8-Bit Theater/Characters: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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** The time anything resembling character development stuck was early in the comic when Red Mage learned [[Munchkin|that it was better to use one of his heal spells and live than be more versatile and dead]]. [[It Got Worse|Then he started his trademark illogical plans.]]
** The time anything resembling character development stuck was early in the comic when Red Mage learned [[Munchkin|that it was better to use one of his heal spells and live than be more versatile and dead]]. [[It Got Worse|Then he started his trademark illogical plans.]]
** Black Mage has a number of epiphanies about the nature of evil and the nature of morality... unfortunately [[Ignored Epiphany|he ignores them]] either because his [[Sanity Meter]] is turned to "psycho" or [[For the Evulz|evil is too much fun]]. The two could be interrelated.
** Black Mage has a number of epiphanies about the nature of evil and the nature of morality... unfortunately [[Ignored Epiphany|he ignores them]] either because his [[Sanity Meter]] is turned to "psycho" or [[For the Evulz|evil is too much fun]]. The two could be interrelated.
* [[Teeth Clenched Teamwork]]: And that's on the very rare occasions when they do work together at all. Most of the time they are closer to [[Divided We Fall]].
* [[Teeth-Clenched Teamwork]]: And that's on the very rare occasions when they do work together at all. Most of the time they are closer to [[Divided We Fall]].
* [[Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist|Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonists]]
* [[Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist|Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonists]]
* [[Villain Protagonist|Villain Protagonists]]
* [[Villain Protagonist|Villain Protagonists]]
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** After {{spoiler|coming back from Hell and killing Lich}}, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/03/20/episode-397-portents/ he couldn't bring himself to disillusion Fighter] who believed he came back from Heaven. This being Black Mage, to say it's a sign of compassion would be saying too much, but still...
** After {{spoiler|coming back from Hell and killing Lich}}, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/03/20/episode-397-portents/ he couldn't bring himself to disillusion Fighter] who believed he came back from Heaven. This being Black Mage, to say it's a sign of compassion would be saying too much, but still...
* [[The Pig Pen]]: Acknowledged by everyone but the man himself. [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/29/episode-288-on-the-way-out/ He insists that the smell is from his spell components].
* [[The Pig Pen]]: Acknowledged by everyone but the man himself. [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/05/29/episode-288-on-the-way-out/ He insists that the smell is from his spell components].
* [[Ping Pong Naivete]]: He can be the smartest of the Light Warriors, barely smarter than Fighter ([http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/11/episode-481-black-belt-walks-into-a-bar/ if not dumber than Fighter]) or somewhere in between, depending on what makes for a better joke at the moment. In particular, his intelligence seems to rapidly decrease the closer White Mage is to him.
* [[Ping-Pong Naivete]]: He can be the smartest of the Light Warriors, barely smarter than Fighter ([http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/11/11/episode-481-black-belt-walks-into-a-bar/ if not dumber than Fighter]) or somewhere in between, depending on what makes for a better joke at the moment. In particular, his intelligence seems to rapidly decrease the closer White Mage is to him.
* [[The Plan]]: A [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]] one he set up at the Citadel of Ordeals, {{spoiler|where he knew he would have to "face his flaws"; as per the typical physical manifestation of fantasy metaphors, he would therefore have to kill off his evil side. Considering that there was no way in hell he was going to get rid of all of his evil, he managed to rig the situation so that after killing his evil side, he would re-inherent all the evil}}. It's a real pity that he has never attributed so much forethought to plans that could in anyway benefit the world.
* [[The Plan]]: A [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]] one he set up at the Citadel of Ordeals, {{spoiler|where he knew he would have to "face his flaws"; as per the typical physical manifestation of fantasy metaphors, he would therefore have to kill off his evil side. Considering that there was no way in hell he was going to get rid of all of his evil, he managed to rig the situation so that after killing his evil side, he would re-inherent all the evil}}. It's a real pity that he has never attributed so much forethought to plans that could in anyway benefit the world.
* [[Played for Laughs]]: His numerous atrocities. Only the fact that they aren't played seriously saves him from being a [[Complete Monster]].
* [[Played for Laughs]]: His numerous atrocities. Only the fact that they aren't played seriously saves him from being a [[Complete Monster]].
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* [[Sanity Slippage]]: goes up and down the insane slope like a yo-yo. The way it works is this: if he's (relatively) sane, he will be [[Genre Savvy]], smarter than Thief, and generally the level of violence will be restricted to a comparative minimum (or at the very least will be efficient); if he's gone down the insane slope, his IQ will reduce massively, he will lose all ability to reason, and carnage will ensue. Lots of carnage. [[Captain Obvious|With blood]].
