True Capitalist: Difference between revisions

[[File:CapitolGhost_4186.jpg|frame|[[Catch Phrase|"I am your host, the man they call Ghost."]]<ref>[[Stupid Statement Dance Mix|"I'm a fat fruity bastard, and I'm a nice guy!"]]</ref>]]

 

 

Meet John Conquest, AKA [[Only Known by Their Nickname|Ghost,]] [[Authority in Name Only|King of the Mexicans,]] a racist, tiger shrimp-eating, [[Camp Gay|flamboyant,]] [[Fat Bastard|morbidly obese,]] [[shapeshifting]] [[Canada, Eh?|Canadian]] [[Informed Judaism|Jewish]] [[The Reptilians|lizard]] who [[Domestic Abuse|abuses his family,]] proclaims his love of ''[[My Little Pony]]'', and takes advantage of the welfare system all the while [[Ho Yay|having a torrid affair with Herman Cain]] and pining after [[Sarah Palin]].

Though, when he's ''not'' raging, Ghost ''is'' a relatively good pundit (if you, er, share his views); he knows where the money is, and he knows how his listeners can get in the action themselves (unless they're doing it with welfare checks, of course)

 

 

There has been much speculation regarding whether Ghost is genuine in his antics, or if he's a [[Troll]]. Following the show's (alleged) cancellation on May 23, 2012, it was revealed in a final chat session that {{spoiler|both sides are sort of right. His rages were exaggerated and he is, in fact, friends with the troll Amy Daly, but he was also a Texan capitalist and a genuinely angry man when he started the show- three hours a day of ranting about politics and being trolled helped him get it all out of his system. However, knowing his nature, it is likely all of this is suspect and that this may be a hiatus.}}

* [[Breather Episode]]: The December 24th show can be considered this.

* [[Brick Joke]]: Throughout October, trolls called in wishing Ghost a merry Christmas, causing him to rage that it wasn't even Halloween yet. And then, months later, in the Christmas show...

* [[Butt Monkey]]: Ghost is the butt monkey of his own show!

* [[Camp Gay]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZjcSA9luic Caller 111]/The Internet Buttstalker, who calls in a ridiculously effeminate voice while making ''very'' suggestive requests.

* [[Canada, Eh?|Canadia, Eh?]]: Ghost seems to have a thing against Canada for some reason...

** According to Ghost he hates Canada because [[Too Soon|they booed the national anthem a few days after 9/11]].

* [[Catch Phrase]]: There are just ''way'' too many things he says on a regular basis:

"[[Blatant Lies|I'M A NICE GUYYY]]!"<br />

"You know it and I know it."<br />

"''x'' ON THE NEXT FREAKIN' [[Geraldo Rivera|GERALDO]]!" }}

** Reactions

"...you're [[Mistaken for Masturbating|playin' with your peter-popper.]]" (or pecker-shaft)<br />

"...Aww, he hung up!"<br />

"My heart's beatin' like a rabbit!" }}

** Rage mode

"THAT'S IT! STICK A FORK IN ME, I'M DONE!"|"GET ME OUTTA HERE, ENGINEER!"}}

** And the Trolls

661 has "[[Product Placement|Surgeradio.org]]"<br />

"Yeah, DDoS that, alright."<br />

** On May 4th 2012, Tub Guy can be heard breaking when telling Ghost he convinced Hasbro to make a Pony based on Ghost.

* [[Crack Pairing]] ([[In-Universe]]): There's a chatroom user called "Asho Banged Tub-Guy."

** He thinks [[Touhou]] is an "ani-mee" foot fetish.

* [[Curse Cut Short]]: Sound effect variant. Sometimes when Ghost gets really angry, his swears are cut short by him throwing cans everywhere.

** "The idiots from the top are idiots."

** The 'Melting Pot of Racist' splice.

** [[Hope Spot]]: Ghost came back for two Taco Tuesdays in the middle of March, leading listeners to believe he was genuinely back- but it would be toward the end of April that he would actually resume regular shows.

** And then those regular shows would be abruptly cut off by the ''actual'' cancellation of the show on May 24th, making ''them'' into a [[Hope Spot]] as well.

*** [[The Chick]] — The Aborted Fetus

*** [[The Sixth Ranger]] — Celtic Brony

*** [[The Hero]] — Ghetto Capitalist

*** [[The Lancer]] — Tub Guy

*** [[The Dragon]] — Gasgara

*** [[The Evil Genius]] — [[Obfuscating Stupidity|The Engineer]]

*** [[The Dark Chick]] — Debi Daly

** Modern lineup:

*** [[Sixth Ranger Traitor]] — Celtic Brony (briefly), Equestrian Citizen

* [[Forced Meme]]: Ghost tried to advocate the use of the term "hambone" to insult what he considers to be overweight people who contribute nothing to society. The trolls gladly helped it become a popular meme... by splicing clips of Ghost calling ''himself'' a hambone.

