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{{trope}}
[[File:book-
{{quote|'''Starsky:''' Looks like you just punched your last ticket, amigo.
'''Hutch:''' I'm sorry, did you just tough-talk a dead body?
|''[[Starsky and Hutch (film)|Starsky and Hutch]]'', (2004)}}
When the hero has just killed someone, often in a gruesome manner, they do a '''Bond One-Liner'''.
The classic Bond One-Liner is typically a [[Incredibly Lame Pun|bad pun]] or [[Obligatory Joke]] on the manner in which the victim was dispatched. It may be a sign that the character has [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|sociopathic tendencies]]. Very much borders on [[Crosses the Line Twice]]; overusing can cause the speaker to cross the [[Moral Event Horizon]].
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Alternately this may happen when the hero is discussing the victim with a third character often with the third character wondering why the victim is not present.
The [[Trope Namers|Trope Namer]] is [[James Bond (film)|James Bond]], who does this in every single one of his films.<ref>The early films were done under the onus of the [[Hays Code]], and used these quips to downplay the violence; later films simply carried on the tradition.</ref> Ditto [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] action movies, but [[Stealth Pun|Bond's have more pun]].
Examples of [[James Bond]]'s One-Liners - the one-liner links to the work:
* (After [[Every Car Is a Pinto|a hearse explodes]]) [[Dr. No|"I think they were on their way to a funeral."]]
* (After disemboweling someone) "I'll say this for him: [[On Her Majesty's Secret Service|he had a lot of guts."]]
* (After shooting someone with a harpoon) [[Thunderball|"I think he got the point."]]
* (After
* (After throwing someone to a shark) [[Licence to Kill|"He disagreed with something that ate him."]]
* (After shooting somebody who said he couldn't kill her because he'd miss her) [[The World Is Not Enough|"I never miss."]]
Other One-Liners that might have been said other people:
* (After decapitating someone) [[Speed (1994 film)|"He lost his head."]]
* (After tethering someone to a rocket) "He got rather carried away."
* (After cutting someone in half) [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|"He had]] [[The Running Man (film)|to split."]]
* (After [[Destination Defenestration|throwing someone out a plate glass window]]) "Smashing."
* (After throwing a machete through someone, impaling them to a tree.) [[Predator|"Stick around."]]
* (After ripping someone's heart out) "I always knew you were '''heartless!'''"
* (After forcing a grenade down someone's throat) "Something he ate disagreed with him."
* [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|(After slicing off someone's arms with a circular saw, dunking their legs in liquid nitrogen, incinerating their torso with a flamethrower, kicking their charred body into a refrigerator and condemning them to the bottom of the Arctic ocean)]] "Ouch."
Alternately, a
Note that while William Peterson's one liners on ''[[CSI]]'', David Caruso's one liners on the ''Miami'' sister show and Jerry Orbach's on ''[[Law & Order|Law and Order]]'' are often similar in content, they fail the test for this trope, as Grissom and Briscoe were never the killers, only [[Deadpan Snarker|snarkers]]. In general, see [[Quip to Black]] for cheesy one-liners right before a cut.
Also, when said ''before'' killing, it's a [[Pre-Mortem One-Liner]] (which, for the record, [[James Bond]] says just as often). If the character is making smartass quips about their own impending death then it's a [[Gallows Humour]] version of a [[Facing the Bullets One-Liner]].
{{deathtrope}}
{{examples|suf=s}}
== Anime and Manga ==
* In the first English dub of ''[[Dragon Ball]] Z'', Frieza, on surviving the Spirit Bomb, killed Krillin by making him explode before snidely commenting "Pop goes the weasel".
** Krillin himself gets a hilarious one when he defeats Chiaotzu in the World Martial Arts Tournament. He broke the latter's concentration by asking him math questions, including "What's 9 - 1?". After Chiaotzu lost, Krillin coolly said "the answer...is eight".
== Comic Books ==
* In ''[[Dirty Pair]]: A Plague of Angels'', Kei and Yuri reveal that their [[Heroes-R-Us|employer]], the 3WA, included a "Combat Quips" course teaching this trope along with the rest of their training.
* The final issue of ''[[The Ultimates]] vol 3'' gives us the worst Bond One-Liner imaginable. After a robot calls the Wasp "the mother" ([[It Makes Sense in Context]]), Ant-Man, her ex-husband, destroys it and shouts "If she's the mother...'''I'm the mother-fucker'''!" [[Memetic Mutation|Do Not Want!]]
* In ''[[Watchmen (comics)|Watchmen]]'' Rorschach kills a mook trying to arc weld his way into Rorschachs cell by standing on the bed and smashing his toilet with his foot so that the water would reach the poorly insulated arc welder and shock the guy. In [[The Film of the Book]] this was changed to him smashing the mooks head into the toilet and ''then'' shocking him, but the follow up line was the same.
{{quote|'''Rorschach:''' Hrm. Never used toilet to dispose of sewage before. Obvious really.}}
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* ''Greyshirt'' once fought a man suspected of beating his wife at the newspaper presses where he worked. Long story short, the guy falls into the machine, with hundreds of papers being covered in his blood. When asked for comment, Greyshirt said "I guess now we know what's black and white and red all over."
== Fan Works ==
* ''[[Pretty Cure Perfume Preppy]]'': "We're having roasted cheese for dinner tonight!"
* Chapter 6 of ''[[The Secret Diary Of Cameron Baum]]'' (a ''[[The Sarah Connor Chronicles]]'' fanfic): Cameron kills a thug by smashing his head with a door, but not before telling him a joke John told her earlier.
{{quote|"When is a door not a door?"
"Please. The shakedown was Frank's idea. Keep the money. Please. I need a doctor..."
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"I don't...please..."
(after killing him) "When it is a ajar, It is a joke. I'm a real hoot."
The man does not laugh. He lacks a mouth. But his brains are everywhere.
