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== Advertising ==
* One commercial has a pair of teenage boys calling their mother and complaining they are hungry. The mother says to go make themselves Tostino's (a frozen pizza snack), with the boys complaining that they don't have any.
** '''You'd Expect''': The boys to actually look around the freezer first before discovering whether or not they have the said snack.
** '''Instead''': Their eyes are glued to their right while the snack is just a few inches away on their left. The mother seems to know the boys are too lazy to actually look so she says "Front, left, Tostino's!" God forbid anything happens to these kids should their mother be gone for an extended period of time.
 
== FanficFan Works ==
* In ''[[Soulless shell|Soulless Shell]]'', Arnold has been sentenced to death for rape by Leif, who is the [[God Mode Sue|incredibly powerful]] [[Authority Equals Asskicking|leader]] of the vermin of Redwall, but manages to escape and convince his guards to join him.
** '''You'd Expect''': Him to flee the country, given that no creature alive can even hope to challenge Leif. Failing that, you'd expect him to come up with a plan to take Leif by surprise and use his guards to gain an advantage in numbers.
** '''Instead''': Arnold decides that vengeance against Leif can wait until after he's raped a young girl. Since [[Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil]] Leif finds him, [[One-Winged Angel|turns into a demon]], and [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|kills him]]. His guards aren't even present, and soon afterward try to attack Leif in revenge, only to get killed fairly easily.
* A few times in ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20130611200915/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3303241/1/A_Very_Special_Arthur A Very Special Arthur]''.
** In the beginning, after Arthur hits his head on the bottom of the pool, they get out to call 911.
*** '''You'd Expect''': That his friends would take him out of the pool, since he's still submerged in water and unconscious after hitting his head.
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** '''You’d Expect''': The other Scanrangers to sit back and watch. Or, to just get out of there.
** '''Instead''': [[Sixth Ranger|Takeshi]], for some reason, runs out and asks to help Peter. Momentarily distracted telling Takeshi to leave, Peter is left vulnerable to a fatal blow by Blackorg.
* ''[[Astral Journey: It's Complicated]]'' has quite a few.
 
** Melanie was able to sneak pass the guards to escape after being sectioned, i.e. committed to the psych ward, due to her eating disorder.
== [[Myth and Legend]] ==
*** '''You’d Expect''': A guard being at one of the doors, or better yet... had the door locked to begin with. Not to mention, see through Melanie's disguise.
* Pecos Bill. On their wedding day, his bride Sluefoot Sue tried to ride his horse Widow Maker. Widow Maker throws her off, and her bustle starts bouncing her higher and higher; she can't stop herself because her wedding dress was made to be removed by her husband, and she's not carrying her knife to her wedding.
*** '''Instead''': None of the guards question Melanie when she's disguised herself as a janitor to escape.
** '''You'd Expect''': Pecos, being a sharpshooter supreme and a true master of the lasso, would either shoot out the bustle to stop her bouncing or throw a rope around his beloved and brake her down. This is, after all, a man who can shoot a star from the sky or rope and ride a cyclone. Or, hell, just shoot the horse!
** Later, Melanie tries to escape again via, chute for linens.
** '''Instead''': Pecos shoots her so she won't have to suffer a horrible death from thirst. Yep.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Someone to check the chutes to make sure no one tries using them to escape, let alone a flight-risk patient. As for Melanie, she should've used something to cushion her fall.
** '''Additionally''': It should be noted that the Disney version spares Sue that ignominious fate, instead having her bounce to the moon. You'd think ''Disney'' would've given him a happier ending.
*** '''Instead''': Melanie goes for it and pays for it.
** '''Also''': Depending on the version of the tale, Bill does try roping her...and misses. For example, in the Disney version Pecos tries to lasso her but his horse Widowmaker steps on the rope and keeps from succeeding.
* ''[[In The Dark]]'' had some.
* Every "I fear my son will upstage me" scenario in [[Greek Mythology]]. A god/king learns from an oracle "your son with this woman will one day kill you".