* [[Sanity Slippage]]: goes up and down the insane slope like a yo-yo. The way it works is this: if he's (relatively) sane, he will be [[Genre Savvy]], smarter than Thief, and generally the level of violence will be restricted to a comparative minimum (or at the very least will be efficient); if he's gone down the insane slope, his IQ will reduce massively, he will lose all ability to reason, and carnage will ensue. Lots of carnage. [[Captain Obvious|With blood]].
* [[Sarcasm Failure]]: A lot of Black Mage's sarcasm is all but lost (much to [[Angrish|to his frustration]]) 100% of the time on Fighter (who either cannot understand it or is [[Obfuscating Stupidity]] to infuriate Black Mage), and 75% of the time on Red Mage (who has a habit of [[Completely Missing the Point]]).
* [[Sarcasm Failure]]: A lot of Black Mage's sarcasm is all but lost (much to [[Angrish|to his frustration]]) 100% of the time on Fighter (who either cannot understand it or is [[Obfuscating Stupidity]] to infuriate Black Mage), and 75% of the time on Red Mage (who has a habit of [[Completely Missing the Point]]).
* [[Self Made Orphan]]
* [[Self-Made Orphan]]
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: Does this all the time, particularly when talking to city guards trying to find him.
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: Does this all the time, particularly when talking to city guards trying to find him.
* [[Starfish Language]]: A purported spell for reading a book for hours at a time.
* [[Starfish Language]]: A purported spell for reading a book for hours at a time.
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* [[Idiot Hero]]
* [[Idiot Hero]]
* [[Ignorance Is Bliss]]
* [[Ignorance Is Bliss]]
* [[Improbable Weapon User]]: [[Mix and Match Weapon|Sword]]-[[Instant Chucks|Chucks]], yo!
* [[Improbable Weapon User]]: [[Mix-and-Match Weapon|Sword]]-[[Instant Chucks|Chucks]], yo!
* [[Incorruptible Pure Pureness]]
* [[Incorruptible Pure Pureness]]
* [[Jumped At the Call]]
* [[Jumped At the Call]]
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* [[An Adventurer Is You|The Jack]]
* [[An Adventurer Is You|The Jack]]
* [[Last of His Kind]]
* [[Last of His Kind]]
* [[Min Maxing]]: His obsession.
* [[Min-Maxing]]: His obsession.
* [[Munchkin]]
* [[Munchkin]]
* [[Nice Hat]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/01/episode-037-survivor-8-bit-style-part-2/ Apparently his hat is so nice it boosts his stats.]
* [[Nice Hat]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/06/01/episode-037-survivor-8-bit-style-part-2/ Apparently his hat is so nice it boosts his stats.]
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* [[Our Elves Are Better]]: So he keeps saying anyway
* [[Our Elves Are Better]]: So he keeps saying anyway
* [[Read the Fine Print]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/10/08/episode-201-does-he-work-for-best-buyin-memory-of-jesse-james-schosek-and-nathan-larkins-we-will-miss-you/ His Super Ultra Fine Print].
* [[Read the Fine Print]]: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/10/08/episode-201-does-he-work-for-best-buyin-memory-of-jesse-james-schosek-and-nathan-larkins-we-will-miss-you/ His Super Ultra Fine Print].
* [[Shouldn't You Stop Stealing]]: The [[Trope Namer]].
* [[Shouldn't You Stop Stealing?]]: The [[Trope Namer]].
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: Via a [[Freudian Slip]] "Do you have ''any'' idea why every impoverished clump of hovels you people call towns are so impoverished, clumped, filthy, and hoveled?... Neither do they! So let's move before they catch on to me... Er...''It.'' Because it's certainly not me." [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] by Black Mage: "Saying that only makes me suspect you more."
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: Via a [[Freudian Slip]] "Do you have ''any'' idea why every impoverished clump of hovels you people call towns are so impoverished, clumped, filthy, and hoveled?... Neither do they! So let's move before they catch on to me... Er...''It.'' Because it's certainly not me." [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] by Black Mage: "Saying that only makes me suspect you more."
* [[Villain Protagonist]]
* [[Villain Protagonist]]
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* [[The Big Guy]]
* [[The Big Guy]]
* [[The Faceless]]
* [[The Faceless]]
* [[High Class Glass]]
* [[High-Class Glass]]
* [[Our Dwarves Are All the Same]]: Averted. When he isn't berserking, he's not much of a stereotypical dwarf at all.
* [[Our Dwarves Are All the Same]]: Averted. When he isn't berserking, he's not much of a stereotypical dwarf at all.
* [[Quintessential British Gentleman]]: Apart from being a dwarf and periodically going psychotic, he fits.
* [[Quintessential British Gentleman]]: Apart from being a dwarf and periodically going psychotic, he fits.
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* [[Ax Crazy]]
* [[Ax Crazy]]
* [[Hero Killer]]: {{spoiler|Kills Black Belt.}}
* [[Hero-Killer]]: {{spoiler|Kills Black Belt.}}
* [[Hot Amazon]]: Black Mage apparently thinks so.
* [[Hot Amazon]]: Black Mage apparently thinks so.
{{quote| '''Black Mage:''' Lady, if you weren't trying to kill me, and half made out of snake, I'd be on you like blood on my knife.}}
{{quote| '''Black Mage:''' Lady, if you weren't trying to kill me, and half made out of snake, I'd be on you like blood on my knife.}}
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'''King Steve''': ''"Yes, yes. I designed it that way, you know."'' }}
'''King Steve''': ''"Yes, yes. I designed it that way, you know."'' }}