* Happens in ''[[White Devil of the Moon]]''. Jadeite has just been obliterated by a Divine Buster after [[Wedding Smashers|attacking Kyouya Takamachi's wedding in an attempt to assassinate Nanoha]]. Nanoha's sister Miyuki wipes her swords, which are covered in youma blood after the battle, off on her ruined bridesmaid's dress and says, "Does anyone ''else'' have a reason why these two should not be wed?"
* In ''[[Harry Potter and
{{quote|'''Neville''': [[Combat Pragmatist|I don't fight fair.]] [[Trying to Catch Me Fighting Dirty|I fight like]] {{spoiler|[[Crazy Awesome|Harry Potter]]}}.}}
* Invoked by name in chapter 47 of the [[The Teraverse|Teraverse]] story ''[[Hermione Granger and the Swiss Tournament]]''. Hermione (on assignment as a [[Legacy Hero|temporary 007]]) finds herself making one. This annoys her considerably, since upon taking the assignment she promised to both herself and M she would most definitely ''not'' be doing anything stereotypically Bond-like, explicitly including Bond One-Liners. Her support team, however, is thrilled:
{{quote|Ugh. Her scouts had heard her too. She tried, "Can we pretend I didn't say that?"
"Are you daft? Do you know how many of us have ever heard a Bond really say a Bond one-liner?"
"I'm gonna be dining out on that for years!"}}
== Film ==
* Used in ''[[Igor]]'' by Dr. Schadenfreude when investigating the recently-deceased Glickenstein's castle.
{{quote|'''Jaclyn''': Glickenstein [[Creating Life|invented life]]?
'''Schadenfreude''': I don't think he had ''a hand'' in it.
''Camera pans to Glickenstein's dismembered arm on the floor''}}
* In the 3D ''[[Horton Hears a Who!]]'', Horton is being pursued by Vlad the Vulture, and in one scene escapes by sending Vlad off on a [[Tree Buchet]], quipping, "This is where I get off," as he does. This is then hung with a lampshade when he remarks that he usually doesn't think of those until sometime later.
* ''[[Batman: Mask of the Phantasm]]'' has Joker delivering a death threat to a foe's apartment via phone... At the same time as a remote-controlled plane bombed said apartment to smithereens. {{spoiler|Unfortunately Batman was in said apartment to sneak around and managed to divert the plane with a Batarang, but it ''would'' have been a straight example for the intended recipient.}} The telephone used for the threat is intact enough for the Joker to deliver the following gem:
{{quote|'''Joker:''' ''*Over the phone*'' Hello? Hello, operator? I believe my party's been... Disconnected! [[Evil Laugh|HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!]]}}
* Of course, the ''[[James Bond (film)|James Bond]]'' movies have used every variation of these, but one of the most memorable is in ''[[The World Is Not Enough]]''. The villain Bond is dispatching is a former lover, and she tries to convince him not to do it with "[[You Wouldn't Shoot Me]]. You'd miss me". Bond's ice-cold reply after shooting her? "I never miss".
** Most of the ones listed on the lead happened on the series. The hearse one is the very first of the series, in ''[[Dr. No]]''; the bathtub is in ''[[Goldfinger]]'' and the harpoon, in ''[[Thunderball]]''; "He had a lot of guts" happens as a mook falls in a snowblower in ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]''; and the "throwing someone to a shark" happens in ''[[Licence to Kill]]'' (though it also happened in [[Live and Let Die (novel)|one of Ian Fleming's novels]], where the villain claims to have 'More good lines like this'. )
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*** He ejects a pilot from the rear seat of a fighter plane directly into a solid object. "Back-seat driver!"
** ''[[Casino Royale]]'' gets it in during the opening sequence when Dryden, trying to distract Bond, assures him that while the first kill is always difficult the second will be... Well, [[Sedgwick Speech|he was about to say "easier" when he gets a bullet in the head]]. Bond informs the corpse "Yes, considerably."
*** Bond has another about his near-death by poisoning when he comments "That last hand almost killed me." while
** ''[[Quantum of Solace]]'' got meta:
{{quote|'''Bond''': "Tell her Slate was a dead end."
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** In ''[[The Living Daylights]]'' Bond slashes his shoelaces when the villain is hanging onto his foot out of the back of a plane, sending him plummeting to his death. "He got the boot." Later, Bond detonates an explosive charge, collapsing a statue of Wellington onto the guy and crushing him against a diorama of the Battle of Waterloo, just so he could say "he met his Waterloo".
** Bond villains are not above giving their own lines, most notably hitmen [[Depraved Homosexual|Mister Wint and Mister Kidd]] in ''[[Diamonds Are Forever]]''. After dropping a scorpion down someone's neck they explain his absence by saying he's been "bitten by the bug!" and after blowing up a helicopter utter the proverb "If God had wanted man to fly..."; "Would have given him wings, Mr Kidd." They also give the occasional [[Pre-Mortem One-Liner]] during their repeated attempts to kill Bond.
*** OR, when they've just killed Shady Tree, another henchman says "we didn't get the money, we need Shady alive!". They reply, completely deadpan, "
*** Max Zorin gets both in ''[[A View to a Kill]]'' when naming [[Thrown From the Zeppelin]].
** Bond is directly parodied in this ''[[Rob and Elliot]]'' comic : [https://web.archive.org/web/20110902091426/http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/archive.php?id=310 ''It has to be the most depressing thing in the world for James Bond to just shoot a Guy.'']
** Oddly enough, in ''[[Die Another Day]]'', the
*** She gets two, actually: "I can read your every move!" [gets a knife (already run through a thin book) in chest] "[[Dodge This|Read this]]! [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|Bitch!]]" Style points since the book was ''[[The Art of War]]''.
*** Of all other Bond Girls, Goodnight from ''[[The Man with the Golden Gun]]'' manages to get one: "I knocked him out cold," about an engineer she had knocked into a tank of liquid helium.