** Melanie is found by Otis Darwin, let alone badly injured.
** '''You'd Expect''': That God/king to avoid the woman like the plague and find someone else, or eventually raise the child with the kind of love and affection that would diffuse thoughts of patricide.
*** '''You'd Except''': Darwin to do the right thing and report her to the police. After all, she's one of the [[Spice Girls]], of course someone will know who she is.
** '''Instead''': That God/king will attempt to kill or disown their son, an act which will only justify their kid committing patricide, not dissuade it.
*** '''Instead''': He subjects Melanie to [[Cold Blooded Torture]], which almost gets her killed.
* And how 'bout probably the most famous one in mythology? Paris has been chosen as a judge to determine whether Hera, Athena, or Aphrodite is most beautiful. All three try to bribe him — Hera offers [[World Domination]], Athena offers genius smarts and martial skill, and Aphrodite offers the love of the most beautiful woman in the world.
** Melanie tries to escape the first time around, only to be spotted by the paparazzi.
** '''You'd Expect''': Paris to choose Hera and gain a royal harem as part and parcel of [[World Domination]], or to choose Athena and use his smarts to gain [[World Domination]] and aforementioned harem. Just about every person who has read the myth has thought this at some point.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Even in her mental stage, Melanie would've realizes who the press was and stopped.
** '''Instead''': Paris chooses Aphrodite and gains the hand of an already-married queen, with most of the armies of Greece bound to rescue her, as well as the enmity of two of the most powerful goddesses in the pantheon. Cue Trojan War.
*** '''You'd Also Expect''': The rest of the paparazzi to respect the orders Vern gives out. The guy is likely someone one would see at a biker's bar.
** '''What's Worse:''' Out of the three goddesses in that scene, only one of them did ''not'' have a reputation for Disproportionate Retribution against people who offended her. Hint: It's the only one Paris didn't offend with his choice. (Really, any rational person would have picked Hera regardless of the prizes offered -- Athena's vengeance is usually survivable, but unless you're Hercules -- literally -- Hera's going to frickin' kill you.)
*** '''Instead''': Melanie almost gets ran-over and is caught by the press. When only a few listened, the rest of the [[Spice Girls]] and [[Backstreet Boys]] had to help Melanie, including her parents.
* And then there's Jason, former leader of the Argonauts, he who retrieved the golden fleece, and a hero actually under the divine patronage of Hera. He returns from the journey victorious, since he had the love and assistance of the powerful and mildly [[Cute and Psycho]] princess Medea, who has gone so far as to murder her own brother as a distraction so Jason and his crew could escape her father's wrath.
** When Melanie suffers a nervous breakdown, Emma is usually the one who helps her out.
** '''You'd Expect''': Jason would return to his father's kingdom and settle down in peace with his lover.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Letting Emma stay with Melanie during the hospital, at least she's has somewhat became a coach as Melanie didn't want to see her get upset.
** '''Instead''': Jason decides to marry a princess named Glauce so he could have wealth and fame and the like, even though Medea has already had two children by him (and is, as mentioned above [[Cute and Psycho]] to the extreme) ''and the man's patron goddess is HERA'', also known as the goddess of marriage and the most vengeful out of the Olympians. So Medea kills Jason's new bride, the bride's father, and their two children in revenge before taking off. Jason dies alone and forgotten many years later, when the Argo's ancient, rotting prow breaks right over his head.
*** '''Instead''': Emma gets pushed out of the way. This finally gets to Emma, who lets down [["The Reason You Suck" Speech]] of her own to Victoria.
*** It gets worse. Jason had taken a vow to be faithful to Medea, and the traditional divine punishment for breaking oaths, according to Herodotus? Killing off the oathbreaker's entire family, which makes Jason's anger at Medea for doing just that very a much a what an idiot moment.
* ''[https://www.wattpad.com/story/173566505-final-stand-of-death Final Stand of Death]'' : Five fallen victims on [[Celebrity Deathmatch|''Celebrity DeathMatch'']] returned and took over a set of mechas to handle Manson for one more brawl.