* [[Game Mod]]: ''True Capitalist [[Doom]]: Bronies on Earth''. Replacing various weapons and powerups with various happenings on the show, such as a "Can crusher" shotgun, a pearl launcher as the rocket launcher, a hadoken for the [[BFG]] or invulnerability being "Chatroom Martial Law". Although the enemy sprites weren't changed, they did receive some voices and names such as the Fruitbowl (Imp) or FU Texas Beast ([[Cyber Demon]], which of course, plays "Fuck You Texas" when it comes out).

** Ghost himself claimed he actually liked the DOOM mod.

* [[Godzilla Threshold]]: After [[Despair Event Horizon|Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary,]] Ghost was so disgusted with the crop of Republican candidates that he considered supporting Ron Paul.

** He has also considered moving to "Canadia" since, in his words, they're getting more capitalist than America

** He knew the whole situation with Asho in November was all a setup.

* [[I Lied]]: Ghost claimed that his final show would be on March 9th. As it turned out, there was no show on that date, and it was merely an attempt to troll the trolls.

** "Ghost baby what's goin' on?!"

* [[I Need a Freaking Drink]]: "Cause drinking is what I like to do~!"

** Well, there's gotta be an explanation for all those cans! However, he considers himself to be a connoisseur and ''not'' an alcoholic. He has also often used the allure of cheap drinks on 6th Street as an excuse for potentially ending the show when he's angry.

* [[Internet Tough Guy]]: "YOU'RE LUCKY WE'RE NOT IN A GODDAMN BARROOM BECAUSE I'D BEAT THE LIVING BAJEZUS OUT'A YOU!"

** He makes fun of ethnic minorities like there is no tomorrow. He's not a racist, though!.

* [[Insult Backfire]]: Any insult Ghost tries to use on the trolls will either be ignored, accepted with glee, used against him, or turned into ''yet another'' remix.

* [[Jerkass]]: Ghost himself.

** He went off on a rant about members of [[Slipknot]] crying about their bassist's death thus:

* [[Kayfabe]]: No one knows how real some of the more... eccentric... figures on True Capitalist are, but few bother to try and find out, since [[Pass the Popcorn|it's a hell of a lot of fun anyway.]]

* [[Kick the Dog]]: A literal case: Ghost tells one his listeners that he'll respect him if he kicks his dog on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymfbMcBcVF4&feature=related 27th September 2011].

** There was an instance where a caller callled in multiple times simply repeating "Penispenispenispenispenispenis..."

** The [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5EsLvSzqGo "Accident-Prone Kids for Ghost."]

* [[Manipulative Editing]]: Its frighteningly easy to make him rage. Just take one of the following sentences (or for bonus points find something he said in the previous episode), and change ''x'' (or a key word in another sentence) to the word of your choice.

** "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who ''x''/who happen to be ''x''"

* [[Mistaken Identity]]: "Is this Nikolai?!"

** [[Thoroughly Mistaken Identity]]: Someone [[Bullying a Dragon|prank-called]] [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?|the FBI]] with splices of Ghost's voice, and as a result he sounds completely, hilariously insane:

'''Ghost:''' You cock-eyed Russian. }}

* [[Mondegreen]]: In the November 1 Radio Graffiti segment, a caller, impersonating Twilight Sparkle from [[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]] says "suck my flank" to imitate the "Suck my dick" guy. Ghost mishears it and says "Are you kidding me?! Suck my BLANK?!"

** Ghost has misinterpreted the word "[[Touhou]]" as "[[Blind Idiot Translation|toe hoe]]" on several occasions, causing him to rant that the fandom is made up of "[[Foot Focus|sick foot fetish freaks]]".

* [[Motor Mouth]]: Ghost.

** Some of the callers are this, because they have to fit whatever they're trying to enrage Ghost with into a few seconds so he doesn't hang up on him.

* [[National Stereotypes]]: In his "Guess the Minority" game, Ghost tries to identify the race of the caller by asking questions relating to these (i.e. "What is your favorite food?")

* [[No Except Yes]]: It's not cans, it's "crap on his desk".

** "craponmydesk.wav"?

** February 28th, 2012: (in response to a caller playing a remix of "Bloody Tears") "Get out of here with your dumbass Mexican music... no, wait a minute, that's ''[[Castlevania]]''. Throw the Holy Water, I love that sound!" Ghost later went on to declare the second game in the series his favorite.

** He also likes Nirvana (specifically, the song "Rape Me") and is a big enough Marilyn Manson fan to know the b-side track "The Hands of Small Children" (and use it in his Woodchipper segment) and "We're From America."

* [[Opening Narration]]: Near the top of the hour, but always to the effect of "This is the (Second/Third and Final) hour of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, I am your host, the man they call Ghost."

'''Engineer:''' BAP BAP BAP AWWWWWWWW }}

* [[Overused Running Gag]]: Twitter users continuously made-up names referencing the Texas fire, India and Turkey quakes, and Steve Jobs' death for a time.

