The Family for the Whole Family: Difference between revisions

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{{trope}}
{{quote|''This is one Hollywood lesson that's legitimately dangerous. Real crooks show up pissed off, desperate and with weapons. And, even strung out on meth, they're not stupid enough to be foiled by quickly scampering under coffee tables (even crackheads are known to negotiate simple obstacles). The real world has a term for [[Home Alone|kids who try to use Micro Machines to outsmart bad guys during a robbery]]: missing and presumed dead.''|'''Joe Russo''', ''[[Cracked.com]]'': ''[http://www.cracked.com/article_16694_6-horrible-lessons-hollywood-loves-teach-kids.html 6 Horrible Lessons Hollywood Loves to Teach Kids].''}}
 
What do you do when you need some big, tough guys to menace the heroes, but don't want to risk having them actually, you know, ''hurt'' anyone? You call in The Family For The Whole Family. They're not the scary, make-it-look-like-an-accident mobsters seen in [[The Mafia|Mafia]] movies; they're the [[Harmless Villain|harmless]], ineffectual, and very, ''very'' [[Too Dumb to Live|stupid]] mobsters that are a staple of family-oriented comedies. No matter how many of them are in their group, you can be sure of two things: there will only be one shared gun among them all, and they'll always forget that there's a trigger on it when they try to threaten someone.
 
Despite the name, this brand of goon doesn't necessarily ''have'' to be a member of [[The Mafia]]. They can be of any group who is normally considered [[Villain Byby Default|dangerous by definition]] (i.e. gangsters, thieves, spies, hitmen, [[Yakuza]], escaped criminals et al), but when appearing in the context of a PG-rated film becomes highly susceptible to messy booby traps, [[Banana Peel|banana peels]], and precocious youngsters who [[I Know Karate|know karate]].
 
In the 1990s, it was popular to add these characters to [[Dom Com]] movies to pad the script with villains for a ''[[Home Alone]]''-inspired climax. Just to drive home the point of them being totally superfluous to the point of the movie, they are totally absent from most trailers and summaries of the film - only existing for some B-plot slapstick gags to add an extra 20 minutes on to what would otherwise be only 1 hour of screentime.
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== Anime & Manga ==
* The Dola Gang from ''[[Laputa: Castle in Thethe Sky]]'', moreso the sons than Dola herself
* The Air Pirates in ''[[Porco Rosso]]'' aren't very skilled, either. Curtis was more dangerous then the whole bunch of them.
** The pirates seem less effectual than they actually are because we only ever see them fighting Porco, who is quite possibly the most skilled ace in the Mediterranean. At the beginning of the film, the Mama Aiuto Gang manages to heist a cargo ship and take a group of schoolgirls hostage. Given, the girls proceed to walk all over them, but that illustrates their latent honorable tendencies.
* The "[[Yakuza|Very Nice People]]" in ''[[Hayate the Combat Butler (Manga)|Hayate the Combat Butler]]''.
* Surprisingly, [[Pokémon|Team Rocket]] is only on the border of this. Sure, the [[Terrible Trio]] are G-rated [[Harmless Villain|Harmless Villains]]s, but every once in a while you're reminded that they're the oddballs of a larger and much more dangerous syndicate. In fact, Jessie, James, and Meowth are very lucky to still have their job!
{{quote| '''Max''': All those Team Rocket guys, and us only having three to deal with? We're lucky.}}
** Giovanni straddles both sides of the line, actually. First off, there's especially his sinister and monomaniacal side which he showcased on the Mewtwo movies. And then...there are scenes...like...you know when... [[Fetish Fuel|That hunkahunka manloaf is covered with insect Pokemon]], and his Greek god body in general. Of course, his random bouts of Pokemon-related psychosis can also make him [[Nightmare Fuel|seem more scary to some.]] Never get between a man and his dreams...[[Berserk Button|or obsessions, after all.]]
*** The scenes mentioned were only [[Imagine Spot|Meowth's boss fantasies]]. ([[Ho Yay|Take that as you will.]]) Though who knows what Giovanni does in his spare time...
* The Oedo Family in ''[[Gokusen]]''. The town's people loves them, the grandfather utterly loves his granddaughter, and they are ready to help anyway they can. Did I mention they are one of the most powerful yakuzas in Japan?
* The Wong Family in ''[[Rosario to+ Vampire]]'' employs numerous powerful and intimidating monsters, they were founded by one of the Three Dark Lords, and they're currently headed by the most powerful [[Sword and Sorcerer]] [[Battle Couple]] around. They throw a ridiculously lavish and flamboyant welcome party when the heir brings home friends, and Inner Moka notes them to be "a noisy bunch". Overall, they're more cheerful than you'd expect.
 
