The Tourettes Guy/Funny
Oh, Bob Saget!
- Eating at a friends house.
Friend: How is it? |
- Danny loves Total
Danny: There's some cereal right here. |
- Danny and phones.
Phone rings. |
Phone rings. Danny picks up the reciever. |
- The bit where Danny calls Colgate Toothpaste to complain:
Danny: Yes. I bought your Colgate Toothpaste. The one with tartar control. And it made me feel... like a PIECE OF SHIT! This is BULLSHIT! |
- A conversation between Danny and one of his neighbors:
Danny: My son bought home some pickles from the cannery. I was wondering if I could store them at your place. |
- In one scene Danny takes a shower with Head and Shoulders and curses at the bottle here because it burns him.
- Danny hears a loud grinding noise coming from the kitchen. After walking into the kitchen while saying the word "shit" four times, he asks his son what's up:
Danny: What's all the damn noise! |
- While Danny is in the shower, his ex-wife Shirlena comes to visit. After she bangs on the door several times, this happens:
Danny: WAIT A MINUTE YOU DICK! |
- Two moments take place when Danny takes his son to a job interview in a bad neighborhood. The first occurs when Danny's son offers him some Twizzlers:
Danny's son: Dad, you want some Twizzlers? |
- Later, an absolutely furious janitor storms into the room wanting to fight Danny because Danny made a huge mess in the bathroom and caused the toilet to overflow:
Janitor: Did you shit in the fuckin' toilet? Did you shit in the fuckin' toilet and put all the toilet paper in there? |
Danny: Dick head! |
Janitor: He got a big 'ol horses ass on 'im. |
- During the fight, Danny shouts, "You're a bitch!" and throws a newspaper page at the janitor's face. It's a hilariously poor choice of weapon, seeing as how the janitor is throwing chairs.
- Danny owes money:
Danny (while swaying around with a beer in his hand): We're gonna be out of the butt... and into the fuck... if we don't come up with that 36 dollars. *passes out on the floor* |
- Danny's surprise birthday party:
Danny (looking at his presents): Where'd you get all this shit? |
- Danny cussing out people on the phone is played over a clip from The Lion King so it sounds like the characters in the Lion King are saying what Danny's saying. "Big black woman with big tits, you can't miss her!" "I'm gonna take a piss and when I come back I'm gonna talk about the Mighty Duck movies."
- Also, apparently something happens when Alex Trebek has a picture of a giraffe shoved in his ass during an earthquake.
- Danny watching ALF on DVD talking to his Grandma Jenelle on the phone. "I'm watching the first season of ALF on DVD. Alf. ALF! You're 93 years old and you don't know what ALF is?!" *hangs up phone* "Piece of crap!"
Danny: I love my grandma Jenelle. Sweetest woman in the whole world. BUT SHE'S OLD AS FUCK! |
- Danny's reaction to waking up to a giant M&M statue by his bed.
- Danny carrying a hot casserole dish without oven mitts. When he gets back up after putting it down on the table, he hits his head on a chandelier. Leave room and cue Atomic F-Bomb!
- Danny's son accidentally throws a paper towel at Danny's crotch. Luckily, it wasn't hard. ... The paper towel, not his dick.
- That time there was a bird in the house.
What do you mean "a bird"?! |
- As his ex-wife tells him about her grandfather ended up lost and naked in a K-Mart due to Alzheimer's, Danny does his best to hold in his laughter. She finally notices him giggling:
Shirlena: DANNY! ARE YOU LAUGHING?! |
- "When I die and go to heaven and see God, I'm gonna say, 'Shit!'"
- After working in the attic, without his Tony the Tiger shirt.
Son: Dad, is that a Mickey Mouse T-shirt? |
- Danny and son go shopping at a supermarket:
Son: Dad, can we get some of this movie theater butter popcorn? |
- Danny's dad has only appeared twice, but each appearance is absolutely hilarious.
- On Thanksgiving Day, everybody was supposed to bring food... but almost everybody brought mashed potatoes. Danny's dad is not amused.
Danny's dad: WHAT IS THIS?!?! *slams pot on table* 'Shitload of Mashed Potatoes Day'?! *leans in closer and screams in Danny's face* HUH?! |
- We then see Danny's dad rummaging around in a kitchen drawer.
Danny's dad: There's gotta be something else to eat in this damn house... aw hell, he's got some corn, some green beans, some oats, some saltines... *pulls out a box of Count Chocula cereal and pauses to look at it* What the hell's THIS shit? |
FUCK SALT!