* As told in [[Odyssey|The Odyssey]], we have Odysseus and his men who have come across the island of Polyphemus the Cyclops. Odysseus outwits his [[I'm a Humanitarian|ravenous foe]] by getting him drunk and then [[Eye Scream|jabbing him in his eye]]. In a blind rage, the Cyclops accidentally lets them free and they escape. To make it work, Odysseus introduced himself to Polyphemus as "nobody."
** Mark makes chainsaw noise in front of Spur, a mecha-host for one of the Manson's fallen victims.
** '''You'd Expect''': Odysseus to just get to his ship, set sail and never look back.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Mark remembers or know ahead of time not to trigger any trauma from Spur's former life, at the very least... do some research beforehand.
** '''Instead''': Odysseus takes time to gloat at his foe and gives him '''his real name.''' Unfortunately for him, Polyphemus is the son of Poseidon, the very sea god who's already pissed at Odysseus's lack of humility. Poseidon then ensures that the trip home is a living nightmare.
*** '''Instead''': Mark continues with the taunts, which angers Spur.
 
== [[New Media]] ==
* Numerous commenters on [https://web.archive.org/web/20121015050620/http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/facebook_wants_to_be_your_one_true_login.php this article], as evidenced by the bit in bold. Basically, if you type the words "Facebook login" into Google, that article's the first result. Hundreds of idiots arrived at that page via Google, and despite the page looking NOTHING like Facebook, proceeded to whine that they were unable to login in the comments. (It's also worth noting that for a time, the article came up first but is clearly marked as a NEWS article.)
* Type "w" in Google. See that part where it says "www.facebook.com"? Yeah, more people have actually Googled "www.facebook.com" than [[Wikipedia]]. ''You know, instead of just putting it in the address bar.'' [[It Gets Worse]] as you type in another "w" — people actually Googled "www.google.com". ''On Google.''
 
== [[Professional Wrestling]] ==
* Michelle McCool's heel-turn angle with Maria on ''[[WWE|Smackdown]]'' in 2008/2009.
** '''You'd Expect''': After McCool losing two matches and taking it out on Maria both times, Maria would show some caution around McCool, and so would Eve after Maria gets the snot kicked out of her when McCool finally loses the title.
** '''Instead''': Apparently girlfriends do this all the time in wrestling land? That's what she told them, and that was enough to gain their forgiveness. And they totally didn't see the asskicking they would get coming.
* The last [[TNA]] show before 10.10.10. has Dixie Carter, finally fed up with Abyss' actions after he basically tried to "abduct" her, orders Eric Bischoff to fire him. Bischoff then brings her the legal documents to make said firing official.
** '''You'd Expect''': Dixie to read the contract carefully before signing.
** '''Instead''': She immediately signs it without even looking at it, letting her anger with Abyss' actions earlier <ref>(he had kidnapped her earlier and brought her out to the ring, then implied to have threatened to hurt her)</ref> overcome her common sense. The contract she signed really was to turn over the majority of shares to Hulk Hogan, thus screwing herself out of the company.
** '''You'd Expect''': Her to then fight the contract somehow, having been defrauded with a clear trail of what happened. (On national TV no less.)
** ''' Instead''': She just disappears.
* [[WWE|Kaval]] lasts five minutes in a grueling match against [[The Big Show]] to earn a spot on Team Smackdown at the 2010 ''Bragging Rights''. Then Tyler Reks comes out to challenge him for his spot. Teddy Long comes out to stop him.
** '''You'd Expect''': Kaval, obviously in no condition to compete after his match, to request it be postponed in order to give time for his body to heal.
** '''Instead''': He, being [[The Determinator]] that he is, [[Honor Before Reason|throws out all logic]] and accepts Reks' challenge. Only for him to be beaten quickly, thus losing his spot.