* [[Papa Wolf]]: Don't insult his family, especially his grandmother.

** Or KaraszKun.

* [[Pet the Dog]]: On January 6th, 2012, Ghost defends Equestrian Citizen from racial slurs.

** A frequent Skype caller with the username "[[Tara Strong]]" often plays spliced quotes from everypony's favorite show, but has also played [[Drawn Together|Princess Clara]] lines, taking advantage of the fact that she shares the same voice actor as Twilight Sparkle. Ghost caught on to the part that mattered, and immediately dismissed them as being Pony-related.

** Averted when someone was playing [[Castlevania|Bloody Tears]] and Ghost thought it was Mexican music, until he heard a little more and realized it was from Castlevania.

** The twitter shoutouts even more so:

'''Engineer:''' ...guh gaah haaaa? }}

* [[Repurposed Pop Song]]: The ''[[Sanford and Son]]'' theme for the Junkyard America song, and the theme from ''[[The Price Is Right]]'' for Guess the Minority.

** "Guess the Minority", a segment where Ghost tries to guess the ethnicity of a caller by asking them questions related to stereotypes, or guessing based off their voice alone. He [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mPUJTjmgD4 freakin' loves this game, man!]

** Spontaneously breaking into song (Junkyard America!)

*** Twitter names combining Ghost's name with that of communist or fascist dictators (i.e. Ghostler, Benito Ghostini, Ghostef Stalin, Fidel Ghostro, etc.)

** Ghost playing clips from "representatives" from various foreign locales (including "Mr. Fortune Cookie" from Communist China, Machmud, a "representative of the Libyan rebel faction", and "The Guru", a stereotypical Indian)

** There was a recurring joke throughout the January 20th show that Ghost was every member of the Today Show.

* [[Satan Is Good]]:

* [[Say My Name]]: "DAMN YOU NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVYYYYYY HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE...!"

* [[Schedule Slip]]: Often after an episode with a ''major'' trolling, it'll just go off the air for a period (as little as a day, or as much as a week) and then come back. Although sometimes the show does sometimes doesn't occur for other reasons.

* [[Some of My Best Friends Are X]]: "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who happen to be black"

** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbP9rm-abOk&feature=related Some of his best friends are] [[Hypocritical Humour|Wops and Camel Jockeys]].

** In September 2011, the usual trolls started targeting Goofy_Bone's show too. Despite trying to defend himself, he ended up caving in and doing his own version of Radio Graffiti. This continued over a slight hiatus Ghost had, but when he was alerted to this, he, predictably, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgrmf3JlsM4 called Goofy out and went off about it], as usual. He dubbed it a "poor man's Mexican version" and a "[[You Keep Using That Word|bean and cheese]]" version of his own show.

** Then in response, Goofy re-named it [[Take That|Bean and Cheese Graffiti]]

* [[Toilet Humor]]: What kind of a name is PoopTickler?!

** "I happen to have a whole bunch of friends who [[Blatant Lies|group poop]]."

** And then there was a single call consisted only of the sound of someone peeing into a toilet.

** And then another with the same sound of peeing, but with a Ghost laugh added into it.

* [[Trademark Favorite Food]]: "Johnnie Walkerrrrr, Blue Labeeeeeel!"

** Shrimp, too, judging by his reaction whenever someone brings the "cannibal shrimp" up.

* [[Troperiffic]]

* [[Troubling Unchildlike Behavior]]: Regular caller Asho smoked weed and looks at pornography, knowing that his mom is elsewhere hitting on strangers.

** In a way, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH7lXcUvgwY Melting Pot of Alcohol] is one.

** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxurtdJD2eg Angry Racist Jewish Hambone]. Just listen to the lyrics!

He gives those cans a mighty smack! ''*cans.wav*'' }}

** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLv9o4mdjdQ National Socialist Hambone Racist]

* [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?]]: "I'm implementing CHATROOM MARTIAL LAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEAH HA HAAAAAAA~"

* [[Why We're Bummed Communism Fell|Why We're Bummed Capitalism Fell]]: For a community who spent a year deliberately driving him insane, people were pretty upset when Ghost announced he was quitting the show, and rejoiced upon his return.

* [[Worthy Opponent]]: Tzeki.

** Ghost's speech while giving Ghetto Capitalist the Troll of the Year Award had hints of this.

* [[You Do NOT Want to Know]]: Gasgara's relationship with Suspicious Tumbleweed. As the [[The Wiki Rule|True Capitalist Radio Wiki]] put it:

* [[Your Approval Fills Me with Shame]]: Trisha, Tub Guy, and Ghetto Capitalist (natch) all approve strongly of Ghost's capitalistic views... but since they're (respectively) a transgender woman, a flamboyant omnisexual, and a welfare abuser, Ghost is absolutely enraged at this hijacking of his philosophy.

* [[Your Mom]]: Sometimes used as a retort.

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Radio]]