* [[Zero Percent Approval Rating]]: To the point where half of his subjects, when given a choice, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/10/23/episode-345-political-nuances/ preferred to get a sword through their heads than to be ruled by King Steve forever.]
* [[Zero-Percent Approval Rating]]: To the point where half of his subjects, when given a choice, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/10/23/episode-345-political-nuances/ preferred to get a sword through their heads than to be ruled by King Steve forever.]
* [[Brick Joke]]: See [[The Cloud Cuckoolander Was Right]] below.
* [[Brick Joke]]: See [[The Cloud Cuckoolander Was Right]] below.
* [[The Caligula]]: He starts wars with other countries and murders his own subjects on a whim. Plus, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/12/23/king-steve-theater-new-shoes/ he likes to wear shoes made from baby skin. Fresh daily. That cry.] His [[The Ditz|severe mental retardation]] does not help matters.
* [[The Caligula]]: He starts wars with other countries and murders his own subjects on a whim. Plus, [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/12/23/king-steve-theater-new-shoes/ he likes to wear shoes made from baby skin. Fresh daily. That cry.] His [[The Ditz|severe mental retardation]] does not help matters.
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* [[Hot Chick With a Sword]]: Well, Fighter certainly thought so when he saw her borrowing his sword [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/06/03/episode-156-cutting-to-the-heart-of-the-matter/ and slaughtering a giant with it].
* [[Hot Chick With a Sword]]: Well, Fighter certainly thought so when he saw her borrowing his sword [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/06/03/episode-156-cutting-to-the-heart-of-the-matter/ and slaughtering a giant with it].
* [[Only Sane Man|Only Sane Woman]]
* [[Only Sane Man|Only Sane Woman]]
* [[Politically Active Princess]]: She has this role due to [[Alternative Character Interpretation]] (compared to her [[Distressed Damsel]] ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' counterpart). Mostly because leaving [[The Caligula|King Steve]] to his own devices would pretty much be the end of their dynasty.
* [[Politically-Active Princess]]: She has this role due to [[Alternative Character Interpretation]] (compared to her [[Distressed Damsel]] ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' counterpart). Mostly because leaving [[The Caligula|King Steve]] to his own devices would pretty much be the end of their dynasty.