* Wade Barrett has two of these moments in a triple-threat cage match, both in ''the same match'':
** Wade's on top of the cage with both [[Randy Orton]] and Sheamus on the floor.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Barrett to exit the cage, knowing that his place (let alone leadership) in [[The Nexus]] is on the line.
*** '''Instead''': He goes for an elbow drop on Sheamus, which he counters with his knees. But that's nothing <ref>(especially since wrestlers give up certain victory to injure their opponents in cage matches ''all the time'')</ref> compared to...
** Wade's climbing up the cage with both of his opponents down. [[CM Punk]] runs out and climbs the cage, seemingly to help him.
** '''You'd Expect''': Barrett to either drop down and walk out the door, or at least knock Punk away, knowing that he's been the one who has been trying to usurp control of Nexus from him.
** '''Instead''': He takes Punk's hand, which he uses as an opportunity to strip him of his Nexus armband before knocking him back down the cage.
* Following the successful completion of his [[Xanatos Roulette]] against [[The Undertaker]], [[Wrestler/Kane|Kane]] has the World Heavyweight Championship and his brother is buried alive for the fifth time. His next challenger, is one-time rival [[Edge]]. Who, in a move full of [[Moral Dissonance]] in and of itself, promptly decides to kidnap his father to try to get in his head, and after one title shot failed, to get another one.
** '''You'd Expect''': Kane to immediately go straight to General Manager Teddy Long and threaten to walk out with the belt if Teddy doesn't force Edge to give [[Paul Bearer]] back, especially since kidnapping non-wrestlers isn't something Long is supposed to condone anyway. If Teddy refused to give Paul back, he could ''easily'' make good on his threat until Teddy finally caves or gets kicked out for someone else with some sense who will do the right thing. In other words, what [[CM Punk]] did in 2011, except more specific to a brand (Smackdown), less "Voice of the Voiceless", and more "GIVE ME BACK MY DAD!".
** '''Instead''': Kane keeps scrambling around and running after wherever Edge showed his face last like a blubbering idiot, and is driven to the point of pleading humanity in desperation. He ends up with Teddy right in front of him at least twice, yet can only ask "Where's Paul!?" or "Where's Edge!?".
** '''The result''': Daddy Paul gets [[Put on a Bus]] again, Kane gets trapped in a four-way TLC match at the end of the year and loses the World Heavyweight Title to Edge, promptly becoming a midcard human-like face ''[[Face Heel Revolving Door|AGAIN]]'' shortly thereafter.
* On the 12/5/11 airing of ''Monday Night Raw'', Randy Orton is in a match with the Miz. They're both out of the ring and Randy slams Miz. Wade Barrett comes out and watches the match and both the Miz and Randy are close to being counted out. Randy pushes the Miz into the ring.
** '''You'd Expect''': Randy to ignore Wade and continue the match.
** '''Instead''': Randy chases Wade and gets counted out as a result.
* On Aug. 4, 2014 episode of RAW, Seth Rollins was given a change of an opponent, Heath Slater rather than Rob Van Dam, in order to increase his chances of choosing a match if he could beat Slater in under 15 minutes. The move was done by the Authority, but Dean Ambrose shows up to bother Rollins.
** '''You'd Expect''': The Authority to remove Ambrose from the area, or Rollins to ignore him in order to beat Slater.
** '''Instead''': {{Spoiler| The distraction was too much for Rollins, leading to Slater to beat Rollins allowing Ambrose to choose a lumberjack match for Summer Slam.}}
* On Aug. 11, 2014 episode of RAW, [[Stephanie McMahon]] claims that Megan Miller, a physical therapist, [[Kayfabe| was having an affair]] with Daniel Bryan, Brie’s husband. Brie shows up to confront Miller.