*** Also in this very movie, Bond gets hit in the stomach and the ''Bad Guy'' quips: "How's that for a punchline?"
** ''[[
{{quote|''[Q has just demonstrated a grenade disguised as a pen by blowing up a test dummy]''
'''Q:''' Don't say it!
'''Bond:''' The writing's on the wall?
'''Q:'''(Chuckling) Along with the rest of him. }}
*** After
*** Lampshaded again by [[Sean Bean|Alec]]:
{{quote|'''Alec Trevalyan:''' What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback? }}
** A rather interesting example, in ''[[Licence to Kill]]'', James has just sent a bad-guy to his gruesome, messy death in a crushing machine, one he is currently hanging over. When the movie's [[Bond Girl]] Pam Bouvier shows up to save him, she asks if he is alright. His response? "Switch the ''bloody'' machine off!" It's unique
** [[Goldfinger]] has a henchman [[Thrown From the Zeppelin|dispatch a reluctant investor]] by first shooting him in the backseat of a car, then driving said car into a junkyard where it is crushed into a steel cube. "He had a pressing engagement."
* Every movie with [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] in it, except possibly ''[[Junior]]''. For example, "Consider that a divorce" after putting a bullet through the head of [[Sharon Stone]] (when she says, "You wouldn't kill me, I'm your wife," while grabbing a knife and preparing to stab him) in ''[[Total Recall]]''.
** One of the expansion packs for ''[[Red Alert]]'' included Tesla Troopers who made [[One-Liner|oneliners]] in a Arnie-style Austrian accent. "''Shock''ing."
** Oh, come ''on''. "Let off some steam, Bennet", anyone? Corny ''and'' phallic.
*** Pound for pound, ''[[Commando (film)|Commando]]'' takes the cake: "[[Pre-Mortem One-Liner|Remember how I said I'd kill you last?...I lied.]]" (After dropping Sully off a cliff) "I had to let him go." "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired." "I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I'm very hungry." (Arnold's old commander shows up too late with the cavalry) "Leave anything for us?"
**** It should be noted that the film's writer, Joseph Loeb III, would later go by the name of Jeph Loeb, and is, in fact, the writer of the awful Ultimates III one-liner mentioned above.
** ''[[Eraser]]'' has him shoot a rampaging alligator (don't ask) and utter the immortal line "You're luggage!" as he shoots it.
** Also in ''[[Eraser]]'', he parks {{spoiler|the limo containing the celebrating [[Corrupt Corporate Executive
** In ''[[Predator]]'' he puts a big ol' knife into a terrorist and tells him to "Stick around!"
** In ''[[True Lies]]'', after getting into a fist fight with a [[Giant Mook]] in a restroom, he places his head in a urinal and flushes, telling him to "Cool off."
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*** ''[[Last Action Hero]]'' parodied Bond One Liners into an art form. "Silent but deadly!"
*** "Hello? I've just shot somebody! I did it on purpose!"
** [[Total Recall|"SEE YOU AT THE PARTY RICHTER!!!!"" * Tosses severed arms off lift*
** Notably averted in the ''[[Conan the Barbarian]]'' movie: no one-liners whatsoever.
** Subverted by''[[Jingle All the Way]]'' when he knocks out a reindeer. "You started it." I- is that it?
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* The movie ''[[Speed]]'' has Keanu Reeves' character battling Dennis Hopper's [[Big Bad]] on top of a speeding subway train. Hopper has the advantage, battering Reeves around and strangling him while talking about winning because he's "smarter". Reeves then pushes his head upwards as a low-hanging light comes up, cleaving the villain's head right off. He then utters the line "Yeah? Well I'm taller!". Later, after rejoining his companion who asks where the villain is, he simply replies "He lost his head."
* In ''[[Universal Soldier]]'', [[Dolph Lundgren]]'s character gets shoved into a wood-chipper at the end of the climactic battle. When Van Damme's character is asked where he is, he simply shrugs and says: "Around."
* ''[[Shoot'Em Up (film)|Shoot Em Up]]'' is filled with Smith, the main character, muttering about things he
** Smith offers the following advice to a mook after impaling him through the mouth with a carrot: "Eat your vegetables."
** After shooting a gun with a thumbprint scanner with a hand that he cut off from a dead mook: "That's what I call a hand job."
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'''Bartleby:''' Will you ''please'' cut that out--
'''Loki:''' Oh, come on! That was great! }}
** There is also a parody of the ''Indiana Jones'' one-liner mentioned elsewhere on this page. Spoken by [[Kevin Smith|Silent Bob
* ''[[Transformers (film)|Transformers]]'' (2007)
{{quote|'''Jazz:''' You want a piece of me, Megatron?! You want a piece?!
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** This is parodied in the film [[Dogma]], after Silent Bob throws the bad guys out of the moving train.
*** Ironically, this line was [[The Silent Bob|Silent Bob's]] only line in the movie.
*** No it's
* ''[[The Long Kiss Goodnight]]'', also an [[Ironic Echo]]:
{{quote|'''Sam''' [after killing an intruder]: Chefs do that.}}
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* A villainous variant occurs in the [[Show Within a Show|movie-within-a-movie]] in ''[[Home Alone]]'', after a gangster guns someone down who'd been asking for his owed money.
{{quote|"Keep the change, ya filthy animal."}}
* In ''[[Under Siege]]'', after killing Strannix, Ryback tells him to "keep the faith".
* In another [[Steven Seagal]] film, ''[[Hard to Kill]]'', Seagal's character stabs the villain in the chest with a broken pool cue, after which he says "that was for my wife. Fuck you and die."
* From the 1992 movie ''Kuffs'' after one of the two heros shoots a mook in front of his companions. With a shotgun.
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'''George''': Well, now we know he can add and he can subtract, so...who wants to be next, here? }}
* In ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]'' a random pirate is about to kill Will: "Say goodbye!!" Something causes a shop sign to swing down and knock the pirate into the shop window, killing him. Will: "Goodbye."
