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[[File:Croctopus_1320.jpg|frame|It is a sunny day in the ruins of Terminus City, and Croctopus is building a boat.]]
{{quote|''It is a timeless struggle, a battle that has been fought countless times: the elemental conflict of crocodile with octopus legs and power tools versus giant sturgeon stuck onto a tank with a sword and a jet engine for a voice.''
|''Zoofights'', in a nutshell.}}
''[[Zoofights]]'' is an interactive story series hosted on the [[Something Awful]] forums, led primarily by the user Major Failure. Each "arc" of ''Zoofights'' (there have been six as of this writing{{when}}) is about large and deadly animals facing one another in a blood sport that is both futuristic and old-timey (''Zoofights 3'', for example, took place in the late 1800s despite the extremely advanced technology present. They just wanted to have all the bystanders [[Rule of Cool|wearing monocles and top hats]]).▼
▲{{quote|''It is a timeless struggle, a battle that has been fought countless times: the elemental conflict of crocodile with octopus legs and power tools versus giant sturgeon stuck onto a tank with a sword and a jet engine for a voice.''|''Zoofights'', in a nutshell.}}
While it includes the odd scripted event, the outcome of ''Zoofights'' is not up to Major Failure or any of the people who actually write it. Rather, before each match, the readers are encouraged to vote for their winner, and their votes carry more weight if they come with fan art or detailed explanations of their choice (Simply saying "I vote for Steamcrab" results in your vote just being ignored. You need a reason).▼
▲Zoofights is an interactive story series hosted on the [[Something Awful]] forums, led primarily by the user Major Failure. Each "arc" of Zoofights (there have been six as of this writing) is about large and deadly animals facing one another in a blood sport that is both futuristic and old-timey (Zoofights 3, for example, took place in the late 1800s despite the extremely advanced technology present. They just wanted to have all the bystanders [[Rule of Cool|wearing monocles and top hats]]).
As of ''Zoofights 4'', a random element was added. Previously the winner was simply whoever had received more votes. In ''Zoofights 4'' the numbers are plugged into a random number generator to get a result (as in, if monster 1 got 20 votes and monster 2 got 80, if the random number generator selected a 20 or lower monster 1 would pull off an upset).▼
▲While it includes the odd scripted event, the outcome of Zoofights is not up to Major Failure or any of the people who actually write it. Rather, before each match, the readers are encouraged to vote for their winner, and their votes carry more weight if they come with fan art or detailed explanations of their choice (Simply saying "I vote for Steamcrab" results in your vote just being ignored. You need a reason).
▲As of Zoofights 4, a random element was added. Previously the winner was simply whoever had received more votes. In Zoofights 4 the numbers are plugged into a random number generator to get a result (as in, if monster 1 got 20 votes and monster 2 got 80, if the random number generator selected a 20 or lower monster 1 would pull off an upset).
Staples of the series include mutant animals, animals with parts of other animals attached, heavily mechanized animals, and one entrant growing so powerful that the remaining normal ones must join forces to defeat it.
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The series has proved to be a winning formula, spawning lots of fan art (mostly drawings, but everything from plush toys to clay sculptures have been made) and a devoted community of fans further adding to the experience by role-playing as spectators.
Due to the fact that it is a ''Something Awful'' forum attraction, the first two ''Zoofights'' cannot be viewed by the average Internet denizen due to being too old, therefore requiring a Something Awful Archives account (which costs money). The [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2820029 third] is available for public viewing regardless of whether you have a Something Awful forum account, as is [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3299182 the fifth one]; however, [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3128966 the fourth] requires the Archives account upgrade. Fortunately, all of the Zoofights story arcs [[The Unfavorite|save the second]] are currently hosted on [http://www.zoofights.co.uk the Zoofights website]{{Dead link}}, and the (now over) Zoofights 6 can be seen [http://forums.zoofights.co.uk/viewforum.php?f=3 here]{{Dead link}}, since it's thread of Something Awful cannot be seen by non-members currently.
The [[The Eighties|Eighties-themed]] 6th series began on May 1st, 2011, [[Schedule Slip|and ended]] [[Troubled Production|six-and-a-half months later]]. ▼
▲The [[The Eighties|Eighties-themed]]
In 2012, the [http://zoofights.squarespace.com/ Zoofights blog] changed its format from an annual tournament to a series of "[[What If]]" fights.▼
▲In 2012, the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130811024504/http://zoofights.squarespace.com/ Zoofights blog] changed its format from an annual tournament to a series of "[[What If]]" fights.
{{tropelist}}
* {{spoiler|[[Actually a Doombot]]:}} ''Zoofights 6'' --
* [[A God Am I]]: {{spoiler|Elohim}}
* [[After the End]]: The setting for ''Zoofights 5''.
* [[Altar the Speed]] / [[Wedding Deadline]]: Not the tropes themselves, but Major Failure is "directing" ''Zoofights V'' at the same time as his ''wedding''.