=== Chaos ===
=== Chaos ===
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* [[Baleful Polymorph]]: Turns people who annoy her into frogs.
* [[Baleful Polymorph]]: Turns people who annoy her into frogs.
* [[Crystal Ball]]
* [[Crystal Ball]]
* [[Hot Skitty On Wailord Action|Hot Dragon God-King On Witch Action]]
* [[Hot Skitty-On-Wailord Action|Hot Dragon God-King On Witch Action]]
* [[Interspecies Romance]]
* [[Interspecies Romance]]
* [[Smug Snake]]
* [[Smug Snake]]

Revision as of 22:37, 25 January 2014


Warriors of Light

 Garland: "And what kind of tactics do you tend to employ?"

Fighter: "Oh, we usually murder our way to the top and claim victory whilst astride a pile of mangled bodies."

Garland: "I see..."

Fighter: "But we're heroes so it's okay when we do that."

Black Mage Evilwizardington

 "If there was a way to get magic for free, do you really think I'd have spent so much time sacrificing children to my dark gods? For spells, I mean. Obviously there'd still be sacrifices. A hobby's a hobby."

Fighter McWarrior

 "I like... what was it again?"

 Fighter: Get up, Lich. I'm not through hurting you yet.

Lich: You have no idea the forces at work here, boy. If death himself cannot take me, what makes you think you can?

Fighter: I SAID GET UP!

  Red Mage: Oh dear. I think it's finally happened. Years of exposure to Fighter's, shall we say, point of view, has left Black Mage a spluttering vegetable.

 Fighter: Don't lie to the poor lady, RM. You know exactly who we are and we don't look innocent at all. All I'd trust those two jokers with is a stab in the back and then the throat. And you wear a mask. I look okay and seem honest, but as far as she knows, it's an elaborate act. A ruse that works so well my own friends could never suspect - never consider - the evil I inflict upon innocents wheresoever we go.

Red Mage: He's just kidding of... of course...

    • Although, that said, sometimes you get things like this:

  Fighter: I like this plan. It needs a sword fight in the middle, but we can burn that river when we cross a bridge over the bush with two birds in glass houses.

Red Mage Statscowski

 Red Mage: "Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any given step will have no impact on the macro level."

Black Mage: "That's so stupid I can't even see straight any more."

Red Mage: "Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!"

  • A God Am I: Learned almost "every move in the game" from the Datasphere and planned to dethrone the gods.
  • Ambidextrous Sprite: The feather on his hat(s).
  • Accidental Innuendo: He does this so frequently it seems like it might actually be on purpose.

 All it required was a cocktail of dangerous experimental surgery, and a willingness to ignore the unnessecary suffering of perfectly innocent beings.

Also, I shot magic into their chromosones until they turned inside out, evolution is my bitch.

Thief/Prince Elf

 Black Mage (seeing Thief with an enormous bag of loot): "Didn't the pirates take everything already?"

Thief: "They left everything that was nailed down. I did not."

Warriors of Darkness

 Garland: "We have failed to enact any significant revenge against the hated Light Warriors."

Vilbert: "Point of order: Nuh-uh!"

Bikke: "Yar. Ye slam o' poetry be as significant as a pee in the ocean."

Drizz'l: "It's what we're all thinking."

Garland

 Garland: "You will pay for your insolence, princess. For when I summon the dark lord Chaos to do my bidding, my very first uh... bid will be to hurrrrrt you. Hurrrrt you!"

