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[[File:Bill-Simmons_6247.jpg|frame]]
Bill Simmons is '''[http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index The Sports Guy]''', known for his pop-culture-reference-laden columns about current events in sports. He started out writing columns as the "Boston Sports Guy" in 1997, which were successful enough to attract the attention of ESPN; they hired him to write for their "Page 2" section in 2001, where he's been ever since. Since 2007, he's also hosted a regular [[Podcast]] called ''The B.S. Report''. In the summer of 2011, Simmons became the editor-in-chief of [http://www.grantland.com/ Grantland], an ESPN-owned off-shoot blog staffed by a number of noted sports and pop culture writers, including several you wouldn't expect to write about sports (''[[Dave Eggers]]''?).
Simmons is a native of Boston, and as such is a massive fan of Boston's sports teams (especially the Red Sox and Celtics), but moved to Los Angeles in 2002; he has since started rooting for the [[Butt Monkey|Clippers]] in basketball and (during the 2011 lockout) the [[Butt Monkey|Kings]] in hockey.
Simmons has also written two books, ''Now I Can Die In Peace'' (about the Boston Red Sox' 2004 World Series championship) and ''The Book of Basketball'' (which is [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|a book of Simmons' opinions on basketball]]). He was also a writer for ''[[Jimmy Kimmel Live]]'' for a time, and served as executive producer for [[E Ss]] ''30 for 30'' documentaries.
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* [[The Tyson Zone]]
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* [[Catch Phrase]]: "Yup, these are my readers." at the end of his mailbag columns, always in response to a series of letters that reveals how obsessive or bizzare his fans are.
** "I will now light myself on fire" when having to admit an unpleasant truth he doesn't like (e.g., admitting Kobe Bryant, star player for the Los Angeles Lakers and someone Simmons actively dislikes, was the [http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060414&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines 2006 NBA MVP]). Exchange "light myself on fire" for any number of physically painful actions.
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* [[Despair Event Horizon]]: His "[http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020528 Levels of Losing]" column, in which he broke down how bad a loss feels to the team's fans afterwards.
* [[Fan Boy]]: Simmons doesn't hide his biases. The misconception that he's a journalist (he's not - he's a columnist whose job is to express his opinion, not report the news) leads many readers to be annoyed by this.
** He often lampshades how much of a homer he is for Boston sports. He's recently taken to calling himself a "[[The Simpsons (animation)|homersexual]]".
* [[Fanon Discontinuity]]: [[In-Universe|Bill thinks this]] of ''[[The Next Karate Kid]]'' and ''[[Rocky V]]''.
* [[Footnote Fever]]: There are 50 to 100 footnotes in ''each chapter'' of ''The Book of Basketball''.
** And with the launch of Grantland, even his ''internet columns'' have footnotes.
** [http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6855994/revenge Lampshade] [[Lampshade Hanging|hung]]
* [[Full-Name Basis]]: Bernard Karmell Pollard. Bill uses his fill name because it makes him sound like an assassin<ref>
* [[Game of Nerds]]: Kind of. He wrote about being introduced to new statistical analysis methods in baseball and basketball, but he doesn't fully accept the new concepts that challenge conventional wisdom. For example, he still thinks stats like RBI's and pitcher W-L record are meaningful.
** And back when she wrote her opinion, his wife the Sports Gal would call his husband and his buddies' fantasy league The League of Dorks for this and other reasons.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Pages Needing an Entry Pimp]]
[[Category:The Sports Guy]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sports Guy, The}}
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