Bears are Bad News/Quotes: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|''Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.''|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}
{{quote|''Don't try to outrun one of Dominaria's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.''|Flavour Text for the ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://sales.starcitygames.com/cardscans/MTG6TH/grizzly_bears.jpg Grizzly Bears]; and they're pretty mediocre, as bears go}}


{{quote|'''Spike''': A bear! You made a bear!<br />
{{quote|'''Spike''': A bear! You made a bear!
'''Buffy''': I didn't mean to!<br />
'''Buffy''': I didn't mean to!
'''Spike''': Undo it! Undo it!|''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}
'''Spike''': Undo it! Undo it!|''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''}}


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{{quote|''"You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."''|[[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy|Brian Fantana]]}}
{{quote|''"You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy."''|[[Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy|Brian Fantana]]}}


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FUCKING BEARSTOP.|'''/v/'s most common variation of the FUCKING GAMESTOP [[Memetic Mutation|meme]].'''}}
FUCKING BEARSTOP.|'''/v/'s most common variation of the FUCKING GAMESTOP [[Memetic Mutation|meme]].'''}}


{{quote| ''No Andalite accustomed to our more pacific animal life could possibly understand what a grizzly bear charge means. Even most humans would fail to imagine it. Grizzly bears are not lithe and graceful like the big cats. They are more like dogs. They move with a rolling, lopsided gait that at first seems almost tentative, as if they might stop at any moment.''}}
{{quote|''No Andalite accustomed to our more pacific animal life could possibly understand what a grizzly bear charge means. Even most humans would fail to imagine it. Grizzly bears are not lithe and graceful like the big cats. They are more like dogs. They move with a rolling, lopsided gait that at first seems almost tentative, as if they might stop at any moment.''}}


{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}
{{quote|''But then you begin to realize how large they are. And you begin to realize that, awkward or not, they are [[Lightning Bruiser|very fast]]. And you begin to realize that you are puny, pathetic, weak and insignificant. [[Oh Crap|You begin to realize]] that this bear, [[The Juggernaut|this rolling, shaggy, unstoppable monster, can kill you from the mere impact of his shoulder hitting you.]]''|'''Ax''' on '''Rachel's''' favourite combat morph, ''[[Animorphs]]'', 'The Experiment'}}
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{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked.com|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}
{{quote|''"Being a gigantic bear is nature's way of saying, 'Fuck off!'"''|'''[[Cracked.com|Cracked]]''', "[http://www.cracked.com/article_18837_7-superpowered-animal-senses-you-wont-believe-are-possible.html 7 Superpowered Animal Senses You Won't Believe Are Possible]"}}


{{quote|'''Kathleen:''' “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.”<br />
{{quote|'''Kathleen:''' “I just have this completely rational fear of bears.”
'''Gramm:''' “Explain.” <br />
'''Gramm:''' “Explain.”
'''Kathleen:''' “Well, let’s see. Why don’t I list off everything that makes me afraid of bears, and we’ll take off anything that seems unreasonable. Bears are very large, they have giant teeth and claws, they have been known to maul humans, they can crush a human skull in their jaws, and if they can be taught to dance, I’m pretty sure they can be taught to do kung-fu, and that would fuck you up.”|'''[[Loading Ready Run]]''', from the episode [http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/29/OMG-Bears/QT OMG! Bears!]}}
'''Kathleen:''' “Well, let’s see. Why don’t I list off everything that makes me afraid of bears, and we’ll take off anything that seems unreasonable. Bears are very large, they have giant teeth and claws, they have been known to maul humans, they can crush a human skull in their jaws, and if they can be taught to dance, I’m pretty sure they can be taught to do kung-fu, and that would fuck you up.”|'''[[Loading Ready Run]]''', from the episode [http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/29/OMG-Bears/QT OMG! Bears!]}}


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{{quote|''Bear? Is the bear back? [[What Measure Is a Mook?|We've already lost one intern!]]''|'''Bridgette,''' ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' "Aftermath Aftermayhem"}}
{{quote|''Bear? Is the bear back? [[What Measure Is a Mook?|We've already lost one intern!]]''|'''Bridgette,''' ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' "Aftermath Aftermayhem"}}


{{quote|'''Hobo:''' Well Abby, can I tell you something about bears?<br />
{{quote|'''Hobo:''' Well Abby, can I tell you something about bears?
'''Abby:''' Sure.<br />
'''Abby:''' Sure.
'''Hobo:''' The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle, they will maul you. If a bear's claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull... your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything.<br />
'''Hobo:''' The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle, they will maul you. If a bear's claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull... your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything.
'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo with a Shotgun]]'''}}
'''Abby:''' Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious. |'''[[Hobo with a Shotgun]]'''}}


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{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale|The Winters Tale]]''}}
{{quote|''"[[Exit, Pursued by a Bear]]."''|[[Memetic Mutation|The most famous piece of]] [[Overly Narrow Superlative|stage direction ever]], from '''[[William Shakespeare]]''''s ''[[The Winter's Tale|The Winters Tale]]''}}


{{quote| "Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}
{{quote|"Number one, it's a bear. Number two, it's a bear. Number three, and probably most important... HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IT'S A GODDAMNED BEAR!"}}
-- '''[[What the Fuck Is Wrong With You|Nash]]''', pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.
-- '''[[What the Fuck Is Wrong With You|Nash]]''', pointing out the flaws in a man's crazed attempt to murder his ex-girlfriend.


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