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{{trope}}
{{quote|''"This is the whip of love."''
|'''Shigure, before throwing Kenichi into a training machine that would look more in place in a Saw movie''', ''[[Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple]]''}}
{{quote|''"She's poisoned my breakfast and dinner, she keeps hiding behind doors and attacking me when I open them, and this morning she threw a snake at me."''
|'''Jack Cannon, on his mother''', ''[[The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon]]''}}
A variation of parenting which believes that love can best be provided via schooling them in [[School of Hard Knocks|life's hard knocks]]. This is believed to make said offspring stronger. Sometimes it works and the kid grows up to be [[Badass]] but unable to [[Not Good
If dished out to one particular child in the family, expect said child to feel like [[The Unfavourite]] compared to their other siblings. Can lead to a [["Well Done, Son" Guy]] moment if this turned out not to be the case.
This trope is frequently used as justifications for the actions of a [[Knight Templar Parent]] or sometimes the [[Sink or Swim Mentor]] if the relationship is neither familial nor quasi-parental. There can be a thin line to walk between practicing this trope and just coming off as another example of [[Abusive Parents]]. [[The Other Wiki]] has its own definition [
▲Expect much [[Angst]] resulting from this trope.
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==▼
▲{{examples|Examples:}}
* ''[[Kenichi:
▲== Anime and Manga ==
▲* [[Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple|History's Mightiest Disciple Kenichi]] gives poor Kenichi six masters, all of them incredibly brutal in their own way. All of them care a great deal about their disciple, but still put him to the point of nearly dying from his training on a daily basis. As the story continues, the teachers first take the training [[Up to Eleven]] for him to survive just the ruthless delinquents that come after him. When the Yami organization appears, however, the training goes [[Beyond the Impossible]].
* Guy's training methods in [[Naruto]]. Not to mention Itachi's behaviour towards Sasuke.
* ''[[Tenjho Tenge]]'' is the absolute master of this trope. From Mitsuomi's [[Aloof Big Brother]] status, Dogen's intention to create a [[Knight Templar Parent|"true warrior"]] using his eldest son, {{spoiler|Shin}} being locked up by his father to prevent him losing control of his powers to a [[Crowning Moment of Funny|hilarious scene]] between himself and Mana in a hospital, its fair to say that
* In the third arc of ''[[Higurashi no Naku Koro
** Well, not really... She uses this as an excuse against her friends' rightful concerns but no one believes it, not even her. {{spoiler|He is only looking for her late parents' money and plans to leave town as soon as he finds it, because the cops are after him due to his involvement in Rina's death.}} She's trying to hold off suspicion from social services and the police until he's done, but [[Abusive Parents|it's clear she]] [[Freak
* [[Social Darwinist|The Emperor]] has this as his excuse for the way he "raises" his kids in ''[[Code Geass]]''. According to him "people only become stronger through struggle" and he actively encourages his children's infighting to decide who will succeed him on the throne of Britannia.
* [[Badass Grandpa|Vice-Admiral Garp]] of ''[[One Piece]]'' is a firm advocate of the
* Let's not forget ''[[Ranma
* In ''[[Digimon Tamers]]'', Juri's father raised her this way after the death of her mother. Unfortunately, this accidentally made her into a [[Stepford Smiler]] who broke before she came home from the Digital World.
* Isshin Kurosaki of ''[[Bleach]]'' randomly kicks his son in the head, [[Dynamic Entry|from another room]]. By the beginning of the series, Ichigo can usually see it coming, which Isshin openly states is his intention.
* ''[[Inuyasha]]'': Very little is known about [[The Hero|Inuyasha]] and [[Aloof Big Brother|Sesshoumaru's]] father as he [[Disappeared Dad|died]] long before the start of the story. However, his presence [[The Ghost|permeates the entire story]] as he left a [[Secret Test of Character|legacy]] of [[Hidden Purpose Test|tests]] for his two sons that very often [[Abusive Parents|seem]]
{{quote|
* In ''[[Medaka Box]]'', this is Medaka's modus operandi. People are just problems that need solving to her, and that usually involves defeating them in some way. Usually violently. Taken to new heights in chapter 118: it doesn't get much tougher than {{spoiler|beating the crap out of a guy and mocking his weakness to motivate him further.}}
== [[Comic Books]] ==
== Comics ==▼
* In ''[[Fables]]'' one of the "gifts" Santa gives to a character is forcing him to face his traumatic past so he can move with his life.
* In ''[[V for Vendetta]]'', V uses a rather extreme version of this to help Evey become unafraid. Extreme like black-bagging her, shaving her head, imprisoning her, torturing her, and making her think she's going to be executed. Yeah.