 
== Films ==
* ''[[UHF (Filmfilm)|UHF]]'' (Variant form: each one packs a gun, but they still forget what guns are for).
** Even RJ Fletcher couldn't get them off for murder, especially considering what happens to him at the end, they were just being (rightfully) cautious and using their guns to intimidate. It's not as funny as having them be just plain incompetent though.
** By the time the goons got "Supplised!" it looked they really were ready to just shoot George and Stanley.
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** By that same token, the bumbling spies from ''[[Home Alone]] 3''. Bumbling burglars are believable; but the inherent stupidity of a band of highly-trained secret agents doing anything other than simply shooting the little brat between his eyes caused most viewers to pretend this installment [[Fanon Discontinuity|never happened]].
** Actually, the ends of both Harry and Marv's appearances subvert this trope. They eventually ''do'' catch the kid, and they ''are'' planning to kill him (with [[Cold-Blooded Torture]] in the first one), and they're only stopped by the intervention of an adult.
** In fact you could argue that Harry and Marv are a subversion, as in the beginning they have no plans to harm Kevin at all, simply tie him up and get him out of the way while they empty the house. It's only after going through all of Kevin's traps that they get pissed off enough to actually kill him. It's ''Kevin'' that gets [[Hoist Byby His Own Petard]].
** They still play it straight enough by falling for said traps repeatedly.
* Ma Fratelli and her sons from ''[[The Goonies]]'', in this case a ''literal'' family fit for the whole family.
** While that is true, they're still smarter than the cops -- justcops—just [[Adults Are Useless|not as smart as the kids]] ([[Plot Induced Stupidity|unless the plot requires it]]).
* The idiot kidnappers from ''Baby's Day Out''.
* The mafia mooks in ''[[Man Of The House]]''.
* Pulled off substantially better in ''[[Flushed Away]]'': the main minions are rats, but later a frog hitman shows up, along with [[Acceptable Targets|French]] [[McNinja|ninja-frogs]]. It would be kind of mean except that their leader is voiced by French-Moroccan actor Jean Reno, who's clearly in on the joke.
* ''[[Three Ninjas]]''; an entire movie series where FREAKIN' NINJAS are effortlessly defeated by children, who realistically, would get slaughtered like helpless puppies. Particularly pathetic in the case of Tum-Tum, the youngest of the group, who looks to be about only five years old. Sure the ninjas in the films weren't exactly of the finest order (wearing black outfits in broad daylight, among other things), but still the idea that a small child can beat up legions of grown men, trained to be dangerous combatants, gets a little ridiculous really quickly. He even rated second place on [http://www.cracked.com/article_16433_6-supposed-action-heroes-you-could-probably-take-in-fight_p2.html 6 Supposed Action Heroes You Could Probably Take In A Fight].
{{quote| ''You know what happens when a 5-year-old performs a flying kick against a grown man? The kid falls on his barely- out-of-diapers ass. Why does this happen? Physics. It's the law and everyone knows you can't fight the law, especially if you weigh 30 pounds and stand 3-feet-tall.''}}
* The movie musical ''[[Bugsy Malone]]'', with its rival gangs of kids whose Tommy guns fire custard instead of bullets.
* The Rat Pack, particularly in ''[[Robin And The Seven Hoods]]'' and the original ''Ocean's Eleven''.
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* The sharks in ''[[Shark Tale]]''.
* A group of mobsters help out [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] and Vanessa Williams in ''[[Eraser]]''. They're a bit of a subversion in that they're fairly competent when they have to be (skillfully slaughtering their more evil counterparts), but they're still pretty stupid much of the time.
 
