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{{trope}}
[[File:Schlock20191029-panel5.jpg|frame|link=Schlock Mercenary|Tagon tells it like it is.]]
Examples of {{TOPLEVELPAGE}}s from {{SUBPAGENAME}} include:
* ''[[Penny Arcade]]''. "I will open one of my six mouths, [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/04/10/ and I will sing the song that ends the Earth."]
"The Waking-Dragon, coiled, as spring dawns. Hawk's-Harvest, seizing prey in the tall summer grass. Autumn-Razor, the patient hunter. Famine-of-Winter, that kills the babe at its mother's empty breast.
* In a ''[[VG Cats]]'' [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''[[The Colbert Report]]'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[Killer Instinct|Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[Mega Man (video game)|Robot Masters]], [[Punch Out|knocked out Tyson]], and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."▼
"So, will you face me?
I, who hold the very reins of the world?" }}
▲* In a ''[[VG Cats]]'' [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''[[The Colbert Report]]'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[Killer Instinct|Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[Mega Man (video game)|Robot Masters]], [[Punch
* In ''[[A Miracle of Science]]'', Benjamin delivers this boast to a difficult police sergeant: "Sergeant, I've just been to the outer solar system and back to track down a mad scientist. I've been shot at with secret weapons, destroyed robots that could take down tanks, and fallen from orbit without benefit of a re-entry vehicle. I don't need your rudeness added to my troubles, okay?" (He later shortens that last incident to "I've plunged down from orbit on ''wings of fire''".)
* Of all people, [http://mansionofe.comicgenesis.com/d/20100715.html Sylvester], self-confessed complete twit of ''[[The Mansion of E]]'', gets one.
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* ''[[Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures]]'', [http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_127.php anyone?]
** Subverted [http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_337.php here], too.
* ''[[Tales of the Questor]]'': What triggers this boast can be seen [https://web.archive.org/web/20130226234556/http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00309.html here]. "I'm the freaking Questor of Freeman Downs! I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half you big, bad gang, jackass. I have a badge, an arsenal, and a license to kill. The only reason you're still alive is that I didn't want to mess with the paperwork. So feel free to drop by any time, dillweed. I see you, or your friends within [[American Customary Measurements|a hundred miles]] of my town and I'll gut you like a trout."
** Subverted a couple of panels later; while the threat takes, the "badass" in question requires a [[Vomit Discretion Shot]] from the stress of it, which can be seen [https://web.archive.org/web/20130226234530/http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00310.html here].
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20130228063153/http://www.rhjunior.com/totq/00597.html He does it again!] With additional recap!
{{quote|"''You want to know who I am? I'll tell you who I am-- '''I'm Quentyn, son of Quinn, the Questor of Freeman Downs.''' The '''Gnomes''' call me '''"Hunter of Shadows."''' The '''Gragum''' call me '''"Little God-Slayer."''' The gangs of the Tumbledowns call me '''Sir''', if they know what's '''good''' for them. I am one of '''Oberon's Untouched''' -- '''kissed''' by the '''White Stag''' and '''blessed''' by '''two ladies''' of the '''Seleighe Court'''. I have slain a '''Gragum priest-king''' and '''three''' of his followers '''singlehanded.''' I have waded through an '''army''' of '''shadow-wights''' to lay low a '''rat-king'''. I have pulled a '''house''' down around the ears of not one, but '''two''' gangs of '''thieves'''. I have slain a '''swamp kraken''', and run before the '''Wild Hunt''' -- and '''won'''. And before I leave this duchy I will add a '''dead dragon''' to that list. '''I am a Rac Cona Daimh, and I am nothing to be trifled with.''' Do you have any '''other''' questions, Your Grace?''"}}
** The spin-off, ''[[Quentyn Quinn, Space Ranger]]''. also has one: when Commander Quinn tells some space pirates [https://web.archive.org/web/20120619085715/http://www.rhjunior.com/QQSR/00012.html why some very nasty aliens listen to the Racconans].