{{quote|
* [[Alternate Universe]]: {{spoiler|Gamma Constrictor has made himself a part of the fabric of time (or something), which has caused many roleplay characters to either become snake-themed, the [[Mirror Universe]] version of themselves (EG the evil [[Star Trek|Capt. Kirk]] and the kindly [[Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann|Spiral Entity]]), or as one put it "I've become every [[Space Marine]] ever!".}}
* [[Always Male]]: Each and every fighter is referred to as "he" (or sometimes "it"). The trope persists even when Zoofights 4 introduced Tunguska, an alien queen, and in ''Zoofights 5'', which brought in Blood 4 Oil, a giant mosquito. Only female mosquitoes suck blood. Blood 4 Oil sucks blood. [[Critical Research Failure|Still called a "he"]]. Update: It took until Round 2, but Major Failure did realize, yes, Blood 4 Oil/[[There Will Be Blood|DRAAAAAAINAGE]]/[[Punny Name|Brutish Petroleum]] ''is'' female.
** '''Aversions:'''
*** Bonus-fighter Widow Maker, a [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]] (seriously, it's listed as her chief strength) female praying mantis.
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* [[Horny Vikings]]: {{spoiler|Odinkaru}}
* [[Impaled with Extreme Prejudice]]: Oh, The Huge Manatee vs. the Tapogres, {{spoiler|Gravatee vs. From Hell}}
* [[In Medias Res]] [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|Bitches]]: For [http://zoofights.squarespace.com/storage/zoofights6/ll-fight-2/1%20larger.jpg HWAAD vs. Cold Warlrus]{{Dead link}}.
* [[Joke Character]]: Wolfbike, A Cat With One Leg, Bikebike, A Jar of Frog Piss
** In an interview about Zoofights 5, Major Failure gives a few hints of upcoming fighters. One of the creations he names is {{spoiler|a psychic onion}}, which promptly started much joking and hypothesizing among the readers. However, {{spoiler|once actually revealed, The European Onion proved to be no joke at all}}.
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* [[Precision F-Strike]]: {{spoiler|A MOTHERFUCKING MARTIAN. OH SHIT SON.}}
* [[Product Placement]]: If all goes well Zoofights IV will have [[Care Bears]] vs. [[My Little Pony]] in round 2 and Coke vs. Pepsi in the Losers League. What can I say, it's [[The Eighties]].
* [[Promoted Fanboy]]: You like Zoofights? You can draw? Well then come aboard - Major Failure's always looking for a helping hand. One good example is the user Empty Sandwich. He works with clay, and made models of some of the fighters in Zoofights 3 and 4. Come Zoofights 5 he now contributes directly to the fights, with his modeling work appearing in Croctopus vs. Pride and Prejudice, Sting Kong vs. Barbarrimundi, Great Leap Forward vs. The Snapture, and {{spoiler|Captain Croctopus vs. Sturgeongrad}}
* [[Punny Name]]: Oh the Huge Manatee is probably the [[So Bad It's Good|worst/best]] Punny Name in Zoofights.
** Snake Preview of Zoofights 5 is also pretty punny. Zoofights just relishes silly names.
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* [[Reveal Shot]]: Zoofights 6 - {{spoiler|In the final, Vighneshvara and Armour Dio are shown in a close-up shot pummeling each other. Then the next picture pulls back the view to reveal that [[Magnificent Bastard|they are unknowingly being surrounded by]] [[Actually a Doombot|six lobster-controlled mechs.]]}}
* [[Rock Beats Laser]]: Zoofights 5 - {{spoiler|Great Leap Forward vs. The Snapture}}
* [[Role
* [[Rule of Cool]]: The entire series, really. There's a train with a bison attached to it, for crying out loud.
* [[Running Gag]]: '''GEZORA DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHISPERING.'''
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* [[Taking You with Me]]: {{spoiler|Elohim's final "screw you" to Seanet, Dred Zeppelin, Ned Killy, Jupiter, and everyone on board the ship the final battle is taking place on.}}
* [[The Last Dance]]: {{spoiler|Hydrafficus}}
* [[The Messiah]]: In a way, {{spoiler|Croctopus}} in Zoofights V.
* [[The Power of Rock]]: This is how {{spoiler|Rammoninite}} manages to defeat his opponent under seemingly impossible odds.
* [[The Unfavorite]]: The Mess.
{{quote|
* [[Third Person Person]]: Gezora.
* [[Together in Death]]: {{spoiler|Ballz' spirit (via Armor Dio) to the Two Badass Pangolins, 'cause "FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS LOSE THE SPIRIT OF WHOLESOME 1980s ADVENTURE AND BECOME GRIZZLED BADASSES"}}.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Fantasy Web Originals]]
[[Category:Zoofights]]▼
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Web Original]]
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