* ''[[Man on Fire]]'': Creasy does Bond proud multiple times, especially with this indirect example:
{{quote|'''Elderly Man [[Bilingual Dialogue|(In Spanish)]]''': ''In the church, they say to forgive...''
'''Creasy [[Bilingual Dialogue|(Interrupting in English)]]''': ''Forgiveness is between ''them'' and ''God''. [[Omniscient Morality License|I'm just here to arrange the meeting]]'' }}
* In ''[[Bowfinger]]'' Eddie Murphy's character is an action star going through a script that would have him say, "I enjoyed meeting you, Cliff," after throwing a guy off of a cliff. Of course he doesn't like the line because he feels its too cerebral and [[Viewers are Morons|the audience won't get it.]]
* [[Played for Drama]] in ''[[Saving Private Ryan]]''. American GIs gun down German conscripts on Omaha beach. One of the Americans jokingly asks the other what they had been saying as they held their hands up to surrender. The other replies, " 'Look! I washed for supper!' "
* Inverted in ''[[The Princess Bride (film)|The Princess Bride]]''. Wesley goes through three men and the only one he doesn't have a one liner for is the one he kills.
* Seen in ''[[The Gamers|Gamers: Dorkness Rising]]''. Theron, godess of light, is trapped in the high priest's staff. When they finally realize this, it's up to Daphne to break the staff, she hurls her weapon, and shouts at the priest, '''The light of Theron be upon you!''' This is the [[Ironic Echo|traditional greeting]] among her followers, but as the staff breaks and the light bursts forth, it overcomes the high priest.
** Better than a lot of Schwarzenegger's lines.
* ''[[Judge Dredd (film)|Judge Dredd]]''. After [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|wiping out a room full of gang members single-handed,]] Dredd approaches the last guy alive, citing the various crimes he's committed over the course of the action sequence while listing the years the guy's going to get. He ends it with "killing of a Street Judge". The following then occurs.
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** Also a [[Brick Joke]] as Dale would say that to everyone he delivered subpoenas to, which was the whole reason Dale ended up outside Ted's house in the first place.
{{quote|'''Matheson:''' (after killing Budlofsky who wanted to go eat dinner instead of killing Saul) I knew you was going soft. Dinner's gonna be cold tonight, asshole!}}
* [[Die Hard|John McClane]] has a few: "Thanks for the advice, pal. " (in reply to "Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate."), , [[Catch Phrase|Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!]], and "Damn hamster!"
** Hans says in the first: "I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life." (which was actually a [[Throw It In]])
* In ''[[The Rock (film)|The Rock]]'', after shooting a rocket at a mook ([[Pre-Mortem One-Liner|"Well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the Rocket Man."]]): "How do you like how ''that'' shit works?"
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* In ''[[The Golden Compass]]'', Ragnar Sturlusson is beating up Iorek Byrnison, taunting him with, "Is that all, worthless cub!?" Iorek suddenly [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|punches his lower jaw off and bites his throat]], quipping, "Yes, that is all!"
== Literature ==
* Subverted/parodied in two of [[Terry Pratchett]]'s ''[[Discworld]]'' novels. In ''[[The Fifth Elephant]]'', Samuel Vimes mutters "The hell with it" after killing the villain in self-defense, because if he ''had'' been able to joke about killing someone, then it would have been too much like murder. In a later novel, ''[[Going Postal (Discworld)|Going Postal]]'', the narration indicates that if protagonist Moist von Lipwig had been "a hero," he would have thrown off a one-liner after tricking a monster into a gruesome death, but "since he wasn't a hero, he threw up."
** During the above statement where Vimes remarked about the distastefulness of the Bond one-liner, he did think of a few possible lines, and rejected them.
** Sorta played straight in ''[[Guards! Guards!]]'' After the Watch corner the villain, Captain Vimes orders Carrot to "throw the book at him". Carrot, who [[Blunt Metaphors Trauma|has trouble with metaphors]], literally throws his copy of ''The Laws and Ordinances of the Cities of Ankh and Morpork'' at the villain, causing him to stumble backwards over a ledge and fall to his death. Sergeant Colon remarks "What a way to go. Killed by a wossname, a metaphor," which Nobby Nobbs follows up with "Looks more like it was the ground."
* [[Sandy Mitchell]]'s ''[[Ciaphas Cain]]'' novels are replete with these, some witty, some silly, all ''hilarious''.
** Appears most frequently in the third book with current villains' battle cries: {{spoiler|"Blood for the Blood God!" "Fine, he can have yours!"}}
*** Pity that that only serves the Blood God...
*** "Blood for the Blood God!" "Harriers for the cup!"
* In the very first ''[[Animorphs]]'' book, Visser Three {{spoiler|kills Elfangor by morphing into a monster and eating him.}}
{{quote|'''Visser Three''': <Nothing like a good Antarean Bogg morph for.. taking a bite out of your enemies.>
** [[CSI: Miami|YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!]] }}
* ''Painfully'' subverted in the seventh book of ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]: [[Gaunt's Ghosts]]''.
* If this [[Star Wars]] example doesn't count, it comes seriously close. In Luke Skywalker's fight with [[Expanded Universe|Lumiya]], when she slips and falls, he grabs her arm. After saying "I'd never let you fall" he cuts her head off. [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|Awesome!]]
* Parodied in ''Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones'', when Alcatraz unleashes a [[Hurricane of Puns]] using the word {{spoiler|soul}} after {{spoiler|tricking the [[Villain of the Week]] into taking a book in the Library of Alexandria - which constitutes a contract to allow the Library's curators to claim your soul}}. All right, so it's not ''technically'' killing, but that's part of the joke.
* In ''[[John Dies at the End]]'', John gets several (of varying quality) after he "introduces" some wig-monsters to a folding chair.
