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Back-Alley Doctor: Difference between revisions
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{{examples}}
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* ''[[Black Jack]]'' isn't licensed and he's mercenary as hell, but he's also scarily good at his job, in contrast to most examples of the trope who are generally various levels of incompetent.
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* In ''[[Heat Guy J]]'', there is an illegal doctor known as "Sensei," who wears a shirt with a skull-and-crossbones on it. He's a [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]] who's always willing to help [[The Hero|Daisuke]] and adopted a little girl he found and trained her as a nurse. For a Back-Alley Doctor with a rather gruff disposition (and an implied drinking problem), he is [[Bunny Ears Lawyer|good at what he does]], as competent as an actual licensed doctor.
* Doctor Hiriluk from ''[[One Piece]]'' was a heroic example who was hampered by the fact that he knew nothing of actual medicine and developed "cures" that only made the victims worse.
== [[Comic Books]] ==
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* Technically, Pieter Cross, aka Dr Mid-Nite, qualifies. His license was revoked, and he runs a free clinic. Like Dr "Mossy" Lawn below, however, he's actually a brilliant physician.
* The teen-age Midge in ''Naughty Bits'' can't tell her parents she's gotten pregnant, so she has to go to a back-alley abortionist. The man turns out to be a former EMT who was fired for showing up in the job drunk; he gives Midge whiskey for painkiller (it doesn't work very well) and threatens her afterwards when she asks about going to a real doctor. The author then goes to elaborate on how it [[Truth in Television|could easily have been even worse]].
* The [[Marvel Universe]] has the Night Nurse, who is technically a licensed physician (not a nurse, despite the name). However, she operates under this trope to provide confidential care to the city's costumed vigilantes, and maintains her own secret identity in regards to her name and her qualifications.
== [[Film]] ==
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* ''[[Inglorious Basterds]]''. After the shootout in the tavern, the bullet in von Hammersmark's leg is removed by a vet working for the French Resistance.
* ''[[Just Go with It]]'': One of Danny's patients comes to him to get corrected after seeing one of these for plastic surgery.
== [[Literature]] ==
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* Brawne Lamia and Johnny {{spoiler|actually the cybrid of [[John Keats]]}} in ''[[Hyperion]]'' (section "The Detective's Tale") visit one in one of the more [[Wretched Hive|Wreched Hives]] on Lamia's native [[Heavyworlder|Lusus]], as part of their adventures in trying to [[Who Dunnit to Me?|figure out who killed Johnny]].
▲== [[Live Action TV]] ==
* ''[[CSI]]'': An episode featured a sex change doctor who treats male-to-female transsexuals who don't want to wait for the year-long therapy process conversion usually takes. She performs her surgeries in a storage unit.
* In ''[[Nip Tuck]]'', Dr. Merrill Bobolit loses his medical license after botching a cosmetic surgery on a dog, and winds up performing cheap liposuctions in the back of a Korean nail salon.
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* ''[[30 Rock|Thirty Rock]]'': "Dr." Spaceman is a bad enough doctor that he is legally required to put quotation marks around his "doctor" title.
* ''[[Babylon 5]]'' features a couple operating in [[The City Narrows|Downbelow]] from time to time. Even Dr. Franklin, the station's chief medical officer, runs a small clinic down there.
== [[Music]] ==
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* Mentioned in [[The Eagles]]' "Life in the Fast Lane": "Call the doctor, I think I'm gonna crash / Doctor said he's coming, but you gotta pay in cash."
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvAIisd6QLQ Dr. Dick] appears to have a doctorate, but otherwise embodies this trope. He turns his male patients into freaks and his female patients into hot babes, except for the woman who was already hot.
== [[Tabletop Games]] ==
* ''[[Shadowrun]]'' has street docs which appear to mostly be a subversion. Not only are they good enough to heal you but you can find ones that are good enough to modify you including ''adding on to your brain to boost intellect''. However, the number one thing needed from these guys is loyalty so they don't decide to kill you/steal your organs and cyberware/turn you in for the sizable bounty/all of the above in any given order. Some of the Shadowrun sourcebooks make things a little more realistic and complex; there are good street docs and very very bad ones.
** An amusing yet disturbing anecdote in 4e's ''Corporate Enclaves'' supplement concerns a group of street docs so sloppy that they didn't even bother to clean their bone drill while installing a datajack. Which means, they did ''brain surgery'' with ''unsterilized instruments''. Their hapless customer staggered into another street doc's office a day later with a "106-degree fever". As commented upon by another NPC, herself a street doc known for not quite being the Mayo clinic:▼
▲An amusing yet disturbing anecdote in 4e's ''Corporate Enclaves'' supplement concerns a group of street docs so sloppy that they didn't even bother to clean their bone drill while installing a datajack. Which means, they did ''brain surgery'' with ''unsterilized instruments''. Their hapless customer staggered into another street doc's office a day later with a "106-degree fever". As commented upon by another NPC, herself a street doc known for not quite being the Mayo clinic:
{{quote|'''Butch:''' Compared to these ham-fisted goons I am a fucking goddess.}}
* ''[[Rifts]]'' features "body chop-shops" and mentions the possibility of characters being given [[Arm Cannon]]s rather than proper cyborg hands. This is mostly a bad thing. There's actually a character type modeled after this trope, the Body Fixer.
== Theatre ==
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* ''[[Arsenic and Old Lace]]'': Dr. Einstein, the alcoholic plastic surgeon.