== [[Film]] ==
* ''[[Legends of the Fall]]'' has the Ludlow brothers who at first are rivals for their father's affections and then later on over the token [[The Chick|chick]].▼
* A mild version of this is in
==
* ''[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]'' has several examples, played straight, subverted and even averted at times.▼
▲* [[Legends of the Fall]] has the Ludlow brothers who at first are rivals for their father's affections and then later on over the token [[The Chick|chick]].
* This is also possibly the only explanation for the way {{spoiler|Lord Asriel}} treats his daughter {{spoiler|Lyra}}in the ''[[His Dark Materials]]'' trilogy. He even tells his former lover and mother of his daughter that he does not love his child; describing the girl as a "spoiled brat with dirty fingernails"▼
▲* A mild version of this is in Mc Clintock when [[John Wayne]] gives his daughter and her husband a small ranch as a wedding present in the hope that they will be comfortable without forgetting how to be [[Determined Homesteaders]] .
▲* [[A Song of Ice and Fire]] has several examples, played straight, subverted and even averted at times.
▲* This is also possibly the only explanation for the way {{spoiler|Lord Asriel}} treats his daughter {{spoiler|Lyra}}in the [[His Dark Materials]] trilogy. He even tells his former lover and mother of his daughter that he does not love his child; describing the girl as a "spoiled brat with dirty fingernails"
** However it is later revealed that he does indeed care for his daughter, he expresses admiration in ''The Amber Spyglass'' for her exploits in Svalbard and for successfully tricking the former bear-king into a duel for the throne. In one of the standalone supplementary guides to the whole trilogy it is mentioned that the [[Word of God|author's notes]] have him keeping a framed portrait of {{spoiler|Lyra}} in his home. All this is masked by showing outward contempt for the poor girl when she finally comes looking for him. {{spoiler|[[Moral Event Horizon|And by killing her best friend!]]}}
* [[Private|Noelle Lange]]'s grandmother employed this in ''
* Michael's father in the ''[[Knight and Rogue Series]]'' is a firm believer of this. To give his son the steady, comfortable job of a steward, he's willing to crush Michael's dreams and even strip him of legal rights so he'll have no option but 'the best'.
== [[Live
* Was the title of a Season 5 episode of ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''.
** Attempted by [[Angel]]'s father. [[Self
* Arguably, also the case for [[The Woobie|Dean's]] upbringing by his father in ''[[Supernatural (TV series)|Supernatural]]''.
* A memorable example occurred in a season 6 episode of ''[[Friends]]'' with [[Bruce Willis]]'s character demonstrating [[Manly Tears]] whilst reminiscing with [[The Ditz|Rachel]] over his relationship with his father. Too bad this led to an excessive display of tears leading Rachel to dump him.
* Flashbacks in ''[[Psych]]'' explain that this was how [[Trickster Archetype|Shawn]] was raised by his dad after his mom left the family. His dad a law officer raised Shawn to have perfect eidetic memory, allowing him to recall objects and events to minute detail but this had the side effect of leaving Shawn [[Loners Are Freaks|socially awkward]]. However its not played for audience sympathy, Shawn is most definitely NOT [[The Woobie]]; being a [[Jerk
** Actually, Shawn's mom didn't leave until he was a senior in high school. Presumably she agree with Henry that training Shawn to be a detective was a good idea or at least didn't want to argue the point.
* ''[[Titus
* The original [[British Series|British version]] of ''[[What Not to Wear]]'' had
*
* Bart Bass' parenting style of choice on ''[[Gossip Girl]]''.
* ''[[Scrubs
* ''[[Malcolm in
* In ''[[Skins]]'' Season 5 both [[Life of the Party|Alo]] and [[Jerk
* On an episode of ''[[House (TV series)|House]]'' Cuddy realizes that her mother pushed her to succeed because she saw potential in her more than her sister.
* Lorelai Gilmore of ''[[Gilmore Girls]]'' says that using tough love is the best way to get Rory to go back to Yale.
== [[Music]] ==
* [[Johnny Cash]]'s "A Boy Named Sue
==
▲* [[A Boy Named Sue]] anyone? The song is all about the trope, with the titular Sue being landed with the name to ensure that he grows up to be [[Badass]] after a childhood of bullying over his name. The song ends with "Sue" confronting his dad, learning his intentions, and deciding to avert this trope if he ever has a son.
▲== Theatre ==
* Arguably [[Hamlet]] is using Tough Love to persuade Ophelia to leave him. "I am only cruel to be kind" indeed.
▲== [[Web Comics]] ==
* Klaus Wulfenbach in ''[[Girl Genius]]'' orders his son around much like minions and (unlike minions) constantly gives him hard and sometimes [[Secret Test|sneaky]] tests. Then the Baron is wounded and vultures circle around him, his reaction on seeing Gil defeating a mechanized army [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|single-handedly]]? Unholy glee.
{{quote|
'''Dr. Sun''': I hope it was ''worth'' it.