** '''You'd Expect''': Brie was come to her senses and wonder if this was nothing more than a trap.
** '''Instead''': Brie slaps Miller and attacks Stephanie. {{Spoiler| Brie was later “arrested” for assaulting Miller.}}
** '''To be fair''': Brie had to know something was up, resulting in her attacking Stephanie.
* On the Labor Day episode of 2014, Brie knocks out Nikki, which happened to be in front of Paige… knocking her out too. As Brie leaves, AJ Lee sees the Diva Champion title on the ground and decides to touch it, with [[Stephanie McMahon| a certain someone]] also in the ring. The problem, AJ wasn’t the Champion at the time, which was Paige.
** '''You’d Expect''': AJ to just get out of the ring with the title in hand, that wasn’t hers, and slip out of the arena before anyone as sees her.
** '''Instead''': {{spoiler| She skips out the ring!}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5pvfaEAEq0 Take a guess on who catches her].
* On Nov. 20, 2014 episode, during the Battle Royal for the United State Championship, [[The Miz]] got eliminated by [[Goldust]] and [[Cody Rhodes| Stardust]], leaving his "stunt double" Damien Mizdow in the ring.
** '''You’d Expect''': Damien just to continue on with the match.
** '''Instead''': {{spoiler| He eliminates himself.}} This caught [[Goldust]] and [[Cody Rhodes| Stardust]] off-guard, {{spoiler| leading to Jack Swagger}} to sneak up behind them.
* During Wrestlemania 31, [[Triple H]] is taken out by [[Action Girl| Ronda Rousey]], leaving [[Stephanie McMahon]] stunned. <br /> '''You’d Expect''': Stephanie to leave it be afterward, since Triple H deserve it. <br /> '''Instead''': McMahon confronts Rousey, only to discover that messing with an Olympic judoka who’s been in the UFC was a bad idea. It would result in a arm lock, which McMahon quickly found out the hard way.
 
== [[Tabletop RPG]] ==
* ''[[Warhammer 4000040,000]]'': In Angron's backstory, he was an escaped gladiator who was trapped with his army of fellow escaped gladiators with a huge army coming at him. The battle barge of the Emperor is in orbit, and the Emperor could probably destroy the army and rescue Angron's comrades in no time.
** '''You'd Expect''': The emperor destroys the enemy army. Orbital fire, [[Super Soldier|Space Marines]], [[One-Man Army|doing it personally]]. You've got a lot of options when you have spaceships, troops, guns and enough [[Psychic Powers]] to make [[Physical God|the gods themselves]] run screaming.
** '''Instead''': He rescues Angron and retreats with his ship, thus killing most of the gladiators and giving Angron a grudge that would later cause him to join the traitor legions.
Line 105 ⟶ 63:
** '''You'd Expect''': She'd put two and two together. This centaur has bad intentions towards her. This centaur hates her husband. He's not actually going to give her something helpful. He was shot with poisoned arrows. Love potion = deadly poison.
** '''Instead''': At a moment when Herakles has fallen in love with another woman, she tries to save her marriage by using the love potion on him. It kills him brutally.
* [[Cyrano De Bergerac]], an [[Impoverished Patrician]] [[Starving Artist]], unknown yet talented playwright, is offered the Patronage of [[Magnificent Bastard|Cardenal Richelieu]], ([[Man Behind the Man|The most powerful man in all France]] and [[Renaissance Man|known playwright]]), who will only [[Executive Meddling|''edit one or two verses'']] of [[New Meat|Cyrano’s unproduced play]], ''"Agrippine"''.
** '''You’d Expect:''' A serious, talented [[Starving Artist]] who [[New Meat|has never been represented in scene]] [[Paying Their Dues|will recognize this as a golden opportunity and be tolerant]] of a]] [[Man Behind the Man|powerful]] Mecenas [[Screw the Rules, I Have Money|with a lot of money]] who [[Renaissance Man|who really has experience with playwriting]] and [[Executive Meddling|and whom really]] could [[Tropes Are Not Bad|could improve]] ''"Agrippine"'']].