** "Have a ''seat'', bitch!"
** "You've been sentenced to get the ''chair'', motherfucker!"
** "You wants the committee, asshole, then you best meet with the ''chair''!"
** "Anybody else want to donate blood to ''chair''-ity?"
** "There's some dessert! With a ''chair''-y on top!"
* ''[[Stationery Voyagers]]'' has Cindy announce the death of an Aviatet as he's thrown by an angel onto a burning high school parking lot this way:
{{quote|"Happy Thanksgiving! Turkey's in the oven!"}}
* In the novelization for ''Revenge of the Sith'', the newly fallen Darth Vader uses several of these while killing the Separatist leaders. For example, when one cries, "We surrender! Please -- you're a ''Jedi!''", he responds "You fought a war to destroy the Jedi. (Stab) Congratulations on your success."
* Averted in ''[[Black Dogs]]''. After their first fight, Sadrao says "well, that was invigorating!". And the protagonist, Lyra, instead of some witty remark, just throws up.
* Summer Rowe the genius engineer in ''[[Lacuna]]'' wants a gun like all the rest of the crew so she can deliver an XKCD-inspired line.
{{quote|'''Rowe:''' Because, you know, XKCD. They had this comic where they rated ‘potential action movie one liners’ from most-probable to least-probable, and when we find the Demons I’m dying to pull out my gun and just go... ‘Bangarang, ''motherfucker''.’ Like, from Peter Pan, the original novel. … seriously, that’d be so awesome.}}
** {{spoiler|(later)) }}
{{quote|{{spoiler|'''Rowe:''' (puts the rifle against the Toralii's chest) Bangarang, ''motherfucker''. }}}}
* ''[[Alex Rider]]'' series by Anthony Horowitz uses this all the time:
** Dropping a snowmobile on Dr Grief in ''[[Point Blanc]]'', "It looks like I sleighed him."
** In ''Crocodile Tears'', {{spoiler|Desmond}} gets one after killing {{spoiler|Bulman}} and putting his cadaver into a bulldozer: "It looks like Bulman got what every journalist dreams of - a scoop."
*** Also, Nick Diamond from the Diamond Brothers Mysteries does this quite a lot.
* ''[[The Dresden Files]]'' "For my next trick, anvils!" - said after redirecting an [[Diabolus Ex Machina|entropy curse]] onto a vampire causing said vampire to be [[Crowning Moment of Funny|hit by a frozen turkey that fell out of a plane.]]
* Tamora Pierce's Lioness Rampant has one when after Alanna kills {{spoiler|Alex}} she asks "Is this what it means to be best?"
* Averted in ''[[Mystery Team]]''; {{spoiler|Duncan}} seems more stunned about killing someone than anything, and {{spoiler|Charlie's}} only quip is:
{{quote|I hope those were baby teeth.}}
* In ''[[A Storm of Swords]]'', {{spoiler|Tyrion Lannister}} gets one after slaying his father, who sits on the privy.
{{quote|The oft repeated jape about his father was just another lie. {{spoiler|Lord Tywin did not, in the end, shit gold.}}}}
* In ''[[Artemis Fowl]]'' Mafia metal man "Loafers" keeps a notebook filled with these corresponding to the occupation of the target that he killed, including such gems as: "I'm just doing this because I knead the dough!" (After killing a baker, naturally)
* The villain of Mary Stewart's ''This Rough Magic'' is getting away, and a girl whose brother he nearly killed shouts that she wishes she could eat his heart. Then the boat he's escaping in blows up. The one person '''not''' surprised by the explosion, her fiance, tells her, "You wanted to eat his heart. I have cooked it for you."
=== Magazines ===
* The magazine ''Slate'' features [https://web.archive.org/web/20110810153530/http://www.slate.com/id/2169950/fr/nl/ the results of a contest] for reader-submitted Bond One Liners.
** The winner of that contest was "Flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, pissant."
== Live
* ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' both used and subverted this trope, as Buffy would nearly always have a Bond One Liner after (or just before) killing a baddie, but occasionally she would be mocked for using a stupid-sounding one, or the vampire would interrupt her while she was saying one.
** [[Lampshade Hanging|Brought to the attention of the audience]], when Willow tries to do a [[One-Liner]] in the first episode of season three ("Anne"), and when it doesn't work out, she explains that Buffy always says something clever, and she thinks it throws the bad guys off their guard.
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** In the Season 1 ender, Buffy knocks Giles out to keep him from facing death in her place - she then tells Ms. Calendar: "When he comes to, tell him...I don't know, think of something cool and tell him I said it."
** The show even goes so far as to imply that this is one of her [[Chosen One]] powers: when she (temporarily) loses her abilities in "Helpless," she remarks to a recently-defeated foe "If I were at full Slayer strength, I'd probably be punning about now."
*** It's more likely that she was just too exhausted to pun after having to fight as a baseline human.
*** Although this just might be considered a pun in itself...
** On the show, [[One-Liner|one liners]] are apparently the trickiest part of programming a life-like [[Robot Girl]]. Willow's attempt to (re)program the Buffy-bot to mimic the real slayer's style fails miserably, resulting in lines of gibberish after a successful slay.
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** Averted in the following episode when the real Buffy knocks down the demon biker's leader in an apparent [[She's Back]] moment...and [[Came Back Wrong|then says nothing at all]].
** Subverted slightly in the series finale, after Buffy {{spoiler|kills Caleb by splitting him in two with her new scythe}}. When Angel asks her where he is, she replies "He had to split", immediately after which she almost bursts out into laughter.
** Also subverted for [[The Worf Effect]] when Buffy first fights Glory, who delivers her own
* Played with in an episode of ''[[Angel]]'', where Wesley, after impaling a demon which constantly laughs says, "Who's laughing now? ... Well, you. But I still win."
* In ''[[Lost]]'': Fake Locke (who just murdered two people as the smoke monster): "Sorry you had to see me like that"
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** In ''Secret Agent Super Dragon'', another lame spy film on MST, Joel explains how all spies have to go through a training regiment that includes a class on "Post-kill puns".
