Bears are Bad News/Quotes: Difference between revisions

Line 1:

{{quote|''And, ladies and gentlemen, the number one threat to America... BEARS!''|'''Stephen Colbert''', ''[[~~The Colbert Report (TV)|~~The Colbert Report]]''}}

{{quote|''And, ladies and gentlemen, the number one threat to America... BEARS!''|'''Stephen Colbert''', ''[[The Colbert Report]]''}}

{{quote|''"That's a scary-ass bear! That's, like, a ''[[Jaws (~~Film~~)|Jaws]]''-sized bear! That's not even a bear. That's like a monster bear. What the fuck..."''|'''Nick and Brad from 4 Player Podcast''', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixvh-8W1OS8 "Holy Crap That's a Bear!"] upon seeing The Bear from ''[[Condemned]] 2'' for the first time.}}

{{quote|''"That's a scary-ass bear! That's, like, a ''[[Jaws (film)|Jaws]]''-sized bear! That's not even a bear. That's like a monster bear. What the fuck..."''|'''Nick and Brad from 4 Player Podcast''', [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixvh-8W1OS8 "Holy Crap That's a Bear!"] upon seeing The Bear from ''[[Condemned]] 2'' for the first time.}}

{{quote|''Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.''|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic ~~the~~ Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}

{{quote|''Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.''|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}

{{quote|'''Spike''': A bear! You made a bear!

'''Buffy''': I didn't mean to!

'''Spike''': Undo it! Undo it!|''[[~~Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)|~~Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}

'''Spike''': Undo it! Undo it!|''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}

{{quote|"''The thing about a bear'', his father had always said, ''is that it can move as silently as breath. It could be watching you from ten paces away and you'd never know. Against a bear you have no defenses. You can't run faster. You can't climb higher. You can't fight it on your own. All you can do is learn its ways, and try to persuade it that you're neither threat nor prey.''"|''[[The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness|Wolf Brother]]''}}

Line 25:

{{quote| ''No Andalite accustomed to our more pacific animal life could possibly understand what a grizzly bear charge means. Even most humans would fail to imagine it. Grizzly bears are not lithe and graceful like the big cats. They are more like dogs. They move with a rolling, lopsided gait that at first seems almost tentative, as if they might stop at any moment.''}}

{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[~~Animorphs (Literature)|~~Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}

{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}

{{quote|''"Bears, [[Trademark Favorite Food|beets]]. . . [[Battlestar Galactica]]."''|Jim Halpert's imitation of Dwight, ''[[The Office]]''}}

{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked ~~(Website)~~|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}

{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked.com|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}

{{quote|'''Kathleen:''' “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.”

Line 44:

'''Abby:''' Sure.

'''Hobo:''' The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle, they will maul you. If a bear's claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull... your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything.

'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo ~~With~~ a Shotgun]]'''}}

'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo with a Shotgun]]'''}}

{{quote|"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"|'''[[Team Fortress 2 ~~(Video Game)~~|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}

{{quote|"He's like a bear! He's like a big shaved bear that hates people!"|'''[[Team Fortress 2|The Scout]]''', describing the Heavy}}

{{quote|"Acid was always [[The Stoner|my]] [[Mushroom Samba|favorite drug.]] When we would do acid, we'd go out into the woods, because there was less chance of running into an authority figure--but we ran into a bear, and that was an even ''bigger'' buzzkill..."|'''[[Mitch Hedberg]]'''}}

{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued By a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale ~~(Theatre)~~|The Winters Tale]]''}}

{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale|The Winters Tale]]''}}

{{quote| "Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}