** '''Instead:''' [[Small Name, Big Ego|Cyrano arrogantly]] invokes [[Protection From Editors]] and [[Ungrateful Bastard|nastily rejects the patronage]]. To put things in perspective, rejecting CardenalCardinal Richelieu’s patronage in [[The Cavalier Years]] Paris it’sis like someone in [[Marvel Universe]] rejecting [[Doctor Doom]]’s patronage, or someone in [[DC Universe]] rejecting [[Lex Luthor]]’s patronage ''when he was [[President Evil]] of the United States''.
* The titular monarch in the song "There Lived a King" from ''[[The Gondoliers]]'', who was grieved that not everyone was as well-off as he.
** '''You'd Expect''': He call together the best minds on economics and try to work out a policy that prospered as much of the population as possible, and revisit it from time to time.
** '''Instead''': He promotes each person in the kingdom to the top of the hierarchy of their chosen métier.
{{quote|"That king, although no one denies/His heart was of abnormal size/Yet he'd have acted otherwise/If he'd have been acuter."}}
 
== OtherToys ==
* In ''[[Bionicle]]'', Takanuva, Gali, and Pohatu are fighting giant bugs. Business as usual for them really, but Takanuva is worried that his regular [[Holy Hand Grenade|light powers]] won't be powerful enough. He does have a bunch of new toys, though!
** '''You'd Expect''': That he'd just use his new power-amplifying weapon if he was that worried. Or if he didn't want to drain his light powers, he has a blaster that could do it for him.
** '''Instead''': He uses his new shadow power ''without the amplifier'', winning the fight but freaking his friends out and making them think he might be one of the evil shadow-slinging [[Shape Shifter|shapeshifters]] flying around.
* Stan Kroenke, owner of the Denver Nuggets and their home arena, the Pepsi Center, is faced with the genuine possibility that his team might make the NBA playoffs. Problem is, he'd already scheduled a ''[[WWE]] Monday Night Raw'' broadcast during playoff week when, should the team actually make the playoffs, there's a 50/50 chance they'd be playing a home game.
** '''You'd Think''': That Kroenke would alert WWE to the possible conflict months in advance, and allow them the possibility that they may need to find another venue for that date.
** '''Instead''': He waits until the Nuggets make the playoffs ''and'' the playoff schedule was officially announced (which deemed the Monday night game a home game), thus giving WWE all of six days to move their event somewhere else. And offered them a much, ''much'' smaller venue to run their broadcast from. And did all this to Vince McMahon, widely acknowledged as the world's richest carny. The whole thing spun into a vicious firestorm of negative publicity for Kroenke, the Nuggets, and the NBA, which Vince was only too happy to stoke, making the rounds of various sports shows to talk about how little confidence Kroenke had in his team. The Nuggets' playoff rivals, the Los Angeles Lakers, got in on the Nugget-bashing by giving WWE ''their'' arena, the Staples Center, to do the broadcast. All in all, the whole fiasco meant tons of lost revenue for Denver and a whole lot of egg on Kroenke's face.
* The titular monarch in the song "There Lived a King" from ''The Gondoliers'', who was grieved that not everyone was as well-off as he.
** '''You'd Expect''': He call together the best minds on economics and try to work out a policy that prospered as much of the population as possible, and revisit it from time to time.
** '''Instead''': He promotes each person in the kingdom to the top of the hierarchy of their chosen métier.
{{quote|"That king, although no one denies/His heart was of abnormal size/Yet he'd have acted otherwise/If he'd have been acuter."}}
* One commercial has a pair of teenage boys calling their mother and complaining they are hungry. The mother says to go make themselves Tostino's (a frozen pizza snack), with the boys complaining that they don't have any.
** '''You'd Expect''': The boys to actually look around the freezer first before discovering whether or not they have the said snack.
** '''Instead''': Their eyes are glued to their right while the snack is just a few inches away on their left. The mother seems to know the boys are too lazy to actually look so she says "Front, left, Tostino's!" God forbid anything happens to these kids should their mother be gone for an extended period of time.
 
== [[Real Life]] ==
* [[Adolf Hitler]] was not exactly the sharpest knife in the military drawer.