* Chaos of ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'' had one recently, while the left half of her body was amorphous claws and teeth, right before she leaves Magus to eternal isolation in the spirit realm:
{{quote|'''Pandora''':
'''Magus''': Crazy...bitch. }}
** Raven [http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-13 chewing] the scenery and [http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-18 spoon-feeding] it to [[
* ''[[Misfile]]'': One of Rumisiel's many [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Crowning Moments of Awesome]] in [http://www.misfile.com/?page=986 this strip].
* ''[[Gunnerkrigg Court]]'': [[Physical God|Coyote]]'s [http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=486 formal introduction].
** Most such boasts are huge, flashy, and overt, filled with eloquent speech and burning emotion. But the truly powerful ones don't need any of that. That just makes Jones' simple statement to Coyote that [http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=818 "You know I can take her if I wish."] all the more impressive. She calmly tells Coyote himself, in the heart of his own domain, that if she chose to act, ''he couldn't stop her.'' Jones doesn't rant or shout. She doesn't ''need'' to, which makes that line all the more badass.
* ''[[Sluggy Freelance]]'': "My name is Gunman Stan McKurt. And I shoot evil in the face."
* ''[[The Order of the Stick]]'': In "On the Origin of PCs", Vaarsuvius makes this when trying to convince Roy to let him/her join:
{{quote|"I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under 'Fiction' in the library, I consider the laws of thermodynamics loose guidelines at best. In short, I am grasping the reins of the universe's carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout, 'Giddy up, boy!' You many never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the common courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware." <ref>All while casually snapping the table in half with magic, and all without the use of more than one exclamation point.</ref>}}
** In one of the early strips, Vaarsuvius presents a similar boast to a gang of goblin mooks. However, [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0010.html the boast itself] knocks out the mooks before [[Ambiguous Gender|s/he]] can back it up with actual magic.
*** Vaarsuvius has a thing for Badass Boasting in general. In fact, [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness|this has cost him valuable time]] on more than one occasion.
*** But the best one was a [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0640.html simple observation] about V's neighbors in Monster Manual.
** And there's also Belkar Bitterleaf's famous proclamation: "I AM A SEXY
** Roy gets one of his own the first time he faces Xykon, but it doesn't quite take, because Xykon doesn't recognize his name or the [[But for Me It Was Tuesday|death he's there to avenge]].
** In [[
** Kazumi Kato.
{{quote|I'm a goddamn baby-making, life-taking ''machine''! Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make ''more'' in my ''tummy''!}}
** Hinjo tries to make his own [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0480.html here] but Redcloak knock him down and proceedes with (sort of) his own.
{{quote|'''Hinjo:'''
'''Redcloak:''' Your city? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought somebody would have told you by now. See, this is MY city now, paladin! I figure you owe me one village plus 35 years of interest, so this is a good start! }}
** [[Big Bad|Xykon]] has a nice habit of combining this with [[Hannibal Lecture]] and [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown]]
{{quote|'''Xykon''', to (an invisible) Vaarsuvius:
{{quote|'''Xykon to Dorukan in [[Start of Darkness]]:''' Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? [[Screw You, Elves|A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. Energy Drain! I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[Obfuscating Stupidity|Because I get bored easily.]] [[Brilliant but Lazy|Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. Energy Drain! But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! [[Un-Equal Rites|Because yes, I am a sorceror - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies."]] [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die.]] [[When All You Have Is a Hammer|You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. ENERGY DRAIN!<br />▼
*** In ''Start of Darkness'', too:
'''Xykon to Redcloak in [[Start of Darkness]]:''' What I said there to Dourkan about overwhelming force? That's only part of Colonel Xykon's secret recipe of winning. It's not just about power, it's also about [[Moral Event Horizon|how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad]]. And me? [[Our Liches Are Different|I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness.]] [[Eviler Than Thou|You're strictly little league compared to that]]. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide [[Card-Carrying Villain|true Evil]] and your whiny [[The End Justifies the Means|"evil, but for a good cause"]] crap. One gets to be the butch and one gets to be the bitch. [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|Bitch]].<br />▼
▲{{quote|'''Xykon''', to Dorukan
▲'''Xykon to (an invisible) Vaarsuvius:''' You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you. It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself. Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE. If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying? Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them. 'Course now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble. It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right. Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think. It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true. For example: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks. ''[He grabs V by the throat]'' So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End. }}
▲'''Xykon''', to Redcloak
**
{{quote|My parents were fishermen. When I was a little girl, I stood right here and learned how to clean the fish that they caught. I'm telling you this so that you know that when I say that if you take one more step, I will gut you like the catch of the day — IT IS NOT HYPERBOLE!}}