** And again in ''[[Agent for H.A.R.M.]]'', which features probably the wussiest Bond clone ever who fails to make a single quip throughout the entire movie, a fact which Mike and the Bots are quick to admonish him for (along with his generally being boring and smarmy).
* Both a [[Quip to Black]] ''and'' a
** Weebl and Bob [https://web.archive.org/web/20140307001752/http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/
* Occasionally used in the 60s spy series ''[[The Man from U.N.C.L.E.]]'', usually delivered by Napoleon Solo after he has dispatched a THRUSH [[Mook]]. Given when the series aired and its premise, very possibly a deliberate [[Homage]] to [[James Bond]].
** [[Ian Fleming]] , who created Bond, did concept work for the show.
* A rather dark example from the second season finale of ''[[V-2009]]'' {{spoiler|"Now ''that's'' how you kill your mother."}}
* A variant from ''[[Flashpoint (TV series)|Flashpoint]]'''s first-season episode "Planets Aligned". The bad guy has a six-shot revolver, and has spent five, each shot causing the two SRU members chasing him to count it off: "That's three..." Two SRU members are trying to get him to stand down. In desperation, the gunman turns the revolver on himself.
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'''Middleman''': Ah. }}
* In ''[[Farscape]]'', Aeryn probably has the best one. Minutes after she gave birth to a baby whom was basically a [[MacGuffin]] for the villains, she shoots the commander of said villains (a commander who subjected her to no small amount of pain in efforts to discover the identity of the baby's father) squarely in the head and deadpans "It's a boy. In case you were wondering." Do. Not. Fuck. With [[Mama Bear|Mama]] [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Bearyn]].
* One of this sketches from ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' is The Bishop (spoofing [[The Saint (TV series)|''The Saint'']]), whose protagonist is a bishop (yes, with the crook and big hat and everything) whose attempts to thwart Mafia-type murders of the clergy always end in Bond One Liners.
** Another sketch features Atilla the Hun (John Cleese) as a dad in a typical cheesy sitcom, giving his delighted kids a present - a severed head. "I want you to get ''a-head!''"
* In ''[[Heroes (TV series)|Heroes]]'', after his twisted game of [[Russian Roulette]], Claire smashes a chair over [[People Puppets|puppetmaster]] Doyle's head and tersely says "Show's over."
* Garak in ''[[Star Trek:
** Garak, after being introduced to Dr Bashir's [[Shout-Out|very James Bond-like]] Holosuite adventure games, found himself wishing he'd been in that kind of intelligence service. Perhaps that's what gave him the idea to add the
* In one episode of ''[[Hogan's Heroes]]'', the Heroes have blown up a fuel truck. Hogan makes a comment, addressed to Klink, to the effect that the driver should have put up a "No Smoking" sign.
* In [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIfSQW499Xc this] ''[[That Mitchell and Webb Look]]'' sketch (at about [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIfSQW499Xc#t=1m38s 1:38]) the two are discussing why they don't want to risk [[James Bond]] showing up - because he threw a guy who insulted him out the window onto a fence railing.
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Mitchell: Well, right next to the railing was a rock crusher. It's pretty clear he'd wanted to say "what a crushing bore" but missed and was making the best of a bad job... }}
** A later episode reveals that [[Expy|Agent Suave's]] one-liners are provided courtesy of a couple of third-rate comedy writers in a van outside the mission location, who in turn get them from a big book called ''1001 Super-Spy Quips''. Unfortunately, this backfires on them when it's discovered they're also providing this service for the villain.
* In ''[[Community]]'' episode "[[Community/Recap/S2
{{quote|Troy (directed at Annie dressed as Little Red Riding Hood): "Hey Annie what nice fists you have....IN YOUR FACE!"}}
* [[Babylon 5|Marcus Cole]], upon beating the snot out of every single patron in a bar because he wants answers:
{{quote|Bugger. Now I have to wait for one of them to wake up.}}
* [[Conan O'Brien]] has a lot of fun with [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]]'s tendency to do this. Once, when asked what The Schwarzenator would say if he killed someone with a knife at a wedding (part of the US citizenship exam), he stated "Ay Nhau Prounhaunz You Man...Ahnd Naif!"
== Machinima ==
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** Which is taken up again in Episode 3 of Revelation where Sarge and Grif is kicking Wash's ass and just about to shoot with his Shotgun against some exploding barrels saying ''You just got...) and flubbs it up by shooting before he is finished. He lampshades this with ''Goddammit I messed up my one-liner''.
** A less humorous example occurs in ''Reconstruction''. Washington takes Delta's advice that South Dakota no longer "hamper their progress" and points a gun at her. She starts to say "What are you going to do, [[Killed Mid-Sentence|shoot-]]" after which Wash says, "Yes. Good suggestion."
== Music ==
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{{quote|"Ain't too cool now, is you, nigga?"}}
* In the very old ballad "Lady Isabel and the Elf Knight", Lady Isabel elopes with a knight and when they come to the seashore he boasts that he's drowned six king's daughters here "And thou the seventh shall be". But Lady Isabel tricks him and shoves him off the cliff herself, and depending on the version, says one of two things: "Six king's daughters hast thou drowned here,/Go keep them company." or "...and the seventh has drowned thee."
== Radio ==
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'''Mitchell:''' "Piercing bore"? There's no such expression!
'''Webb:''' Well, the railing was next to a crusher. It was pretty clear that he'd meant to say "crushing bore", but had missed, and was making the best of a bad job. }}
== Religion and Mythology ==
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** In the original Hebrew, the word for "donkey" sounds like the word for "heap" making a better pun.
== Toys ==
* In LEGO's ''[[Bionicle]]'', [[Big Bad|Teridax]] [[Devour the Dragon|eats/absorbs Nidhiki]] in order to gain more power for his fight with the Toa Metru. Apparently [[Evil Former Friend|Nidhiki]] did not go down easily, because Teridax would later describe the event with, "I lost because I disagreed with something I ate."