 
== Literature ==
* ''[[Guys and Dolls]]'' has Big Jule from Chicago. Although he carries a gun, he only uses its existence to threaten people and is easily disarmed with one punch.
* [[MST3KMystery Science Theater 3000|Mike Nelson's]] novel ''Death Rat!'' features several expatriate Danes observing the protagonist. Their ineptitude stems mostly from the fact that they aren't really even bad guys; they're just old associates of the antagonist who had been browbeaten into assisting him.
* While not as inept as other examples, the Mob in the ''[[Myth Adventures]]'' novels is bizarrely gullible, falling for even more elementary con games than the series' average villains.
* The [[Star Wars Expanded Universe]] is famous for its [[Rooting for Thethe Empire|lovable villains]], but a few villains--andvillains—and heroes--comeheroes—come to mind:
** The Diversity Alliance, a human-hating Marxist group in Young Jedi Knights. Being a children's book, yeah.
** The Lost Tribe of the Sith, who don't seem as dark as Bane's Sith, Kun's Sith, or Lumiya's Sith. That said, they have plans to use Ben's DNA to create a master race of Sith.
** Finally, Abeloth. Relative to [[Eldritch Abomination|Eldritch Abominations]]s in other literature, Abeloth is relatively tame. Also relative to [[New Jedi Order|three]] [[Dark Nest Trilogy|previous]] [[Legacy of the Force|series]], she's definitely [[Lighter and Softer]].
 
 
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== Video Games ==
* The Pianta Syndicate from ''[[Paper Mario: theThe Thousand Year Door (Video Game)|Paper Mario the Thousand -Year Door]].''
* The ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' games have Sonny Resetti, a gangsterish mole who blows up at players who shut down without saving, but never does anything to them. Which is good, because you'll see him even if the game froze and you ''couldn't'' save.
** Probably more related to this trope (how is Resetti gangsterish?) would be "Crazy Redd", a fox who runs a furniture black market. Complete with needing a password to get in, police on the watch for him, and the occasional painting bought from him being a forgery. However, most of this is played for laughs, and if you have good insurance, you'll get refunded (at least some) for the phony paintings.
** Tom Nook, THE resident mobster. Redd is just a crook, but Nook brings his nephews into the mix.
* The Plob from ''[[Dragon Quest Heroes Rocket Slime (Video Game)|Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime]]''
* Almost all of the [[Mooks|Grunts of various teams]] from [[Pokémon]]. They never truly pose a threat past Poisoning all of your Pokémon to a knockout with their [[Goddamn Bats|Goddamn Zubat]]. Once you get to the Commanders, Admins, and Leaders, though...
** In the games, Giovanni of Team Rocket is just plain ''bad''. The first two times you run into him, he threatens that he will make you "experience a world of pain!" Yeah, that guy threatens an eleven year old with physical violence.
** Averted in ''[[Pokémon Colosseum]]'' and ''[[Pokémon XD]]''; while various members of Cipher could be goofy, the entire organization, even the low-level flunkies, was treated as incredibly dangerous--sillydangerous—silly goons were the exception, not the rule.
* In [[Professor Layton and Thethe Unwound Future]], the mafia is actually referred to as "The Family". However, the only run-ins you have with them are solving puzzles. There's even a [[Lampshade Hanging]] that they're not allowed to hurt you.
 
 
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** ''The Simpsons'' mafia can be consider something of a subversion, as some of the stuff they do is ridiculous and played for laughs, and other stuff is actually violent or highly illegal (like making loans and beating people when they can't pay them, or rigging sports events) yet [[Crosses the Line Twice|it's also played for laughs]].
** The robot Mafia plays this up. The entire mafia is only three robots. They act tough, but so far they haven't killed anybody onscreen. They machine gunned a robot who owed them in their first appearance, but being a robot, he just got back up. One of them mentions giving somebody [[Cement Shoes]], which he enjoyed, because they were lighter than his lead ones. They came pretty close to burning the Planet Express crew up though, and they would have killed Flexo if Bender hadn't bent the unbendable girder they dropped on him.
* Big Daddy's organization in ''[[The Fairly Odd ParentsOddParents]]'' acts like your typical gangster family, with Big Daddy himself even voiced by [[The Sopranos|Tony Sirocio]], but they work in garbage collection.
** [[Blatant Lies|Yes...garbage collecting]].
*** Subsequent episodes (as well as the premiere) show that yes, Big Daddy's company ''does'' do actual garbage collecting, just...with mob-like tactics and some gangster work on the side.
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