'''Klaus''': Anything--being paralyzed for ''life''--would be an acceptable price for seeing what I have seen my son do today. Oh, ''yes''. }}
* This may be the case for how Quaintana views how she raises her children in ''[[
** A milder example comes from Chrystel's attempts to mould Faen into a stronger person. [[Subverted Trope|It worked about as well as you'd expect]].
* Eric Sakai from ''[[Soul Symphony]]'', a sophomore in high school, was forced to start leaning to play violin by his grandparents when he was seven, was doing solo recitals at concert halls by twelve, and forced to start learning MORE string instruments by thirteen. He didn't want to, but it made him a [[Child Prodigy|prodigy.]]
* Raven in ''[[El Goonish Shive]]''. His version of liking people goes "[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2008-07-02 to the ''bloody grindstone'']". Seeing him and his mother [http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-12-18 in one room] makes it somewhat more understandable.
== [[Western Animation]] ==▼
*
▲== Western Animation ==
▲* This was [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|Fire Lord Ozai's]] excuse for burning half of his son's face off in a duel:
▲{{quote| '''Ozai''': " It was to teach you respect!" }}
▲** No wonder [[The Unfavourite|Zuko]] then [[Lampshades]] this argument in his counter:
▲{{quote| '''Zuko''': "It was cruel! '''And it was wrong'''."}}
▲*** Leading to an epic scene where Zuko [[Calling the Old Man Out|finally calls his father out]] using lightning and [[The Reason You Suck Speech|a verbal putdown]].
* In the [[Surprisingly Improved Sequel|above average]] ''[[The Lion King]]'' sequel '''Simba's Pride'''; [["Well Done, Son" Guy|Nuka]] is this to his mother [[Evil Matriarch|Zira]] thinking that she favours Kovu as '''Scar's''' "Chosen One". This leads to an intense rivalry with Kovu {{spoiler|eventually leading to Nuka's death when he tries to gain Zira's affection by killing Simba, only for him to be crushed by the falling logs that were meant to kill Simba.}} This is followed by Zira's first {{spoiler|and last}} act of affection for Nuka {{spoiler|when she frantically tries to save him and holds him as he dies.}}▼
▲** Actually speaking Ozai doesn't really love his children, given the opportunity he was ready to use Zuko as a [[Sacrificial Lamb]] to take the throne and would have gone ahead if it weren't for Ursa.
* An episode of ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' had a variation of the trope; here unruly students at Mc-Kinley High were sent to a [[Boot Camp Episode|reformation centre]] in the hope of turning them into model citizens. Unfortunately the methods being used also involved {{spoiler|brainwashing and mild torture}}. Naturally a riot breaks out.▼
▲* In the [[Surprisingly Improved Sequel|above average]] [[The Lion King]] sequel '''Simba's Pride'''; [[Well Done Son Guy|Nuka]] is this to his mother [[Evil Matriarch|Zira]] thinking that she favours Kovu as '''Scar's''' "Chosen One". This leads to an intense rivalry with Kovu {{spoiler|eventually leading to Nuka's death when he tries to gain Zira's affection by killing Simba, only for him to be crushed by the falling logs that were meant to kill Simba.}} This is followed by Zira's first {{spoiler|and last}} act of affection for Nuka {{spoiler|when she frantically tries to save him and holds him as he dies.}}
▲* An episode of [[Batman Beyond]] had a variation of the trope; here unruly students at Mc-Kinley High were sent to a [[Boot Camp Episode|reformation centre]] in the hope of turning them into model citizens. Unfortunately the methods being used also involved {{spoiler|brainwashing and mild torture}}. Naturally a riot breaks out.
== [[Real Life]] ==
* Parental interventions can be seen as this, usually these occur as a last ditch attempt to put troublemakers on the right track. Examples include drug addicts, compulsive gamblers, shoplifters, truants etc. This is the premise of the [[Intervention|TV documentary of the same name]].
* Several real life boot camps also employ tough love to make their objectives heard. See [[Reality Show|CelebrityFitClub]] and
* One might consider this as [[The Mean Brit|Simon Cowell]]'s raison d'etre.
* [http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/26/interventionists-tough-tactics-addiction This ''Guardian'' article] describes the positive and negative affects of this trope.
* This is probably the kindest way to describe [[Education Mama|Amy Chua's]] approach to raising her daughters.
* Arguably the concept behind Montessori educational schools.
* The difference between disciplining via tough love and simply being a [[Abusive Parents]] is well demonstrated [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPJjedJBZcg&feature=related here].
* Charles Bufe, an anarchist writer, once described tough love as "Abuse of a type particularly gratifying to the abuser, in that it combines the pleasures of sadism with those of self-righteousness."
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[[Category:Parental Issues]]
[[Category:The Parent Trope]]
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