* Alluded to in ''[[A Raisin in the Sun]]''. When Ruth Younger slips that "*she* said everything's going to be fine" following a supposed visit to the doctor regarding her pregnancy, her mother-in-law Lena instantly realizes she has instead consulted the local abortionist (the family is poor and cannot afford another baby), although she ultimately does not go through with the procedure.
== [[Video Games]] ==
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** ''[[Grand Theft Auto Vice City]]'' has a paranoid, drunk off of potent alcohol fumes Phil Cassidy request to be taken to one of these after {{spoiler|losing his arm}}, stating that he doesn't trust the hospital.
** ''[[Grand Theft Auto IV]]'': Roman suffers a non-lethal shot and goes to one of these. He tells Niko the doctor was even more filthy than the basement where he got shot.
*** A later mission tasks you with driving two murdered corpses to one of these so they can be "fixed up" to be made to look like they have died of natural causes as well as have their organs removed to be sold in the black market.▼
▲A later mission tasks you with driving two murdered corpses to one of these so they can be "fixed up" to be made to look like they have died of natural causes as well as have their organs removed to be sold in the black market.
* ''[[Fallout]]'' series
** The Doctor in the Vault City courtyard in ''[[Fallout 2]]'' probably fits a lot of this trope as well. Then again, he never does the procedure himself, but leaves the job to his slightly malfunctioning Auto-Doc.
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* In ''[[City of Heroes|City of Villains]]'', you change your costumes and appearance at a back alley plastic surgeon's office called the Face Maker. Not only do the doctors here operate in a filthy hospital, with un-sterile tools, but if you go around a Cap Au Diable for a while you'll find enemies murdering civilians to get skin grafts for the Face Maker to use. Geez...
* The ''[[Jagged Alliance]]'' series of mercenary roleplaying games include a variety of this type of characters, who can be hired to patch up bullet-riddled mercs. They usually do the job at least decently, unless you make the mistake of hiring "Dr." Raffito "Raffi" Leewon...
** It's kind of hard to be 'fooled' by his credentials, given that his profile lists his Medical Skill (2 or 3 out of a possible 100) and even his Dexterity. (Which affects all skills is somewhere in the 10s or 20s... out of 100) On the other hand, the profile doesn't mention how skilled he is with a knife...▼
▲It's kind of hard to be 'fooled' by his credentials, given that his profile lists his Medical Skill (2 or 3 out of a possible 100) and even his Dexterity. (Which affects all skills is somewhere in the 10s or 20s... out of 100) On the other hand, the profile doesn't mention how skilled he is with a knife...
* ''[[Hitman]]'': Agent 47 gets treated by one of these in ''Contracts'' after a job goes bad, with whiskey for a disinfectant. It doesn't look pleasant, but 47 is good for one more mission an hour or so later. Of course, he's [[Made of Iron|Agent 47]]...
* In ''[[The Godfather (video game)|The Godfather]]: The Game'', when you get killed you usually respawn in these folks' clinics. While the sound bites clearly show that they are meant to be these, mentioning how they're not qualified and asking not to be reported, the fact that some operate street-side clinics dents the portrayal somewhat.
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* The Shadowrun video games for SNES and GENESIS both feature Street Docs of questionable skill. The one in the SNES game is literally found in a Back Alley and succeeds in setting of a Time Bomb that was implanted in the main character... during a routine checkup.
* In [[Mass Effect]], Garrus' loyalty mission involves hunting down a rogue doctor named Saleon, who uses his employees as test tubes to grow cloned organs that he can sell on the black market.
== [[Web Comics]] ==
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* In ''[[Homestuck]]'', [[Wheelchair Woobie]] Tavros gets a new set of robot legs to use...but Kanaya has to remove his old ones first. With <s>lipstick</s> a ''[[Girl with Psycho Weapon|chainsaw.]]''
* In ''[[Boy Aurus]]'', to acquiesce with Aurus' request for no hospital, Mint and Niccolo take him to a veterinarian.
== [[Web Original]] ==
* ''[[Amateur Surgeon]]'': [[Adult Swim]]'s Back Alley version of the ''[[Trauma Center (series)|Trauma Center]]'' game. The protagonist [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|Alan Probe]] uses makeshift tools—such as a pizza cutter in lieu of a scalpel—to help people who are [[Too Dumb to Live]]. Available as a [http://armorgames.com/play/3775/amateur-surgeon video game] in numerous locations. Also has a Christmas edition.
* Mario from [[There Will Be Brawl]] never actually went to med-school. Sort of a running gag and brick joke for his long list of previous professions.
== [[Western Animation]] ==
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* In ''[[The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy]]'', Billy's dad Harold is depicted as a straight example in the episode ''The Secret Snake Club VS P.E.''. Billy's classmates go to him to be excused from gym class by offering him fried food such as fried cheese sticks.
* ''[[American Dad]]'' has an episode in which Francine becomes one of these, working for the Cripple Mafia with her fellow doctor, a teddy bear. In the end, she gets out of her role with the mafia by tricking them into getting themselves all killed by police.
== [[Real Life]] ==
* The Darwin Awards told a story of someone who had a ''back-alley liposuction procedure''. Since it's the Darwin Awards, [[Too Dumb to Live|you can guess the outcome]].
* While hiding out in Buenos Aires, Josef Mengele continued to "practice medicine," specializing in illegal abortions and getting at least one patient killed.
*
{{reflist}}
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]▼
[[Category:Characters As Device]]
[[Category:Doctor Index]]
▲[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
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