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Line 2: {{quote\|''Before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of "Torchwood"?''\|'''Jack Harkness''', "Everything Changes"}} {{quote\|''[[Free -Love Future\|You people and your quaint little categories.]]''\|'''Jack Harkness''', "Day One"}} {{quote\|'''Owen:''' If it's someone we've pissed off that narrows it down to 4 or 5 million.~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' And that's just the humans.\|[[Spoiler Title\|"They Keep Killing Suzie"]]}} {{quote\|''Why is it that only Gwen seems to have a heart? I don't know if you've noticed but the rest of us are human and amazingly we still manage to get on with our jobs.'' \|'''Owen Harper''', "Random Shoes"}} {{quote\|'''Gwen:''' Excuse me... Have you seen a blowfish driving a sportscar?~~<br />~~ '''Old lady:''' ''(points in direction of blowfish alien)'' Bloody Torchwood...\|"Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"}} {{quote\|'''Jack:''' So, how was rehab?~~<br />~~ '''John:''' Rehabs. Plural.~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' Drink, drugs, sex and...?~~<br />~~ '''John:''' Murder.~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' (cracking up) You went to ''murder'' rehab?~~<br />~~ '''John:''' I know, ridiculous. The odd kill! Who does it hurt?~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' You clean now?~~<br />~~ '''John:''' [[Sarcasm Mode\|Yeah, kicked everything. Living like a priest.]]\|"Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"}} {{quote\|''We don't sniff the sub etheric resonator!''\|'''Ianto Jones''', "Sleeper"}} {{quote\|'''Tosh:''' You said we weren't allowed to use that again. ~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' It's just a mind probe.~~<br />~~ '''Ianto:''' Remember what happened ''last'' time we used it?~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' That was different. That species has extremely high blood pressure. ~~<br />~~ '''Ianto:''' Oh right. Their heads must explode all the time. \|"Sleeper"}} {{quote\|'''Owen''' How'd you know that?~~<br />~~ '''Ianto''' I know everything! And it says so on the bottom of the screen.\|"Sleeper"}} {{quote\|'''Jack:''' All you did tonight was mess things up. Now we have to think of a way to get back in and thanks to you they'll have tightened security.~~<br />~~ '''Rhys:''' Well, if you'd stopped and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showing off about the place—~~<br />~~ '''Jack:''' Do I show off?~~<br />~~ '''Ianto:''' Just a bit.~~<br />~~ '''Rhys:''' - you'd know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy. So rather than cock things up I found you a way to get in. (getting right in Jack's face) But if you can't handle that, Big Boy, then you can stuff it.~~<br />~~ '''Jack:'''...(glances at Gwen) This is quite homoerotic.\|"Meat"}} {{quote\|''I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers.''\|'''Ianto Jones''', "Dead Man Walking"}} {{quote\|'''Banana Boat:''' So do you fancy a little drink later?~~<br />~~ '''Tosh:''' I'm sorry. I'm intolerant to vasoactive amines.~~<br />~~ '''Banana Boat:''' Huh?~~<br />~~ '''Tosh:''' Bananas make me vomit.\|"Something Borrowed"}} {{quote\|''That's what I love about Torchwood. By day you're chasing the scum of the universe. Come midnight you're the wedding fairy.''\|'''Ianto Jones''', "Something Borrowed"}} {{quote\|'''Gwen:''' On your knees!~~<br />~~ '''John:''' [sigh] Honestly, it's just sex, sex, sex, with you people.~~<br />~~ '''Gwen:''' Now!\|"Exit Wounds"}} {{quote\|'''Gwen:''' [mockingly] Oh my God, Severn Bridge. I'm going into England. Farewell forever.~~<br />~~ '''Rhys:''' [mock-concerned] Good luck. Have you got currency?~~<br />~~ '''Gwen:''' Yes, and I've had my injections.\|"Children of Earth"}} {{quote\|'''Ianto''': Don’t forget me.~~<br />~~ '''Jack''': Never could.~~<br />~~ '''Ianto''': A thousand years’ time…you won’t remember me. ~~<br />~~ '''Jack''': Yes, I will. I promise, I will. \|"Children of Earth"}} {{quote\|''Wales is insane.''\|'''Rex Matheson''' "[[Torchwood: Miracle Day ~~(TV)~~\|Miracle Day]]: The New World"}} {{quote\|'''Gwen:''' That was your last chance.~~<br />~~ '''Lyn:''' Yeah? And what're you gonna do about it? If you're the best England's got to offer, then God help you.~~<br />~~ '''Gwen''' I'm Welsh. [punches her]\|"Miracle Day: Rendition"}} {{quote\|'''Lupa''': You like ''Torchwood'' right?~~<br />~~ '''Snob''': Never heard of it. Is it pretentious?~~<br />~~ '''Lupa''': No, but it has lots of gay sex and a pterodactyl!~~<br />~~ '''Snob''': You're alright.\|'''[[~~The Cinema Snob (Web Video)\|~~The Cinema Snob]]''' and '''[[~~Obscurus Lupa (Web Video)\|~~Obscurus Lupa]]''', in their review of The Asylum's ''[[Sherlock Holmes]]''}} {{quote\|''Land lines, mobiles, tin cans with bits of string, all down. Everything down, absolutely everything. No more phones, phones all gone.'' (makes a little phone with his hand) ''Hello? Anybody there? No, because the phones aren't working!''\|'''Ianto Jones''', "Sleeper"