** Malack knows [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0811.html the value of brevity.]
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:::Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 challenged by one of his father's minions], indicating that he is [[TV Tropes Made of Win Archive]].
::: Then he goes four for four when he [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110815 beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion] for the sole purpose of being [[The Starscream]] ''just to keep himself sharp.''
** His dad gets a minor one [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030418 here.] "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I ''can''"
** Tarvek got [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110117 one] similar to Gil's "in control" rant recently
** Agatha learned to [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20090429 do this], too, after she takes responsibility for her family's nest.
{{quote|'''Agatha''': I am Agatha Heterodyne. You are in ''my'' town. In ''my'' castle. And ''in my way''. This little play of yours is ''over''. [...] ''One way or another''. }}
::: ...and later, [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20111228 when] her minions tried to keep her out of the harm's way -
{{quote|'''Vanamonde''': You've ''done'' your part! You ''fixed'' the Castle! The ''Doom Bell'' rang! At this point, what else ''can'' you do?
'''Agatha''': Wrong question. ''I'' am the ''Heterodyne''. ''My'' town is under attack. The ''question'' is: WHAT ''CAN'T'' I DO? }}
* [[A Wizard Did It|Sarda]], [[Jerkass|of all people]], in ''[[8-Bit Theater
{{quote|"'Wizard'? Are you kidding me? '''Wizards''' do parlor tricks. '''I''' throttle the heavens!"
"This...this isn't right...this...will not be...I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour [[Precision F-Strike|horse shit]] as absorbing too much power and exploding. [[A God Am I|I am Sarda. My will be done]]." }}
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'''Black Mage:''' ...is that a yes? }}
** [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/08/26/episode-455-self-fulfilling-stupidity/ "Yeah, I sweat wisdom for breakfast."]
* ''[[
* ''[[No Need for Bushido]]''
{{quote|'''Yorikiro:''' Call me Yorikiro, Master of Martial arts and wielder of a secret knowledge of fighting style so mystical and great it has no name for all those who witness is perish before they can grasp the immense power before them!!!!
'''Ina:''' How about I just call you Yori?
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{{quote|'''Dr. McNinja:''' Do you think I run around with a '''12-year-old boy''' because I like his inferior grasp of girls and higher level math? Do you think I left him with my psychotic parents because I wanted him to '''die'''? No, you undead pale ponce! Gordito is the effing [[Badass|Badass Kid!]] So go ahead and finish up your masterful scheme to make me let you kill me, because Gordito's going to slap around whatever ghost lackey you have like he was a pinata on the mexican day of the dead!}}
* ''[[Dominic Deegan]]'' spells it out for Celesto at the climax of the Storm of Souls story arc:
{{quote|"No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is '''always''' a center of peace and serenity. [[Tranquil Fury|I am the champion of balance...]]'''[[Tranquil Fury|the eye of the storm.]]'''
"I have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?" }}
* Shogun from ''[[Harkovast]]'', on his own, speaking to an army of the Nameless:
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{{quote|"I am Commander Kevyn Andreyasn. I have shaped the destinies of worlds, of nations, of galaxies. I have created and destroyed. I have followed and I have led. I have known love and it has known me back. I flirt with Death for a living and I have cheated the Reaper ''[[Nigh Invulnerable|a lot of]]'' times."}}
** Another vicarious one, played for laughs:
{{quote|'''Ebbirnoth''': [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/
** [[Physical God|Petey]] has a fairly simple one, when a mob boss questions his actual power and capabilities.
{{quote|'''Petey:''' [http://schlockmercenary.com/
** [[Played for Laughs,]]... but he [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-31 did] make good of his threat:
{{quote|'''Karl Tagon''': Surrender now, Damico. I have a monkey and I know how to use it.}}
** And, much later in the comic's run, we get the scene which provides this page's image.
* ''[[Sister Claire]]'' gives us "[http://www.sisterclaire.com/?p=1034 I'm sorry to tell you] that our name, ''Sisters of Mercy'', is a bit misleading. [[God]] shows mercy. ''We don't''."