== Video Games ==
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'''Kate:''' (after defeating the same boss) "How do you like my no-fat, all-lead diet?"
'''Lisa:''' (after defeating the Sun, a tree-like creature) "I never was any good at gardening."
'''Lisa:''' (after beating Death, on the [[Recurring Boss|2nd]] [[Determinator|encounter]]) "When a lady says no, she means it!"
'''Kate:''' (after defeating The Star, who had challenged Kate and James to a "test of strength") "Looks like you're the one who failed the test!" }}
** Even more so in House of the dead Overkill, Where everyone (including the narrator) do this all the time:
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* In ''[[Fallout: New Vegas]]'', [[Memetic Badass|Boone]] has one if you take him along to kill [[Big Bad|Caesar]].
{{quote|''"Thumbs down, you son of a bitch."''}}
* In the original ''[[Command
** Alternatively, ANYTHING said by the Commandos. "Real tough guy! Nice Faceplant! I've got a present for ya! Keep 'em commin!" etc, etc.
* ''[[Star Wars]]: [[Republic Commando]]'' has Trandoshans (bipedal fat, green ugly lizard aliens) with flammable-gas-laden backpacks. Shoot one in the back, and the backpack will ignite, lifting the unfortunate Trandoshan ten feet up like a jetpack before exploding. Quirky teammate Scorch will comment on this with lines like "Woo! Fireworks!" or "Hey, I didn't know Trandoshan could fly!"
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* ''Dystopia'': Players can use context-specific taunts after kills.
* In ''[[Mass Effect 2]]'', [[Cowboy Cop|Renegade Commander Shepard]] gets rather a lot of these thanks to the interrupt system.
{{quote|'''Eclipse Mercenary''': I've got nothing else to say to you. My [[Killed Mid-Sentence|squ-]]
'''Shepard''': ''[[Destination Defenestration|[shoves him out the window of a skyscraper]]]'' ...How 'bout goodbye?
[...]
'''Shepard''':''[Electrifies mercenary with one of his tools]'' You're working too hard.
[...]
'''Shepard''':''[Faced with a krogan giving a long rambling speech]'' [[Shut UP, Hannibal|You talk too much.]] ''{{[[[Talk to the Fist]] shoots a gas line}}]'' }}
* In ''[[SWAT 4]]'', some of your squadmates have some one liners after finding a dead/incapacitated suspect along with normal chatter
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** As well as in the game ''[[Secret Agent Clank]]''.
* Chuck Greene from ''[[Dead Rising 2]]'' is pretty good at these.
{{quote|''*boss falls onto table saw after declaring "I'm twice the man you are!"*'' [[Memetic Mutation|I]] ''[[Memetic Mutation|saw]]'' [[Memetic Mutation|what you did there.]]
''*boss is killed by zombie in a bridal gown*'' You may now kiss the bride. }}
** In Off the Record, Frank West delivers even more of these than Chuck did.
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{{quote|(After scoring a headshot) Marcus: "Look ma, no face."}}
* ''[[Vega Strike]]'' has a node in each [[Dialogue Tree]] for killing another unit. Mostly for flavour, but some are funny:
{{quote|'''Rlaan'''
'''Pirate''': Heh, if I'd know it was this easy, I'd have started killing years ago.
'''Merchant''': Bet you weren't counting on someone who could fight back, were you! }}
* At the beginning of [[Batman: Arkham Asylum]], Joker escapes from custody by strangling a guard with his handcuffs:
{{quote|'''Joker''': ''The choke's on you!''}}
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'''Lara''': Happy retirement. }}
* Pit delievers quite a few in [[Kid Icarus: Uprising]], which, given [[No Fourth Wall|the nature of the game]] are lampshaded more often than not.
{{quote|''Defeating [[Giant Space Flea From Nowhere|The Space Kraken]]''
'''Pit''': Calimaried!
'''Palutena''': What a sucker.
''Defeating [[Shock and Awe|Phosphora]]''
'''Pit''': Did you see ''that'' thunder!
'''Phosphora''': ''[[Analogy Backfire|No]]'', [[Analogy Backfire|because you can't]] ''[[Analogy Backfire|see]]'' [[Analogy Backfire|thunder.]]
''Defeating Cragalanche''
'''Pit''': In your rock face!
'''Viridi''': [[Lampshade Hanging|That's your idea of a comeback?]]
''Defeating {{spoiler|[[Womb Level|Heart of Hades]]}}''
'''Pit''': Your heart wasn't even in it!
'''Pit''': [[It Makes Sense in Context|And I'm still just talking to myself...]]
''Defeating The Space Kraken, [[Boss Rush|again]]''
'''Pit''': That's right you tentafool!
'''Palutena''': [[Sarcasm Mode|Tentafool? Nice one Pit.]] }}
== Web Comics ==
* Black Mage from ''[[8-Bit Theater]]'' in [http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/04/30/episode-840-new-guard/ this comic]
{{quote|'''Thief:''' I don't think he heard you, BM.
'''Black Mage:''' He got the message though. }}
* [
* Subverted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20140912104412/http://www.dominic-deegan.com/view.php?date=2008-02-13 this] ''[[Dominic Deegan]]'' strip. "Aw man, I totally should've shouted that afterwards!"
** Also played with at the end of the [https://web.archive.org/web/20140912004534/http://www.dominic-deegan.com/view.php?date=2006-06-27 War In Hell] arc. After his enemy is dispatched by Stonewater using an ice attack on his earthly form, Karnak muses that this is the perfect time to deliver a line like, "Hell's frozen over," but Karnak's always hated those jokes.
* ''[[Rob and Elliot]]'' discuss the fact that James Bond must get depressed whenever he [https://web.archive.org/web/20110902091426/http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/archive.php?id=310 just shoots a guy].