** December 7, 1941: Japan bombs Pearl Harbor. Meanwhile, [[Adolf Hitler]]'s rather busy trying to crush rebellious Great Britain, whose Royal Air Force has been giving his Luftwaffe what-for for the better part of two years.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Hitler to quietly rejoice that the second-largest, most powerful military force in the world is otherwise occupied, particularly since he has the world's ''greatest'' military force also giving him what-for on the Eastern Front.
*** '''Instead''': He promptly declares war on the United States. This turns out to be a mistake.
** WWII: Hitler decides to invade Russia.
*** '''You'd Expect''': Hitler to analyze the geography and climate of his enemy, and realise that invading Russia successfully is only slightly more difficult than flying to Mars sans space shuttle. (Hint: Russia is enormous, and it is cold. This makes it almost impossible to successfully invade, and therefore makes Hitler's decision only slightly less moronic than the aforementioned declaration of war on the USA.)
*** '''Instead''': He invades Russia. The battle is an almost total rout, as the entire population of Germany is likely not a sizable enough force to successfully invade Russia, especially considering his supply lines were almost totally cut off. All this ends with most of Hitler's army dead of starvation, freezing, or both.
*** '''And As If That Wasn't Bad Enough:''' He invades Russia in ''August''. Yes, right at the beginning of the cold weather season. He invades the one place on the planet absolutely infamous for defeating invaders with winter, right at the beginning of fall. (Admittedly, the original plan was to invade during spring and was delayed only because of Germany's need to go assist Italy in the Greek campaign, but ''still''.)
*** '''But The Hole Still Has No Bottom:''' When you consider that the first part of Russia he conquered was the Ukraine, which has never liked being part of Russia in the first place and was openly welcoming the Nazis in and eagerly offering to join in and help Hitler conquer the rest of Russia. With 20+ million Ukrainians, already used to Russian conditions, plus the rich logistical potential of the Ukraine breadbasket, accepting their aid would have given Hitler a fair shot at being the first man to successfully conquer Russia, considering how close he came in reality. So what does Hitler do? ''Start murdering and oppressing the Ukrainians wholesale''. He actually brutalized them to the point where the Ukrainians cheerfully accepted '''Stalin''' as an alternative. Now that must have taken some doing.
* On February 26, 1993, Mohammed Salameh used a Ryder truck to try to blow up the World Trade Center.
** '''You'd Expect''': That he'd be more concerned about hiding from arrest than about getting a few bucks back.
** '''Instead''': He makes a phone call to the company that rented him the truck, claiming that it was "stolen".
* The one and only thing Paris Hilton has to do in order to claim her vast inheritance is behave like a decent, civilized human being.
** '''You’d Expect''': She'd behave like a decent, civilized human being.
** '''Instead''': She parties constantly, drinks and drugs to excess, makes a sex tape that leaks onto the internet, winds up in prison for ''several'' probation violations, and just generally embarrasses her family. Grandpa (Barron Hilton) pledges her cut of the Hilton fortune to charity.
* [[Global Radio]], the British equivalent of [[Clear Channel]], decide to rebrand some stations in the East Midlands to "Capital".
** '''You'd Expect''': Listeners would accept the name, and think nothing has changed but the name ([[Values Dissonance|as they have done in North America]]).
** '''Instead''': They remove ''all'' local shows from RAM FM and Leicester Sound, ''relaying'' 96 Trent FM instead, and drop the local 1-4:00 PM (London time GMT) afternoon show off 96 Trent FM. The station becomes local only at breakfast (6-10:00 Am), drivetime (4-7:00 PM) and Saturday/Sunday morning (9:00 AM to 1:00 PM, previously 8:00 AM to Noon). Cue [[Be Careful What You Wish For|protests from listeners on social networking sites]] and complaints of [[They Changed It, Now It Sucks]]. Whether they did or not, [[Your Mileage May Vary|opinions]] ''will'' differ on this.