* ''[[Fans]]'' had this recent bit with [https://web.archive.org/web/20100617101225/http://faans.com/index.php?p=1971 Rikk and Marc] after Hus claimed that Rikk was beaten the last time he was in the field:
{{quote|'''Rikk:''' First off, I got sucker-punched by [[Captain America (comics)]]. That's like giving Michael Phelps a head start. Secondly, I've spent the last five years with two remarkable women. One of them's one of the toughest, cleverest fighters I've ever seen anywhere. The other is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf! We work hard, but we do make time for each other. And when we're not vegging or sharing a bed...we like to spar! Marc and I aren't here to impress you, Hus. We're here to bring you to justice.
'''Marc:''' Bully needs a beatdown! (To Rikk) Yours was way more wootworthy.
'''Rikk:''' No, you gave a good closing statement. }}
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* In ''[[L's Empire|Ls Empire]]'', Dimentio from ''[[Super Paper Mario]]'' delivers this to his opponent {{spoiler|right before getting beaten up off screen and then blasting them out of the building}}:
{{quote|[http://l-empire.smackjeeves.com/comics/559585/mission-improbable-pt-31/ I am Dimentio, master of dimensions, pleaser of crowds, blaster of intro users!]}}
* ''[[Lightbringer (web comic)|Lightbringer]]'', [[Atop the Fourth Wall|Linkara]]'s superhero webcomic, ends its first chapter with its hero taking another look at his hideously corrupted city, and declaring his new mission (to himself, mostly) as he prepares to stop yet another crime from being committed.
{{quote|'''Lightbringer:''' My name is Carter Granholme. I live in Pharos City. Pharos City has been corrupted. Evil has taken hold of it. Criminals no longer fear conducting their business in the right. [http://lightbringer.comicgenesis.com/d/20060327.html I will make them afraid of it again.]}}
* [[Black Magician Girl|Rose Lalonde]] does [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003842 one] right after the epic ending of ''[[Homestuck]]'' Act 4. Her point is helped by the fact she {{spoiler|just [[Beyond the Impossible|tore an entire Gamefaqs walkthrough out of the Internet with a magic spell]] and sent it to the [[Eldritch Location|Furthest Ring]]}}:
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*** Bonus points for delivery: {{spoiler|the note is stuck on a spear in the middle of a crowded square, along with his would-be assassin's [[Decapitation Presentation|head]].}}
** His brother, Dave, [http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004728 has one earlier]:
{{quote|<span style{{=}}"color
* [[The Dragon Doctors|I am a total magical badass.]]
** Also, more recently:
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{{quote|'''Demon:''' I'm going to rip you apart.
'''Dies Horribly:''' You've already done that. It didn't work. }}
** Big Ears' response to the flea demon's attempt to manipulate him is quite fantastic:
{{quote|'''Big Ears''': You're right, flea demon, I am indeed a valuable soul. I am this realm's protector and I swear that I will personally carry this axe back to the depths of hell before he can escape it.
'''Flea demon''': You insult the Sacred with your words! He will rip off your skin and replace it with your childhood nigthmares! He will scream your name in a language so old, that...
'''Big Ears''': Yes, he will. He ''will'' scream my name. In this way, he will speak to me. But I will not answer him.}}
* ''[[Nahast: Lands of Strife]]'' has Xiang. [http://nahast.spiderforest.com/archive.php?comic_id=272 "NOTHING moves a dwarf!"]
* ''[[Zebra Girl]]'': [http://zebragirl.net/?date=2009-06-08 Sandra goes off on a rant about how she's in charge], only for it to be interrupted:
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'''Jack:''' Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. {{spoiler|And you're a bad, bad demon.}} }}
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