** "I guess you... got... shot."
* ''[[A Modest Destiny]]'' got "[http://www.squidi.net/comic/amd/view.php?ep=1&id=359 Something witty.]"
** Similarly, one issue of ''[[Scud the Disposable Assassin]]'' has Scud stick his gun in a target's mouth and say "Something funny." before pulling the trigger.
* ''[[The Adventures of Dr. McNinja]]'': Gordito kills a [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot|ghost wizard]], then waits until the end of the chapter before [https://web.archive.org/web/20090425034649/http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=54&issue=11 delivering his quip]. The [[Alt Text]] on the page [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshades]] this.
** Gordito does this repeatedly in the chapter where they fight zombies. [[Lampshaded Trope|The Doctor tells him he's trying too hard,]] so he just starts saying them more quietly.
* A beautiful one from ''[[Breakfast of the Gods]]'', after {{spoiler|[[Crowning Moment of Awesome|killing Count Chocula by summoning the sun]]}}:
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* ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]'', when {{spoiler|Kathryn}} fried the opponents' [[Powered Armor]] into flaking away.
{{quote|'''Ennesby''': Wow. they're like popcorn.
'''{{spoiler|Kathryn}}''': (whips out a pistol and [[Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?|shoots them]] before they recover) Weak simile. These have to be popped twice. }}
* Backfires in [https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=60#2009-10-30 this] ''[[Sluggy Freelance]]'' strip.
{{quote|You know, we totally feared you a second ago, and you go and ruin it by making a pun.}}
== Web Original ==
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{{quote|'''Bobby:''' Rube Goldberg would be proud.}}
* The ''[[Evil Overlord List]]'', Number Seven, lists the only acceptable One Liner for villains:
{{quote|7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, [[Just Between You and Me|will you at least tell me what this is all about?]]" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."}}
* Newt exemplifies this trope amazingly in "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcFnvULy8zA How Aliens Should Have Ended]".
* The titular character of the [[Reincarnation Fantasy]] web novel ''[[Tori Transmigrated]]'' lampshades this trope in her thoughts while standing over the unconscious body of the last of a small band of pirates she has just fought off, noting that she ought to have some "witty heroic quip" to say at this moment.
== Western Animation ==
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** Being a [[No Celebrities Were Harmed|thinly-disguised version]] of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rainier "McBain" Wolfcastle uses these.
*** Or the one where Wolfcastle popps out of an ice sculpture, shoots everybody at the table down, and then quips, "Ice to see you."<ref>This was strangely prophetic of Arnie's role in ''Batman & Robin''...</ref>
*** Another McBain has the hero jumping onto a jet in mid-air, tearing open the cockpit and breaking the pilot's neck. Marge, upon watching, chuckles and says "Now that's what I call ''breakneck speed''!" Bart immediately admonishes her, [[Dude, Not Funny|"Mom, a man just
*** After infiltrating a meeting of villains and killing every last one of them, he quips, "Meeting adjourned." A sexy woman shows up and he adds, "And now I am thinking of another meeting. In bed."
*** In a non-McBain movie, Wolfcastle plays a secret agent going undercover as a high school nerd. When hassled by a couple of jocks, he quips "The ''geek'' shall inherit the Earth," then picks one up and throws him ''through'' the other's chest.
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Homer: "Die, bad robots, die!" (laughs) "With a dry, cool wit like that, I could--"
Bart: "Who would have thought that our visit to Itchy and Scratchy Land would turn out to be our best vacation ever?" }}
* ''[[Archer]]'', despite being spy fiction, [[Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic|regularly averts this]], with the agents occasionally trying and failing to come up with a
{{quote|'''Lana''': Sorry, Conway! You're... awww, wait, I had something for this...
'''Conway''': Is it something like, "You don't get off the ''hook'' this easy?"
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'''Archer''': Yeah, he's good at those. }}
* [[Adam West]] from ''[[Family Guy]]'': ''"Perhaps it was The Noid who should have avoided me"''.
** During "Lois Kills Stewie", after Peter shoots Stewie, he says [[Lethal Weapon|"It's just been revoked!"]] After Brian explains that this line doesn't work here, Peter tries another famous movie line: [[When Harry Met Sally...|"I'll have what she's having!"]]
*** That's...better??
* [[Scooby-Doo (animation)|Scooby Doo]] of all people gets to do this in an episode of ''[[Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated]]''. After crushing an evil robotic double of himself, he says: "Play dead." This a is a follow-up to several dog-related puns Freddie unsuccessfully tried to use as Bond One Liners.
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* While technically a three-liner, in ''[[Justice League Unlimited]]'' Time villain Chronos executes a mook for treason by {{spoiler|sending through time to one minute before the dinosaur-killing asteroid impact}}.
{{quote|'''Chronos:''' Do you know what {{spoiler|killed the dinosaurs}}? [...] Well, Chucko does.}}
== Real Life ==
* According to [http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/08/08/110808fa_fact_schmidle?currentPage=all this New Yorker article], averted by the SEAL who shot Osama Bin Laden.
{{quote|''"For God and country—Geronimo,<ref>Geronimo was the mission codename for Bin Laden</ref> Geronimo, Geronimo." After a pause, he added, "Geronimo E.K.I.A."
* Following his assassination of [[Abraham Lincoln]], John Wilkes Booth jumped from Lincoln's stall onto the stage (where he twisted his leg) and declared "Sic semper tyrannis" to the audience before running off ("Thus always to tyrants", the Virginia state motto and a claimed statement of one of Julius Caesar's assassins). It's also said that he added: "I have done it, the South is avenged!"
* When Molotov was in Berlin for a conference during the early stages of [[WWII]], the RAF bombed the city centre so the Russians would know that Britain was still fighting. Quoth [[Winston Churchill|Churchill]]: "We were disappointed not to be invited to the proceedings, but decided to make sure we were not forgotten."
{{reflist}}
[[Category:
[[Category:Action Adventure Tropes]]
[[Category:
[[Category:One-Liner]]
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