* Prodrive, a British racing team, got an [[Formula One|F1]] entry for 2008 which was based on using a customer chassis by McLaren-Mercedes. In [[Formula One]], customer chassis were an area of dubious loopholes and it was very likely that mid-field teams would file protest against such a tactic.
** '''You'd Expect''': David Richards and Prodrive preparing a contingency plan in case a team files protest and costumer chassis get disallowed.
** '''Instead''': They let themselves get caught on the wrong foot and forfeit their entry for 2008.
* In the 2011 NCAA Tournament, Ohio State played Kentucky. The Wildcats have just hit a shot to go up by two points with about five seconds left, and the Buckeyes have timeouts left.
** '''You'd Expect''': Thad Matta to call a timeout to help set up a final shot.
** '''Instead''': The Buckeyes try and get the ball up the court quickly, resulting in a bad shot and an early exit from the tournament.
* [[World War II]], the invasion of Normandy: [[Adolf Hitler]]'s armies defending France are equipped with many deadly, high-powered Panzer tanks that will prove to be a nightmare for the Allies when they try to liberate France.
** '''You'd Expect''': That ''Der Fuhrer'' would authorize his generals to unleash the Panzers whenever it was tactically necessary, and use their resources as efficiently as they can.
** '''Instead''': Hitler orders that the Panzers can only be used with his personal authorization. He's also completely terrified his subordinates, and lets them know that he [[Berserk Button|hates being woken up in the middle of the night]]. Unfortunately, when the invasion of Normandy begins, Hitler is asleep and his stooges are too terrified of his wrath to go in and wake him up so he can give the order to use the Panzers. The end result is a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] for the Allies, and the beginning of the end for [[Nazi Germany]].
* It's 1187, and Saladin, having marched 30 000 men into Palestine, has to, somehow, beat the 20 000 men that the Crusaders could call up. The Fatimid king can only beat the crusaders on the field instead of sieges - and Saladin prepares to exploit this, baiting a trap for Guy of Lusignan, king of Jerusalem by besieging a fortress which belongs to another high commander of the Crusaders, Raynald of Châtillon. Saladin leaves his main army behind to further improve his chances of making the bait work.
** '''You'd Expect''': As Raynald pointed out - stay where they are, in a safe place near an oasis. However, he was called a coward...
** '''Instead''': Which led to chivalry's notion of bravery rearing its ugly head. Guy marches his army through the desert - getting harrased by Muslim light cavalry along the way. Saladin forced the crusaders onto a plateau - thirsty, demoralized and with a situation so bad five Christian knights defecting to the Muslim side, the Crusaders attempted to get to the springs of Hattin - resulting in a battle in which the Crusaders get destroyed and Guy and Raynald captured. As Saladin wrote later on, "[[Satan]] incited Guy to do what ran counter to his purpose." indeed.
* A science teacher at a local high school wanted to get out of work several times, so she creates a fake jury duty notice to show to her superiors.
** '''You'd Expect''': That the teacher would double check the fake notice to make sure it looked legit.
** '''Instead''': The woman wound up making several spelling errors (sighted instead of cited, trails instead of trials, etc.) on the documents, which got her bosses to catch on and fire her, plus forcing her to pay back the money she took from the Department of Education during her "time off" from work.
* A young second grade teacher decides she wants to take a break. She calls in a sick day.
** '''You'd Expect:''' She and her husband would take in a movie or maybe a ball game. At the very least, you'd expect her to do something low-key.
** '''Instead:''' She dons a bikini, goes on shock jock [[Howard Stern]]'s radio show, and wins a "hot wife" contest. Pictures of her are put on Stern's website. She then comes home to find that her school FOUND OUT about the Stern show, and that they have fired her because she violated a school district morality code by both going on the show and taking a sick day under false pretenses.
** '''So:''' She sues the school district, despite the fact that the morality clause was in the contract that she signed when she took the job. She loses the prize money she won from the Stern show to lawyer fees, and she still has no job with the school district post-lawsuit.
 
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