violence.
** Averted in ''[[Pokémon Colosseum]]'' and ''[[Pokémon XD]]''; while various members of Cipher could be goofy, the entire organization, even the low-level flunkies, was treated as incredibly
* In [[Professor Layton and the Unwound Future]], the mafia is actually referred to as "The Family". However, the only run-ins you have with them are solving puzzles. There's even a [[Lampshade Hanging]] that they're not allowed to hurt you.
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** ''The Simpsons'' mafia can be consider something of a subversion, as some of the stuff they do is ridiculous and played for laughs, and other stuff is actually violent or highly illegal (like making loans and beating people when they can't pay them, or rigging sports events) yet [[Crosses the Line Twice|it's also played for laughs]].
** The robot Mafia plays this up. The entire mafia is only three robots. They act tough, but so far they haven't killed anybody onscreen. They machine gunned a robot who owed them in their first appearance, but being a robot, he just got back up. One of them mentions giving somebody [[Cement Shoes]], which he enjoyed, because they were lighter than his lead ones. They came pretty close to burning the Planet Express crew up though, and they would have killed Flexo if Bender hadn't bent the unbendable girder they dropped on him.
* Big Daddy's organization in ''[[The Fairly
** [[Blatant Lies|Yes...garbage collecting]].
*** Subsequent episodes (as well as the premiere) show that yes, Big Daddy's company ''does'' do actual garbage collecting, just...with mob-like tactics and some gangster work on the side.
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[[Category:Criminals]]
[[Category:Organized Crime Tropes]]
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
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