Princess Sara: "What're you gonna have him do? Poke me in the ribs?"

Garland: "Oh heavens no. I'm nefarious, not cruel."

Drizz'l

 "I have got to find new, non-sucky, friends."

Bikke

 "Be this 600 or pineapple?"

Vilbert von Vampire

 "My dark soul burns with fiery agreement. Or possibly tacos."

The Other Warriors

 Red Mage: "But the Other Warriors were on the same quest."

Thief: "It's because they aren't smart! You were able to fool them. You."

Ranger

  • The Archer
  • Department of Redundancy Department: His full name is Generic Dual-Class Half-Elven Ranger. His other class is also Ranger.
  • Dual-Wielding: Taken Up to Eleven. Unfortunately, he chose to take it Up to Eleven against Sarda, which still left him about Eleventy-Zillion short.
  • Heinz Hybrid: He's apparently 50% elf, 25% human and 12.5% orc. The remaining 12.5% is unknown, but presumably also human.
    • Bizarrely, in his introduction, he claims to be half-elven and half-human. Later he says he's a half-elven ranger who is a quarter Lefeinish (human) and a quarter half-orc. This puts him anywhere from 112.5% to 125%, depending on what the other half of the half-orc is.
  • The Hero

Berserker Axinhed

 "Just because I fly into a blind, homocidal rage at the tip of a helm doesn't mean I'm incapable of appreciating the finer things in life."

Cleric

 "Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If it weren't for my atheism, I'd be impressed by it."

Rogue

 "I know a guy."

The Fiends

Lich

 "Death is the natural state of all being. Life is the aberration. It is fleeting, and full of pain. Come, embrace the eternity in nothing!"

Kary

 "Look, I haven't killed anything in about three minutes, so my patience is nil at this point."

 Black Mage: Lady, if you weren't trying to kill me, and half made out of snake, I'd be on you like blood on my knife.

Ur

 "Anyway, you guys ordered an apocalypse if I'm right."

Muffin

 Dragoon: "Muffin is a dragon. It all makes sense now. Like, when I'd say 'Polly want a cracker?" she'd say "No, Muffin want to rip a knight in half and suck out the pulp.'"

Others

White Mage

Sarda

 "I, gentlemen, am Sarda, and that makes me the wizard who did it!"

Black Belt

 "You try walking a straight line without bumping into wave functions of neighboring realities."

Dragoon

 "All those poor, poor fools not living in towers or being able to leap into the stratosphere. It's like they wanted to drown."

King Steve

 King Steve: "Did I ever tell you about the time I built this castle all by hand?"

Princess Sara: "It's 400 years old, dad."

King Steve: "Yes, yes. I designed it that way, you know."

Princess Sara

Chaos

 "I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal."

Matoya

The Cultists

 Thief: "You're not going to have to incest at us first, are you?"

Cultist: "No, we don't do that!"

Cultist: "Any more!"

Mrr'grt: "As much!"

Astos

Warmech

 "BEHOLD MY HUMAN LASER!"

Akbar

 "Suckers!"

The Sulk

The Real Light Warriors

  • Butt Monkeys: Whenever we see these guys, they're usually getting screwed over.
  • The Chew Toys: When you consider how they were supposed to be the heroes, their suffering is very disenheartening.
  • Cosmic Playthings: Even when the Light Warriors aren't screwing them, things rarely work out for these guys.
  • Evil Counterparts: Inverted; since the Light Warriors are the very definition of Villain Protagonists, they are very heroic. To drive the point home, while the RLWs use character sprites of Fighter, Thief, and Red Mage's upgraded classes from the first Final Fantasy game (Knight, Ninja, Red Wizard, respectively) Black Mage's is a White Wizard.
  • Missed the Call: They were supposed to be the ones to become chosen by fate, but because they were out level grinding, the main characters got the job.
  • No Name Given: The only member of the group whose name was revealed is the Red Wizard named Barry.
  • Think Nothing of It: When they do pull off some heroics, they are very humble about it.