The Tourettes Guy/Funny: Difference between revisions

 

* Eating at a friends house.

Danny: '''OH SHIT! SORRY!''' }}

* Danny loves Total

Danny: (beat) '''Don't talk shit about Total!''' }}

* Danny and phones.

Danny: I'd like to meet the motherfucker who named it Fashion Bug, and shove a broom up his ass! }}

 

Danny: '''Piss.''' }}

* The bit where Danny calls Colgate Toothpaste to complain:

(He gets put on hold, and "[[The Police|Every Breath You Take]]" - which was heavily sampled by Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You" - starts to play)<br />

Danny: [[Tempting Fate|I hope this is the Puff Daddy version of this song!]] NOT that ''[[The Police|Sting]]''... piece of SHIT!!!<br />

Danny: '''''[[Atomic F-Bomb|FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!]]''''' DAMMIT! HOLY ''SHIT!'' }}

* A conversation between Danny and one of his neighbors:

Danny: '''''I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!''''' }}

 

 

* Danny hears a loud grinding noise coming from the kitchen. After walking into the kitchen while saying the word "shit" four times, he asks his son what's up:

Danny: It sounds like [[Star Wars|Chewbacca]] taking a shit! (does a surprisingly good impression of the Chewbacca growl)<br />

Danny's son: No it doesn't.<br />

Danny: [[Hypocritical Humor|What'd I tell you about saying that?!]] }}

* While Danny is in the shower, his ex-wife Shirlena comes to visit. After she bangs on the door several times, this happens:

Danny: Shirlena?.... '''[[Oh Crap|AWWW SHIT!]]'''<br />

(Later, they have an argument)<br />

Danny: [[Belligerent Sexual Tension|BITCH!]] (beat) I love you. }}

* Two moments take place when Danny takes his son to a job interview in a bad neighborhood. The first occurs when Danny's son offers him some Twizzlers:

(A guy who was sleeping next to Danny the whole time wakes up, takes off his sunglasses, and gives him a [[Death Glare|rather unfriendly look.]] They then just sit and glare at each other.) }}

** Later, an absolutely furious janitor storms into the room wanting to fight Danny because Danny made a huge mess in the bathroom and caused the toilet to overflow:

Danny: [[Completely Missing the Point|That was a good shit!]]<br />

Janitor: *throws chair at Danny* Bullshit! }}

 

Janitor: Oh, you wanna see a dick? You wanna see a '''big black dick?!''' }}

 

Danny: FUCK HORSES! }}

 

** During the fight, Danny shouts, "You're a bitch!" and throws a newspaper page at the janitor's face. It's a hilariously poor choice of weapon, seeing as how the janitor is throwing ''chairs''.

* Danny owes money:

* Danny's surprise birthday party:

Danny: Never heard of her. }}

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20ZwrZ1Dm6c Danny cussing] out people on the phone is played over a clip from The Lion King so it sounds like the characters in the Lion King are saying what Danny's saying. "Big black woman with big tits, you can't miss her!" "I'm gonna take a piss and when I come back I'm gonna talk about the Mighty Duck movies."

* Also, apparently ''[[Noodle Incident|something]]'' happens when [[Jeopardy!|Alex Trebek]] has a picture of a giraffe [[Ass Shove|shoved in his ass]] during an earthquake.

* Danny watching ''[[ALF]]'' on DVD talking to his Grandma Jenelle on the phone. "I'm watching the first season of ''[[ALF]]'' on DVD. Alf. ALF! You're 93 years old and you don't know what ''[[ALF]]'' is?!" *hangs up phone* "Piece of crap!"

* Danny's reaction to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjTF0-H0aJg waking up to a giant M&M statue by his bed.]

* Danny carrying a hot casserole dish ''without oven mitts.'' When he gets back up after putting it down on the table, he hits his head on a chandelier. Leave room and cue [[Atomic F-Bomb]]!

* Danny's son accidentally throws a paper towel at Danny's crotch. Luckily, it wasn't hard. ... The paper towel, not his dick.

* That time there was a bird in the house.

* As his ex-wife tells him about her grandfather ended up lost and naked in a K-Mart due to Alzheimer's, Danny does his best to hold in his laughter. She finally notices him giggling:

Danny (laughing): AHAHAHA YOUR GRANDPA'S AN ASS! }}

* "When I die and go to heaven and see God, I'm gonna say, 'Shit!'"

* After working in the attic, ''without'' his Tony the Tiger shirt.

Danny: That's not Mickey Mouse, that's just '''''TIT DIRT!''''' }}

* Danny and son go shopping at a supermarket:

Danny: Calm down! Calm down! Don't get a big '''DICK!''' }}

* [[Badass Grandpa|Danny's]] [[Badass Beard|dad]] has only appeared twice, but each appearance is absolutely hilarious.

** On Thanksgiving Day, everybody was supposed to bring food... but almost everybody brought mashed potatoes. Danny's dad is not amused.

** We then see Danny's dad rummaging around in a kitchen drawer.

 

'''FUCK SALT!'''